Truthiness to Power

  • Aired:  09/27/10
  •  | Views: 281,160

After Stephen Colbert wastes 10 minutes to testify before Congress on the plight of farm laborers, legislators can get back to the business at hand. (7:39)

Captioning sponsored by

COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: OH, YES, WELCOME TO

"THE DAILY SHOW".

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I'M JON STEWART.

AND THIS IS THE 42nd DAY OF

SUKOT.

FINE PROGRAM TONIGHT.

FROM FOX'S NEWS THE O'REILLY

FACTOR BILL FACTOR.

[LAUGHTER]

AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW BY NOW LAST

FRIDAY COMEDIAN STEPHEN COLBERT

RUINED CONGRESS.

[LAUGHTER]

NOT CONTENT WITH SABOTAGING MY

RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY, OCTOBER

30, WASHINGTON, D.C., NOON TO

3:00.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOT SATISFIED WITH SABOTAGING

THIS WITH THIS POPULAR KEEP FEAR

ALONG JAM BOREEE STEPHEN COLBERT

HAS MOCKED OUR LEGISLATORS TO

THEIR FACES WHEN HE WENT TO

WASHINGTON, WALKED INTO A

CONGRESSIONAL HEARING ROOM AND

TESTIFIED ON THE PLIGHT OF

UNDOCUMENTED FARM WORKERS, STEAL

HAVING A JOB THAT IS

TRADITIONALLY DONE BY BASEBALL

PLAYERS ON STEROIDS AND NOT

REALLY AT ALL APOLOGETIC

C.E.O.S.

>> CONGRESSWOMAN LOFGREN ASKED

ME TO SHARE MY VAST EXPERIENCE

SHARING ONE DAY AS A MIGRANT

WORKER.

>> I WAS A CORN PACKER.

I KNOW IT'S OFFENSIVE TO SOME

BECAUSE CORN PACKER SAY DERING

DEROGATORY TERM FOR A GAY

ISLAND.

>> Jon: HA, HA.

IT'S ALSO OFFENSIVE TO THE

FOOTBALL ARENA FRANCHISE THE

GREEN CORN PACKERS.

[LAUGHTER]

HAVE I BEEN WORKING OUT?

THANK YOU WHOEVER PHOTO SHOPPED

THAT PICTURE.

I WASN'T THE ONLY COMPLETELY

HUMOROUS C-SPANIARD WHO IS

OFFENSIVE.

>> THIS IS A BROKEN SYSTEM AND

THEY ARE COLBERT AS THE FIRST

GUY.

>> IT'S AN INSULT TO THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE.

>> THEY'VE GOT TIME TO BRING A

COMEDIAN TO WASHINGTON, D.C. BUT

THEY DON'T HAVE TO TIME TO

ELIMINATE THE UNCERTAIN BY

EXTENDING THE TAX RATES.

>> I THINK IT'S AN EMBARRASSMENT

FOR MR. COLBERT MORE THAN THE

HOUSE.

>> Jon: OF COURSE COLBERT IS

MORE EMBARRASSED THAN THE HOUSE

OF REPRESENTATIVES.

COLBERT STILL HAS DIGNITY AND

INTEGRITY LEFT TO LOSE.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU CAN'T EMBARRASS CONGRESS.

HOW COULD YOU?

YOU CAN'T EMBARRASS THE HOUSE OF

REPRESENTATIVES.

THEY ARE THE ANDY DICK OF OUR

GOVERNMENT.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU MAKE OUT WITH

ANDY DICK HE IS NOT THE ONE

WORRIED ABOUT COLD SORES.

[LAUGHTER]

COLBERT'S LOUDEST CRITIC MIGHT

HAVE BEEN IOWA REPUBLICAN STEVE

KING, HERO, WHO IMMEDIATELY

RUSHED FROM THE TIME WASTING

HEARING TO DO THE PEOPLE'S WORK

COMPLAIN ON FOX NEWS ABOUT TIME

WASTED.

>> YOU KNOW HOW COMEDIANS ARE.

THEY ARE ALWAYS GLAD TO GET

CAMERA TIME.

>> Jon: HE IS AANYTHING HOW

ENAMORED CERTAIN CONGRESSMEN ARE

WITH SEEING THEMSELVES ON CAMERA

TO BE FAIR TO STEVE KING DOES HE

BURN THE MIDNIGHT OIL WITH HIS

SIDE BUSINESS TO PROTECT HIS

CURRENT AGAINST TINY MEXICANS.

>> WE COULD ELECTRIFY THIS WIRE

WITH THE KIND OF CURRENT THAT

WOULDN'T KILL SOMEBODY BUT WOULD

BE A DISCOURAGEMENT FROM THEM.

WE DO IT WITH LIVESTOCK ALL THE

TIME.

>> Jon: YES, IT DOES WORK WITH

LIVESTOCK BUT IN THIS CASE WE'RE

TALKING ABOUT HUMAN BEINGS.

THERE WAS ONE PERSON MORE WORKED

UP WITH STEVE KING.

HIS INTERVIEWER.

>> DO YOU THINK THAT ZOE LUF

DBREN OWES THE TAXPAYERS AN

APOLOGY FOR WASTING TAXPAYER

TIMES.

THERE'S A LOT OF PROBLEMS IN

THIS COUNTRY.

>> Jon: TRUE.

THE COUNTRY DOESN'T HAVE TEN

MINUTES THAT IT TOOK FOR COLBERT

TO TESTIFY IN FRONT OF CONGRESS

THEREBY GIVING MASSIVE MEDIA

ATTENTION TO THE MASSIVE ISSUE

OF MIGRANT FARM WORKERS.

>> CONGRESSMAN THANK FOR BEING

HERE.

>> THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE IT.

>> TIP YOUR HAT TO JOHN CONYER

CALLING OUT A FELLOW DEMOCRAT.

A NEW SECRET FOR LINDSAY LOHAN.

A SCAL FORN JUDGE SENDING HER

BACK TO JAIL WITH NO BAIL.

>> Jon: IN A PAIL.

SHE'S GOT MAIL.

[LAUGHTER]

OPRAH'S BEST FRIEND IS GAYLE.

I LOVE RHYMES.

I'M SORRY, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT

PROBLEMS IN THE COUNTRY.

THE FACT IS THE SO-CALLED

COMEDIAN WASN'T EVEN FUNNY.

[LAUGHTER]

AND IT'S NOT JUST ME SAYING

THAT.

>> DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, I

DON'T WANT A TOMATO PICKED BY

AND AMERICAN I WANT IT PICKED BY

A GUATEMALA AND SLICES BY HIS

CHILEAN IN A SPA WHERE I GET A

BRAZILLAN.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: NO, THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

NOBODY CONGRESS LAUGHED AAT

LAUGH.

THEY ONLY LAUGHED AT ONE INNING

IN REALLY.

>> I TRUST THAT FOLLOWING MY

TESTIMONY BOTH SIDES WILL WORK

TOGETHER ON THIS ISSUE IN THE

BEST INTEREST OF THE AMERICAN

PEOPLE AS YOU ALWAYS DO.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: THAT'S WHAT THEY

LAUGHED AT IN THE ROOM.

SEE IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE IT'S

SAD.

SO THEY COMPLAINED WHEN COLBERT

WAS BEING FUNNY.

WHAT ABOUT WHEN HE WAS BEING

SERIOUS.

HE MADE A PERFECT PLEA FOR THE

PLIGHT OF THE WORKER AND QUOTED

SCRIPTURE WHICH FROM WHAT I

UNDERSTAND IS THE GOOD BOOK,

SOMETHING WAL-MART WOULD SELL.

>> ANY COMIC WHO SAID I'M HERE

TO SPEAK FOR PEOPLE WITH NO

VOICE IS NO LONGER A COMIC BUT A

POMPOUS JERK.

>>

>> Jon: YES AS OPPOSED TO

ARROGANT DOUCHE WHO DECIDES WHO

IS AND IS NOT A COMIC.

TUCKER AND I CAN TALK LIKE THIS

BECAUSE WE HAVE A VISCERAL

NEGATIVE REACTION TO EACH OTHER.

NOT AN OUNCE OF FRIENDSHIP OR

RESPECT BETWEEN US.

TRULY ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE IN

THE WORLD I FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT.

SURE, THIS IS REALLY ABOUT

CONGRESS.

THANK GOD WITH COLBERT GONE THEY

CAN GET BACK TO THE BUSINESS AT

HAND.

>> THE U.S. SENATE FAILED TO

MOVE FORWARD ON REPEALING DON'T

ASK DON'T TELL.

>> A RESOLUTION COMMENDING THE

UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN

CALIFORNIA.

>> HR4584 AN ACT TO PROVIDE FOR

A SPECIES CONSERVATION FUND.

>> SMALL BUSINESS BILL FAILED TO

PASS A PROCEDURAL VOTE.

>> RESOLUTION 628 RECOGNIZING

THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF

NATIONAL BOOK FESTIVAL.

>> CONGRESS DID NOT PASS THE

DEFENSE SUPPLEMENTAL BEFORE THE

JULY 4 BREAK.

>> A RESOLUTION COMET RATING THE

75th ANNIVERSARY OF THE BLUE

RIDGE PARKWAY.

>> 2.5 MILLION AMERICANS WILL

FAIL TO LOSE THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT

BENEFITS

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