Dealageddon! - A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Compromise - Natural Enemies

  • Aired:  08/03/11
  •  | Views: 56,239

The debt ceiling battle took a toll on Americans, but a six-year-old shark-attack victim provides hope for bipartisan reconciliation. (3:57)

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW," EVERYBODY.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW.

WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, AUSTAN

GOOLSBEE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S MY CRYPT KEEPER

IMPRESSION.

"GOOLSBEE."

ALL RIGHT.

TURNS OUT YOU WERE RIGHT THE

FIRST TIME.

ALL RIGHT.

WE OFTEN HEAR ABOUT HOW DIVIDED

OUR COUNTRY IS AND JUST HOW

HOSTILE THE OPPOSING PARTIES IN

OUR POLITICAL DEBATE HAVE

BECOME AND THE FEAR THESE

DIVISIONS ARE SO ENTRENCHED AS

TO BE PERMANENT.

WELL, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU

SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

>> SIX-YEAR-OLD LUCY MAGNUM IS

THE BRAVE LITTLE GIRL WHO NEARLY

LOST HER RIGHT LEG LAST WEEK

AFTER A FIVE-FOOT SHARK ATTACKED

HER.

>> NOW THIS LITTLE GIRL, LITTLE

LUCY MAGNUM, SAYS SHE FORGIVES

THIS WILD BEAST.

LOOK AT THIS.

>> DID YOU FORGIVE THAT NICE

SHARK?

>> [INAUDIBLE].

>> SHE SAID, "HE REALLY DIDN'T

MEAN TO DO IT."

[AUDIENCE REACTS]

>> Jon: AND EVEN IF THAT

LITTLE GIRL IS, QUITE FRANKLY,

WRONG ABOUT THE SHARK...

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU,

I'M PRETTY SURE THAT SHARK MEANT

TO DO THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

IF NATURAL ENEMIES LIKE A LITTLE

GIRL AND SHARK, WHO HAVE BEEN

FIGHTING, AS YOU KNOW, FOR

CENTURIES -- SOMETIMES THE SHARK

WINNING, SOMETIMES THE LITTLE

GIRLS WINNING -- IF THEY CAN

FIND FORGIVENESS IN THIS AGE-OLD

BATTLE, ISN'T IT POSSIBLE THAT

OUR POLITICAL LEADERS, WHETHER

THEY BE DEMOCRATS, WHETHER THEY

BE REPUBLICANS, OH, YES.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT THEY CAN COME TOGETHER IN A

SHARED FEELING OF... NO!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NO!

NOOOOOO!

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T KNOW WHY THE TRUNK WOULD

WAGGLE IN THAT KIND OF MANNER.

THAT WAS MY FAULT.

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT

THE TWO OF THEM IN THE SAME BOX

LIKE THAT, BUT MY POINT IS THIS.

THE NEWS THAT WASHINGTON HAD

COME TO AN AGREEMENT OVER THE

RAISING OF A DEBT CEILING HAS

NOT EASED PARTISAN TENSION.

EVEN AS THE PRESIDENT SIGNED THE

LEGISLATION, A SIGNING DONE IN

PRIVATE, OR AS SOME MIGHT SAY,

"HIDING," I THINK WE STILL HAVE

THE AUDIO, THOUGH.

CAN WE...

>> MOTHER [BLEEPED], GOD "THE

SLEEP EASY SOLUTION."

CRAM IT UP THEIR ASS SIDEWAY,

GODDAMN.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon:, I DON'T KNOW WHY THE

WHITE HOUSE RELEASED THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT WHILE THE VICIOUS CHILDISH

ALMOST COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY

DEBT CEILING BATTLE HAS TAKEN

ITS TOLL ON ALL AMERICANS, THE

PROTRACTED NATURE OF THIS DEBATE

HAS BEEN ESPECIALLY HARD ON OUR

SENIOR CITIZENS.

WELL, ON ONE SENIOR CITIZEN IN

PARTICULAR.

>> FOR ME PERSONALLY I'VE BEEN

HERE FAR LONG TIME.

I HAVE A HOME IN NEVADA.

AND I HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN MONTHS.

MY MOM GRANITE TREES ARE, I'M

TOLD, BLOSSOMING AND THE

POMEGRANATES ON THEM.

I HAVE FIG TREES AND ROSES AND

STUFF I JUST HAVEN'T SEEN.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOUR POMEGRANATE AND

FIG TREES ARE... WHAT ARE YOU,

THE SULTAN OF RENO?

[LAUGHTER]

SOMETIMES THE MYTH OF EUCALYPTUS

WOULD SETTLE OVER MY PISTACHIOS

AND MY HAREM WOULD PREPARE ME A

PLATE OF CANDIED DATES AND

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