Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear Announcement

  • Aired:  10/14/10
  •  | Views: 384,945

Oprah Winfrey shows her support for Jon and Stephen's Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear with a gift for the audience. (10:29)

>> Jon: HELLO, WELCOME TO "THE

DAILY SHOW".

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN AUTHOR OF

SOME RENOWN -- YOU ARE VERY KIND

OF ONE OF OUR FAVORITE GUESTS

AUTHOR DAVID RAKOFF IS HERE TO

TALK ABOUT HIS BOOK "HALF EMPTY.

THE TITLE IS HALF EMPTY BUT THE

BOOK IS FULL OF FUN.

THAT'S THE BLUSH THEY REFUSED TO

USE.

NOT FAR FROM THE RALLY AND NO

IDEA WHAT TO WEAR.

CHRISTINE O'DONNELL FINALLY GOT

A CHANCE TO PUT THE MASTERBATION

AND WITCHCRAFT TOPICS AWAY AND

GET DOWN TO WHAT VOTERS IN

DELAWARE CARE ABOUT.

>> YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT

THE COMMENTS YOU MADE YEARS AGO

ABOUT WITCHCRAFT IN STUFF LIKE

THAT BUT IN THIS COMMERCIAL

WIDELY SEEN YOU BEGIN THE

COMMERCIAL WITH THE WORDS I AM

NOT A WITCH.

>> WHAT WERE WITH YOU THINKING?

>> TO PUT IT TO REST.

>> DIDN'T YOU REALIZE IT WOULD

REVIVE IT AND EVERYBODY WOULD WE

TALKING ABOUT THAT?

>> Jon: HEY, HEY, TAKE IT DOWN

A NOTCH WHITE BEARD.

YOU ARE A STAFF AND A CLOAK AWAY

FROM GETTING TENURE AT HOGWARTS,

BUDDY.

SERIOUSLY.

I MEAN WOLF BLITZER.

J.K. ROWLING WISHES THEY THOUGHT

OF THAT NAME.

>> BRAVO!

BRAVO!

RAPIR WITT AS ALWAYS.

>> Jon: WHO SAID THAT.

>> Stephen: I SAID THAT.

FOR BEHOLD IT IS I, STEPHEN

COLBERT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: STEPHEN HOW DID YOU --

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

>> JON, I AM A WITCH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: YOU'RE A DUDE,

WOULDN'T YOU BE A WARLOCK?

>> SILENCE!

>> Jon: I THOUGHT A WITCH WAS

A WELL AND A WARLOCK.

CAN I HELP WITH YOU ANYTHING?

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE HOST IS

HERE.

>> Stephen: MAY I SIT?

>> Jon: SURE, YOU MAY.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: CHAIR, CHAIR,

CHAIR ME.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT ON EARTH -- WINE SPEULTS

SPRITZER DOWN THERE?

I HAVE A MAXI FRIDGE.

>> Jon: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?

>> Stephen: WANT, JON?

CAN'T A FRIEND STOP BY ANOTHER

FRIEND'S SHOW DURING THE TAPE OF

SAID FRIEND'S SHOW WITHOUT THERE

HAVING TO BE A REASON?

PLEASE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU DIDN'T GET A RALLY

PERMIT, DID YOU?

YOU DIDN'T GET A PERMIT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: JON, I'M AN

AMERICAN CITIZEN.

I SHOULDN'T NEED A PERMIT.

I PAY TAXES.

NATIONAL MALL IS MY BACKYARD.

WOULD I NEED A PERMIT TO HELD A

100,000 PERSON GETTOGETHER IN MY

BACKYARD?

YONCH I WOULD THINK YOU WOULD

NEED A PERMIT FOR THAT IN ANY

NEIGHBORHOOD ACROSS THE COUNTRY

YOU WOULD NEED THAT.

>>

>> Stephen: I DON'T HAVE ONE.

CAN YOU ADD ME TO YOUR PERMIT?

>> Jon: WE'VE DONE A LOT OF

WORK HERE.

WE HAVE A STAGE.

WE HAVE A BIG SHOW PLANNED.

WE HAVE GUESTS.

>> Stephen: I'VE BEEN

LISTENING TO YOUR MESSAGE,

MISTER, ABOUT SANITY.

WE HAVE TWO PEOPLE DOING GREAT

RALLIES ON THE SAME DAY IN

WASHINGTON, D.C.

WOULDN'T IT BE THE MOST

REASONABLE THING FOR US TO

COMBINE OUR RESOURCES AND PUT

TOGETHER ONE AMAZING RALLY.

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: JON, JON --

>> Jon: THIS IS HIGHLY --

>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT TO WALK

THE WALK.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

THIS IS OUR RALLY PERMIT.

I GUESS.

[LAUGHTER]

SAYS RIGHT HERE NATIONAL MALL

PERMIT RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY.

I CAN'T IMAGINE YOU COULD FAKE

ONE OF THESE.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M GOING TO PUT YOUR NAME IN.

I'M GOING TO HANDWRITE YOUR NAME

IN BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S HOW IT

WORKS.

WHILE I'M HERE I MIGHT AS WELL

ADD MINE.

>> Stephen: JON.

>> Jon: IT'S DOWN STAOERPBLGTS

JON, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: STOP IT.

>> Stephen: CAN I SEE THAT.

I WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.

THAT IS GREAT.

AH-HA!

YOU MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF

YOUR LIFE JON STEWART OR SHOULD

I SAY NEV,IL CHAMBERLAIN.

>> Jon: IF I'M NEVIL

CHAMBERLAIN THEN YOU --

>> Stephen: SILENCE.

YOU TOOK IN THE TROJAN HORSE.

I'M GOING TO RAISE MY TROJAN

TAIL AND TICK A HUGE TROJAN.

>> Jon: I GET IT.

>> Stephen: I SAW UNTO YOU ON

OCTOBER 30 COME ONE COME ONE TO

THE RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY AND

OR FEAR!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: HOW DID YOU ALREADY

MAKE A POSTER.

WE ALREADY HAVE A POSTER.

>> Jon: WE'RE JOINING

TOGETHER.

>> Stephen: YES, JON.

I THINK I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY

POCKET.

IT'S YOUR MOJO, I TOOK IT.

HMMMM MOJO.

MOJO.

>> Jon: GIVE IT BACK.

GIVE ME BACK MY MOW JOE.

>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU GOING

TO DO CRY TO YOUR MOMMY.

>> Jon: YOU WISH I WOULD CRY

TO MY MOMMY.

YOU'VE DONE IT NOW, MISTER, YOU

ARE GOING TO PAY.

>> STEPHEN, HI, STEPHEN --

>> Stephen: YES, YES!

>> Jon: HELLO?

>> STEPHEN COLBERT --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HI, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: IS SHE RIGHT

BEHIND ME.

>> Jon: HI OPRAH IT'S NICE TO

SEE YOU.

STEVEN STOLE MY MOJO.

>> I SAW THAT I GOT SOMETHING

FOR YOU, TOO, STEPHEN.

JON, REMEMBER YOU WERE ON ON MY

SHOW.

>> Jon: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE YOU.

>> I LOVED.

THAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW I

WAS TAKING MY AUDIENCE TO

AUSTRALIA.

>> Jon: I REMEMBER THAT.

>> YOU SAID YOUR AIDANCE NEVER

GETS ANYTHING.

>> Jon: WELL, THE TICKETS ARE

FREE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT IS SOMETHING.

>> WHEN I HEARD THAT, THAT MADE

ME FEEL JUST A LITTLE BIT SAD.

>> Jon: OH, REALLY.

>> I KNOW THAT YOU'VE GOT THIS

HUGE EVENT COMING UP.

>> Jon: A RALLY.

>> AND I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT

IT BECAUSE I THINK THAT WE NEED

A LITTLE BIT MORE SANITY IN THE

WORLD.

>> Jon: IT WOULD BE NICE.

IT WOULD BE NICE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: I'M NOT BUYING IT.

I'M NOT BUYING IT.

>> I'M NOT FOR THE FEAR PART BUT

THE SANITY PART.

I WANTED TO SHOW MY SUPPORT FOR

YOU, JON, AND ALSO FOR YOUR

AUDIENCE.

>> Jon: VERY KIND OF YOU.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

FOR YOUR AUDIENCE --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

-- SO HERE IS WHAT I DID, I HAD

MY STAFF SNEAK INTO YOUR STUDIO

EARLY THIS MORNING WITH A LITTLE

GIFT.

OKAY?

>> Jon: CAN I TELL WHAT YOU IS

WEIRD ABOUT THAT?

WE HAVE NO SECURITY HERE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: HOSE HOW I GOT --

THAT'S HOW I GOT IN.

>> Jon: WHAT DID YOU GET THEM?

MAY I --

>> THIS IS IT, "THE DAILY SHOW"

AUDIENCE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS!

>> Jon: LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS.

WHO IS UNDER THERE?

[SCREAMING]

YOU ARE GOING TO THE RALLY.

YOU'RE GOING TO THE RALLY.

YOU'RE GOING TO THE RALLY.

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO THE RALLY!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW GET OUT THERE AND RESTORE

SOME SANITY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: THANK YOU OPRAH.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, OPRAH.

>> Jon: THANK YOU, BYE, BYE

THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: I HAVE TO SAY,

YOUR RALLY --

[LAUGHTER]

I MUST SAY, JON, JUST FOR THE

RECORD YOUR RALLY IS SUPPOSED TO

BE ABOUT SANITY AND THAT WAS

INSANE.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: THAT'S INSANE FOR

NORMAL PEOPLE.

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING THAT IS

NOT INSANE FOR OPRAH.

OPRAH COULD HAVE BUILT THESE

PEOPLE AN ARK, FLOODED THE

ENTIRE NORTHEAST CORRIDOR AND

RODE INNED THEM TO THE RALLY.

>> Stephen: SHE CAN DO THAT?

>> Jon: SHE HAS HER OWN

NETWORK OF ANGELS.

STEPHEN COLBERT AND ME OCTOBER

30, NATIONAL MALL, RALLY TO

RESTORE SANITY AND OR FEAR.

>> Stephen: LET'S DO THIS!

BOOM!

>> Jon: AND --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: AND -- SEE YOU

THERE, JON.

>> Jon: SEE YOU THERE.

>> Stephen: I'M OFF!

[LAUGHTER]

I'M OFF!

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: AH, STEPHEN, ACTUALLY

THE GREEN SCREEN IS TURNED OFF,

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