Democalypse 2012 - Please, For the Love of God, Make It Stop

  • Aired:  10/16/12
  •  | Views: 218,425

Paul Ryan stops at an Ohio homeless shelter to wash dishes specifically set aside for campaign snapshots of him selflessly washing them. (3:47)

Captioning sponsored by

COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT FILMMAKER

EUGENE JARECKI.

THE NEW MOVIE ABOUT THE WAR ON

DRUGS.

FOR THE MANY WARS AMERICA IS

CURRENTLY FIGHTING, THE ALONG

WITH THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS, WAR

ON WOMEN AND THERE'S ONE MORE --

IT WILL COME TO ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AFGHANISTAN, I THINK, I DON'T

KNOW.

CHRISTMAS IS THE BIG ONE.

OBVIOUSLY TONIGHT WAS THE SECOND

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE WHICH I

TOTALLY WATCHED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND IT'S NOT TAKING PLACE UNTIL

THREE HOURS AFTER WE TAPE THE

SHOW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MITT ROMNEY CUT

OFF OBAMA'S HAND AND THEN TOLD

HIM HE WAS HIS FATHER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

FIRST, ELECTION DAY THREE WEEKS

AWAY.

OR TO PUT THAT ANOTHER WAY, I

CANNOT BELIEVE THIS THING IS

STILL THREE WEEKS AWAY.

WE EXAMINE THE NATION'S

EMOTIONAL STATE IN THE NATION'S

NEW SEGMENT "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE

OF GOD, MAKE IT STOP."

CONTROVERSY ONCE AGAIN TONIGHT.

VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE PAUL

RYAN AT A CAMPAIGN STOP IN

GEORGIA -- KIDDING HE WAS IN

OHIO.

IS THERE ANOTHER STATE OTHER

THAN (bleep) OHIO?

NOT IN OCTOBER THERE ISN'T.

[ LAUGHTER ]

RYAN SEEN HERE IN PHOTOS HE FOR

SOME REASON SIGNED A RELEASE

FOR --

[ LAUGHTER ]

-- OR PERHAPS THESE ARE OUTTAKES

FROM HIS REAL WORLD AUDITION

TAPE.

ANYHOO HE WAS CAMPAIGNING WHEN

HE DECIDED TO VOLUNTEER AT A

HOMELESS SHELTER.

ONE LITTLE PROBLEM.

>> ACCORDING TO THE CHARITY'S

PRESIDENT THE CANDIDATE WAS

WASHING PANS THAT WERE ALREADY

CLEANED.

AND ONLY AFTER THE PATRONS HAD

LEFT THE PLACE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD

IT IS TO MAKE VOLUNTEERING AT A

HOMELESS SHELTER LOOK LIKE A

NEGATIVE THING AND HOW DEAD

INSIDE DOES A NATIONAL

PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN MAKE YOU

THAT YOU COULD BE HANDED CLEAN

DISHES AND INSTEAD OF SAYING,

YOU KNOW THESE ARE CLEAN RIGHT,

YOU GO, WHERE IS MY SCRUBBY

SPONGE.

THERE'S MORE.

>> AS WE UNDERSTAND IT NOW THERE

WERE DIRTY DISHES LEFT FOR HIM.

IT WAS ORIGINALLY REPORTED THEY

WERE CLEAN.

OUR TEAM IS REPORTING DIRTY

DISHES.

>> Jon: GREAT WORK, TEAM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WE'LL HAVE MORE ON THE STATUS OF

THESE DISHES LATER ON IN THE

PROGRAM.

APPARENTLY RYAN DID WASH DISHES

BUT THEY WERE SET ASIDE AND LEFT

UNCLEAN SPECIFICALLY SO THEY

COULD TAKE PICTURES OF HIM

SELFLESSLY WASHING SO SO THAT

WE -- BECAUSE WE'RE SO DO YOU

MEAN -- BELIEVE HE WAS CAUGHT IN

THE ACT OF VOLUNTEERING.

LATER FOOD WAS HELD FROM NURSING

HOME PATIENTS SO RYAN COULD AL

RIFF AND REANIMATE THEM THROUGH

THE MAGIC OF APPLESAUCE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

EVEN CYNICAL HELP IS HELP FOR

THE SHELTER.

>> THE HEAD OF THE FAITH-BASED

ORGANIZATION TOLD THE POST NO

POLITICIANS HAVE PERMISSION TO

STAGE EVENTS EVENTS.

HE ACCUSED THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN

OF QUOTE "RAMRODDING ITS WAY

INTO THE BUILDING."

>> Jon: YOU BROKE INTO A

HOMELESS SHELTER TO TAKE A

PICTURE OF YOU MAYBE OR MAYBE

NOT WASHING ALREADY CLEAN

DISHES?

ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO

MANIPULATE PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS

THROUGH PREFABRICATED SCENARIOS

PUT SOME OOMPH INTO IT.

THAT'S THE SOCIAL CONTRACT

BETWEEN YOU AND THE VOTERS.

IF YOU DON'T GIVE A (bleep)

ABOUT YOU THE HOMELESS GIVE A

(bleep) THAT YOU GAVE A

(bleep).

DON'T PHONE IN CYNICISM.

IT'S LIKE JOE BIDEN PUTTING A

HARD HAT AND GOGGLES AND POSING

IN FRONT OF A CHEESECAKE

FACTORY.

HE'S LIKE, (ble

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