Shutstorm 2013: America Sits on Its Balls - Republican Shutdown

  • Aired:  10/02/13
  •  | Views: 205,146

John Oliver explains the electorally invincible strategy behind unpopular Congressional actions. (6:09)

MORE GALLING THAN THE HOUSEREPUBLICANS MISPLACED ILL

PRIORITIZED OUTRAGE IS THEIRINSISTENCE THAT THE

PARTY THAT HAS RUN FOR THE LAST 40 YEARS OR SO ON THE IDEA THAT

GOVERNMENT IS THE ENEMY IS SADDENED TO SEE THE GOVERNMENT

CRIPPLED LIKE THIS.

>> I DIDN'T COME HERE TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT.

>> IT'S CLEAR THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA AND HARRY REID WOULD

RATHER SHUT THE GOVERNMENT DOWN.

>>FOR THEM TO SAY THAT THIS IS AREPUBLICAN SHUTDOWN

IS UNBELIEVABLE.

>> WE WANT THE GOVERNMENT OPEN.

>> WE DON'T WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO SHUT DOWN.

THAT NARRATIVE IS FALSE.

>> IT'S ONLY THE DEMOCRATS THAT TALK ABOUT WANTING TO SHUT DOWN

THE GOVERNMENT.

>> [BLEEP]! I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

[APPLAUSE]I'M SORRY.

I APOLOGIZE.

I MEANT TO SAY BULL [BLEEP].

[LAUGHTER]WHEN, WHEN DID THE BIG

GOVERNMENT DEMOCRATS BECOME THE NO-GOVERNMENT DEMOCRATS?

YOU -- [LAUGHTER]

SELF-RIGHTEOUS ZEBRA QUEEFS.

[LAUGHTER]YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF SCORE THAT

WOULD GET ME IN SCRABBLE?

ZEBRA QUEEFS.

SIX WEEKS AGO, THERE WAS A LETTER THAT FLOATED THE IDEA OF

USING TO PARAPHRASE JAMES MADISON, THE POWER OF THE PURSE

AS A WEAPON TO REDRESS GRIEVANCES.

LAYING OUT A PLAN TO DEFUND THE IMPLEMENTATION AND ENFORCEMENT

OF OBAMA CARE IN ANY CONTINUING APPROPRIATIONS BILL.

ESSENTIALLY SAYING, IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR BELOVED PANDA

CAM AGAIN, YOU WILL LOSE IT.

THAT WAS SIGNED BY 80 HOUSE REPUBLICANS.

IT'S THE MOST OBVIOUS GIVE AWAY OF WHAT THEY WERE PLANNING SINCE

THE GUY ON PRISON BREAK SHOWED UP IN JAIL WITH A MAP OF THE

JAIL TATTOOED ON HIM.

WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING?

[LAUGHTER]SO ENOUGH.

[APPLAUSE]ENOUGH PRETENDING.

STOP TRYING TO PHOTO-OP YOUR WAYOUT OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS

[BLEEP]. >> ALL OF US HERE SITTING AT A

TABLE WAITING FOR THE SENATE DEMOCRATS TO JOIN US SO WE CAN

BEGIN TO RESOLVE OUR DIFFERENCES.

>> Jon: I MEAN, LOOK AT THESE GUYS.

THEY LOOK LIKE A FOCUS GROUP FORA HIGH FIBER BREAKFAST CEREAL.

[LAUGHTER]I'M KIDDING.

ACTUALLY THAT GROUP LOOKS LIKE THE REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL

COMMITTEE FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH ISSUES.

[LAUGHTER]BY THE WAY --

[APPLAUSE]WHAT WAS THIS MEETING THREE

YEARS AGO?

WHEN YOU SAT DOWN WITH THE PRESIDENT TO HASH OUT YOUR

DIFFERENCES.

I CAN'T TELL IF YOU -- IN FLEXIBLE GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICA

THAT NEVER EXISTED FETISHIZING ZEBRA QUEEFS -- I'M GOING TO

REUSE ZEBRA QUEEFS -- I CAN'T TELL IF THEY'RE DUMB OR

THINK WE ARE.

SO TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, WE HAVE JOHN OLIVER JOINING US.

[CHEERS & APPLAUSE]>> THESE GUYS WERE CLAMORING

MONTHS AND MONTHS WE'RE GOING TODEFUND OBAMA CARE OR NOT FUND

THE BUDGET.

NOW THEY'RE SAYING WHAT?

WE DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

THEY THINK WE'RE STUPID.

ARE THEY STUPID?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> IT'S QUITE SIMPLE.

THEY THINK YOU'RE STUPID.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> AND NOT YOU, EVERYBODY. >> Jon: BUT THESE GUYS ARE

RISKING A TREMENDOUS BACKLASH. >> LET ME CORRECT YOU THERE.

ACTUALLY RISKING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

LOOK, CONGRESS ALREADY HAS A 90%INCUMBENCY RATE THAT GOES ALONG

WITH A 10% APPROVAL RATING.

THE ONLY PREVIOUS INSTANCE OF THAT LEVEL OF DISAPPROVAL

COMBINED WITH THAT LEVEL OF MARKET RETENTION IS TIME-WARNER

CABLE.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: WOW.

>> THAT'S THE ONLY ON-RECORD INSTANCE.

>> Jon: YOU'RE SAYING, IF I'M HEARING YOU CORRECTLY, YOU'RE

SAYING CONGRESS IS THE TIME-WARNER CABLE OF DEMOCRACY?

>> I KNOW THAT'S INCREDIBLY HARSH.

>> Jon: YES. >> BUT IT'S ALSO INCREDIBLY

FAIR.

BUT THROUGH THE TIME-HONORED TRADITION OF ELECTORAL

CORRUPTION AND GERRYMANDERINGTHESE GUYS ARE INVINCIBLE.

LET ME PROVE IT TO YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?

>> Jon: WOW.

>> GO AHEAD. >> Jon: I'M GOING TO SAY A WITCH

BEING ELECTROCUTED INSIDE A BAT'S VAGINA.

>> YOU'RE CLOSE.

IT'S LOUISIANA'S SIXTH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT.

OBVIOUSLY IT MAKES NO PHYSICAL SENSE.

WHEN IT WAS REDRAWN IN 2010, THEWHITE MAJORITY INCREASED FROM 60

TO 74% TAKING IT FROM REPUBLICANTO TURBO REPUBLICAN.

AND IS REPRESENTED BY BILL CASSIDY, ONE OF THE 80 REPS THAT

SIGNED THAT LETTER AND WHO WON IN 2012 WITH A SADDAM

HUSSEIN-LIKE NEARLY 70% MARGIN OF VICTORY.

HE'S JUST ONE OF CONGRESS' NEW DANGEROUS BREED OF SUPER

INCUMBENTS. >> Jon: EVEN IF HIS ACTIONS ARE

UNPOPULAR AT A NATIONAL LEVEL, HE PAYS NO PRICE ELECTORALLY?

>> NO.

HE'S AN ELECTORAL X MAN.

HE CAN SHOOT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT, REFUSE TO RAISE THE

DEBTCEILING, POISON A BASKET OF

KITTENS IN FRONT OF ANOTHER BASKET OF KITTENS SO LONG AS

OBAMA DIDN'T DO IT AND HE WOULD BE FINE.

>> Jon: THIS IS -- I THINK -- >> WHAT?

>> Jon: OUR ONLY HOPE -- AND I SAY THIS --

>> I WANT TO HEAR IT. >> Jon: ENOUGH OF THE REMAINING

REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN.

SACK UP AND COMBINE WITH ENOUGH DEMOCRATS TO GO AGAINST THESE

MUTANTS AND ELECTORALLY WIPE THEM OUT FOR GOOD FOR THE GOOD

OF OUR REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY.

THAT'S OUR ONLY HOPE.

>> UH-HUH.

[LAUGHTER][APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: JOHN OLIVER, EVERYBODY

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