YouBoat

  • Aired:  01/05/11
  •  | Views: 76,203

The commander of a naval aircraft carrier loses his job for making raunchy videos. (3:28)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

BIG NEWS.

BIG NEWS.

BIG NEWS OUT OF THE PENTAGON

THIS WEEK.

THE COMMANDER OF THE N.F.L.

AIRCRAFT CARRIER HAS BEEN

RELIEVED OF HIS COMMAND.

OBVIOUSLY THIS ONLY HAPPEN UNDER

EXTRAORDINARY SITUATIONS,

DERELICTION OF DUTY, TREASON, OR

IN THIS CASE...

>> THE NAVY HAS PERMANENTLY

RELEASED CAPTAIN OWEN HONORS FOR

POOR JUDGMENT OVER A SERIES OF

RAUNCHY VIDEOS.

>> Jon: REALLY RAUNCHY VIDEOS.

YOU KNOW THEY'VE BEEN DOING THAT

IN THE MILITARY SINCE THE

REVOLUTIONARY WAR.

WHO CAN FORGET GEORGE WASHINGTON

CROSSING THE DELAWARE WITH

PRETENDING TO HAVE A BUTTERNUT

SQUASH PAINTED... TROOPS LAUGHED

SO HARD THEY NEARLY GAVE AWAY

THEIR POSITIONS.

ALL RIGHT.

SO CAPTAIN HONORS OF THE NAVY

AIRCRAFT CARRIER "THE USS

ENTERPRISE," A TROOP

COMMISSIONED BY ADMIRAL H.T.

NERDLINGTON, HAS LOST HIS JOB

FOR MAKING VIDEOS TO POST HIS

MORALE.

THEY MUST BE VILE.

>> GAY SLUR, MIMICKED

MASTURBATION AND SIMULATED SEX

ACTS.

>> BOTH MEN AND WOMEN SUPPOSEDLY

SOMEHOWERING TOGETHER.

>> WELL, THE SOMEHOWERING THING

ACTUALLY SEEMS NICE.

YOU MIGHT EVEN WANT THE USE THAT

IN THE AD TO HELP WITH THE

RECRUITMENT.

♪ WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU ANYWAY

♪♪

>> Jon: OKAY.

NOW I'M OFFENDED.

( LAUGHTER ).

BUT NOT AS A CITIZEN, AS A

COMEDIAN.

THE OLD EATING FAKE POOP GAG?

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW MUCH

ABOUT DEFENDING OUR BOARDERS,

BUT I DO KNOW AS A PRODUCER, YOU

TRY NOT TO STEAL YOUR BITS FROM

"CADDYSHACK."

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

♪♪

( LAUGHTER )

PRETENDING TO MASTER BAIT THEN

YOU REVEAL THAT YOU'RE ONLY

PUMPING GAS.

THE ONLY YANK AND PRANK.

WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE?

"CADDYSHACK"!

IT'S AMATEUR HOUR OVER THERE.

>> ALL OF YOU BLEEDING HEARTS

AND YOU FAG BOY, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST GO AHEAD AND HUG

YOURSELVES.

>> Jon: THAT'S JUST WEIRD.

IT IS IMPRESSIVE, COMP CAITSD

SPLIT SCREEN SHOT WHERE ALL

THREE CHARACTERS ARE THE SAME

PERSON HAVING TO PERFECTLY TIME

THEIR PERFORMANCES THAT.

IS AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF

PRODUCTION TIME AND EFFORT ALL

FOR ONE LAME GAY JOKE.

DOES KIND OF BEG THE QUESTION,

SIR, DO YOU EVER PILOT THIS

[BLEEPED] SHIP?

CAPTAIN, WE GOT A BOEINGY COMING

IN HOT.

>> YEAH, I'M JUST LAYING DOWN

THE FINAL CUT.

SO WHAT PUNISHMENT IS IN THIS

FOR CAPTAIN HONORS?

>> HONORS WAS REPLACED

IMMEDIATELY BY A NEW CAPTAIN WHO

WILL NOW COMMAND THE ENTERPRISE

TO THE UPCOMING MISSION ON THE

WAR IN AFGHANISTAN IN A COUPLE

WEEKS.

>> HIS PUNISHMENT IS NOT HAVING

TO GO TO AFGHANISTAN.

( LAUGHTER )

WELL PLAYED, SIR, WELL PLAYED.

TOO BAD, THOUGH.

I HEAR YOU CAN MAKE GREAT

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