Why? - CNN's Branded News Segments

  • Aired:  04/10/12
  •  | Views: 46,641

Rick Santorum drops out of the presidential race, and CNN experiments with branded news segments within the news. (7:41)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY SAME IN JON STEWART.

OH, DOCTOR MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

OH, OUR PROGRAM TONIGHT -- YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT.

MY GUEST SPACEX C.E.O. ELON MUSK.

HAS HIS OWN ROCKETS.

WHETHER THEY ARE TIPPED WITH LASERS, I DO NOT KNOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BEFORE WE GET STARTED, BUSINESS NEWS AFTER THE TOP.

♪ ♪

>> BREAKING NEWS ON RICK SANTORUM DROPPING OUT --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: SURE THAT'S -- I'M STUCK WITH THE SANTORUM DROPPING

OUT -- WELL I CAN'T DO THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.

NOT JUST BECAUSE OF MORAL ISSUE BUT WE SHREDDED ALL OF THEM FOR GOD SAKES.

WORD OF HIS DEPARTURE CAME IN THE FORM OF JUST IN, STANDARD MODIFIER WHICH DISCONTINUING

WISHES IN A TEMPORAL SENSE JUST IN NEWS FROM REGULAR STALE, RUN OF THE MILL NEWS.

IT'S THE ONLY NEWS MODIFIER YOU NEED JUST TEMPORAL STUFF.

RECENTLY CNN WOULD DISAGREE.

>> TIME NOW FOR THE POLITICAL POP.

>> TIME NOW FOR THE CNN POLITICAL GUT CHECK.

>> THIS TIME NEW FOR NO TALKING POINTS.

>> CHECKING STORIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY NOW.

>> TIME FOR POLITICS UPDATE.

TIME FOR R ANDR NOT REST AND RELAXATION BUT REYNOLDS AND RANDY TIME.

>> Jon: THEY BELIEVE THE KEY IS CREATING BRANDED NEWS SEGMENTS WITHIN THE NEWS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR NEW SEGMENT: WHY?

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR DAILY 11:23 A.M. PLT POLITICAL POP IS APPOINTMENT VIEWING?

SHUT UP I'M GOING TO MISS R AND R.

MOST OF YOUR SEGMENT TITLES HAVE NO BEARING ON THE CONTENT WITHIN THE SEGMENTth TIME FOR STORIES

MAKING NEWS AT STREET LEVEL NOW.

>> Jon: THAT'S A GREAT SEGMENT.

IT'S THE EASIEST SEGMENT THERE COULD BE.

IT AIN'T FOR PEOPLE LIVING IN HIGH RISES OR MOLE PEOPLE THIS SAY ROUND UP OF (bleep)

HAPPENING ON THE STREET.

SO THE STREET LEVEL SEGMENT CONSISTS OF A CRIME STORY, FOOD SAFETY, PUPPIES AND THEN FOR

SOME REASON --

>> THE WOMAN IN THE WHEELCHAIR IS A PARAPLEGIC AND WENT BUNNINGEE JUMPING OFF A BRIDGE

IN WHISTLER.

THE GROUP THAT ORGANIZED IT,

NINE LIVES ADVENTURES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: TWO THINGS -- TWO THINGS -- TWO THINGS.

NUMBER ONE, HOLY CRAP DID THEY JUST THROW A DISABLED LADY OFF A BRIDGE?

AND NUMBER TWO, THAT STORY DID NOT TAKE PLACE AT STREET LEVEL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

TOOK PLACE FAR BELOW STREET LEVEL AND CAME BACK UP TOWARDS IT AND FAR BELOW IT -- DID YOU

THROW THAT INTO THE STREET LEVEL SEGMENT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO BRAND IT?

HOW ABOUT A SEGMENT CALLED HOLY (bleep) THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL THAT LADY IN THE WHEELCHAIR.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LOOK, I'M NOT AGAINST NEWS ORGANIZATIONS HAVING FUN.

HAVING MORE CHEEKY, PLAYFUL SEGMENTS.

KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.

>> TODAY IN WHAT WE CALL FACE TIME.

TELL ME WHAT THESE FACES HAVE IN COMMON.

THERE THEY ARE HARRY REID, GLENN BECK, GLADYS THE BADDEST KNIGHT AND MITT ROMNEY.

HERE WE ARE, THEY ARE MORMONS.

>> Jon: OH, I WOULD HAVE SAID MOST OF THEM USED TO BE PIPS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT IT'S CUTE.

IT'S CLEVER.

AS LONG AS THE FACETIME TITLE ISN'T RANDOMLY MISAEMPLOYED.

>> MY MONEY, MY CHOICE, MY MEINEKE.

>> A U.S. SOLDIER IS ABUSED OF GOING HOUSE TO HOUSE ACCUSED OF 16 AFGHAN WOMEN AND CHILDREN.

>> Jon: HOW THE INTLEEP THAT FACETIME AND NOT HORRIFIED FACETIME?

THE ONLY WAY IT'S FACETIME IS IF THIS IS THE FACE THEY WERE GOING FOR.

WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THE SEGMENTS YOU HAVE TO AMY EDITORIAL DISCRETION WHEN YOU USE THEM.

LIKE THE ROCK STAR OF THE DAY.

>> 12 YEARS OLD AND MAKING SKATE BOARDING HISTORY.

THAT MOVE, RIGHT THERE, TOM MAKES YOU OUR ROCK STAR.

>> Jon: RIGHT ON CNN 12-YEAR-OLD POPPING SKATEBOARD MOVES KICKING IT ROCK STAR STYLE.

WHAT DO WE HAVE TOMORROW?

>> WE'VE DONE TOO MANY CHILD ABDUCTION STORIES TO KNOW TOO MANY END TRAGICALLY.

>> Jon: STOP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> BUT NOT FOR NINE-YEAR-OLD CHRISTA CORDOVA.

HER KIDNAPPER DIDN'T REALIZE WHO WAS MESSING WITH.

POLICE SAY WHEN HIS TRUCK BROKE DOWN SHE MADE HER MOVE, CALLED 911 AND REFUSED TO LEAVE THE STORE.

FOR THAT YOU ARE TODAY'S ROCK STAR.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: TAKE THAT, KIDS WHO DIDN'T GET AWAY FROM THEIR ABDUCTORS.

I MEAN, COME ON, MAN!

TRY AGAIN.

>> WE WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TOLL REMEMBER REVEREND MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

>> Jon: STOP, YOU DON'T NEED TO --

>> TO SAY HE CHANGED HISTORY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

FOR THAT AND SO MUCH MORE, DR.

KING, WE HONOR YOU AS TODAY'S ROCK STAR.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: THAT IS (bleep) UP.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT A DEMOTION ROCK STAR IS FOR DR.

KING?

CONGRATULATIONS DR. KING YOU'VE EARNED YOUR SEAT NEXT TO BILLY IDOL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BY THE WAY, WHEN DID CNN GET INTO THE MEAN GIRL BUSINESS?

>> YOU SHOULD GROW UP, BE A DAD.

BOBBY BROWN YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP.

OCTOMOM YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP.

ROSIE, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?

YOU USED TO BE SO FUNNY,

ENERGETIC -- YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP MY FRIEND.

>> Jon: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ROSIE?

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO CRN N.

20 YEARS AGO YOU WERE THE ONLY NETWORK BRAVELY REPORTING FROM IRAQ.

NOW YOU ARE JUST A FIFTH YEAR SENIOR --

>> YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP.

>> FACIAL HAIR YOU YOU HAD A GOOD RUN BUT I GUESS WE CAN SAY YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP.

>> Jon: FACIAL HAIR?

YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP FACIAL HAIR?

FACIAL SHARE NOT A PASSING ANDY WAR HOL TREND.

COMPARED TO BEARDS, FIRE IS A HIP NEW THING.

BEARDS HAVE BEEN AROUND SINCE OCTO LAPIIPAKISS.

SORRY OPEN FLAME, WE

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