Armadebtdon 2011 - Call Congress

  • Aired:  07/26/11
  •  | Views: 203,218

Barack Obama addresses the grotesque income and wealth disparity, that has metastasized through fealty to corporate overlords, by urging Americans to call Congress. (6:23)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW"!

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOOD SHOW TONIGHT!

WE GOT A NICE ONE FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, NPR'S JUAN

WILLIAMS WILL BE JOINING US.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

REALLY?

HE'S NOT THERE ANYMORE?

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, I'LL DEFINITELY ASK HIM

ABOUT THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT WE BEGIN, OF COURSE, WITH

OUR ONGOING NATIONAL CRISIS.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

ONE WEEK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

FOR OUR TWO PARTIES TO AGREE TO

RAISE THE COUNTRY'S ARBITRARY

DEBT LIMIT FOR THE 102nd

TIME FOR THE DROP-DEAD AUGUST 2

CATASTROPHIC ULTIMATUM WE'VE

ALREADY MOVED TWICE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND SO IT WAS UNDER THESE

CONDITIONS THAT PRESIDENT BARACK

OBAMA INTERRUPTED A

BACHELORETTE'S SEARCH FOR

LOVE...

(LAUGHTER).

... TO TAKE THAT LONG WALK DOWN

"WE KILLED BIN LADEN" LANE.

>> TONIGHT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT

THE DEBATE WE'VE BEEN HAVING IN

WASHINGTON OVER THE NATIONAL

DEBT.

>> Jon: THE DEBATE WE'VE BEEN

HAVING?

(LAUGHTER)

IS THAT WHAT THAT NOISE OUT OF

WASHINGTON'S BEEN?

IT SOUNDED LIKE AN A ELEPHANT

SEAL TRYING TO (BLEEP) A TRUCK!

(LAUGHTER)

ACTUALLY, THAT FOOTAGE IS FROM A

FEW YEARS AGO.

THE TWO OF THEM ARE VERY HAPPY

TOGETHER, THOUGH.

(APPLAUSE)

THAT'S AN ABOMINATION.

FUN TO RIDE.

THE PRESIDENT WAS IN FULL

EDUCATOR-IN-CHIEF MODE.

>> FOR THE LAST DECADE, WE'VE

SPENT MORE MONEY THAN WE'VE

TAKEN IN.

IF WE STAY ON THE CURRENT PATH,

OUR GROWING DEBT COULD COST US

JOBS AND DO SERIOUS DAMAGE TO

THE ECONOMY.

>> Jon: HUH?

(LAUGHTER)

YOU KNOW, I THINK YOUR FINANCIAL

AUSTERITY PATH MESSAGE MAY BE

SLIGHTLY UNDERCUT BY THE

GOLDEN-CHAIRED RED CARPET PATH

YOU WALKED DOWN TO TELL US ABOUT

IT.

ISN'T THERE ANY WAY TO DO THE

TIGHTEN THE BELT SPEECH FROM A

ROOM THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE

FOYER OF THE VATICAN?

(LAUGHTER)

JUST SAYING IF WILLY WONKA HAD

TO ADDRESS AMERICA'S CHOCOLATE

SHORTAGE, HE MIGHT NOT DO IT

FROM THE WATERFALL ROOM.

(LAUGHTER)

AUGUSTUS GLOOP!

BUT ENOUGH ON THE THEATRICS,

LET'S GET DOWN TO THE

NITTY-GRITTY.

>> BASICALLY, THE DEBATE HAS

CENTERED AROUND TWO DIFFERENT

APPROACHES.

THE FIRST APPROACH SAYS "LET'S

LIVE WITHIN OUR MEANS BY MAKING

SERIOUS, HISTORIC CUTS IN

GOVERNMENT SPENDING.

LET'S CUT DOMESTIC SPENDING TO

THE LOWEST LEVEL IT'S BEEN SINCE

DWIGHT EISENHOWER WAS PRESIDENT

PRESIDENT."

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

SO MASSIVE CUTS TO GOVERNMENT

SPENDING.

NO SURPRISE COMING FROM THE

REPUBLICANS.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, THAT'S THE DEMOCRATS' PLAN.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT THE (BLEEP)'S BEEN GOING ON

DOWN THERE?

(LAUGHTER)

SO WHAT EXACTLY DO THE

REPUBLICANS WANT?

>> REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS ARE

INSISTING ON A DIFFERENT

APPROACH, A "CUTS-ONLY"

APPROACH.

AN APPROACH THAT DOESN'T ASK THE

WEALTHIEST AMERICANS OR BIGGEST

CORPORATIONS TO CONTRIBUTE

ANYTHING AT ALL.

HOW CAN WE ASK A STUDENT TO PAY

MORE FOR COLLEGE BEFORE WE ASK

HEDGE FUND MANAGERS TO STOP

PAYING TAXES AT A LOWER RATE

THAN THEIR SECRETARIES.

>> Jon: DEATH TO THE

OLIGARCHS!

DEATH TO THE OLIGARCHS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

POWER TO THE... POWER TO THE

PEOPLE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WOW!

WOW!

COMMUNISM IS HEAVY!

(LAUGHTER)

I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH STRENGTH

IT TOOK TO BE A COMMUNIST.

(LAUGHTER)

AT LONG LAST, MR. PRESIDENT, WE

BEGIN TO ADDRESS THE GROTESQUE

INCOME AND WEALTH DISPARITY THAT

HAS BEEN ALLOWED TO METASTASIZE

TO FEALTY TO CORPORATE

OVERLORDS.

GIVE US OUR ASSIGNMENTS,

COMRADE.

WHAT IS OUR MISSION?

>> SO I'M ASKING YOU ALL TO MAKE

YOUR VOICE HEARD.

IF YOU WANT A BALANCED APPROACH

TO REDUCING THE DEFICIT, LET

YOUR MEMBER OF CONGRESS KNOW.

IF YOU BELIEVE WE CAN SOLVE THIS

PROBLEM THROUGH COMPROMISE, SEND

THAT MESSAGE.

(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: THAT'S YOUR IDEA?

CALL YOUR CONGRESSMAN?

DID THE PRESIDENT JUST QUIT?

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE THE

PRESIDENT!

YOU'RE ASKING US TO CALL

CONGRESS?

OH, YEAH, SURE, I'LL CALL THE

CONGRESS.

WHY DON'T YOU COME HERE AND MOW

MY (BLEEP)ING LAWN BECAUSE I'VE

GOT (BLEEP) TO DO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE YOU'VE GIVEN

UP!

IT FEELS LIKE THAT MOMENT WHEN

YOU WERE A KID AND YOUR FAMILY'S

LATE FOR AN EVENT AND YOUR DAD

WON'T COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM

AND YOU MOM LOOKS AT YOU AND

SAYS "WILL YOU TALK TO HIM?

HE'LL LISTEN TO YOU."

HE WON'T LISTEN TO ME, I'M

SEVEN.

AND HE'S AN IDEOLOGUE.

I ACTUALLY FEEL BAD FOR THE

PRESIDENT NOW!

HE INTERRUPTED "THE

BACHELORETTE" TO BE LIKE

(WHISPERING)

"CAN YOU CALL YOUR CONGRESSMAN?

I CAN'T TALK TO THEM!"

IT'S LIKE GOING TO THAT

RESTAURANT WHERE THEY'RE LIKE

"YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN PIZZA"

AND YOU'RE LIKE, YOU MAKE YOUR

OWN (BLEEP)ING PIZZA.

(LAUGHTER)

HE'S IN A TIGHT SPOT WITH THE

ECONOMY WHICH BECAME VERY

APPARENT BY THE END OF HIS

SPEECH.

>> SO LET'S SEIZE THIS MOMENT TO

SHOW WHY THE UNITED STATES OF

AMERICA IS STILL THE GREATEST

NATION ON EARTH.

NOT JUST BECAUSE WE CAN STILL

KEEP OUR WORD AND MEET OUR

OBLIGATIONS BUT BECAUSE WE CAN

STILL COME TOGETHER AS ONE

NATION.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU.

GOD BLESS YOU.

GOD BLESS TAND M

STATES OF AMERICA.

>> Jon: OH, NOT THE GOLDEN

CHAIRS!

OH, DON'T WORRY, MR. PRESIDENT,

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