Herman Cain: An American Presidency - Chinese Debt Crisis

  • Aired:  10/02/12
  •  | Views: 23,604

John Oliver asks would-be president Herman Cain to convince China that the United States will make good on its $1.5 trillion debt. (3:13)

>> Jon: ON NOVEMBER 6, AMERICANS WILL GO TO THE POLLS TO CHOOSE EITHER BARACK OBAMA OR MILTON ROMNEY AS OUR NEXT PRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER) BUT WHAT IF-- WHAT IF-- IT HAD BEEN CAIN?

(LAUGHTER) JOHN OLIVER HAS MORE IN THIS CONTINUING SERIES.

>> IN OCTOBER OF 2011, HERMAN CAIN LED THE POLLS FOR THE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION.

TRAGICALLY, AMERICA WAS DENIED A HERMAN CAIN PRESIDENCY, BUT RECENTLY I SAT DOWN WITH MR. CAIN FOR A SERIES OF

CONVERSATIONS TO EXPLORE SOME OF THE TOUGH DECISIONS HE WOULD HAVE FACED IN OFFICE.

TONIGHT, CHINA.

>> WE CURRENTLY OWE CHINA APPROXIMATELY $1.5 TRILLION.

>> HOLY (BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER)

>> YES, THAT'S A PROBLEM.

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE SHOULD NOT ONLY BE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS AMOUNT OF DEBT, THEY SHOULD BE FRIGHTENED BECAUSE OF THIS

AMOUNT OF DEBT.

>> THEY SHOULD BE BAT (BLEEP) TERRIFIED.

>> ABSOLUTELY B.S. TERRIFIED.

>> SHOULD WE AT LEAST BE LEARNING CHINESE AT THIS POINT, MR. PRESIDENT?

TRY THIS, NI HOA.

>> YOU MIGHT OFFEND THEM IF YOU ONLY NO ONE WORD.

>> WELL, TRY THIS ONE.

(SPEAKING CHINESE)

>> (SPEAKING CHINESE) NOW WHAT IS THAT?

>> THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT CHINESE, THAT'S JUST SOME NOISES THAT SOUND LIKE CHINESE BUT THE POINT

IS IF WE START LEARNING THOSE FIRST THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY GET US SOMEWHERE.

>> I DON'T THINK THEY CARE IF WE LEARN CHINESE OR NOT.

THEY ONLY CARE IF WE ARE ABLE TO PAY BACK THE DEBT THAT WE OWE THEM.

>> THE CRISIS.

MR. PRESIDENT, CHINA IS DEMANDING THAT THE U.S. PAY BACK ITS DEBT IN FULL IMMEDIATELY.

FAILURE TO DO SO WILL BRING ON FINANCIAL APOCALYPSE.

YOU NEED TO LOOK INTO THAT CAMERA AND CONVINCE THE PEOPLE OF CHINA THAT WE ARE GOOD TO PAY BACK THAT DEBT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> WHY YOU GOTTA PLAY ME LIKE THAT, CHINA?

(LAUGHTER) WHEN YOU LOANED THAT MONEY TO MY PREDECESSORS DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE GOING TO GET IT BACK?

I WILL PAY YOU BACK BECAUSE I'M A MAN OF HONOR.

>> Jon:.

>> CHINA'S NOT BUDGETING BUT WE HAVE JUST HAD THE RESULTS BACK FROM YOUR LATEST PRESIDENTIAL PHYSICAL AND IT TURNS OUT YOU

HAVE TELEPATHIC POWERS.

LOOK INTO THAT CAMERA AND CONVINCE THE CHINESE THAT THEY NEED TO STEP DOWN.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> IT'S YOUR MOVE.

>> Jon: NEXT TIME ON "HERMAN CAIN, AN AMERICAN PRESIDENCY," SCIENCE.

>> HERMAN CAIN AIN'T NO CLONE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> JOHN OLIVER, WE'LL BE RIGHT

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