You Magnificent Bastards

  • Aired:  10/11/12
  •  | Views: 44,989

Missouri would-be Senator Todd Akin weathers criticism over controversial "legitimate rape" comments with support from Reverend Stoney Shaw. (3:26)

>> JON: HEY, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW." YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S REALLY JUST SCRIBBLES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

DIRECTOR PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON IS JOINING US TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW FILM "THE MASTER" WHICH IS IN NO WAY A DEVASTATING CRITIQUE OF ANYTHING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH?

WILL THEY LEAVE US ALONE NOW?

TONIGHT, OF COURSE, WAS THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.

SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT, NOBODY SAW THIS COMING, BOTH VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES TONIGHT ON NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY CAME

OUT SIMULTANEOUSLY DURING THE DEBATE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE REAL WINNERS TONIGHT, TWO LUCKY FELLAS TO BE NAMED LATER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW, WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME TALKING ABOUT THE CHOICES FOR PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT.

SOME EXPRESS FRUSTRATION WITH LIMITED OPTIONS.

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE FOUR MEN THAT WE HAVE ARE BY FAR THE CREAM OF CROP IN WASHINGTON OR AS WE REFER IT TO THE CREAM OF CRAP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WE SALUTE THEIR DOWN TICKET BRETHREN IN A SEGMENT CALLED "YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS." WE'LL START IN MISSOURI WHERE

LUCKY SHOW ME STATERS COULD TURN TODD AKIN INTO A REPUBLICAN SENATOR.

HE HAS IDEAS FRNCH WHAT I UNDERSTAND FROM DOCTORS THAT'S REALLY RARE.

IF IT'S A LEGITIMATE RAPE, THE FEMALE BODY HAS WAYS TO TRY TO SHUT THAT WHOLE THING DOWN.

>> Jon: YEAH, THE FEMALE BODY SHUTS IT DOWN.

IF IT'S LEGITIMATE RAPE.

TODD AKIN ON THE VAGINAS MAGICAL POWERS.

YES, KIT REPEL RAPE SPERM.

IT CAN TURN ORDINARY ROCKS INTO BEAUTIFUL GEMS IN MINUTES AND THIS IS TRUE, THIS IS NEW, THE NEW UPGRADED OPERATING SYSTEM

VAGINA, TWO VAGINAS THAT PASS EACH OTHER CAN SWAP PLAYLISTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

NOW, PEOPLE ARE GOING I'VE GOT TO UPGRADE.

SINCE THE COMMENTS AKIN HAS GONE FROM AN 11 POINT LEAD TO SIX POINTS BEHIND THE INCUMBENT BUT SOME FOLKS LIKE REVEREND STONEY

SHAW ARE STICKING WITH HIM.

>> SOME OF MY FAMILY WAS, YOU KNOW, MY CHILDREN, DAD, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SUPPORT HIM, ARE YOU?

EVERYBODY IS TURNING AGAINST HIM.

I SAID, WELL THERE WAS ANOTHER GUY EVERYBODY TURNED AGAINST.

>> Jon: JERRY SANDUSKY?

NO.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BILL BUCKNER?

[ LAUGHTER ]

AMERICAN IDOL AS SANJAYA.

>> THERE WAS ANOTHER GUY EVERYBODY TURNED AGAINST JESUS CHRIST BUT HE PREVAILED.

♪ ♪

>> Jon: SORRY I'M GETTING A CALL HOLD ON.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH, HEY, HEY, JESUS, YEAH I HEARD IT.

I THINK IT'S RIDICULOUS, TOO, THAT YOU JESUS ARE COMPARED TO TODD AKIN.

DON'T BE INSECURE YOU ARE THE KING OF KICK, MY FRIEND.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

SEE YOU SUNDAY IN TEBOW'S SPOT.

ALL RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HERE IS THE THING -- AKIN COULD STILL WIN THIS THING BUT EVEN IF HE DOES IT WOULD SAY A LOT LESS ABOUT

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