Healthcare Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - The Bore-ax

  • Aired:  09/25/13
  •  | Views: 111,940

To express his opposition to Obamacare, Ted Cruz cites a children's book about a stubborn jerk who decides he hates something before he's tried it. (5:53)

COME ON, SENATOR TED CRUZ.

THIS ISN'T EVEN A FILIBUSTER.

YOU HAD 20 HOURS TO MAKE YOUR CASE.

YOU'RE DOUBLE IVY LEAGUE.

SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER.

MAYBE CITE A STUDY OR A BOOK.

>> DR. SUESS' GREEN EGGS AND HAM.

I DO NOT LIKE THEM, SAM I AM.

I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM.

>> Jon: SO TO EXPRESS YOUR OPPOSITION TO OBAMA CARE, YOU GO

WITH A BOOK ABOUT A STUBBORN JERK WHO DECIDES HE HATES

SOMETHING BEFORE HE'S TRIED IT?

AND WHEN HE FINALLY DOES GET A TASTE --

[CHEERS & APPLAUSE]-- HE HAS TO ADMIT AFTER TASTING

IT -- >> THIS IS PRETTY [BLEEP] GOOD.

>> Jon: SENATOR CRUZ, YOU'RE TRYING TO SAVE AMERICA.

GET TO THE DIRE FOUNDATIONAL ISSUE AT HAND.

>> DO YOU LIKE YOUR DOCTOR?

DO YOU WANT TO KEEP SEEING YOUR DOCTOR?

I'LL TELL YOU, AMERICANS ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY ARE LOSING

THEIR HEALTHCARE BECAUSE OF OBAMA CARE.

THEY'RE LOSING THEIR ABILITY TO SEE THEIR DOCTORS.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IF THE SENATE DOESN'T ACT TO DEFUND

OBAMA CARE.

>> Jon: OKAY, MAYBE THAT'S WHATHAPPENS IN OBAMACARE, AS OPPOSED

TO OUR CURRENT HEALTHCARE UTOPIAWHERE DOCTOR AND PATIENT MATE

FOR LIFE.

>> ONE HALF OF SMALL BUSINESSES SAY THEY WILL EITHER CUT HOURS

TO REDUCE FULL TIME EMPLOYEES ORREPLACE FULL TIME EMPLOYEES WITH

PART-TIME WORKERS TO AVOID THE MANDATE.

OBAMA CARE IS ESTIMATED TO HAVE INCREASED INDIVIDUAL HEALTH

INSURANCE PREMIUMS BY ANYWHERE FROM 64% TO 146%.

>> Jon: I'M NOT SAYING OBAMA CARE IS PERFECT.

IT'S NOT.

IT WAS DESIGNED BY CONGRESS.

NOTHING DESIGNED BY CONGRESS IS PERFECT.

YOU ASK THEM TO DESIGN A PUPPY, YOU'D GET SOMETHING WITH NO

FACE, TWO [BLEEP] AND A SEMIAUTOMATIC MACHINE GUN FOR

A TAIL. THAT'S FINE.

[LAUGHTER]TAKE THAT DOWN.

THAT IS REALLY DISTURBING.

DO YOU HAVE A MORE FOUNDATIONAL CRITIQUE?

>> OBAMA CARE IS THE BIGGEST JOBKILLER IN THE COUNTRY.

SMALL BUSINESSES HAVE BEEN HAMMERED UNDER OBAMA CARE UNLIKE

EVER BEFORE.

IT'S SHATTERING THE ECONOMY ALLACROSS THE COUNTRY.

>> Jon: AS OF NOW, I'M UNAWARE OF THE SPECIFIC IMPACT ON GROWTH

AND JOBS OBAMACARE HAS HAD GIVENTHAT THE

SIGN UP DOESN'T START UNTIL NEXTWEEK.

CLEARLY ECONOMIC GROWTH IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE AND SO IMPORTANT

FOR YOU THATJUST THE POSSIBILITY THAT OBAMA

CARE MAY BE HURTING THE ECONOMY IS ENOUGH TO GET YOU ON YOUR

FEET FOR 21 HOURS.

I CONGRATULATE YOU ON THAT, SIR.

BUT I CAN THINK OF ANOTHER THING THAT CAME OUT OF

WASHINGTON RECENTLY THAT IS HURTING ECONOMIC GROWTH RIGHT

NOW.

ACCORDING TO THE CONGRESSIONAL BUDGET OFFICE, THE SPENDING CUTS

FROM THE SEQUESTER ARE COSTING THE COUNTRY 3 QUARTERS OF A

MILLION JOBS THIS YEAR ALONE.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THOSE CUTS?

>> WE STOOD OUR GROUND AND FINALLY GOT AT LEAST THE FIRST

SMALL STEP, AND I UNDERSCORE IT'S A SMALL STEP, TO REIGNING

IN OUR UNCONTROLLABLE SPENDING AND DEBT.

>> Jon: OH! SO THAT SLOWDOWN FOR ECONOMIC

GROWTH IS GOOD?

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE THOUGHTREINING IN

UNCONTROLLABLE DEBT AND SPENDINGWAS A GOOD IDEA?

HITLER.

[LAUGHTER]SO YOUR PROBLEM WITH THE

SEQUESTER IS THAT IT DIDN'T COSTUS ENOUGH JOBS.

FOR ALL ITS FLAWS, OBAMA CARE APPEARS TO BE AT LEAST

ATTEMPTING TO FIX SOME HOLES IN OUR HEALTHCARE SYSTEM.

LIKE INSURANCE COMPANIES DENYINGCOVERAGE BASED ON PREEXISTING

CONDITIONS.

SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO REPEAL IT,HAVE SOME IDEA OF YOUR OWN HOW

TO DO THAT.

PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS.

HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT?

>> MY VIEW ON PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS IS WE OUGHT TO REFORM

THE MARKET TO DEAL WITH THAT PROBLEM.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: SO YOU GOT NOTHING.

YOU KNOW WHAT, TED CRUZ?

THE LEVEL OF THREAT YOU SAY WE FACE FROM OBAMA CARE ISN'T MET

BY THE QUALITY OF SOLUTION AND THE RHETORIC THAT YOU OFFER.

REMINDS ME OF A CHARACTER I ONCE READ ABOUT BY I BELIEVE ONE

OF YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS, DR. SUESS, HIS BELOVED

CHILDREN'S BOOK, THE BORE-AX.

JOIN ME NOW AS I READ A FAVORITESECTION.

[LAUGHTER]IN THE LAND OF D.C. AND THE

SENATE OF SNOOZE, LIVE THE SHOW BODIUS BLAB WHOSE NAME WAS TED

CRUZ.

TED TALKED ABOUT HEALTHCARE, COMPARED IT TO NAZIS.

AS COMPARISONS GO, HE WAS OFF BYA LOTSY.

[LAUGHTER]HEALTHCARE, HE SAID, WOULD END

THIS GREAT NATION.

A POINT MADE AFTER HOURS OF MOUTH MASTURBATION.

[APPLAUSE]REPEAL IT, DEFUND IT, ERASE IT,

DENY IT, MURDER IT, [BLEEP] IT AND BREAD AND DEEP FRY IT!

[LAUGHTER]THAT WAS WEIRD.

FOR A CHILDREN'S BOOK AUTHOR.

CRUZ CLAIMS FREEDOM AND LIBERTY,BUT IT WAS ALL A BIG SHOW

BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE SPEND ALL THAT TIME MAKING SURE THE LAW

DIDN'T BLOW.

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