Democalypse 2014 - Literal Democalypse Edition

  • Aired:  06/04/14
  •  | Views: 28,046

A former hog farmer wins the Iowa primary, and Syria re-elects Bashar al-Assad in a supposedly democratic election. (4:11)

>> JON: WELCOME TO "THE DAILYSHOW" MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD ONE FOR YOUTONIGHT. WE HAVE PREPARED A

PROGRAM MY GUEST TONIGHT,EGYPTIAN JOURNALIST

AND ACTIVIST GIGI IBRAHIMWILL BE HERE.

WE WILL TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUTTHE SITUATION IN EGYPT.

AS YOU KNOW, THEY RECENTLYHAD AN ELECTION THERE

WHERE EGYPTIANS TOOK TO THEPOLLS TO USHER IN A NEW ERA OF

DEMOCRATIC POLITICAL CHANGE.

THEY SWEPT OUT THE MILITARY COUPCOMMANDANT ABDEL FATTAH EL-SISI

THEY SWEPT OUT THE MILITARY COUPCOMMANDANT ABDEL FATTAH EL-SISI

AND REPLACED HIM WITHDEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED PRESIDENT

ABDEL FATTAH EL-SISI. WELL,THAT'S WEIRD. THE STRONG MAN

THEY'RE THROWING OUT OF OFFICEHAS THE SAME NAME AND FACE

AS THE NEW PRESIDENT. PERHAPSTHAT WILL BE MY FIRST QUESTION

TO GIGI. OF COURSE, EGYPT RIGHTNOW IS JUST A NUBILE, YOUNG

DEMOCRACY MERELY TOYINGWITH THE LEVERS OF SELF

DETERMINATION TO ENJOY THESOPHISTICATED AND MATURE BOUQUET

OF REPRESENTATION YOU MUSTTURN TO THESE UNITED STATES

WHERE, FOR INSTANCEIN LAST NIGHT'S IOWA REPUBLICAN

SENATE RACE OUR HIGH MINDEDRHETORIC WAS SECOND TO NONE.

>> I'M JONI ERNST.

I GREW UP CASTRATING HOGS ON ANIOWA FARM.

>> JON: AS OUR FOUNDINGFATHERS INTEDED IT TO BE.

BY THE WAY, SHE WON THE PRIMARY.I BELIEVE THE LOSERS OPENING

STATEMENT WAS I USE TO FART INTOMY HAND AND THEN SMELL IT.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

ALRIGHT. MAYBE WEDON'T HAVE AS A MATURE DEMOCRACY

AS WE WOULD LIKE. DOES ANYONEOUT THERE GOT A

DEMOCRACY THAT'S REALLY,TRULY BLOOMING?

>> FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 50YEARS SYRIANS HAVE A CHOICE

AMONG CANDIDATES IN APRESIDENTIAL ELECTION TODAY.

>> JON: NOW WE'RE GETTINGSOMEWHERE.

SYRIA. YES, AS IT TURNSOUT THE EPICENTER OF ONE OF THE

WORLD'S HARSHEST AND BLOODIESTCIVIL WARS IS NOW A MUST VISIT

FOR DEMOCRACY CONNOISSEURS.IT'S THE SUBJECT OF TONIGHT'S

DEMOCALYPSE 2014: LITERALDEMOCALPYSE EDITION.

SO, WHAT ARE THE HALLMARKS OFSYRIAN DEMOCRACY?

>> VOTING IS RESTRICTED TO AREASCONTROLLED BY THE GOVERNMENT.

>> JON: SAME HERE:SCHOOLS, GYMNASIUMS AND SUCH.

>> THE SYMBOLIC WAYTO DECLARE

ALLEGIANCE IS TO CAST THEIRBALLOT IN BLOOD.

>> JON: THAT'S DIFFERENT.

ALTHOUGH DO SYRIANS GET AN IVOTED STICKER? SO, I GUESS YOU

GET TEN ELECTIONS IN SYRIA ANDYOU'RE PRETTY MUCH DONE VOTING.

WHAT TYPE OF CAMPAIGNSIGNAGE MAY REPRESENT THE SYRIAN

ELECTION SEASON.

>> PERHAPS THE MOSTCONTROVERSIAL ELECTION POSTER IN

THE WORLD. BASHAR AL-ASSADON A BURNT OUT BUILDING IN THE

BATTLE SCARRED TOWN OF HOMS.

>> JON: OK, THAT SEEMSTONE DEAF. BUT MAKES SENSE

IF YOU KNOW ASSAD'S SLOGAN. I'MSOMEWHAT HESITANT TO COMPARE

WITH MY PARALLEL DEMOCRACYSTUDY. OUT OF CURIOSITY,

THE INCUMBENT BASHARAL-ASSAD, WHAT'S HIS STANCE ON

I DON'T KNOW, GREEN HOUSE GASES?

>> THE REGIME HAS HUNDREDSOF TONS OF MUSTARD GAS AND LARGE

STOCK PILES OF SARIN.

>> ATTACKING HIS OWN PEOPLE WITHCHLORINE GAS.

>> JON: OKAY.

I WILL PUT YOU DOWN ASREGULATION AVERSE.

LOOK, I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT ACAMPAIGN ADVISOR OR POLITICAL

STRATEGIST IN ANY WAY, BUTI THINK THIS CANDIDATE

AL-ASSAD IS VULNERABLE ON ANUMBER OF SPOT HERE.

WHAT DOES HIS OPPONENTHASSAN AL NOURI HAVE TO SAY?

BECAUSE UNLESS THIS GUY'S ATOTAL TOOL, I THINK HE'S GOING

TO CRUSH AL-ASSAD.

>> HASSAN AL NOURI CALLEDAL-ASSAD A VERY STRONG LEADER

AND HE SAID QUOTE YOU HAVE TORESPECT WHAT ASSAD IS DOING.

>> POLITICALLY I THINK HE ISDOING WHAT HE HAS TO DO,

ESPECIALLY CONCERNING THECRISIS.

>> I DO AGREE WITH PRESIDENTASSAD IN MANY ISSUES.

>> I'M NOT ANTI-ASSAD.

AND NO ONE IS PERFECT.

>> JON: IN FACT I AM VOTING FORHIM.

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