Cameron Diaz

  • Aired:  06/21/11
  •  | Views: 94,265

Cameron Diaz removes Jon's stitches with blunt scissors while talking about "Bad Teacher." (7:01)

WELCOME BACK TO MY GUEST

TONIGHT, AN ACTRESS, HER NEW

FILM IS CALLED "BAD TEACHER."

>> HEY, WELCOME BACK.

A BUNCH OF US ARE GOING OUT

TONIGHT TO SEE PERIOD FIVE PLAY.

DO YOU WANT TO COME?

>> PERIOD FIVE?

>> YEAH, THE TEACHER BAND.

>> I RATHER GET SHOT IN THE

FACE.

>> HEY.

>> HEY!

>> SO ARE YOU GUYS COMING TO THE

PALACE TONIGHT.

MY BAND'S GOING TO DO A FEW

SONGS.

>> YOU'RE IN PERIOD FIVE.

>> YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE NEW

RHYTHM GUITARIST AND BACK-UP

VOCALIST.

SHOULD BE FUN.

>> SHOULD BE AMAZING.

LYNN, YOU WANT TO COME.

>> YES, YES.

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO

THE PROGRAM CAMERON DIAZ.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

HELLO, YOUNG LADY.

>> GOOD TO BE HERE.

>> Jon: NICE TO SEE YOU.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU

ON THE SHOW AGAIN.

>> IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU.

I'M ALWAYS SO HAPPY WHEN I GET

ASKED BACK TO COME.

>> Jon: WE'RE VERY EXCITED TO

HAVE YOU HERE BECAUSE THIS IS A

SPECIAL OCCASION.

>> IT IS A SPECIAL OCCASION.

>> Jon: ABOUT TWO WEEKS AGO I

HAD STITCHES IN THE WRIST.

YOU HAVE VERY GRACIOUSLY OFFERED

TO PERFORM A DESTITCHING.

>> YES, I'VE OFFERED MY SKILLS

AS A PROFESSIONAL.

>> Jon: NOW YOU ARE NOT IN ANY

WAY... YOU ARE NOT A DOCTOR?

ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

>> DEFINE IF I AM... I PLAYED A

TEACHER.

>> Jon: OKAY.

SO HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE PROMOTING

THIS MOVIE ALL AROUND,,'S GOING

TO KNOW ABOUT IT, GREAT MOVIE,

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BUT WHAT YOU

WANT TO DO HERE, THIS IS WHAT I

CALLED THE DOCTOR TODAY, AND HE

SAID THAT YOU CAN DO THIS.

HOLD ON, LET'S MOVE THIS OUT,

THERE YOU GO.

YOU SEE IT.

REALLY, THAT GROSSES YOU OUT?

YOU JUST SPENT LIKE FIVE HOURS

STANDING ON 11th AVENUE IN

NEW YORK CITY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THERE YOU GO.

NOW, YOU SAID FIRST THING YOU

WANT TO DO IS STERILIZE IT, SO

I'M ASSUMING THAT...

>> I'M GLAD YOU CALLED HIM AND

ASKED HIM BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER

HAVE STERILIZE THEM.

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE?

>> NEVER.

WHY WOULD YOU?

THEY'RE CLEAN, AREN'T THEY?

>> Jon: I GUESS TO PREVENT

TYPHOID.

>> OF COURSE YOU STERILIZE THEM.

EVERY PROFESSIONAL KNOWS THAT.

>> Jon: AS YOU'RE DOING

THIS...

>> DO YOU THINK I'VE NEVER DONE

THIS BEFORE?

>> Jon: I DO KIND OF THINK

YOU'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.

>> I HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE.

>> Jon: SO YOU ARE A DOCTOR.

>> I AM A DOCTOR.

>> Jon: WAIT, MOVE YOUR HEAD

BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT TO SEE.

>> OH, SORRY.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: DO YOU NEED TO BE ABLE

TO SEE IT WHEN YOU DO IT?

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MOVIE.

MOTHER [BLEEPED]!

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.

THE FIRST ONE IS A GOOD ONE.

>> DID IT REALLY HURT?

>> Jon: NEW YORK I WAS JUST

KIDDING.

I WAS TRYING TO CREATE LIKE

DRAMA OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> WAIT.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

WHAT ARE THESE TWEEZERS.

>> OH, I USE THOSE FOR MY

UNIBROW.

>> HOLD ON.

I GOT IT.

>> Jon: WHY ARE YOUR HANDS

SHAKING?

OKAY.

THAT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD.

OKAY.

COOL.

>> THAT'S FIRST ONE.

>> Jon: THAT'S FIRST ONE.

>> OKAY.

SO ELIZABETH, SHE'S A HORRIBLE

PERSON.

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT

ANYBODY BUT HERSELF.

>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF THESE ARE

READY TO COME OUT, TO TELL YOU

THE TRUTH.

WHO GOT THESE SCISSORS?

>> Jon: I MADE THEM.

>> YOU MADE THEM?

>> Jon: OUT OF A SCHIV I HAD.

>> THEY SHOULD BE REALLY SUPER

POINTY.

>> Jon: I KNOW.

>> MY MOUTH IS SALIVATING.

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE?

>> I'M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH I'M

SO EXCITED.

>> Jon: CAN YOU DO ME FAVOR?

CAN YOU NOT DROOL ON MY HAND

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT IS

CONSIDERED SANITARY.

>> I PROMISE I WON'T.

THIS IS FROM PRESCHOOL WHEN THEY

CUT INTO CARDBOARD, LIKE

CONSTRUCTION PAPER.

I NEED SOMETHING WITH A POINT

FOR GOD'S SAKE.

IT'S BLUPTD.

>> Jon: I DON'T HAVE A SERIES

OF SURGICAL INSTRUMENTS HERE.

>> WAIT, DIDN'T WE KNOW WE WERE

DOING THIS?

>> Jon: I DIDN'T THINK OF IT.

>> I WAS SO EXCITED.

>> Jon: I THOUGHT, WOULDN'T IT

BE FUNNY IF CAMERON CUT OUT MY

STITCHES, AND CLEARLY I WAS

WRONG.

[LAUGHTER]

SO IS THIS MOVIE...

>> ARE YOU...

>> Jon: JUST PULL IT.

>> I CAN'T PULL IT.

>> Jon: IT'S NOT COMING.

I'LL DO IT.

>> GET OUT OF HERE.

THIS IS NO SCISSOR.

THIS SCISSOR ACTUALLY DOESN'T

CUT.

>> Jon: IT'S BLUNT.

DIG IT IN THERE.

THAT'S THE WAY TO GET IT.

>> DOES ANYBODY HAVE A PAIR OF

SCISSORS ON THEM?

NO, NO, NO, DON'T PULL IT.

>> Jon: THAT'S COMING.

>> IF YOU DON'T CUT THE OTHER

END, YOU'RE GOING TO PULL THE

WHOLE LOOP AND IT'S GOING TO

TAKE THE FLESH.

>> Jon: ISN'T THIS AWESOME?

HEY, CAN I ASK YOU GUYS A

QUESTION?

>> GOT IT.

I HAD TO UNKNOT IT WITH IT.

HOLD ON.

NEXT ONE IS...

>> Jon: MAAAA.

>> I'M JUST GOING TO UNTIE

THESE.

>> Jon: WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU CAN'T UNTIE THEM.

>> NO, NO, NO, IT'S GOING TO BE

UNTIED.

>> Jon: YOUR JUST GOING TO

UNTIE THEM.

>> I'M JUST GOING TO UNTIE THEM.

>> Jon: JUST REOPEN THE WOUND.

>> NOT YET.

OH, I GOT IT.

>> Jon: OH, YEAH.

>> OH, YEAH.

>> Jon: THAT'S... OKAY.

YEAH, THAT'S NICE.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S NICE ABOUT THAT?

THAT ONE ACTUALLY REALLY HURT.

>> DID IT REALLY?

>> Jon: A LITTLE BIT.

LET ME CUT THE TOP OFF AND THEN

YOU CAN PULL THEM OUT.

SO WAIT.

TELL ME ABOUT THIS MOVIE, AND

WHY IT WAS...

>> YOU'RE REALLY BUMMING ME OUT

BECAUSE I CAN'T... THAT'S MY

JOB.

>> Jon: YEAH.

THERE'S PLENTY IN THERE FOR YOU,

TOO.

THERE YOU GO.

WAIT.

DID IT WORK.

CAN YOU PULL THAT OUT?

CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

THIS IS WHY TALK SHOWS PLAN

CONVERSATION.

>> GOT IT.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: BECAUSE AT A CERTAIN

POINT, IT REALLY IS JUST ALL

ABOUT A SURGICAL PROCEDURE.

I CLEARLY DID NOT CUT THAT ONE.

>> NO, CUT THAT ONE.

THE GREAT THING ABOUT THIS IS WE

ARE NOT... OH, GOOD JOB.

>> Jon: THANKS, BROTHER.

>> WE'RE ALMOST DONE.

WE'RE ALMOST DONE.

>> Jon: WE HAVE TO DO ONE MORE

OTHERWISE PEOPLE WILL BE LIKE,

DUDE, THROW IT ON THE WEB.

>> I'LL HOLD IT UP, YOU SNIP IT.

>> Jon: CAN I TELL YOU

SOMETHING?

I THINK THAT'S IT.

TELL ME WHEN YOUR MOVIE IS

OPENING.

>> IT'S THE 24th, ON FRIDAY.

>> Jon: TELL ME HOW AWESOME IT

IS.

OKAY.

ALMOST.

>> THE SCISSORS ARE... YOU GOT

IT.

YOU GOT IT.

YOU GOT IT.

OH.

HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

>> Jon: I CAN'T BELIEVE

THERE'S ACTUAL SUSPENSE

BUILDING.

ALL RIGHT.

PULL IT OUT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

"BAD TEACHER" OPENS ON FRIDAY.

CAMERON DIAZ.

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