Indecision 2013 - Hey, I'm Votin' Here Edition - The Democratic Primary

  • Aired:  09/11/13
  •  | Views: 77,716

Bill de Blasio celebrates his victory in the Democratic primary with his awesome family and Jon tries out a new hairstyle. (3:33)

[APPLAUSE][CHEERING]

>> Jon: HELLO,EVERYBODY.

I'M JON STEWART, AND BOYDID WE PUT ON A PROGRAM

FOR YOU TONIGHT, OUR GUEST MR.BOB ODENKIRK AND

MR. DAVID CROSS.

I'M VERY EXCITED.

WE BEGIN TONIGHT, OFCOURSE, PRESIDENT OBAMA'S

ADDRESS ON SYRIA.

I'M KIDDING AROUND.

THAT'S NOT THE BIG STORY.

THE BIG NEWS LAST NIGHTWAS NOT SYRIA, BUT THE RESULTS

OF NEW YORK'S MAYORALPRIMARY ON THE DEMOCRATIC SIDE.

PUBLIC ADVOCATE BILL DE BLASIOWON THE NIGHT WITH THE HELP

OF HIS INCREDIBLY AWESOME FAMILY.

>> THEY'RE BLOWING KISSESTO THE CROWD.

A VERY PHOTOGENIC FAMILY.

>> Jon: THEY'RE A PHOTOGENICFAMILY? I RARELY SAY

THIS ABOUT THE MEDIA, BUTYOU'RE UNDERSELLING IT.

PHOTOGENIC DOESN'T GOANYWHERE NEAR WHAT THESE

FOLKS ARE.

CHECK OUT THIS VICTORY PARTYMOVE THEY PULLED.

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,AND NOW THE SMACKDOWN.

>> Reporter: THE ENTIRE DEBLASIO

FAMILY, INCLUDING SONDANTE AND DAUGHTER KIARA

DID A WEIRD GYMNASTIC MOVETHAT BROUGHT HUGE CHEERS

FROM THE CROWD.

[APPLAUSE][LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: ADOPT ME.

YES, SOMEHOW AFTER 12YEARS OF CAPTAIN SODA

NARC, I THINK NEW YORKCITY MIGHT BE READY FOR A

CHARISMATIC BIRACIALFAMILY WITH THEIR OWN

SYNCHRONIZED DANCE MOVES,THAT APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN

BEAMED HERE FROM THE1970s MUSIC VARIETY

SPECIAL.

WHO IS BETTER THAN THISFAMILY?

NOBODY IS BETTER THAN THISFAMILY.

YOU'VE GOT KIARA, THECONFIDENT DAUGHTER.

YOU'VE GOT DANTE, THE SONWHO IS SO CHARMING AND SO

CHARISMATIC.

I MEAN, HE ISUNBELIEVABLE.

[LAUGHTER][CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE]>> Jon: HOW DID HE DO

THAT?

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: JUST BY WATCHING

HIM, IT SPROUTED.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

OH!

THAT IS TRULYDISAPPOINTING.

OH, LOOK EVERYBODY.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

[CHEERING]>> HEY, TURN THAT DOWN!

TURN THAT DOWN!

[BLEEP][LAUGHTER]

[BOOING]>> Jon: AND FORGET ABOUT

ALL OF THAT, THERE IS HISWIFE, CHIRLANE MCCRAY, WHO, AND

THIS IS TRUE, UNTIL SHE MET HERHUSBAND WAS AN AVOWED

LESBIAN, WHICH WE KNOWFROM HER 1979 ESSENCE MAGAZINE

ARTICLE, "I AM A LESBIAN."

THIS IS WHY DE BLASIO CANWIN IN THE GENERAL ELECTION. THE

DEMOCRATS LOVEHIM BECAUSE HE IS AN

OLD-FASHIONED NEW YORKPROGRESSIVE, AND THE

REPUBLICANS LOVE HIM,BECAUSE HE CAN TURN GAY

PEOPLE STRAIGHT.

WHAT'S BETTER THAN THAT?

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