Extremely Loud & Incredibly Gross

  • Aired:  03/05/12
  •  | Views: 550,687

Jon Stewart covers conservatives' reaction to Rush Limbaugh's incendiary remarks about Sandra Fluke and her congressional testimony on birth control coverage. (9:32)

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>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

TONIGHT'S GUEST SEAN DONOVAN

THE PRESIDENT'S SECRETARY OF

HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT.

THAT'S RIGHT, PEOPLE.

A MALE SECRETARY.

OH, IT'S 2012.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW THEY'RE

GOING TO WANT TO BE NURSES.

ANYWAY, ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GET GOING HERE.

WE BEGIN WITH A WARNING.

I KNOW MANY OF OUR VIEWERS

HAVE BUSY LIVES AND OFTEN USE

THE TIME OF THIS PROGRAM TO

RECONNECT WITH THEIR

SIGNIFICANT OTHERS FOR

LAUGHING AND A LITTLE BIT OF A

SEXY TIME.

I KNOW A LOT OF YOU DO IT

WHILE THE SHOW IS ON.

TONIGHT YOU MAY WANT TO

POSTPONE THOSE ACTIVITIES.

BECAUSE WHILE THE SHOW WILL

STILL BE EMPLOYING THE SPANISH

FLY THAT IS A COMEDYIC TAKE ON

POLITICAL NEWS WE WILL BE

MIXING IT THE ELECTRODES TO

YOUR GENITALS THAT IS THIS

CAT.

HUMAN COLD SHOWER RUSH

LIMBAUGH.

SEE.

AS YOU PROBABLY HEARD,

GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY LAW

STUDENT TESTIFIED BEFORE

CONGRESS ABOUT HOW SHE

SUPPORTS THE GOVERNMENT

MANDATE FOR HEALTH INSURERS TO

INCLUDE CONTRACEPTION AS PART

OF WOMEN'S PREVENTIVE HEALTH

CARE RELATING TO HER OWN

SITUATION UTILIZING BIRTH

CONTROL AND A FRIEND WHO

NEEDED IT FOR MEDICAL

CONDITION.

THESE WORDS WERE... I WILL

PLAY FOR YOU.

IF YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE AT

HOME I SUGGEST YOU PUT IT ON

NOW.

GO AHEAD.

>> GEORGETOWN LAW STUDENT

SANDRA FLUKE SAID IT'S TOO

EXPENSIVE TO HAVE SEX IN LAW

SCHOOL WITHOUT MANDATED

INSURANCE COVERAGE.

WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT THE

COLLEGE CO-ED SUSAN FLUKE WHO

GOES BEFORE A CONGRESSIONAL

COMMITTEE AND ESSENTIALLY SAYS

THAT SHE MUST BE PAID TO HAVE

SEX?

WHAT DOES THAT MAKE HER?

IT MAKES HER A SLUT, RIGHT?

IT MAKES HER A PROSTITUTE.

SHE WANTS TO BE PAID TO HAVE

SEX.

>> Jon: IS HE DONE?

WOW!

WOW, THAT ALMOST GOT ON ME.

WHAT DOES HE MEAN?

WHAT IS GOING THROUGH HIS

FEVERED MIND GOING FROM A

YOUNG WOMAN TRYING TO GET A

PRIVATE INSTITUTION... YOU

HAVE TO MISUNDERSTAND SO MANY

THINGS.

HE SEEMS TO BELIEVE THAT

ANYONE USING CONTRACEPTION IS

AUTOMATICALLY HAVING SEX AND

THAT CONTRACEPTION IS

SOMETHING A WOMAN HAS TO PAY

FOR EVERY TIME SHE HAS SEX.

AND THAT THE WOMAN IS

NEVERTHELESS BENEFITING

FINANCIALLY FROM HAVING ALL

THAT DIRTY CONTRACEPTIVE DIRTY

SEX.

PERSONALLY I DON'T GET TOO

WORKED UP ABOUT THE THINGS

THAT RUSH LIMBAUGH SAYS

BECAUSE AND HAS BEEN FOR MANY

YEARS A TERRIBLE PERSON.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

PRIOR TO THIS KURFUFFLE ANY

WOMAN CONCERNED WITH ISSUES

THAT PERTAINED TO WOMEN'S

HEALTH OR WORK IS IN RUSH'S

WORLD A FENI-NAZI.

THAT'S HIS BASELINE FOR

RHETORIC.

THEY'RE FEMNI-NAZIS, SOMEONE

WHO WOULD HERD YOU ON TO A

TRAIN TO GO TO AN INDEPENDENT

GO GIRLS CONCERT.

IT'S IS IT PARTICULARLY

BIORUSH LIMBAUGH?

OF COURSE.

THAT'S LIKE SAYING THIS IS A

PARTICULARLY PUNGENT BUCKET OF

RAW SEWAGE MIXED WITH ROTTING

COW GUTS AND TYPHOID.

HE'S A TERRIBLE PERSON.

THE FUN PART IS WATCHING THE

REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL

CANDIDATE CONUNDRUM.

AS HUMANS YOU WOULD EXPECT

THEM TO REPUDIATE THE CALLING

OF A PRIVATE CITIZEN WHOSE

ONLY CRIME IS TESTIFYING

BEFORE CONGRESS A SLUT OR A

PROSTITUTE.

BUT AS CANDIDATES....

>> I'M ASTONISHED THAT THE

DESPERATION OF THE ELITE MEDIA

SUDDENLY DECIDES THAT RUSH

LIMBAUGH IS THE GREAT NATIONAL

CRISIS OF THIS WEEK.

>> HE'S BEING ABSURD BUT

THAT'S AN ENTERTAINER CAN BE

ABSURD.

>> NOT THE LANGUAGE I WOULD

HAVE USED.

>> Jon: I WOULD HAVE SAID

HUSSY OR TROLLOP OR...

COURAGE.

THEY TOO HAVE DECIDED THAT

LIMBAUGH'S ONLY MISTAKE

APPEARS TO BE SEMANTICS NOT

REASONING.

WHY DO THEY NOT BELIEVE HIS

REASONING IS WRONG?

BECAUSE THEY THINK THE SAME

THING.

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU MY

HARD-EARNED MONEY SO YOU CAN

HAVE SEX.

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE ASKING

FOR?

GOOD BRIEF.

>> CRY ME A RIVER.

NOW THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE

SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING FOR

SOMEBODY TO HAVE SEX.

IT'S NOT A RIGHT UNDER THE

CONSTITUTION TO HAVE SEX.

>> YOU HAVE TO PAY $3,000 TO

BE ABLE TO HAVE SEX WHENEVER I

WANT IT.

THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE

PAYING THAT FOR ME.

>> WHATEVER.

>> Jon: WAIT.

I DIDN'T THINK PRIESTS WERE

ALLOWED TO BE MEAN.

WHAT'S IT LIKE GOING INTO

CONFESSION WITH THIS GUY?

FORGIVE ME FATHER, I HAVE

SINNED.

WHATEVER!

TWO THINGS, ALL RIGHT.

TWO THINGS.

ONE, THIS ISN'T ABOUT PAYING

FOR WOMEN TO HAVE OR NOT HAVE

SEX.

IT'S ABOUT AN INSURANCE

MANDATE FROM THE GOVERNMENT

COVERING CONTRACEPTIVE

MEDICATION AS PART OF WOMEN'S

OVERALL HEALTH CARE.

TWO IT'S NOT YOUR TAX MONEY

THAT PAYS FOR IT.

IT WON'T GET INTO YOUR ROUND-

ABOUT ARGUMENT ABOUT SOMEHOW

MONEY IS TAKEN OUT OF YOUR

POCKET TO PAY FOR GEORGETOWN'S

PRIVATE INSURANCE PLAN WHOSE

CONTRACEPTION COVERAGE WOULD

BRING INSURANCE RATES DOWN.

I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THE

CATHOLIC CHURCH BECAUSE THEY

DON'T PAY TAXES AT ALL.

I'M JUST SAYING TO THE

PEOPLE... CHEERDZ CHEERS

I'M JUST SAYING TO THE PEOPLE

WHO ARE UPSET ABOUT THEIR HARD-

EARNED TAX MONEY GOING TO

THINGS THEY DON'T LIKE,

WELCOME TO THE (BEEP) CLUB.

EVERYONE, EVERYONE PAYS FOR

(BEEP) THEY DON'T WANT TO ALL

THE TIME.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

REIMBURSE ME FOR THE IRAQ WAR

AND OIL SUBSIDIES AND

DIAPHRAGMS...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

... AND GUESS WHAT THEN?

DIAPHRAGMS ARE ON ME.

PROPHYLACTICS.

PROPHYLACTICS ARE ON THE

HOUSE.

RENT GOOD FELLOWS.

THERE'S ONE PERSON I FELT

WOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

>> STUDENTS CAN HAVE SEX ALL

THEY WANT BUT DO THEY HAVE A

RIGHT TO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN

THEY DON'T GET ALL OF THEIR

BIRTH CONTROL COVERED?

>> I DIDN'T GO BEFORE CONGRESS

TO TESTIFY ABOUT... AND

SOMEBODY NEEDED TO PAY FOR MY

BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.

>> DOES THIS WOMAN HAVE A

SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT THAT IS

INDICATIVE OF A LARGER

ATTITUDE IN THE COUNTRY NOW IF

YOU DON'T HAVE, SOMEBODY ELSE

IS SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE.

>> MEG AND KELLY DOESN'T THINK

THE GOVERNMENT OR EMPLOYERS

SHOULD EVER BE REQUIRED TO

SUBSIDIZE SOMEONE'S SEX...

UNLESS....

>> THE UNITED STATES IS THE

ONLY COUNTRY IN THE ADVANCED

WORLD THAT DOESN'T ALLOW...

THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE PAID

MATERNITY.

I HAPPEN TO WORK FOR A NICE

EMPLOYER.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT GETTING

PREGNANT AND CARRYING A BABY

NINE MONTHS THAT YOU DON'T

DESERVE A FEW MONTHS OFF SO

BONDING AND RECOVERING CAN

TAKE PLACE?

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHERE THAT

MATERNITY LEAVE CAME FROM,

RIGHT?

NINE MONTHS PRIOR?

A LITTLE BOTTLE OF WINE.

DVD COPY OF THE NOTEBOOK.

IF YOU TOOK MATERNITY LEAVE

AND EMPLOYERS WERE REQUIRED TO

PAY THAT FOR YOU, WE PAID FOR

YOU TO HAVE SEX WHICH BY THE

WAY, FINE, YOU DESERVE IT.

YOU KNOW THE CREAM DE LaCREEPY

DIDN'T COME TO END OF RUSH'S

COMMENTS.

>> IF WE ARE GOING TO PAY FOR

YOUR CONTRACEPTIVES AND THUS

PAY FOR YOU TO HAVE SEX, WE

WANT SOMETHING FOR IT.

AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.

WE WANT YOU TO POST THE VIDEOS

ONLINE SO WE CAN ALL WATCH.

>> Jon: OH, YEAH.

NO, NO, NO.

YOU PAY SO YOU GET TO WATCH.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

LET'S SEE WHAT YOUR MONEY

BOUGHT.

>> CONTRACEPTION SHOULD BE

COVERED BECAUSE IT CAN HELP

PREVENT WOMEN FROM MANY

DIFFERENT MEDICAL PROBLEMS.

IT CAN HELP WOMEN NOT HAVE

PAINFUL PERIODS THAT PREVENT

THEM FROM GOING TO WORK OR

HEAVY PERIODS THAT CAN CAUSE

THEM TO HAVE ANEMIA.

CONTRACEPTION IS GOOD FOR

EVERYONE FINANCIALLY BECAUSE

IT HELPS UNBURDEN AN ALREADY

BURDENED HEALTH SYSTEM.

IT CAN SAVE PATIENTS, THE

INSURANCE COMPANIES AND MANY

MANY DOLLARS SPENT

UNNECESSARILY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: DID THAT WORK FOR YOU?

DOES IT WORK FOR YOU?

DO YOU NEED A LITTLE

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