Jerry Seinfeld

  • Aired:  07/16/14
  •  | Views: 43,488

"Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" creator Jerry Seinfeld discusses how much effort it takes to eat breakfast with comedians six times a year. (6:43)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT HAS A VERYDISTINCTIVE STYLE.

HIS WEB SERIES IS CALLED"COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING

COFFEE."

>> SO I USED TO PUT 50-POUNDBAGS OF LIME IN THE BACK.

WHEN I WENT TO MY PROM, I HAD TOTAKE THE GIRL IN MY GREMLIN,

SO I HAD A CAST, MR. JINXWHO HAD TO GO TO THE VET

ON MY PROM NIGHT.

>> JUST THE SETUP HERE.

IF YOU JUST STOP THERE, I LOVETHIS SETUP SO MUCH.

CATS, GREMLIN, PROM NIGHT, LIMEBAGS.

YOU GOT FOUR BARRELS OF COMEDY.

>> I THINK YOU KNOW WHERE THISIS GOING.

>> I DON'T CARE.

I'M ALREADY SATISFIED.

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TOTHE PROGRAM JERRY SEINFELD. SIR!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]YOUNG MAN. PLEASE.

I NEVER SAW THAT.

THE ANIMATION. I HADN'T SEENTHAT.

>> THE ANIMATION.

I HAD TO ANIMATE THE STORY.

>> Jon: I LOVED IT.

>> YEAH. SO, DID YOU KNOW THAT IDID THAT?

DID I TELL YOU THAT YOU DIDTHAT?

>> Jon: NO, NO, NO.

>> SO JON TELLS THIS HILARIOUSSTORY ON THE SHOW ABOUT HIS PROM

NIGHT... >> Jon: YES.

>> WHICH WAS SO COMPLICATED ANDBIZARRE WITH VARIOUS STENCHES

AND URINE AND BLEEDING --.

>> Jon: NOT MINE.

MOSTLY NOT MINE.

>> MOSTLY NOT YOURS.>> Jon: YES.

>> THAT SOMETIMES ON THESHOW WHEN SOMEONE TELLS A REALLY

CRAZY STORY, WE TURN ITINTO A CARTOON. SO WE DID THAT.

>> Jon: I LIKED IT VERY MUCH. MYFAVORITE PART OF

THE ANIMATION LOOKS LIKE MY HEADWITH ACNE.

>> WELL, THAT'S PROM NIGHT.

>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOUSOMETHING, THAT IS AN ACCURATE

REPRESENTATION OF MY HEAD. THISSHOW, I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW

EXCITED I WAS WHEN YOU ASKED METO DO THIS, BECAUSE NOW IT HAS

BECOME ONE OF THOSE SHOWS, LIKEWINNING AN AWARD...

>> REALLY?

>> Jon: LIKE WHEN YOU CALL ANDGO, DO YOU WANT TO BE

ON "COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTINGCOFFEE"?

I WAS LIKE, YES! I'VE MADE IT.

>> REALLY?

>> Jon: IT'S THAT KIND OF THATFOR COMEDIANS.

>> REALLY? OH, THAT'S GREAT.

>> Jon: YOU DON'T KNOW?

>> NO, I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUSTDOING,

WHEN YOU DO THE THING, YOU DON'TKNOW WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE.

>> Jon: NO, IT'S NOT, THIS ISNOT AN EVENING AT THE IMPROV.

WHERE YOU'RE THROWING UP...>> REALLY?

>> Jon: THIS IS A VERY SELECTCLUB THAT YOU'RE ALLOWING PEOPLE

INTO.>> OH WELL. YEAH.

>> Jon: I WAS VERY EXCITED.>> IT IS A VERY PERSONAL...

>> Jon: VERY PERSONAL.>> IT'S JUST LIKE PEOPLE THAT I

DIG FOR WHATEVERREASON OR ANOTHER. THAT'S...

>> Jon: AND HERE'S WHAT'S GREATABOUT IT, YOU'D BE DOING THIS

ANYWAY. >> ANYWAY.

YEAH.

I STILL HAVE TO EAT.

>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> AND GET A CUP OF COFFEE.

BUT I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO MAKEIT A SHOW.

>> Jon: AND YOU DO, I KNOW, YOUKNOW, YOU OFTEN GET BREAKFAST

WITH OTHER COMICS. YOU OFTEN GETCOFFEE WITH OTHER COMICS.

THIS IS, WHAT, SEASON WHAT?

>> FOUR.>> Jon: FOUR.

>> WELL, THEY'RE SHORT. THEY'REONLY SIX-EPISODE SEASONS.

>> Jon: SO YOU'RE REALLY PUTTINGIN THE TIME.

>> OH YEAH, YES, YES.

>> Jon: YOU'RE DOING SIXEPISODES OF SOMETHING YOU'D BE

DOING ANYWAY.

>> RIGHT. YEAH.

SO I'M HAVING BREAKFAST AT LEASTSIX TIMES A YEAR.

>> Jon: WITH COMEDIANS.

>> WITH COMEDIANS. YEAH.

>> Jon: DO YOU THINK WHEN THEPRODUCTION SCHEDULE BECOMES TOO

TAXING THE SHOW BECOMES"COMEDIANS IN CABS BRINGING

JERRY COFFEE?"

>> YES.

THAT COULD BE.

>> Jon: IT CHANGES.

>> YES.

JERRY PUTS HIS FEET UP. BURPS.AND THAT'S THE SHOW.

>> Jon: WE WENT OUT TO NEWJERSEY TO THIS DINER.

>> THE TICKTOCK.

>> Jon: THE TICKTOCK, WHICHTURNED OUT AND I DIDN'T KNOW,

BECAUSE YOU DON'T TELL PEOPLEWHERE THEY'RE GOING.

>>RIGHT.>> Jon:THE SHOW IS ABOUT TRUST.

>> YES.

>> Jon: YOU PULL UP AND SAY,GET IN MY CAR, AND WE JUST GO.

>> RIGHT.

SO JON IS THE SEASON FINALE OFSEASON FOUR, THOSE OF YOU THAT

ACTUALLY WATCH THE SHOW.

AND IT WAS GREAT EPISODE.

NOT ONLY DID WE TALK ABOUT DEATHAND CANCER, BUT WE FOUND A WAY

TO WORK IN HITLER ANDCONCENTRATION CAMPS.

WE DID.

>> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TODO?

>> AND CREMATION.>> Jon: AND CREMATION.

>> AND CREMATION.>> Jon: THAT IS TRUE. CREMATION

WAS IN THERE.

>> I TALKED HOW I WANTEDTO BE CREMATED AND

THE ASHES POURED ON A BEACH. >> Jon: YES.

>> AND YOU SAID, "DON'T YOU THEYWOULD DISTURB THE PEOPLE ON THE

BEACH.">> Jon: YES.

>> AND I SAID... DON'T YOUTHINK, SO YOU SAID, "WHAT ARE

YOU PEOPLE DOING"? WELL, WE'RESPREADING JERRY SEINFELD.

I THOUGHT PEOPLE WOULD GO, OH, ILOVE THAT SHOW.

>> OH, I LOVE THATSHOW. LET ME SEE THOSE ASHES.

IT TURNS OUT, SO THEDINER WE WENT TO, WHICH I DIDN'T

REALIZE, IS THE DINER, HOWWE GOT ONTO DEATH, AFTER MY

GRANDFATHER'S FUNERAL...>> YEAH. RIGHT. YEAH.

>> Jon: BECAUSE IF YOU TAKE METO NEW JERSEY ALMOST

ANYWHERE, CHANCES ARE ONE OF MYRELATIVES IS BURIED NEARBY.

AND SO WE WENT TO THIS DINER,AND THEN TO THE PET STORE.

>> AND THEN TO THE PET STORE.>> Jon: BECAUSE IT'S FUN.

>> SO, THERE'S ANOTHER THING IHAVE TO PLUG ON THE SHOW.

>> Jon: PLEASE.

>> WE CAME UP WITH A NEW... SOTHE SHOW, WE DO THESE SIX

EPISODES.>> Jon: YES.

>> THEN THE SHOW GOES AWAY FORLIKE FOUR MONTHS. WE CAME UP...

>> Jon: SURE. YOU HAVE TO REST.

>> WE HAVE TO REST.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, YOU PROBABLY,YOU GET OUT YOUR INHALER.

YOU GO TO...>> YEAH. YEAH. I'M TIRED FROM

THAT LITTLE PIECE OF TOAST...>> Jon: SURE.

>> YEAH. AND STIRRING THECOFFEE.

>> Jon: IT'S TERRIBLE.

>> YEAH. SO WHAT WE DIDIS WE MADE UP A NEW SHOW

THAT'S GOING TO EXIST BETWEENTHE SEASONS CALLED

SINGLE SHOT, WHICH IS LIKE ALITTLE ESPRESSO.

>> Jon: NICE.

>> SO EVERY THURSDAY NOW ATNOON, THERE'S GONNA BE

A TWO-MINUTE EPISODE WITH LIKEFIVE OR SIX COMEDIANS

TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THINGTHAT WE MADE FROM STUFF WE

ALREADY HAVE IN THE VAULT.

>> Jon: OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU SO[BLEEPED] LAZY.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, I'MOUR HERE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT,

NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, SEINFELD.

YOU'RE TAKING... YOU'RE JUSTHAVING...YOU DON'T EVEN DO IT.

YOU HAVE AN EDITOR.

>> AND, I HAVE ALREADY BEEN THEGUY WHO PISSES YOU OFF THE MOST

BECAUSE THE WAY I FIGURED OUTTV, THAT YOU DO IT ONCE AND THEN

YOU GET TO STOP.

>> Jon: I KNOW. I KNOW. HE IS...CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

>> SO NOW I'VE DONE ITAGAIN. I'VE DONE IT AGAIN.

>> Jon: I KNOW.>> I'VE DONE IT AGAIN.

>> Jon: I KNOW. IT'S SOBRILLIANT.

I ALWAYS SAY TO HIM, YOU DID THEPERFECT SHOW, YOU DID IT FOR THE

PERFECT AMOUNT OF TIME,AND IT LIVES ON, I STILL WATCH

YOUR SHOW EVER NIGHT. >> YEAH.

>> Jon: WHEN I LEAVE HERE,THAT'S IT. DEAD. NOTHING.

>> THAT'S IT. NOONE IS WATCHING. YEAH.

>> Jon: NOBODY CARES. I LEAVEHERE, MY ASHES ARE SPREAD ON

THE... YEAH IT DOESN'T MATTER.

>> YEAH. THEY'RE GONE.

>> Jon: BRILLIANT STUFF.

WELL, AS ALWAYS, IT'S ALWAYS SONICE TO SEE YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: ONE OF MY FAVORITES,YOUNG MAN.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: "COMEDIANS IN CARSGETTING COFFEE" AT COMEDIANS IN

CARS GETTING COFFEE DOT COM.

JERRY SEINFELD.

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