Main St. Anytown U.S.A.

  • Aired:  01/19/11
  •  | Views: 85,974

To close budget deficits, New Jersey cuts its police force, Pennsylvania turns to gambling, and Illinois raises taxes. (5:24)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK!

, YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN HEARING A

LOT LATELY ABOUT THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT'S MONEYY WOES, BUT

EVEN HARDER HIT ARE OUR NATION'S

STATES, FACING RECORD BUDGET

SHORTFALLS.

HOW WILL MAIN STREET, U.S.A., BE

AFFECTED BY THESE ENORMOUS STATE

DEFICITS?

HEY, HEY, MR.JENKINS.

OH, I LOVE YOU.

I'LL BE COMING BY LATER TO PICK

UP COLD MEDICINE.

OF COURSE, NICE STREETS ARE

EXPENSIVE.

WITH THE ECONOMY THE WAY IT IS,

MANY TOWNS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO

CUT BACK.

>> CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY, IT'S

UNDER SIEGE.

TOMORROW, THEY EXPECT MAJOR

LAYOFFS.

>> A QUARTER OF THE CITY

EMPLOYEES ARE GONE.

HALF OF THE POLICE GONE.

AND A THIRD OF THE FIRE

DEPARTMENT GETTING PINK SLIPS.

>> Jon: IN CAMDEN?

( LAUGHTER )

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN'T

FAMILIAR WITH THE AREA, CAMDEN

IS WHERE PEOPLE FROM NEWARK GO.

( LAUGHTER )

WHEN THEY WANT TO FEEL GREAT

ABOUT NEWARK.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

YOU'RE CUTTING THE POLICE AND

THE FIRE FORCE IN CAMDEN?

LOOK, I HAVEN'T BEEN TO CAMDEN

IN A COUPLE OF YEARS, BUT MY

BEST GUESS IS, YOU'RE BETTER OFF

GOING A SURGE.

ALL RIGHT, SOME TOUGH CUTS, BUT

IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO KEEP

ANY TOWN UP AND RUNNING, OKAY.

AS LONG AS THERE AREN'T GOING TO

BE ANY OTHER.

>> IN ARIZONA TODAY THE GOVERNOR

PROPOSED CANCELLING HEALTH

INSURANCE FOR 280,000 OF THE

STATE'S POOR.

ONE SUGGESTION IN TEXAS--

ELIMINATE THE SENIOR YEAR OF

HIGH SCHOOL.

>> MIR BEGAN OWES $3.7 BILLION.

>> DETROIT MAY HAVE TO CLOSE

DOWN HALF OF THEIR PUBLIC

SCHOOLS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

HALF OF THEIR PUBLIC SCHOOLS,

CLASSROOM SIZE, THAT MEANS, WILL

GO FROM 32 STUDENT FOR ONE

TEACHER TO 62.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: YES, IT WILL

DOUBLE.

FROM 32 TO 62.

AND THEN HOW WILL THE CHILDREN

LEARN MATH?

( LAUGHTER )

SO NOW THAT ALL THESE CUTS AND

CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE, WHY

DON'T WE CHECK BACK IN ON GOOD

OLD ANY TOWN U.S.A., AND SEE

WHAT'S GOING ON.

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

THAT'S-- WELL, AT LEAST THE

HOSPITAL HAS A BOUNCER NOW.

THAT'S GOING TO HELP.

OH, BOY.

ALL RIGHT.

HOW ARE WE GOING TO KEEP PEOPLE

SAFE?

>> GUARDIAN ANGELS WILL PATROL

SOME NEW JERSEY CITIES FORCED TO

LAY OFF POLICE.

( LAUGHTER )

DISPL, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE GOING

TO REPLACE COPS WITH VIGILANTE

CRIME FIGHTERS YOU MIGHT WANT TO

GO WITH A PLAYBOY.

THESE GUYS, VERY WELL

INTENTIONED, BUT SATIN JACKETS?

NOT GOING TO CUT IT IN CAMDEN.

NO MATTER HOW MANY SERVICES WE

CUT, THOUGH, ANY TOWN IS LOSING

MONEY.

ISN'T THERE SOME WAY TO BRING

REVENUE IN?

>> STATE AFTER STATE IS TURNING

TO SLOTS AS AN EASY WAY TO RAISE

REVENUE AND INCREASE JOBS AND NO

STATE HAS BEEN MORE AGGRESSIVE

IN LURING GAMING IN THE LAST FEW

YEARS THAN PENNSYLVANIA.

>> PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GAMBLING

SINCE ORGANIZED SOCIETY WAS

FORMED ON THE BANKS OF THE

TIGRESS AND EUPHRATES.

THEY WERE GAMBLING.

AND THEY'LL GAMBLE AS LONG AS

THERE'S LIFE ON THIS PLANET, AND

THAT'S A FACT.

>> Jon: THAT'S GOVERNOR

RENDELL OF PENNSYLVANIA GETTING

IN ON THE GAMBLING GRAVY TRAIN.

IT'S THE SAME THING ABOUT

MURDER.

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO DO

IT, SO WHY DON'T WE JUST BUILD A

THUNDERDOME?

( LAUGHTER )

WE COULD TAX THE CONCESSION

STANDS AND MAKE EVEN MORE MONEY.

OF COURSE, PENNSYLVANIA ISN'T

REALLY GOING TO BUILD AN ARENA

WHERE MEN PUMMEL EACH OTHER

UNTIL ONE BEGS FOR MERCY JUST TO

CLOSE THEIR BUDGET GAP.

THAT IS WHAT NEW YORK IS DOING.

>> NEW YORK IS ONE OF THE FEW

STATES, SIX IN TOTALLAL, THAT

HAS BANNED FIGHTING BUT THE

CHAMPIONSHIP IS GETTING READY TO

SPAR WITH THE NEW YORK GOVERNOR

AND STATE LEGISLATURE TO ALLOW

THE CONTROVERSIAL SPORT IN THE

STATE.

IT WILL CREATE MORE THAN 200

JOBS.

>> Jon: MORE THAN 200

JOBS-- ALTHOUGH THOSE JOBS ARE

IN THE SPONGING UP BODILY FLUID

SECTOR WHICH HAS YET TO RECOVER

SOME MAYOR GIULIANI'S TIMES

SQUARE SEX CLEANUP.

NOT ALL OF YOU LIVED IN THE CITY

BACK THEN, BUT IT WAS MOIST.

I HESITATE TO CHECK BACK IN WITH

OUR ANYTOWN.

IT'S THE-- OH, BOY, THAT'S NOT--

OH, LOOK!

IT'S A DOG CARRYING A HUMAN

HEAD.

OF COURSE, NOT EVERY STATE HAS A

GREAT COMMONSENSE SOLUTION.

SOME OF THED WHYS TO CLOSE THE

BUDGET DEFICIT ARE A LITTLE OIT

OUTTHERE.

I WARN YOU WHEN YOU HEAR THIS

ONE IT WILL MAKE YOU ANGRY.

>> ILLINOIS JUST RAISED ITS

INCOME TAX BY TWO-THIRD.

>> TO CLOSE A DEFICIT OF $15

BILLION, PERSONNEL INCOME TAXES

HERE ARE RISING FROM THE CURRENT

3% TO 5%.

>> REALLY, REALLY?

IS THAT REALLY HOW WE'RE GOING

TO SOLVE THE STATE BUDGET?

>> Jon: WHICH WE COULD JUST

GET PEOPLE TO BARE-KNUCKLE FIGHT

EACH OTHER IN A RING?

WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO PAY FOR

THE THINGS WE WANT DONE FOR US?

WHEN WE COULD LIVE...

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