Indecision 2012 - The Freaker of the Spouse

  • Aired:  01/19/12
  •  | Views: 157,006

Rick Perry suspends his presidential campaign and endorses Newt Gingrich, and the former House speaker's second ex-wife comes out about his request for an open marriage. (5:30)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: BOOM, HEY, EVERYBODY,

WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW,

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD ONE-- YES,

ALL RIGHT.

SOMEONE JUST SNEEZED.

MY GUEST FROM THE MOVIE "MAN

ON THE LEDGE" ELIZABETH

BANKS IS GOING TO JOIN US

LATER TONIGHT, BUT SOME OF

WE WANT TO GET TO TONIGHT.

YES, PLEASE, INDULGE YOUR

APPLAUSE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: SO MUCH TO GET TO

TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO DIVE

RIGHT IN.

A FEW WEEKS AGO SPUNKY YOUNG

UPSTART HEARD THE PEM'S CALL

AND DECIDED TO EXPLORE THE

POSSIBILITY OF JOINING THE

RACE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE

UNITED STATES OF SOUTH

CAROLINA.

AND!

WHEN HE DID, EVERYTHING

CHANGED.

>> THE POLL SHOWS OBAMA AT

41%, ROMNEY AT 38%, THIS IS

P-- POLL AND COLBERT AT 13%.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: 13%, 13%, 13% AFTER

A WEEK.

1 WEEK.

AT THIS RATE, SHOULD HE

DECIDE TO RUN WE CAN PROJECT

RIGHT NOW STEPHEN COLBERT

WILL WIN IN NOVEMBER WITH

546% OF THE VOTE.

(APPLAUSE)

STEPHEN COLBERT.

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

POWERFUL STORY, COMMON SENSE

APPROACH TO HARDWORKING

FAMILIES.

BUT MOSTLY TO A SALVO OF

DEVASTATING ADS CRAFTED BY

HIS MASTERFULLY RUN

SUPERPAC.

I'M SURE STEPHEN HIMSELF

WOULD THANK THIS ADROIT

ORGANIZATION IF HE COULD, IF

ONLY HE COULD COMMUNICATE

WITH THIS SUPERPAC DIRECTLY

WHICH HE OBVIOUSLY CAN'T.

BUT IF HE COULD HE--

(LAUGHTER)

HOW POWERFUL IS COLBERT'S

INFLUENCE BEEN ON THIS RACE?

SINCE COLBERT THREATENED TO

GET NOT RACE OTHER

CANDIDATES HAVE BEEN JUMPING

OVERBOARD LIKE AN ITALIAN

CRUISE SHIP CAPTAIN.

YOU HEARD ME.

E MY, THAT'S SO TOPICAL.

FIRST HUNTSMAN AND THEN THIS

MORNING.

>> THERE IS NO VIABLE PATH

FORWARD FOR ME IN THIS 2012

CAMPAIGN.

THEREFORE TODAY, MI

SUSPENDING MY CAMPAIGN AND

ENDORSING NEWT GINGRICH FOR

PRESIDENT.

>> Jon: AND THEN, AND THEN

THERE WAS, AND THEN THERE

WAS A THIRD THING I WAS

GOING TO DO AND--

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: OH [BLEEP] I DON'T

NEED TO REMEMBER ANY MORE.

I AIN'T RUNNING FOR [BLEEP]

PEWW, PEWW, I PULLED A

MUSCLE.

SO AT 11:16 A.M., THAT'S

WHEN PERRY MADE THE

ANNOUNCEMENT, IT LOOKED LIKE

CLEAR SKY FORCE NEWT

GINGRICH IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

WHAT HAPPENED AT 11:19 A.M.?

>> IT'S NOT ALL CLEAR SKIES

AHEAD FOR NEWT GINGRICH.

ABC IS SET TO AIR AN

INTERVIEW WITH GINGRICH'S

EX-WIFE MARYANN.

>> THAT'S NEVER A GOOD

THING.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: YES, RICK PERRY'S

ENDORSEMENT OF NEWT GINGRICH

GAVE THE FORMER SPEAKER A

THREE MINUTE RESPITE FROM

THE NEWS THAT GINGRICH'S

EX-WIFE WAS ABOUT TO GO

DIVORCE COURT ON HIS ASS.

THREE MINUTES, GINGRICH

BARELY HAD TIME TO HAVE A

VICTORY AFFAIR.

STILL, IT'S NOT SURPRISING

THAT NEWT'S EX-WIFE IS NOT A

FAN OF HIS.

>> IT'S BEEN LONG REPORTED

THAT GINGRICH DISCUSSED HIS

DIVORCE FROM HIS FIRST WIFE

WHILE SHE WAS RECOVERING

FROM CANCER SURGERY.

>> SHE WAS THE SECOND

MRS. GINGRICH.

>> Jon: OH.

OH, IT'S THE SECOND OF HIS

THREE WIVES.

MARYANN, THE JAN BRADY OF

MRS. BEGINNING ITCHES.

THE MEAT IN HIS WIFE HOAGIE,

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK OF

HIS WIVES.

WHO IT ENDS KIND OF SAD BUT

IN RETROSPECT IS REALLY THE

BEST ONE IN SOME RESPECTS.

WELL, AT LEAST I CAN'T

IMAGINE MARYANN HAD AS BIG A

BEEF WITH THE FORMER SPEAKER

THEN AS HIS FIRST WIFE.

>> IN THE CASE OF MARYANN,

SHE JUST BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AND HE

WAS THERE AND TOLD DON'T PUT

ANY STRESS ON MARYANN,.

>> AND THEN HE ASKED FOR A

DIVORCE.

>> YES.

>> FIRST WIFE CANCER, SECOND

WIFE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS, CAN

NEWT GINGRICH BE

RECLASSIFIED AS A POLLUTANT?

OF COURSE, THE GUY IS LIKE

THE DIOXIN OF HUSBANDS.

>> WE'D BEEN MARRIED A LONG

TIME.

AND HE SAID YES, BUT YOU

WANT ME ALL TO YOURSELF.

CALISTA DOESN'T CARE WHAT I

DO.

>> WHAT WAS HE SAYING TO YOU,

DO YOU THINK?

>> HE WAS ASKING TO HAVE AN

OPEN MARRIAGE.

AND I REFUSED.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I THINK I'M GOING TO

BE SICK.

AND THEN NEWT WILL LEAVE ME.

STILL--

(APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: AS DISTURBING AS THE

OPEN MARRIAGE REVELATION IS,

THE OPEN MARRIAGE REVELATION

IS IN KEEPING WITH NEWT'S

PHILOSOPHY, HE'S A FREE

MARKET MAN, HE'S JUST

ENCOURAGING COMPETITION,

CREATIVE DESTRUCTION, PRO

CREATIVE DESTRUCTION.

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