Democalypse 2012 - Cash of the Titans

  • Aired:  06/13/12
  •  | Views: 23,945

President Obama attends far more fundraising events than his predecessor George W. Bush, including one hosted by Vogue editor Anna Wintour. (3:37)

( THEME SONG PLAYING )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE "DAILY SHOW." I'M JON STEWART.

MAN OH, MAN OH, MAN OH, MAN.

WE HAVE A PROGRAM FOR YOU TONIGHT.

THE LOVELY MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL WILL BE JOINING US.

WE'RE VERY EXCITED ABOUT THAT ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) EXCELLENT ACTRESS.

AS YOU KNOW, PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONUX LESS THAN FIVE MONTHS AWAY, IT'S A TIME WHEN THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE REFLECT ON THE STATE OF NATION AND THE NEEDS OF ITS CITIZENRY, EXAMINE WHICH

PRESIDENT'S CANDIDATE WOULD BEST ADDRESS THESE URGENT AND CRITICAL TIME.

( LAUGHTER ).

THAT'S OUR JOB.

THEIR JOB IS TO RAISE AS MUCH ( BLEEP ) MONEY AS THEY CAN GET THEIR HANDS ON.

AND IT APPEARS THAT IS GOING TO COME DOWN TO THE WIRE.

TONIGHT...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT WAS OUR ENTIRE-- FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, THAT MAY HAVE BEEN

OUR ENTIRE GRAPHICS BUDGET FOR THE YEAR.

( LAUGHTER ).

PRESIDENT OBAMA, AS THE INCUMBENT, IN TERMS OF FUND-RAISING, APPEARS TO HAVE THE INSIDE TRACK.

>> THE PRESIDENT SHATTERING RECORDS FOR FUND-RAISING EVENTS.

HE'S HELD EMERGENCY 150 SO FAR AS PRESIDENT.

THAT'S NEARLY DOUBLE THE NUMBER GEORGE W. BUSH ATTENDED DURING HIS WHOLE FIRST TERM.

>> Jon: YEAH!

MAYBE IF OBAMA WAS RUNNING AGAINST THIS CAT...

( LAUGHTER ) HE COULD PHONE IT IN, TOO.

THAT'S JOHN KERRY BY THE WAY.

YOU REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHO THAT WAS.

YOU THOUGHT WHAT IS THAT, WOODY ALLEN, DRESSED LIKE A SPERM?

REMEMBER THAT PICTURE FROM JOHN KERRY?

( LAUGHTER ) AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO WATCHES THIS ( BLEEP ) SHOW?

( LAUGHTER ) THE PICTURE OF ME AS A SPECIAL WON'T LOOK BAD, WILL IT?

( LAUGHTER ) THIS WON'T STOP ME FROM BEING ELECTED PRESIDENT.

IT'S TRUE, JUST YESTERDAY,

PRESIDENT OBAMA ATTENDED SIX SEPARATE FUND RAISERS JUST IN THE NORTHEAST CORRIDOR.

WOULD HAVE BEEN SEVEN, BUT THAT WOULD BE A BIT MUCH, DON'T YOU THINK, SEVEN FUND RAISERS-- I

MEAN, COME ON.

HE'S THE PRESIDENT.

HE DOES NEED SOME DOWN TIME TO PLAN TOMORROW'S FUND RAISERS.

>> ACTRESS SARAH JESSICA PARKER AND "VOGUE" EDITOR HOLD AN EXCLUSIVE EVENT FOR THE

PRESIDENT'S REELECTION BID.

>> YOU KNOW THAT, THAT WAS A LITTLE DICKISH.

IT'S ANNOYING THE PRESIDENT IS DOING FUND RAISERS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT ON THE ACSENT.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T NEED TO PUT THAT ON.

THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

>> I'M ANNA WINTER AND I'M SO LUCK NEMY WORK THAT I'M ABLE TO

MEET SOME OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE WOMEN IN THE WORLD.

WOMEN LIKE SARAH JESSICA PARKER AND MICHELLE OBAMA.

THESE TWO WONDERFUL WOMEN AND I ARE HOSTING A DINNER, ALONG WITH THE PRESIDENT, IN NEW YORK CITY

TO BENEFIT THE OBAMA CAMPAIGN.

>> Jon: I TAKE IT BACK, I TAKE IT BACK.

I TAKE IT BACK, THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD IMPRESSION OF ANNA WINTER.

I HAD NO IDEA.

I'M GLAD THE PRESIDENT IS GOING TO BE WITH ANNA WINTER BECAUSE IF THERE ARE TWO THINGS THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE RELATE TO IT'S THE DEVIL AND

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