Democalypse 2012 - The Science of Gaffe

  • Aired:  06/11/12
  •  | Views: 58,300

Barack Obama commits a gaffe by saying the private sector is doing fine, and Mitt Romney responds with a gaffe concerning teachers and firefighters. (4:44)

>> Jon: HEY, WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOT A GOOD GUEST TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST IS LONDON MAYOR BORIS JOHNSON WHOSE NAME IS -- FUN FACT -- WHAT RUSSIAN MEN CALL

THEIR PENISES.

WE BEGIN TONIGHT, MORE SIGNS THAT THIS YEAR'S PRESIDENTIAL RACE WILL BE FAR MORE THAN A

MERE POLITICAL CONTEST AS THE MAYANS FORETOLD WE ARE ENTERING ENTERING... (DRAMATIC MUSIC)...

TONIGHT ON DEMOCALYPSE 2012 WE EXAMINE THE LIFE CYCLE OF THE CANDIDATE GAFFE.

IN THE OLD DAYS THE SINGLE GAFFE COULD LIVE FOR MONTHS, YEARS.

BUT THERE WAS AN UNFORTUNATE PHOTO OP, AN ILL ADVISED TURN OF PHRASE.

>> READ MY LIPS.

NO NEW TAXES.

>> Jon: OR EVEN BEING A DECORATED VIETNAM VETERAN.

OH, GAFFE.

BUT IN TODAY'S MODERN WORLD, AN EXPLODING GAFFE POPULATION FORCES EACH INDIVIDUAL GAFFE TO

FIGHT DESPERATELY FOR DWINDLING RESOURCES.

♪ AND I BELIEVE I HEAR A GAFFE BEING BORN RIGHT NOW.

JOIN ME AS WE WATCH PRESIDENT OBAMA DESCRIBE HOW JOB GROWTH IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR IS MATCHED BY

JOB LOSSES IN THE STATE AND LOCAL GOVERNMENT

>> THE PRIVATE SECTOR IS DOING FINE.

>> Jon: GAFFE.

CONNATE GRAT LAYINGSES,

MR. PRESIDENT.

IT'S A GAFFE.

AND WITHIN MINUTES THE GAFFE IS BEING NURTURED AND FED IN THE HOPES THAT ONE DAY IT BECOMES A

MATURE TALKING POINT

>> ARE YOU KIDDING?

DID HE SEE THE JOB NUMBERS THAT CAME OUT LAST WEEK?

THE PRIVATE SECTOR IS NOT DOING FINE.

>> IS HE REALLY THAT OUT OF TOUCH?

>> THE PRIVATE SECTOR IS DOING FINE.

>> Jon: WOW.

IT HAD ALREADY GROWN INTO A FULL-FLEDGED POLITICAL ATTACK AD.

SEEMS LIKE ANY YESTERDAY IT WAS JUST A GAFFE.

BUT THE TRUTH IS IT WASN'T EVEN YESTERDAY.

IT WAS JUST TWO-AND-A-HALF

[BLEEP] HOURS AGO.

OF COURSE AS SURELY AS WINTER FOLLOWS A FALL A FULL-GROWN GAFFE MUST SOME DAY BE WALKED BACK.

FOR THIS GAFFE, THAT DAY WAS THE ACTUAL SAME DAY, FOUR HOURS LATER.

>> IT IS ABSOLUTELY CLEAR THAT THE ECONOMY IS NOT DOING FINE.

THAT'S THE REASON I HAD THE PRESS CONFERENCE.

THAT'S WHY I SPENT YESTERDAY,

THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY, THIS PAST WEEK, THIS PAST MONTH AND THIS PAST YEAR TALKING ABOUT HOW

WE CAN MAKE THE ECONOMY STRONGER.

THE ECONOMY IS NOT DOING FINE.

>> Jon: GAFFE OVER, RIGHT?

OKAY.

I MEAN, ANYBODY WANT TO ASK ME IF I'M KENYAN?

I MEAN, ANYBODY.

GOT SOMETHING ELSE?

I HAVE REV. WRIGHT HERE.

HE'LL COME OUT AND ASK QUESTIONS.

CAN WE MOVE ON IS WHAT I'M SAYING?

ALL THAT REMAINS IS THE BLOODY GAFFE CARCASS TO BE PICKED OVER

BY OUR NATION'S MOST HE'S TEEMED GAFFE-STRONOMISTS WHO WILL MEASURE THE GAFFE USING THE

EXACT SCIENCE OF GAFFE-TRONOMY

>> I THINK IT WILL LAST LONGER THAN, SAY, MITT ROMNEY'S ETCH A SKETCH MOMENT

>> IN TERMS OF STAYING POWER,

EXPECT OTHER GAFFES TO COME DOWN

>> ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, 10 BEING POLITICAL ANNIHILATION,

HOW BIG A BLUNDER WAS THERE?

>> SIX.

Jon: SO, IF 10 IS POLITICAL ANNIHILATION, SIX WOULD BE A POLITICAL HAVING YOUR FACE

BITTEN OFF BY A CHIMP?

IS THAT GAFFE THAT IS SET ABLAZE AND PUSHED INTO A FYORDS,

ANOTHER GAFFE CONCEIVED DURING THE SPEECH ATTACKING OBAMA'S ORIGINAL GAFFE IS BORN.

>> HE SAYS WE NEED MORE FIREMEN,

MORE POLICEMEN, MORE TEACHERS.

DID HE NOT GET THE MESSAGE IN WISCONSIN?

>> MITT ROMNEY ANSWERED IT WITH A GAFFE OF HIS OWN.

WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE TEACHERS?

WHAT PLANET IS HE LIVING ON?

>> WE NEED MORE FIREMEN, MORE POLICEMEN, MORE TEACHERS.

>> LOOK, IN THE GAFFE DERBY HERE, MITT ROMNEY IS WAY AHEAD

>> IT'S TIME FOR US TO CUT BACK ON GOVERNMENT AND HELP THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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