Burner & Pooch

  • Aired:  03/07/13
  •  | Views: 37,743

In a city where bad dogs and appliances are out of control, only two cops have what it takes to stop the madness. (3:52)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

NOW, GUN VIOLENCE IS RAMPART IN AMERICA BUT ONLY NOW IS IT BECOMING CLEAR HOW WIDESPREAD

THE PROBLEM IS.

>> A FLORIDA MAN SHOT IN THE LEG AND THE SHOOTER WAS NOT ARRESTED.

THE MATE BE CAUSE HE WAS SHOT IN THE LEG BY HIS DOG.

-- IT MAY BE BECAUSE THE MAN WAS SHOT IN THE LEG BY HIS DOG.

>> Jon: OF COURSE IN FLORIDA THE DOG CLAIMED HE WAS STANDING HIS GROUND.

A DOG SHOT A MAN AND GOT OFF SCOTT FREE.

I GUESS IT WAS A PURR-FECT.

NO.

THAT DOESN'T.

>> THE ONLY THING THAT STOPS A BAD GUY WITH A GUN IS IT A GOOD GUY WITH A GUN.

>> Jon: SO IF WE EXTRAPOLATE TO THIS CASE, I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT THE ONLY WAY TO STOP A BAD

DOG WITH A GUN IS A GOOD DOG WITH A GUN.

WHO IS A GOOD BOY?

[LAUGHTER]

BUT EVEN THAT WON'T COMPLETELY SOLVE THIS ISSUE.

>> COOKING BREAKFAST PROVES VERY DANGEROUS FOR A FLORIDA WOMAN.

SHE DECIDED TO PREHEAT A FRIEND'S OVEN ON MONDAY SO SHE COULD MAKE WAFFLES.

LITTLE DID SHE KNOW THE FRIEND WAS KEEPING GUN AMMO IN THE STOVE.

WHIT HEATED UP IT EXPLODED SPRAYING THE WOMAN WITH BULLETS AND CASING FRAGMENTS.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SHE WASN'T SERIOUSLY INJURED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND USING THEIR OVEN TO MAKE WAFFLES?

[LAUGHTER]

WHY WOULDN'T YOU USE YOUR WAFFLE IRON?

[LAUGHTER]

AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE YOUR OVEN TO MAKE WAFFLES, WOULDN'T YOU CHECK TO SEE IF THE OVEN WAS LOADED?

[LAUGHTER]

FOLKS, IT'S CLEAR THIS PROBLEM SOUGHT OF CONTROL.

LAUGH RAV -- IT'S CLEAR THIS PROBLEM IS OUT OF CONTROL.

AND THE GOVERNMENT CAN'T HELP.

BUT I KNOW ONE CRIME FIGHTING DUO THAT HAPPEN TO BE PERFECTLY SUITED TO PROTECT AMERICA FROM

THIS SURGE IN DOGS AND APPLIANCE VIOLENCE.

>> IN A CITY WHERE BAD DOGS AND APPLIANCES ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

>> SPRAYING THE WOMAN WITH BULLETS.

>> ONLY TWO COPS CAN STOP THE MADNESS [BARKING]

♪ ♪ BUT SOMETIMES TO ENFORCE THE RULES, YOU'VE GOT TO BREAK THEM.

>> YOU ARE A LOOSE CANNON DOG AND OVEN.

$40 MILLION WORTH OF PROPERTY DAMAGE, TEN DEAD AND DUMP ON THE MAYOR'S RUG SCHNUR OFF THE FORCE.

TURN IN YOUR BAG.

PIE IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT THIS TIME (bleep).

WHAT IS THAT?

A GOLDEN RETRIEVER AND A TOASTER OVEN HAVE TAKEN HOSTAGES.

LOOKS LIKE YOU CLOWNS GOT ONE MORE CHANCE.

GO GET 'EM, DOGS!

WHAT THE (bleep) ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

GO.

[HORNS HONKING]

[TIRING SCREECHING]

♪ ♪

[BARKING]

♪ ♪

[GUNS FIRING]

♪ ♪

>> LOOKS LIKE I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU DOG AND OVEN.

YOU ARE A GOOD COP.

WHO IS SAY GOOD COP.

>> DOG AND OVEN TUESDAYS AT 9:00.

>> DAMMIT YOU BURNED ME AGAIN!

>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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