The Curious Case of Flight 370

  • Aired:  03/24/14
  •  | Views: 498,660

A paucity of information surrounding the details of missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 leaves CNN searching for creative ways to fill the void. (5:10)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]WE'RE BACK.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT OH, SHE PUTSTHE HUFF IN HUFFPO.

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON WILL BE OURGUEST TONIGHT.

BUT FIRST, FOR WEEKS THE BIGSTORY HAS BEEN THE MISSING

MALAYSIA AIRLINES FLIGHT. TODAYSATELLITE DATA SEEMS TO

HAVE CONFIRMED THE WORST. ITHINK WE ALL FEARED THIS STORY

WOULD END IN TRAGEDY, AND SOEARLY ON WE TURNED TO THE NEWS

MEDIA FOR A SENSE OF SOBERCLARITY.

>> AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS INSOUTHEAST ASIA HAVE LOST CONTACT

WITH A JUMBO JET CARRYING 239PEOPLE.

WE'RE OF COURSE DOING ALLWE CAN TO GET AS MANY DETAILS AS

POSSIBLE FROM OUR SOURCESAROUND THE REGIONS AND THEWORLD.

>> Jon: THIS ACCURATE ANDHUMBLE ASSESSMENT FROM CNN UNTIL

THEY REALIZED OH, (bleep) WEHAVE 23 HOURS AND 59 MINUTES

LEFT TO FILL.

[ LAUGHTER ](bleep) IT LET'S GO NUTS.

AND THEY DID.

WITH EVERYTHING INTHEIR BAG OF TRICKS.

GIANT FLOOR MAPS.

BIG FAKE AIRPLANES.

LITTLE FAKE AIRPLANES.

HOLOGRAPHIC AIRPLANES.

NO AIRPLANE DETAIL LEFTUNSPOKEN.

>> A PLANE LIKE THIS IS AROUND61, 62 METERS END TO END.

61-62 SIDE TO SIDE.

>> Jon: YOU ARE TELLING THEMWHAT A PLANE LOOKS LIKE?

[LAUGHTER]DID YOU FORGET WHO WATCHES CNN?

YOU COULD TELL 90% OF YOURVIEWERS LOOK OUT THE AIRPORT

WINDOW AT THE PLANE THEY AREABOUT TO GET ON.

[ LAUGHTER ]BUT, OF COURSE --

[ APPLAUSE ]THERE'S A SAYING CNN IS POPULAR

AT AIRPORTS.

[LAUGHTER]OF COURSE MAN DOES NOT LIVE BYHOLOGRAM

ALONE. GIVE ME A SIX BOX,FLANK IT, NOW STUPID ME.

>> PEOPLE ARE ASKING ABOUT BLACK

HOLES AND ON AND ON AND ON ANDALL OF THESE CONSPIRACY THEORIES

NOHA SAYS WHAT ELSE CAN YOUTHINK? BLACK HOLE? BERMUDA

TRIANGLE? AND THEN DEJI SAYSIT'S JUST LIKE THE MOVIE LOST.

I KNOW IT'S PREPOSTEROUS BUT ISIT PREPOSTEROUS, DO YOU THINK,

MARY?

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: DON'T ANSWER, MARY

IT'S A TRAP.

[ LAUGHTER ] SOME SORT OFWEIRD BERMUDA TRIANGLE

OF LOGIC WHERE QUESTIONS AREANSWERED BEFORE THEY ARE ASKED.

[LAUGHTER]>> A SMALL BLACK HOLE WOULD SUCK

IN OUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

SO WE KNOW IT'S NOT THAT.

THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IS OFTENWEATHER AND LOST IS A TV SHOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: WELL --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]-- I KNOW IT'S A TV SHOW BUT IS

IT, MARY?

[LAUGHTER]LOOK AT ME, MARY.

MARY, LOOK AT ME!

[LAUGHTER]IS IT?

[LAUGHTER]YOU HAVE TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY

DOWN TO THE STUDIO, MARY, LEVELWITH ME, MARY.

[ LAUGHTER ]WOW, DID THAT LOWER THE BAR,

CNN.

BUT I THINK YOU CAN GO LOWER.

>> INVESTIGATORS SOMETIMES USEPSYCHICS.

WHY HASN'T ANYONE CONSIDERED THESERVICES OF A CREDIBLE PSYCHIC

SPECIALIZING IN MISSING PERSONS?

IT SOUNDS INCREDIBLE BUT THEYHAVE BEEN USED BEFORE.

>> Jon: YEAH, WHILE WE'RE ATIT WHY NOT USE THAT OCTOPUS THAT

ALWAYS PREDICTS THE WORLD CUPVICTOR?

WHY DON'T WE STRAP SOME WINGS TOWOLF BLITZER AND LET HIM LOOSE

BECAUSE IN ORDER TO CATCH APLANE YOU MUST BECOME A PLANE.

[LAUGHTER]CNN'S MISSING AIRLINE OBSESSION

NOT ONLY DOUBLED THEIR PRIMETIMERATINGS IT ITSELF BECAME NEWS

BECAUSE THE ONLY THING LESSLIKELY THAN AN AIRPLANE

DISAPPEARING OUT OF THE SKYIS CNN'S RATINGS DOUBLING.

>> SPECULATION HAS BEENREPLACING HARD FACTS IN NEWS

COVERAGE EARLIER THISWEEK CNN ANCHOR DON LEMON

BROUGHT UP THE THEORY SOMETHINGQUOTE SUPERNATURAL

COULD BE AT PLAY.

>> THE NETWORK IS IN DIRERATINGS TROUBLE.

THEY GET A PULSE.

OKAY.

SO THE EXECUTIVES ORDER YOU GUYSHAVE TO DO THIS WALL TO WALL.

>> Jon: YOU BETTER BE CAREFULO'REILLY OR FOX'S COVERAGE OF

CNN'S OVER COVERAGE WILL BECOVERED -- BY CNN. NEWS LOOP!

>> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF BILLO'REILLY SPEAKING WAY HE

DID?>> I THINK HE IS NERVOUS BECAUSE

HE LOST IN THE DEMO THEYOUNGER VIEWERSHIP THREE NIGHTS

IN A ROW LAST WEEKAND HE STARTED GETTING NERVOUS.

>> Jon: WE ALL KNOW MOST OFO'REILLY'S YOUNGER VIEWERS ARE

COMING INTO THE ROOM TO MAKESURE THEIR GRANDPARENTS ARE

STILL BREATHING.

[ LAUGHTER ]I DON'T --

[LAUGHTER][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I THINK IT DOESN'T COUNT, ONCETHEY PUT THEIR HAND ON THE

CHEST, DOES THAT COUNT?

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