Democalypse 2014 - 2016 Foreplay Edition Pt. 1

  • Aired:  05/07/14
  •  | Views: 69,368

With the next presidential election still years away, speculation over who will run begins. (3:40)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILYSHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD ONE FOR YOUTONIGHT.

TONIGHT'S GUEST FROM THE NEWMOVIE "NEIGHBORS" SETH ROGEN IS

GOING TO BE JOINING US ONCEAGAIN.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]BUT FIRST -- BUT FIRST 2014 MID

TERM ELECTIONS AREBUT SIX MONTHS AWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

>> WHO WILL RUN FOR THE WHITEHOUSE IN 2016?

>> WHO WILL RUN IN 2016.

>> HOW DO YOU WIN 2016?

>> WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR 2016?

>> Jon: WHY SPECULATE ABOUTTHE NEAR FUTURE WHEN YOU CAN

SPECULATE ABOUT THE FAR FUTURE.

[LAUGHTER]COMING UP YOUR TEN-DAY FORECAST

FOR NEXT FEBRUARY.

[LAUGHTER]IT'S THE SUBJECT OF TONIGHT'S

DEMOCALYPSE 2014.

THE 2016 FOREPLAY EDITION.

NOW OBVIOUSLY, FOR ALL WE KNOWJOE WILL BE THE PRESIDENT.

WE DON'T KNOW.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]JUST A FELLA WE MET. BUT

OBVIOUSLY, FOR ALL WE KNOWNOW THE 2016 ELECTION

COULD COME DOWN TO ANTIBIOTICRESISTANT STREP

VERSUS THE PETRIFIED EXOSKELETONOF DONALD TRUMP'S HAIR HELMET.

[LAUGHTER]BUT IN THE ABSENCE OF THAT

DREAM MATCHUP CAN YOU GIVE MEA LITTLE HINT OF WHO YOU HAVE AS

THE FAVORITES TO THE RUNUP TO

THE PRE-SPECULATIONHYPOTHETICALS?

>> THE PRESIDENT REALLY SEEMEDTO PUT HIS FINGER ON THE SCALE

IN FAVOR OF HILLARY CLINTON.

>> JEB BUSH GETTING A BIGBOOST AMID GROWING SPECULATION

ABOUT HIS POSSIBLE PLANS FOR2016.

>> Jon: YES! CLINTONV BUSH. THANK GOD WE FOUGHT A

BLOODY WAR AGAINST ENGLANDSO THAT POLITICAL POWER WOULD

NO LONGER BE CONSOLIDATEDIN BUT ONE FAMILY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]BECAUSE TO MY MIND, TWO JUST

MAKES SENSE. I MEAN,CONSOLIDATED IN THREE FAMILIES

THAT'S TOO MUCH. THEN YOU'VE GOTYOURSELF A WHOLE GAME OF

THRONES THING GOING ON. YOUHAVE THE KILLINGS,

YOU'VE GOT THE SEX. WE'RE GOINGTO KEEP IT TO TWO FAMILIES.

IT FEELS RIGHT.

WHAT DOES BUSH 43 THINK OF BUSH45 MAYBE JOINING 41?

HIKE?

>> UH YOU KNOW, I HAVE REALLYHAVE NOT TALKED TO JEB ABOUT

THE PRESIDENCY. IT'S HARDFOR PEOPLE TO BELIEVE.

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW.

I COULD SEE YOU FORGETTING YOUWERE THE PRESIDENT.

I COULD SEE THAT.

[LAUGHTER]I WAS -- YOU WERE THE PRESIDENT.

NAH, I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE ALWAYSBEEN A PAINTER.

PRETTY SURE, PRETTY SURE I'VEALWAYS BEEN A PAINTER OF CATS

AND FEET.

[ LAUGHTER ]CAN YOU, MR. PRESIDENT, GIVE US

A LITTLE INSIGHT INTO THIS MANJEB WHO WE'VE BEEN REPEATEDLY

TOLD IS YOUR BROTHER.

WHAT MIGHT BE ON HIS MIND?

>> I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS ON HISMIND.

AND, WE'LL TALK WHEN HE ISREADY.

I NOTICE HE IS MOVING AROUND THECOUNTRY QUITE A BIT.

>> Jon: LET ME GET THISSTRAIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]YOU DON'T TALK TO YOUR BROTHER

BUT YOU ARE TRACKING HISMOVEMENT.

[ LAUGHTER ]WHAT DID YOU TAG JEB'S EAR TO

TRACK HIS MIGRATORY PATTERNS.

OLD JEB IS HEADING SOUTH. IDON'T KNOW IF HE'S RUNNING FOR

PRESIDENT OR IF IT'S MATINGSEASON.

BOYS CHECK THE NEST.

MY BUSH IMPRESSION IS COMPLETELYGONE.

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