Me, the Press

  • Aired:  02/26/13
  •  | Views: 58,477

Former White House press secretaries find a new relationship with the press after a career of dissembling to the press. (6:02)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.

CONTINUING OUR COVERAGE OF THE WAR ON PURIM --

[LAUGHTER]

WE'RE GOING TO MOVE ON.

WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY IS PERHAPS THE WORLD'S MOST PRESTIGIOUS (bleep) JOB.

YOU BAWRVEGLY FUNCTION AS A HUMAN SHIELD AGAINST WHAT WE ON EARTH CALL WHAT IS ACTUALLY

GOING ON.

CONSIDER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE READY TO HANG UP THE MIC.

EXPRESIDENTS GET BIG SPEAKING FEES OR CARP PEN TRI WORK OR THEY CAN ROB BANKS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHERE DOES ONE WHOSE ENTIRE JOB CONSIFTING OF DISSEMBLING TO THE PRESS GO?

>> I WANT TO BRING UP ROBERT GIBBS, FORMER PRESS SECRETARY OF THE WHITE HOUSE.

>> Jon: YOU GO TO THE CLASS.

HE HAS EARNED HIS MSNBC OFFICIAL RETRO FRAMED ANALOGLASSES.

YOU KNOW WHO WEARS WIRE RIMS, WAIT.

GIBBS HAS BEEN FUNCTIONING AS AN ADMINISTRATION MOUTH PIECE AND NOW HE'S FLIPPING.

CAN WE TRUST HIM?

MR. GIBBS WHEN YOU WERE WORKING AS PRESS SECRETARY YOU ANSWERS QUESTIONS ABOUT DRONES THUSLY.

>> I DON'T THINK U.S. OFFICIALS HAVE CONFIRMED THE PREDATOR DRONE AIR STRIKES.

>> I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THESE MATTERS.

>> DRONE STRIKES KILLED EIGHT GERMANS IN PAKISTAN TODAY.

DO YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THAT?

>> I DON'T.

AND IF I DID -- IF I DID, I WOULDN'T GET INTO IT.

>> Jon: SHIRE TIP FOR YOU ASPIRING TRUTH SLEUTHS OUT THERE IF SOMEBODY SAYS I DON'T FOE

ABOUT THAT, AND EVEN IF I DID, I WOULDN'T TELL YOU, THAT PERSON KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

THIS GUY IS GOING TO HAVE TO PROVE TO US HIS CHANGES HIS INFORMATION HIDES WAYS DUSM KNOW

ABOUT THAT?

>> WHEN I WENT THROUGH THE PROCESS OF BECOMING PRESS SECRETARY ONE OF FIRST THINGS

THEY TOLD ME IS THAT YOU ARE NOT EVEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE DRONE PROGRAM.

YOU ARE NOT EVEN TO DISCUSS IT EXISTS.

>> Jon: THE SECOND THING THEY TOLD ME HOW THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERIOR INVENTED AIDS.

TURNS OUT IT'S THE NEW FORMULA OF NEW COKE INSTEAD OF HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.

YOU COPPED TO LYING ALL THAT IS LEFT NOW IS TO DISTANCE YOURSELF TO THE LYING.

>> OUR DISMISSAL OF PROGRAM UNDERMINES PEOPLE'S CONFIDENCE OVERALL IN THE DECISIONS THE

GOVERNMENT MAKES.

>> Stephen: --

>> Jon: I TOLD THEM ALL THE TIMER UNDERMINING -- AND THEY WOULD SAY GIBBS TRY THIS MONKEY POP.

DID YOU IT BOTHER YOU, MR.

GIBBS.

>> HERE IS WHAT IS CRAZY ABOUT THAT PROPOSITION.

YOU ARE ASKED A QUESTION BASED ON REPORTING OF A PROGRAM THAT EXISTS.

RIGHT, SO, YOU ARE THE OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT SPOKESPERSON.

>> EXACTLY.

>> ACTING AS IF THE ENTIRE PROGRAM PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

>> Jon: WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO QUIT?

GET ANOTHER IN THE OBAMA ECONOMY.

COME ON, I TOLD YOU AT THE TIME THINGS WERE LOOKING UP FOR THE ECONOMY BUT I WAS (bleep) ON

THAT, TOO.

HE GIVES HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE PRESS SECRETARY JOB AND ARE NEVER THE SAME.

>> I WENT INTO THIS VERY MUCH BELIEVING THE PRESIDENT WAS COMMITTED TO BE A BIPARTISAN LEADER.

I WAS DEPUTY PRESS SECRETARY IN THE BUILDUP TO THE WAR.

LIKE A LOT OF AMERICANS I WASN'T CERTAIN ABOUT THE RUSH TO WAR.

I WAS BECOME MORE DISILLUSIONED.

WHEN I LEFT THE WHITE HOUSE I NEEDED TIME TO TAKE OFF THE PARTISAN HAT AND I WANTED TO

THINK THROUGH WHY DID THINGS GET SO BADLY OFF TRACK?

>> Jon: ARE YOU HAPPY?

YOU ARE BROKEN.

YOU KNOW, IF I'M PRESIDENT I DON'T WANT EITHER A GIBBS SHALL GIBBS A JADED PRESENCE KNOWINGLY

SPILL YOUR SECRETS ONCE HE LEAVES OFFICE OR McCLELLAN A FORMER BELIEVER WHO IN CLEANSING

HIS SOUL SPILLS YOUR SECRETS.

WHEN YOU NEED IS A JADED BELIEVER.

OH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

A BEING SO DIFFICULT AND STUB BORN THEY SAY IT TOOK THREE FOLLOW-UPS TO GET HIM TO TELL

YOU WHAT HE WANTED FOR LUNCH.

THERE'S FLEISCHER BACK IN THE DAY.

>> THERE'S NO QUESTION WE HAVE EVIDENCE THAT IRAQ HAS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION.

THE UNITED NATIONS HAVE SAID THEY DID.

IRAQ SAYS THEY DON'T.

YOU CAN CHOOSE WHO YOU WANT TO BELIEVE.

>> Jon: COLD!

HERE IS FLEISCHER NOW.

SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE CHANGE.

>> THE REPORT SAYS THERE'S TIES TO AL QAEDA.

TO SAY THAT PRESIDENT BUSH LIED ABOUT THIS, PAUL, THAT IS EXACTLY THE TYPE OF DIVISIVENESS

WE'RE TRYING TO MOVE BEYOND IN THIS COUNTRY.

BARACK OBAMA SHOULD SAY THANK YOU EVERY DAY THAT INHERITED A WORLD WITHOUT SADDAM HUSSEIN IN IT.

>> Jon: DID YOU CATCH THE CHANGE?

HE DOESN'T WEAR GLASSES ANYMORE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH, YEAH HIS EYESIGHT HAS IMPROVED.

THE LONGER HE LIVES WITH THE SPIN THE STRONGER HE GETS.

IF YOU WANT A PRESS SECRETARY, THE MAN YOU NEED IS RIGHT HERE BENJAMIN (bleep).

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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