Unchosen

  • Aired:  06/11/14
  •  | Views: 155,496

The media finally gets a story worthy of the hyperbole of the 24-hour news cycle when an upstart Tea Party member defeats incumbent Eric Cantor. (4:54)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILYSHOW.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, NEW YORKSENATOR CHUCK SCHUMER, FORMER

STAR OF NBC'S ESPIONAGE COMEDY"CHUCK."

BUT FIRST, YOU KNOW, LOOK, WE'REALL FAMILIAR WITH THE HYPERBOLE

OF THE 24-HOUR NEWS CYCLE.

OH, BREAKING NEWS, WE FOUND THEPLANE.

OH, WE DIDN'T FIND THE...

ACTUALLY IT'S...

SORRY, IT'S A STYROFOAM CUP.

SORRY.

BUT YESTERDAY, YESTERDAYIT FINALLY LIVED UP TO THE HYPE.

>> STUNNING, EPIC UPSET INVIRGINIA.

>> HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERICCANTOR HAS NOW LOST HIS G.O.P.

PRIMARY TO TEA PARTY ACTIVISTDAVID BRAT.

>> AN UNDERDOG VICTORY ON BEHALFOF AN UNFUNDED NEWCOMER.

>> THIS IS SIMPLY UNPRECEDENTED.

>> THE HISTORY-MAKING SURPRISE.

>> DAVID OVER GOLIATH TIMES ATHOUSAND.

>> Jon: A THOUSAND! [LAUGHTER]

THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. YOUNEED TO TAKE THE BIBLICAL

STRUGGLE OF ISRAEL'S FUTURE KINGDAVID AS HE, ARMED WITH BUT A

SLINGSHOT, SLAYED A LITERALGIANT WHOSE VERY NAME HAS BECOME

SYNONYMOUS WITH LARGE THINGS ANDMULTIPLY THAT BY A THOUSAND.

THAT, THAT... NO!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]I EVEN THINK THAT'S UNDERSTATING

IT.

THAT WAS LAST NIGHT'S REPUBLICANPRIMARY IN VIRGINIA'S SEVENTH

DISTRICT. [LAUGHTER]

WHERE POLITICALNEWCOMER DAVID BRAT

DEFEATED THE SITTING HOUSEMAJORITY LEADER, AND I CAN

ONLY ASSUME FUTURE MILLIONAIRELOBBYIST, ERIC CANTOR.

CANTOR WAS BASICALLY THE FOURTHMOST POWERFUL REPUBLICAN IN

WASHINGTON BEHIND MITCHMcCONNELL, JOHN BOEHNER AND AN

AR-15 THAT FIRES BABY EAGLESDRESSED LIKE JESUS.

HOW, HOW...

[LAUGHTER]THAT'S... THEY SAID THE PICTURE

WON'T BE READY UNTIL THE SHOW.

AND I SAID, WELL, ALL RIGHT.

WHATEVER YOU CAN DO TO MAKE ITREALISTIC. THAT WOULD BE...

THAT'S REALLY QUITE LOVELY.

HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?

>> HE HAD ALL THE NAMERECOGNITION.

HE OUTSPENT HIS OPPONENT 40-1AND STILL LOST BY AN ASTOUNDING

11 POINTS.

>> CANTOR'S CAMPAIGN SPENT MOREAT STEAK HOUSES THAN BRAT SPENT

ON HIS ENTIRE CAMPAIGN.

>> Jon: WELL, OKAY.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

IT'S VERY HARD TO CONDUCT YOURCAMPAIGN WHEN YOU GOT THE MEAT

SWEATS.

"MY BUDGET PLATFORM... BRRUFF...

LORD HAVE MERCY.

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION THERE,WHO IS THIS DAVID BRAT FELLOW?

>> HE'S A COLLEGE ECONOMICSPROFESSOR.

>> A 3.4 RATING OUT OF 5 ON RATEMY PROFESSOR DOT COM.

STUDENTS ALSO GAVE HIM A CHILLIPEPPER, MEANING HE'S CONSIDERED

PRETTY HOT, AS IN GOOD LOOKING.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: LOOKS LIKE CONGRESS

HAS A NEW McDREAMY.

STEP ASIDE, VERMONT SENATORBERNIE SANDERS.

ALL RIGHT.

I LIKE WHAT I'M SEEING FROM THISFELLOW, BUT IS HE MORE THAN

EYE CANDY?

>> THE REASON WE WON THISCAMPAIGN IS THERE IS JUST ONE

REASON, AND THAT'S BECAUSEDOLLARS DO NOT VOTE.

YOU DO.

>> Jon: WOW.

I LOVE THE SENTIMENT, ALTHOUGH,A CERTAIN SUPREME COURT MIGHT

DISAGREE WITH YOU, BUT I LIKETHE CUT OF HIS JIB.

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT THERE, FELLA?

>> LUKE 18:27.

JESUS REPLIED, "WHAT ISIMPOSSIBLE WITH MAN IS POSSIBLE

WITH GOD."

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: DID NOT SEE THAT

COMING.

>> THIS IS A MIRACLE FROM GODTHAT THIS HAPPENED.

WE BELIEVE IN GOD WHO GAVE USTHIS MIRACLE TODAY.

I LOVE EVERY SINGLE PERSON THATGOD MADE ON THIS PLANET.

>> Jon: WE GET IT.

YOU BEAT A JEWISH GUY.

WE GET IT.

FINE.

WE'RE NOT AS CHOSEN AS WETHOUGHT WE WERE.

OKAY?

YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING,THOUGH? WHAT'S INTERESTING ABOUT

ABOUT THE JEWISH PEOPLE, IF IMAY, IS THAT

IF WE HAD ACHIEVED A VICTORYLIKE THIS ELECTION, THE NEXT DAY

THAT WOULD BE A NEW JEWISHHOLIDAY. THAT WOULD BE...

WE'D HAVE A, IT'D BE EIGHT DAYSAND WE'D COME UP WITH SOME

TYPE OF POTATO-ONION THING TOEAT, AND KIDS, KIDS WOULD HATE

IT.

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