Top of the GOPs

  • Aired:  01/04/11
  •  | Views: 206,182

RNC chairman candidates must name their political hero, aside from Ronald Reagan, defend marriage, and reveal how many guns they own. (8:22)

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COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WHAT A PROGRAM WE HAVE FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

WORTHY OF STANDING IN LINE IN

SUBZERO TEMPERATURES.

TICKETS ARE FREE.

[LAUGHTER]

KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND WILL BE HERE,

JUNIOR SENATOR FROM NEW YORK IS

HERE.

I CAN'T WAIT TO ASK HER ALL

ABOUT WHAT CHUCK SCHUMER IS

REALLY LIKE.

DREAMY.

[LAUGHTER]

OBVIOUSLY RIGHT BEFORE WE WENT

ON BREAK REPUBLICAN NATIONAL

COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN MICHAEL

STEELE SHOCKED THE WORLD BY

ANNOUNCING WOE SEEK REELECTION

FOR THE POST DESPITE THE FACT

THAT EVERYBODY HATES HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT IS NOT ME BEING MEAN IT'S A

FACT REPORTED ON THE NEWS.

>> I DON'T THINK THE LAST THING

YOU COULD SAY ABOUT ME IS I'M

PART OF ESTABLISHMENT HERE.

>> THAT'S TRUE.

EVERYBODY HATES YOU.

>> Jon: BOOM!

THAT IS ON THE NEWS.

FRIENDLY FIRE.

STAND DOWN CAVUTO.

IF HE WAS A DEMOCRAT THEY WOULD

PUT A QUESTION MARK AT THE END

OF IT.

EVERYBODY HATES YOU?

THEY HELD THE RNC CHAIRMAN'S

DEBATE AT WASHINGTON'S NATIONAL

PRESS CLUB.

HE WAS UP AGAINST FORMER

MICHIGAN STATE CHAIR AND FORMER

PRESIDENT OF HAIR CLUB FOR MEN

AND ANGRY LIBRARIAN MARIA ZENO

AND THE REPUBLICAN CHAIR REINSTD

PREBUS.

WHO COULD FORGET HIS CATCHY

CAMPAIGN POSTERS?

YOU CAN'T SPELL PRINCE --

[LAUGHTER]

FROM MISSOURI FORMER G.O.P.

STATE CHAIRWOMAN ANN WAGONER

DIDN'T GET THE MEMO ABOUT HOW A

REPUBLICAN WOMAN IS SUPPOSE TO

LOOK.

THAT TRAIN LEFT THE STATION IN

2008.

THESE ARE PALIN DAYS.

SLAP ON SOME BANGS, HIT UP LENS

CRAFTERS, GIVE ME SOME ZIPPLES.

BOOM!

FLAG PIN ME, BESATURDAYSEL IT.

YOU JUST GOT GRIZZLED.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

THE KEY POSITION IN THE

REPUBLICAN PARTY.

RNC CHAIR.

THE QUESTIONS WOULD HAVE AN

APPROPRIATE LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY.

>> ASIDE FROM PRESIDENT REAGAN

WHO WAS YOUR POLITICAL HERO.

>> Jon: ASIDE FROM REAGAN?

I --

[LAUGHTER]

NANCY REAGAN?

[LAUGHTER]

BRIAN REGAN, A VEGAN.

(bleep) JESUS.

IT'S JESUS.z&

[LAUGHTER]

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY PULLED THE

REAGAN CARPET OUT FROM THESE

GUYS.

HOW WILL THEY RECOVER?

>> WE GOOD TO YOU, FAVORITE

BOOK?

>> "REAGAN DIARIES."

>> Jon: BOOM!

BOOM!

[LAUGHTER]

CLASSIC PREEBUS.

YOU CAN'T SPELL NICER SUBWRITE

WITHOUT HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

SO PREEBUS.

[LAUGHTER]ç

BY THE WAY I DRIVE A PRIUS.

SO HE SCORES ON THE BOOK

QUESTION.

HOW DO THE OTHERS SCORE?

>> PROBABLY MY KITCHEN TABLE.

>> Jon: FAVORITE BOOK.

>> OH, I THOUGHT THEY SAID

FAVORITE BAR.

>> Jon: I'M NOT SURE DITCHEN

TABLE WOULD BE THE RIGHT ANSWER

FOR EITHER QUESTION.

FAVORITE BAR, YES I LIKE TO SIT

ALONE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WHERE

I EAST BREAKFAST TO GET

(bleep).

>> MICHAEL STEELE?

>> WAR AND PEACE.

>> Jon: NICE TOUCH.

I'M SURE IF I ALLOW THIS CLIP TO

PLAY OUT HE WILL IN NO WAY

UNDERCUT HIS RAPIR WITT.

>> IT'S A BAR, TOO.

>> IT'S THE BEST OF TIMES AND

THE WORST OF TIMES.

[LAUGHTER]

THANKS FOR PLAYING.

MICHAEL STEELE SAYING HIS

FAVORITE BOOK STARTS WITH A LINE

FROM THE WRONG BOOK.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BEATLES

RECORD?

I'M GOING WITH LED ZEPPELIN.

♪ WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION. ".

THE BEST PART ABOUT THE BOTCH IS

WATCHING TUCKER CARLSON'S

REACTION AS HE REALIZED WHAT

WENT DOWN.

>> IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES AND

THE WORST OF TIMES.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: HOW BADLY DOES HE WANT

TO GO -- TUCKER, TUCKER?

HEY, TUCKER, LOOK AT ME!

HEY, TUCKER --

[LAUGHTER]

I KNOW WE HAVE OUR DIFFERENCES

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, RESPECT FOR

HOLDING (bleep) TOGETHER ON

THAT ONE.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS A DEBATE.

LET'S SEE A HEALTHY EXCHANGE OF

IDEAS HERE.

>> YOU SUPPORT COMPLETELY

DEFUNDING PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> YES,.

>> YES.

>> YES.

>> DO YOU SUPPORT THE ADOPTION

THIS PARTY UNITY PLEDGE INTO THE

RULES OF REPUBLICAN PARTY?

MARIA?

>> YES.

>> YES.

>> YES.

>> YES.

>> YES.

>> CAN SARAH PALIN WIN A GENERAL

ELECTION?

>> YES,.

>> YES.

>> ABSOLUTELY, SORRY.

>> YES.

>> Jon: IT'S SO HARD TO KNOW

WHO TO VOTE FOR.

I LIKE THE GUY WHO SAID YES BUT

THE WOMAN WHO ALSO SAID YES MADE

A COMPELLING YES.

ANY QUESTIONS THAT ARE NOT JUST

CHECKING BOXES ON A TALKING

POINT QUESTIONNAIRE, AN ESSAY

QUESTION PERHAPS?

>> WHAT IS THE 30 SECOND TAKE

FOR THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE FOR

ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN.

>> Jon: ARE WEIGH EXPECTING A

GAY MARRIAGE EMERGENCY?

[LAUGHTER]

THE NIGHTMARE TICKING TIME BOMB

MAN ON MAN WEDDING SCENARIO N. A

WORLD WHERE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE

IS UNDER ASSAULT, GARY AND PETER

PLAN TO EXCHANGE VOWS.

AND ONE MAN HAS ONLY 30 SECONDS

TO STOP IT.7

[LAUGHTER]

TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE GETTING

MARRIED!

I DON'T KNOW.

PROBABLY DOWNTOWN.

[LAUGHTER]

CITY HALL, 3:00.

THAT WAS MY ONE MAN SHOW.

HALF LAUGH OF COURSE, THESE ARE

JUST PRETPUPBGTSRY AND

SUPERFICIAL QUALIFICATIONS FOR

THE RNC CHAIR.

WE KNOW HOW IT'S GOING TO GET

SETTLED.

>> HOW MANY GUNS DO YOU HAVE?

[LAUGHTER]

[WHISTLING]

NOT DO YOU SUPPORT SECOND

AMENDMENTS RIGHTS BUT HOW MANY

DO YOU PERSONALLY OWN?

I GUESS IT'S LIKE WHEN THE

DEMOCRATS ARE ASKED HOW MANY

FLAGS THEY BURNED.

>> NONE,.

>> NONE.

>> FIVE.

>> Jon: I THINK WE HAVE A

FRONT RUNNER.

>> I MAY SURPRISE Y'ALL BUT WE

GOT NEW GUNS FOR CHRISTMAS.

I THINK THERE ARE 16 IN THERE.

EVERYTHING FROM PISTOLS AND A

GLOCK TO SHOTGUNS, RIFLES --

>> Jon: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

YOUR NEW REPUBLICAN NATIONAL

COMMITTEE CHAIRWOMAN.

SAD FOOTNOTE ABOUT THE GUN SAFE

ANN GOT FOR CHRISTMAS.

THE GENTLEMAN IN THE RED SUIT

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