Bi-Annual Competency Round-Up

  • Aired:  05/13/13
  •  | Views: 56,279

Following Time Magazine's health care expose, the government investigates comparative medical costs across 3,000 US hospitals. (4:38)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

WELL, AS WE'VE JUST SEEN IT

SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING THE

GOVERNMENT DOES TURNS OUT, AS

THE ITALIAN'S MIGHT SAY NO GOOD.

GET OFF THE BRIDGE, PEOPLE,

SOMETIMES IT CAN WORK THE WAY

IT'S SUPPOSED TO WHICH BRINGS US

TO OUR HOPEFULLY RECURRING

SEGMENT "THE DAILY SHOW'S

BIANNUAL COMPETENCY ROUNDUP."

IT ONLY HAS ONE STORY IN IT, BUT

STILL.

(LAUGHTER)

REMEMBER THIS?

THE "TIME" MAGAZINE COVER STORY

FROM BACK IN MARCH IN WHICH

JOURNALIST STEVEN BRILL

EXPLAINED WHY SOME PROCEDURES

COST EXPONENTIALLY MORE AT

CERTAIN HOSPITALS COMPARED TO

THE COST FOR MEDICARE PATIENTS.

I'LL LET THE "TIME" MAGAZINE

EDITOR GIVE THE BULLET POINT.

>> HOSPITALS, WHEN THEY DECIDE

WHAT TO CHARGE OUTSIDE OF THE

MEDICARE STRUCTURE, RELY ON A

DOUBLE SECRET PRICING MENU

CALLED THE CHARGE MASTER AND

BASICALLY THE PRICES THEY CHARGE

ARE JUST WHIMSICAL.

>> Jon: WHIMSICAL!

OOH!

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S THE WORD THAT POPS INTO

THE MIND OF A FAMILY BANKRUPTED

BY HOSPITAL BILLS.

IT'S LIKE OZ.

(LAUGHTER)

UNTIL BRILL'S INVESTIGATION, THE

SO-CALLED CHARGE MASTER WAS

CLOAKED IN MYSTERY.

NOW WE KNOW EXACTLY HOW

HOSPITALS SET THEIR PRICES.

(LAUGHTER)

THEY GATHER ON THE FIRST FULL

MOON OF THE YEAR TO BURY THE

CARCASS OF A SUCKLING PIG.

(LAUGHTER)

PREFERABLY AT A CROSS ROADS AND

THEN, AFTER A FORTNIGHT, THEY

EXHUME THE BONES WHICH ARE THEN

CAST INTO A CLEROMANTIC RITUAL

AND READ BY THE TOWN ELDERS.

THEN AND ONLY THEN DO THEY

IGNORE THAT NUMBER AND CHARGE

WHATEVER SEEMS MOST PLAUSIBLE.

(LAUGHTER)

THESE REVELATIONS CAUSED A BIT

OF A STIR IN THE MEDICAL

COMMUNITY, WHICH MAKES SENSE

CONSIDERING THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO

READ "TIME" MAGAZINE, ANYMORE,

ARE MEDICAL PATIENTS.

(LAUGHTER)

LOOK, HERE IS WHERE THE MIRACLE

OF COMPETENCE HAPPENS.

THANKS TO THE "TIME" PIECE, THE

GOVERNMENT TOOK STEPS TO FIX THE

PROBLEM.

>> AN EYE-OPENING EVEN SHOCKING

FIRST OF ITS KIND GOVERNMENT

REPORT IS OUT ON THE COST OF

HOSPITAL HEALTH CARE.

>> THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND

HUMAN SERVICES BASICALLY TOOK A

LOOK AT 3,000 HOSPITALS ACROSS

THE COUNTRY, THEY EXAMINED THE

TOP 100 PROCEDURES, TREATING A

HEART ATTACK WITH NO

COMPLICATIONS AT A HOSPITAL IN

DANVILLE, ARKANSAS, THAT WILL

COST YOU.

$3,000.

IN MODESTO, CALIFORNIA, IT WILL

ACTUALLY COST YOU $92,000.

>> Jon: NO OOH, NO AH, TO BE

FAIR, THE $90,000 EXTRA IS

BECAUSE THEY REPLACE YOUR HEART

WITH THE HEART OF THE OCEAN FROM

"TITANIC."

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S WORTH IT FOR THE

RELIABILITY.

(LAUGHTER)

♪ THE HEART WILL GO ON ♪

(LAUGHTER)

ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

IN TERMS OF BEHAVIOR

MODIFICATION, THAT IS THE WRONG

RESPONSE TO MY SINGING.

(LAUGHTER)

REALLY?

THEY LIKE IT!

ALL RIGHT, THOSE FIGURES WERE IN

TOTALLY DIFFERENT STATES,

ARKANSAS AND CALIFORNIA.

CHARGE MASTER'S GOT TO BE MORE

CONSISTENT WHEN YOU'RE TALKING

ABOUT HOSPITALS IN THE SAME

STATE.

>> IN NEW JERSEY, IF YOU'RE

GETTING A PACEMAKER YOU CAN PAY.

$0,000 FOR IT OR YOU CAN PAY

$101,000.

>> Jon: SO, LISTEN, YOU WANT

THE PACE MAKER THAT KEEPS YOUR

HEART WORKING OR YOU WANT TO

$70,000 ONE?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

(LAUGHTER)

SO WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS

ESSENTIALLY A RARE TOTAL ECLIPSE

OF CONFIDENCE.

A JOURNALIST FLAG ADD SERIOUS

PROBLEM AND THE GOVERNMENT MADE

IT EASIER FOR CONSUMERS TO

NAVIGATE THE PROBLEM.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO NOW IS GET

HURT NEAR CHEAPER HOSPITALS.

(LAUGHTER)

AND THIS IS WHAT MAKES ALL THAT

I.R.S. AND BENGHAZI AND V.A.

STUFF SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE WE

CAN DO BETTER.

AND IF THIS TYPE OF THING

HAPPENED MORE THAN THAT TYPE OF

THING WE WOULD BE DOING BETTER.

SO BIG UPS TO H.H.S. AND TO

"TIME", OUR NEW HOME FOR SERIOUS

JOURNALISM.

WHAT'S THE NEXT COVER STORY.

>> THE "ME, ME, ME GENERATION."

(LAUGHTER)

REALLY, SO PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN

INTO DIFFERENT GENERATIONS ARE

DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER?

THAT REMINDS ME OF THE COVER YOU

HAD IN 1990 AND THAT SAID GEN-X

WAS SELFISH AND I'M GUESSING YOU

TOOK THAT BACK BECAUSE THOSE

PEOPLE ENDED UP RUNNING "TIME"

MAGAZINE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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