Indecision 2012 - Two Debates, One GOP

  • Aired:  01/09/12
  •  | Views: 113,006

At the second New Hampshire GOP debate, Newt Gingrich calls Mitt Romney out for his pious bologna, and Mitt Romney's weak attempts at relatability collapse. (7:17)

VERY SERIOUSLY.

LET'S BEGIN WITH OUR

CONTINUING COVERAGE OF THE

REPUBLICANS' RACE FOR THE

WHITE HOUSE.

TUESDAY IS THE NEW HAMPSHIRE

PRIMARY.

THE CRUCIAL VOTE AND A KEY

BELLWETHER FOR THE SOUTH

CAROLINA VOTE 12 DAYS FROM

THEN WHICH YOU KNOW IS A--

(SNORING)-- THE REMAINING

REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES GATHERED

SATURDAY NIGHT ON ABC

TELEVISION FOR A 9:00 P.M.

DEBATE AND THEN INEXPLICABLY

REASSEMBLED THE NEXT MORNING

AT 9:00 A.M. ON NBC FOR

ANOTHER DEBATE.

IT'S LIKE THE REPUBLICAN

PRIMARIES BECOME A TELETHON

FOR ELECTORAL DYSTROPHY.

THE 14th AND 15th DEBATE.

I MEAN THEY'RE OUT OF THINGS

TO TALK ABOUT.

HERE WAS WHAT THEY WERE DOWN

TO SATURDAY NIGHT.

>> IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT AGAIN

AS WE MEET.

SO IF YOU WEREN'T HERE RUNNING

FOR PRESIDENT, WHAT WOULD YOU

BE DOING ON A SATURDAY NIGHT

IN...?

>> Jon: AS A FOLLOW-UP, WHAT

WOULD YOU BE WEARING?

AND AS A FOLLOW-UP TO THAT,

REALLY, YOU'RE GOING TO GO OUT

IN THAT?

OBVIOUSLY IT'S A SILLY

QUESTION.

AND YET IT REVEALS THE SAD

TRUTH OF RUNNING FOR

PRESIDENT.

NO QUESTION IS TOO TRIVIAL TO

NOT MERIT A PANDERING LIE.

>> I PROBABLY WOULD BE AT THE

SHOOTING RANGE.

>> I'D BE WATCHING THE COLLEGE

CHAMPIONSHIP BASKETBALL GAME.

>> FOOTBALL GAME.

>> I MEAN, FOOTBALL GAME.

>> I'D BE WATCHING THE

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

>> FOOTBALL.

I LOVE IT.

>> I'D PROBABLY READ AN

ECONOMIC TEXTBOOK.

>> Jon: I BELIEVE ONE OF YOU,

SERIOUSLY.

IF YOU WENT DOWN THE LINE OF

THE CANDIDATES THE REAL

ANSWERS WOULD BE REAL

HOUSEWIVES, I'D BE WATCHING

REAL HOUSEWIVES.

REAL HOUSEWIVES.

REAL HOUSEWIVES.

REAL HOUSEWIVES.

I'D BE READING AN ECONOMIC

TEXTBOOK.

IN FACT, THE SATURDAY DEBATE,

THE SATURDAY DEBATE WAS SO

LAME THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING

PEOPLE EVEN WANTED TO TALK

ABOUT AFTERWARDS.

>> NOBODY REALLY WENT AFTER

MITT ROMNEY.

>> A LOT OF THE RIVALS DIDN'T

REALLY ATTACK HIM.

>> THE FIVE OPPONENTS TO MITT

ROMNEY REALLY DIDN'T HIT HIM

VERY HARD.

>> EVERYBODY THREW PUNCHES BUT

FEW OF THEM AT MITT ROMNEY.

>> Jon: WHEN IS SOMEONE GOING

TO KICK MITT ROMNEY IN THE

BALLS?

WE WANT TO KNOW.

WELL, IT TURNS OUT THE PRAYERS

WERE ANSWERED 10 HOURS LATER

ON THE LORD'S DAY.

>> MITT, I REALIZE THE RED

LIGHT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO

YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE THE

FRONTRUNNER.

>> IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO STAND

BEFORE THE PEOPLE OF

MASSACHUSETTS AND RUN ON YOUR

RECORD, IT WAS THAT GREAT.

WHY DID YOU BAIL OUT?

>> I WAS CRITICIZED LAST NIGHT

BY GOVERNOR ROMNEY FOR PUTTING

MY COUNTRY FIRST.

>> A RELATIVELY TIMID

MASSACHUSETTS MODERATE.

>> THIS NATION IS DIVIDED,

DAVID, BECAUSE OF ATTITUDE

LIKE THAT.

>> CAN WE DROP A LITTLE BIT OF

THE PIOUS BALOGNE.

THE FACT IS YOU RAN IN '94 AND

LOST.

THAT'S WHY YOU WEREN'T SERVING.

>> Jon: WAIT.

YOUR BALOGNE HAS A FIRST TIME

AND IT'S PIOUS?

THAT IS A TERRIBLE NAME FOR

BALOGNE.

MA'AM, CAN I HAVE A

SANCTIMONIOUS CHEESE SANDWICH

AND PIOUS BALOGNE.

NEWT GINGRICH CALLING SOMEONE

OUT FOR PIOUS BALOGNE.

THAT WOULD BE LIKE NEWT

GINGRICH WAXING POETIC ON THE

SANTITY OF MARRIAGE.

>> IT IS BASED ON A MAN AND

WOMAN AND HAS BEEN FOR 3,000

YEARS IS AT THE CORE OF OUR

CIVILIZATION AND SOMETHING

WORTH PROTECTING AND

UPHOLDING.

>> Jon: NOW THAT IS PIOUS

BALOGNE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

TO BE FAIR....

( APPLAUSE )

TO BE FAIR, JOHNNY THREE WIVES

IS RIGHT.

WE MUST PROTECT MARRIAGE FROM

GAY PEOPLE.

IT'S NOT ADAM AND STEVE.

IT'S ADAM AND EVE AND LATER

TRISH AND EVENTUALLY BARBARA.

ANYWAY, BUT WHAT OF THE

FRONTRUNNER MITT ROMNEY?

DID YOU MAINTAIN HIS LEAD

THROUGH FOUR HOURS OF

DEBATING?

HE WAS ABLE TO EXPRESS TO

THOUGHTS WITH NO RECOGNITION

THAT HE HAD JUST DONE SO.

HERE'S MITT ROMNEY, A,

DISAVOWING ANY KNOWLEDGE OF

THE SUPER PAC ADS NEWT

GINGRICH IS COMPLAINING ABOUT

AND THEN, B, DEFENDING THE

PRECISE CONTENT OF THOSE ADS

AND GO.

>> WITH REGARDS TO THE ADS, I

HAVEN'T SEEN THEM.

>> LET ME TELL YOU THIS, THE

AD I SAW SAID THAT YOU'VE BEEN

FORCED OUT OF THE SPEAKERSHIP.

THAT WAS CORRECT.

SAID YOU AT DOWN WITH NANCY

PELOSI AND ARGUED FOR A

CLIMATE CHANGE BILL.

THAT WAS CORRECT.

AS PART OF AN INVESTIGATION AN

ETHICS INVESTIGATION THAT YOU

HAD TO REIMBURSE SOME $3,000.

THOSE THINGS ARE ALL TRUE.

>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT

IS SPECIFICALLY IN THE ADS I

NEVER SAW.

THE WEIRD THING IS, WHY NOT

JUST DEFEND IT?

WE ALL KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

WHY WOULD YOU LIKE ABOUT THAT?

I REFUSE TO LOOK AT THOSE

STOLEN CELL PHONE PICTURES OF

SCARLET JOHANSSON.

WHAT'S UP WITH HOW GRAINY THEY

ARE?

I MEAN, NOBODY'S BODY IS THAT

PERFECT.

I MEAN, COME ON.

KIND OF A BAD MOMENT THERE FOR

MITT.

AT LEAST HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

TO REINFORCE THE OTHER ROM

NOTICE STEREOTYPE THAT HE'S

SOME SORT OF ELITIST OUT OF

TOUCH CAREER POLITICIAN.

>> I HAPPENED TO SEE MY DAD

RUN FOR GOVERNOR WHEN HE WAS

54 YEARS OLD.

HE HAD GOOD ADVICE TO ME.

HE SAID, "MITT, NEVER GET

INVOLVED IN POLITICS IF YOU

HAVE TO WIN ELECTION TO PAY A

MORTGAGE."

>> Jon: WHAT A RELATEABLE

STORY.

MITT, REMEMBER, ONLY RUN FOR

OFFICE WHEN YOU'RE RICH.

I REMEMBER MY FATHER TAKING ME

ASIDE DURING MY EARLY TEENAGE

YEARS, WE WERE PLAYING CATCH

IN THE YARD AND HE ADVISED ME

WITHHOLD RUNNING FOR OFFICE

UNTIL MY ASSETS HAD A RATIO OF

30 TO 1 INCLUDING OF THE

FOREIGN INDEMNITYS.

DAD!

ANYWAY, ROMNEY BEING ROMNEY

EVEN THIS WEEK ATTEMPT AT

RELATEABLE WAS DOOM TO

RELAXED.

>> WHEN I SAW TED KENNEDY

RUNNING IN 1994 A MAN BY

VIRTUE OF THE POLICIES OF THE

LIBERAL WELFARE STATE HAD

CREATED A PERMANENT UNDERCLASS

IN THE AMERICA.

I WAS HAPPY HE HAD TO TAKE A

MORTGAGE OUT ON HIS HOUSE TO

ULTIMATELY DEFENSE ME.

>> Jon: HE FORCED TED KENNEDY

MISSOURI MORTGAGE ONE OF HIS

HOUSES.

WHAT A WEIRD RICH GUY THING TO

BRAG ABOUT.

DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE

TIME I BESTED RICHARD BRAN

SENATE THAT ZIP LYNN AUCTION?

I DROVE UP THE BIDDING ON A

GOLD-PLATED DIRIGIBLE I DIDN'T

EVEN WANT.

BRANSON HAD TO SELL PART OF

HIS ARCHIPELAGO.

ALL OF THIS BRINGS US TO OUR

NEW DAILY SHOW SEGMENT: HOW IS

MITT ROMNEY KICKING ALL OF

YOUR ASSES?

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