Jason Jones's Bayonne

  • Aired:  11/17/10
  •  | Views: 301,131

Join Jason Jones on the adventure of a lifetime as he explores the majesty and splendor of Bayonne, NJ. (8:31)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

A BIG ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT.

JAY-Z.

WE'RE EXCITED ABOUT.

THAT I'M NOT ANGRY, YOU JUST

WANT A TACO.

THAT WAS ANOTHER SIGN I LIKED AT

THE RALLY.

JAY-Z IS HERE BECAUSE HE'S

DROPPING A BRAND NEW -- BOOK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HE SPITS NONFICTION PROSE IS

WHAT HE SPITS.

[LAUGHTER]

AN AWFUL LOT GOING ON IN THE

WORLD.

I WON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.

LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT.

>> BRISTOL PALIN HAS SURVIVED TO

THE FINAL TWO.

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE SAYING

SHE'S GOT THEN FAR BECAUSE OF

HER MOTHER.

>> SOME BELIEVE THE ONLY REASON

SHE IS ON THE SHOW IS BECAUSE OF

TEA PARTY REPUBLICAN CONSPIRACY.

>> THIS HAD ONE MAN IN RURAL

WISCONSIN SO ANGERED HE TOOK HIS

LOADED SHOTGUN AND PUT A BULLET

IN HIS TELEVISION.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO

SAY IT'S INTERESTING BECAUSE

WHEN I WATCH DANCING WITH THE

STARS I, TOO, HAVE A LOADED

WEAPON, I NEVER THOUGHT TO POINT

IT AT THE TV.

[LAUGHTER]

I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE ARE ANGRY

THAT BRISTOL GOT FARTHER THAN

BRANDY WITH DANCING WITH THE

STARS BECAUSE BRANDY REALLY HAS

BEEN -- NO, NO.

WHO GIVES A (bleep).

IT'S BRISTOL PALIN.

S.

SHE'S NOT RUNNING FOR ANYTHING.

I'M SURE WERE A REAL HOUSEWIFE

HAS GONE OFF HER MEDS AND IS

ABOUT TO MAKE TELEVISION

HISTORY.

LET'S MOVE ON TO THE NEXT STORY.

>> WILLOW PALIN, SARAH PALIN'S

TEEN DOCTOR, TMZ GOT SCREEN

SHOTS OFF OF FACEBOOK SHOWING

WILLOW USING DBLAI SLURS SLURS TO SLAM

FACEBOOKERS SHE THOUGHT WERE

TRASHING HER FAMILY.

>> Jon: STOP MAKING ME FEEL

SYMPATHY FOR THE PALINS.

STOP IT THE 16-YEAR-OLD KID'S

FACEBOOK PAGE.

NINE-YEAR-OLD PIPER PALIN'S

HEADLESS BARBIE UP NEXT.

ACCIDENT OR PEDIATRIC RAGE

DISORDER?

KIDS ARE OFF LIMITS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE SHOULD

GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO TREAT HER

CHILDREN WITH KID GLOVES AND

RESPECT TO SHOW WE DON'T JUDGE

INDIVIDUALS AND MOCK THEM PURELY

BASED ON WHO THEIR PARENTS ARE.

WOULD THEY BECOME THE OBJECT OF

MOCKERY IF THEIR MOTHER WASN'T

SARAH PALIN.

>> HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SITUATION

WITH THE OFFICIAL SITUATION?

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> OH, SNAP, B PALIN.

>> I HOPE YOU ARE COMMITTED AS

TO SAME SEX AS THOSE ABS.

>> I RESPECT ABSTINENCE.

>>

I SAID THAT.

>> I WORRY ABOUT YOU PRACTICING

SAFE SEX.

>> I ACTUALLY PRACTICE A LOT

WAPOW MAGNUMS!

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: THIS IS VERY CLOSE TO

ENTRAPMENT.

[LAUGHTER]

BY THE WAY IF THAT GENTLEMAN

GETS YOU PREGNANT YOUR UTERUS IS

OFFICIALLY CLASSIFIED AS THE

SITUATION WOMB.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU ARE WONDERING WHY THE

SITUATION IS DRESSED LIKE HE IS

DRESSED IT'S BECAUSE THEY SHOT

THAT PSA ON THE SET OF OF HIS

NEW MOVIE SATURDAY NIGHT HERPES.

LEAVE THE PALINS OUT OF IT.

ANY NEW SHOW THAT SARAH PALIN

HERSELF HAS PARTICIPATED IN

WOULD BE FAIR GAME LIKE SARAH

PALIN'S ALASKA WHERE THE MAMA

GRIZZLY AND CHIEF SHOWS US THE

PIONEER WOMAN SHE IS.

>> THE HARDEST PART IS THE THE

FACT THAT I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.

>> I HAVE TO LEAVE MY BLACKBERRY

HERE.

SO COOL.

>> Jon: YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANY

OF THAT BEFORE.

I BET THAT BAR OF MOOSE JERKY ON

YOUR COUNTER IS STORE BOUGHT.

YOU HEARD ME, STORE BALL.

IT'S LIKE SAYING SEE MY NEW YORK

OH, MY GOD, WHO HONKED THEIR

HORN?

BUT THE SHOW'S REAL STAR IS THE

STATE OF LK LK LK WHERE

BOUNTIFUL LANDS ARE TEAMING WITH

STRAINED PALIN POLITICAL

METAPHORS.

>> JUST RELOAD.

>> SHE'S TRYING TO SHOW HER

CUBS.

NOBODY IS GOING TO DO IT FOR

YOU.

>> TODD AND HIS BUDDIES BUILT A

14 FOOT FENCE AND WE'RE THANKFUL

FOR THAT BY THE WAIRK I THOUGHT

IT WAS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF WHAT WE

DID OTHERS COULD SAY THIS IS

WHAT WE NEED TO DO TO SECURE OUR

NATION'S BORDERS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: NO OFFENSE TO YOUR

HUSBAND'S CARP -- CARPENTRY

SKILLS BUT THAT WOULDN'T KEEP

OUT RACCOONS.

>> Jon: I PRESENT TO YOU A

SNEAK PEEK AT MY PRODUCTION

COMPANIES NEWEST BABY STARRING

JASON JONES.

>> THIS SEASON JASON JONES TAKES

YOU ON AN UNFORGETTABLE JOURNEY

TO AMERICA'S LAST DITCH

FRONTIER.

>> IT'S WILD AND UNTAMED.

>> WELCOME TO JASON JONES'

BAYONNE.

>> PEOPLE KNOW ME FROM MY

READING OFF THE TELEPROMPTER OR

MY WILDLY UNPOPULAR BOOKS BUT I

WANT TO SHOW PEOPLE WHERE I

REALLY COME FROM.

MAKE IT RAIN!

REAL PEOPLE, REAL AMERICANS,

REAL CARCINOGENS.

WELCOME TO MY BAYONNE, JEWEL OF

EASTERN SEABOARD.

JOIN ME ON THE ADVENTURE OF A

LIFETIME AS WE EXPLORE THE

MAJESTY AND SPLENDOR OF THIS

TOWN THAT MAKES ME SO PROUD TO

CALL MYSELF A BAYONNEAN.

>> YOU'LL TRAVEL THE STREETS

THAT INSPIRED HIM.

THIS IS SO RARE, A DAYTIME

RUSSIAN HOOKER FIGHT.

HOW A IS THAT?

>> STAYING OUT OF -- HOW AWESOME

IS THAT?

>> STAYING OUT OF TROUBLE?

>> LEARN WHY IT'S A PLACE HE

KEEPS COMING BACK TO.

>> EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SAMANTHA

BEE AND MYSELF HAVE A GREAT

MARRIAGE BUT NOT EVERYONE KNOWS

I LEAD A DOUBLE LIFE WITH

ANOTHER FAMILY RIGHT HERE IN

BAYONNE.

>> HI, BABY.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

>> FINE, FINE.

>> MARIE, MARIA, MARIA, A BUNCH

MORE TONIES.

I'M A HAIRY DADDY BEAR

PROTECTING MY CUBS.

>> FU, IF U.

>> IF U.

HEY.

>> CONON AND MEET OLD FRIENDS.

YOU'LL STEP INTO BAYONNE'S WARM

ENBRACE AND MARVEL AT ITS

NATURAL BEAUTY.

>> CAN I SEE NEWARK FROM HERE.

>> NO, THAT'S A SEWAGE TREATMENT

PLANT.

>> GOTH GOTCHA.

>> TO -- IT'S A TOWN BUILT ON

PRIDE, RESILIENCE AND TRADITION.

[LAUGHTER]

I LOVE THIS TOWN!

I GUESS.

>> BUT NOTHING SAYS BAYONNE LIKE

SUNDAY SPAGHETTI NIGHT.

>> WHO WANTS A MEATBALL?

YOU WANT ONE, PAULIE?

>> SHUT UP.

>> SHUT UP.

SHUT UP!

>> JOIN US FOR AN AMERICAN

TELEVISION EVENT LIKE NO OTHER.

♪ IT'S MY BAYONNE ♪

♪ WITH NO FRESH AIR OR WATER IN

BAYONNE ♪

♪ ♪

♪ IT'S DISGUSTING SPHOET.

♪ ♪

♪ IT'S MY BAYONNE ♪

♪ MY BAYONNE ♪

♪ NEW JERSEY ♪

♪ PEOPLE SAY YOU DOUGHIN THE

COCAINE IS BREWING ♪

♪ THIS TOWN IS GONNA DO ♪

>> BAYONNE.

♪ BAYONNE ♪

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