Chicago Snubs

  • Aired:  01/25/11
  •  | Views: 109,708

John Oliver doesn't think Chicago is being too strict on Rahm Emanuel since its politicians are paragons of virtue. (6:28)

GREEN -- THAT CAUGHT EVERYONE

OFF GUARD.

WE BEGIN TONIGHT IN CHICAGO, THE

CITY OF BROAD SHOULDERS, THE

BRAWLING HOME OF GANGSTERS,

TOUGH GUYS AND FOOD THAT WOULD

KILL I MAN JUST AS SOON AS LOOK

AT HIM.

SEE THAT SANDWICH?

WE'VE GOT A NAME FOR THAT

SANDWICH IN CHICAGO, IT'S CALLED

THE LITTLE BALLERINA SANDWICH.

THEY LIKE TO EAT.

[LAUGHTER]

FOR DECADES IT WAS RULED BY THE

IRON FIST OF MAYOR J.DALEY

FOLLOWED BY HIS SON.

THIS YEAR THE SEAT IS OPEN AND

ONE CANDIDATE SEEMS UNIQUELY

CALLIFIED TO PULL THE TOMMY GUNN

FROM THE STONE AND CLAIM HIS

PLACE.

>> RAHM EMANUEL IS KNOWNÑi FOR A

TOUGH STYLE.

>> KNOWN FOR HIS TAKE NO

PRISONERS STYLE.

>> NOT AFRAID TO DROP F-BOMBS

ALONG THE WAY.

>> I GUESS WHAT THEY ARE SAYING

IS HE IS KIND OF A PRICK.

I THAT'S THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE

SAYING.

EVEN HIS COMPLAIN SLOGAN SEEMS

RIGHT FOR THE CITY AND THE TIME.

CHANGE YOU (bleep) CAN BELIEVE

IN.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHY HAVE THE ELECTION.

LET'S CALL HIM MR. MAYOR.

>> STUNNING DEVELOPMENT RAHM

EMANUEL HAS BEEN THROWN OFF THE

BATTLE.

>> THEY FOUND THE TRAIL OF

MUTILATED HENCHMEN LEFT IN THE

WAKE OF HIS LUST FOR POWER,

HUMAN PARTS EMBEDDED IN THE

FOUNDATION OF CHICAGO'S TALLEST

BUILDING.

MAYBE CONFUSING THIS WITH A

BATMAN EPISODE I SAW OR RAHM'S

BROTHER ARI.

BOOM!

I BET THEY GOT SOMETHING BAD ON

HIM.

>> THE ISSUE IS WHETHER HE MEETS

THE STATE LAW REQUIREMENT THAT

ANY CANDIDATE FOR MAYOR BE A

RESIDENT FOR A YEAR BEFORE THE

ELECTION.

>> Jon: THE CHICAGOAN.

NO, THAT'S NOT THE CHICAGO WAY.

IT'S NOT THEY BRING YOU AYOU

KNIFE YOU BRING A GUN NOT YOU

BRING A BRIEF BASED ON THE COOK

COUNTY CODE.

RAHM HAS ALWAYS LIVED IN CHICAGO

BUT HE WENT TO WORK AS THE

PRESIDENT'S CHIEF OF STAFF.

WHILE HE WAS THERE IN

WASHINGTON, D.C. HE RENTED OUT

HIS HOUSE TO PEOPLE WHO DECIDED

THAT WHEN RAHM WANTED TO COME

BACK TO RUN FOR MAYOR THEY

WOULDN'T LET HIM HAVE THE HOUSE

BACK.

BY THE WAY --

>> THE CHICAGO WAY.

>> Jon: YEAH.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T

HAVE EVIDENCE OF HIS CONTINUED

INTENT TO RESIDE IN CHICAGO.

ONE WAY HE COULD PROVE IT IS

THAT HE LEFT HIS WIFE'S WE HAD

BEGUN DRESS AT THEIR -- WEDDING

DRESS AT THEIR HOUSE.

>> THERE'S ALSO A COAT THAT MY

GRANDFATHER ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE

WHO CAME TO CHICAGO IN 1917 FROM

THE RUSSIAN ROMANIAN BORDER.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: HAY, HAY, BUD -- HEY,

HEY, BUDDY I ONCE FORGOT MY

BOOKBAG IN THE OLIVE GARDEN.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME THE MAYOR

OF ITALY.

I'M BEING TOLD ITALY DOESN'T

HAVE A MAYOR AND I DON'T HAVE A

BOOKBAG.

[LAUGHTER]

UNLIMITED PASTA, SALAD AND PAIR

GORGONZOLA RAV DEVELOPY.

YOU CAN EAT FOR $68 CENTS.

GET THE (bleep) OUT OF HERE.

THAT IS FISCALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.

[LAUGHTER]

I WONDER HOW RAHM TOOK THE NEWS.

>> ANYTHING IN THE NEWS YOU WANT

TO TALK ABOUT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: WOW.

THE ONLY THING SCARIER THAN RAHM

EMANUEL ANGRY IS RAHM EMANUEL

SMILING THROUGH HIS ANGER.

IT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE

HOW IT TOOK THE NEWS IN THE

PRIVACY OF HIS OWN HOME.

[LAUGHTER]

PUT A SHIRT ON!

FOR MORE ON THE COURT RULING AND

HIS MAYORAL BID WE GO TO JOHN

OLIVER LIVE IN CHICAGO.

JOHN, THANKS --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION: ARE

THESE RESIDENCY REQUIREMENTS TO

BYZANTINE AND STRICT?

>> NOT AT ALL, JON.

THIS IS CHICAGO.

POLITICIANS ARE STICKLERS,

PARAGONS OF VIRTUE DEMANDING

STRICT ADHERENCE TO A CODE OF

CONDUCT.

>> Jon: I THINK THINK CHICAGO

AND ILLINOIS POLITICS IN GENERAL

IS CONSIDERED THE DIRTIEST IN

THE NATION.

>> WHOA WHOA, I'LL HAVE YOU

KNOW, SIR, THAT LESS THAN 60% OF

THEIR LAST SEVEN GOVERNORS HAVE

BEEN CONVICTED OF FELONY.

LESS THAN 60%, JON!

>> Jon: THAT'S ACTUALLY FOUR

OF THE LAST SEVEN THAT'S MORE

THAN HALF.

>> THAT'S BASICALLYt( WHAT I JUST

SAID UNDER 60%.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: ROD BLAGOJEVICH, SOME

PEOPLE THINK JOHN F. KENNEDY

ONLY ONE ILLINOIS AND THE

PRESIDENCY IN 1960 BECAUSE OF

VOTES CAST BY PEOPLE IN CHICAGO

WHO WERE DECEASED.

>> HERE WE GO, JON, DEAD

CHICAGOANS FRAUDLY ELECTED

KENNEDY.

LET ME ASK YOU THIS, WHAT ABOUT

THE ALL THE FRAUD CHICAGOANS WHO

HELPED LYNDON JOHNSON PASS THE

CIVIL RIGHTS OF ACT OF 1964.

>> Jon: WHAT HAPPENED TOÑi YOUR

COAT?

>> WHAT.

>> Jon: I THINK SOMEONE STOLE

YOUR COAT.

>> DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, JON,

I'M SURE THEY'LL BRING IT BACK.

EVERYONE HERES WORKS ON AN

HORROR CODE.

>> Jon: I ADMIRE YOUR FAITH IN

THE GOODNESS OF PEOPLE BUT

CHICAGO MAY NOT BE THE PLACE TO

BE EXERCISING THAT FAITH IN

PEOPLE.

>> OKAY.

I DISAGREE, JON.

THAT IS SAY SIMPLIFICATION OF

A --

>> Jon: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR

SHIRT?

>> YEAH, JON U I GOT -- I GOT

ATTACKED.

I'M NOW ESSENTIALLY THE PROPERTY

OF THE INSANE SPANISH COBRAS.

NORTH SIDE, JON!

NORTH SIDE!

>> Jon: COME HOME.

>> I LOVE IT HERE.

THE PEOPLE ARE SO WARM EVEN

THOUGH THE CITY HERE IS SO VERY,

VERY COLD!

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