A Magnificent, Wonderful Story

  • Aired:  06/03/14
  •  | Views: 384,572

The Obama administration orchestrates a prisoner exchange for a P.O.W. in Afghanistan, sparking a standoff between opposing cliches about American ideals. (3:15)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> JON: WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MAN, DO WE HAVE A GOOD SHOWTONIGHT.

MY GUEST TONIGHT ON THIS VERYNIGHT WE HAVE -- YOU WANT TO

HEAR THIS.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS RICHARDGERVAIS.

HE IS A COMEDIAN OF NOTE FROMTHE UNITED KINGDOM.

VERY EXCITING.

BUT FIRST, VERY BIG STORY BROKECONCERNING OUR NOW TEENAGE WAR

IN AFGHANISTAN. OBVIOUSLY, THE

TEENAGE YEARS ARE TOUGH FOREVERYBODY ESPECIALLY WARS.

LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENED.

>> BREAKING NEWS A GOOD NEWSSTORY U.S. ARMY SERGEANT BOWE

BERGDAHL WHO HAS BEEN INCAPTIVITY IN AFGHANSTAN FOR

ABOUT FIVE YEARS WAS RELEASED BYTHE TALIBAN.

>> ACROSS THE BOARD THIS IS AMAGNIFICENT WONDERFUL STORY.

>> JON: YES, THIS SOUNDS LIKETHE PERFECT TIME FOR A BRAND NEW

SEGMENT "A MAGNIFICENT WONDERFULSTORY."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> JON: YOU KNOW IT'S SO RARE.

THIS IS WHY IT'S SO AMAZING.

IT'S SO RARE AMERICA GETS ASTORY LIKE THIS, MAGNIFICENT AND

WONDERFUL.

SO IF IT'S OKAY WITH EVERYONEHERE I THINK WE SHOULD RIDE THIS

PATRIOT TRAIN TO [BEEP] YEAHJUNCTION.

>> EVERYONE IS REJOICING THATHE'S SAFE AND

HE WILL GET TO GO BACK TO HISLOVING PARENTS IN IDAHO.

BUT, IT'S A COMPLICATED CASE.

>> JON: IT'S A MAGNIFICENTWONDERFUL STORY.

WHAT'S COMPLICATED ABOUTAMERICA RULES?

WE GOT OUR LAST P.O.W. BACK.

DID YOU NOT SEE THE BLUE BIRD?

I GOT THIS, PHIL.

COMPLICATED HOW?

>> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION ISSTANDING BY IT'S DECISION

TO RELEASE FIVE SENIOR MEMBERSFROM GUANTANAMO BAY IN

A PRISONER EXCHANGE FORBERGDAHL.

>> THEY HAVE, IN FACT,NEGOTIATED WITH TERRORISTS.

AND, I DON'T THINK THEYGOT A VERY GOOD DEAL.

>> JON: WOW, I DON'T KNOW WHICHOF THOSE PICTURES WAS SCARIER.

WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU TALKINGABOUT? WE ALWAYS NEGOTIATE WITH

TERRORISTS. SAYING WE DON'TNEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS

IS OUR OPENING NEGOTIATION PIT.

WE ARE NOT NEGOTIATING WITH YOU,TERRORISTS.

AND YOUR RESPONSE IS.

THAT'S PATHETIC.

THE ARGUMENT AGAINST THIS SWAPIS A CLICHE.

YOU WOULDN'T CATCH THEADMINISTRATION COUNTERING WITH A

CLICHE.

>> THE UNITED STATES DOES NOTLEAVE OUR MEN AND WOMEN

IN UNIFORM BEHIND.

>> JON: TOUCHE, CLICHE.

ALRIGHT. Y'ALL WANT TO HAVE ACLICHE OFF.

LET'S DO THIS, BRO.

>> WE DON'T NEGOTIATE WITHTERRORISTS.

>> WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND.

>> YOU DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITHTERRORISTS.

>> WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND.

>> THE UNITED STATES DOES NOTNEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS.

>>YOU NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND.

>> WE DON'T NEGOTIATE WITHTERRORISTS.

>>A GOOD SOLDIER NEVER LEAVES AMAN BEHIND.

>> JON: YOU KNOW, THE ONLYWAY -- THE ONLY WAY TO

REALLY END A CLICHE-OFF IS TOAGREE TO DISAGREE.

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