Where Are We Now?

  • Aired:  01/27/14
  •  | Views: 71,617

MSNBC interrupts a national security expert to report on Justin Bieber's arrest, and Ted Cruz claims to have no regrets about not shutting down the government. (5:44)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THESHOW.

NOW TOMORROW NIGHT, TOMORROWNIGHT PRESIDENT WILL ADDRESS THE

STATE OF OUR UNION.

LET'S GET A JUMP ON WITH ITWITH OUR OWN CHECK ON SOME OFSOCIETY'S

INSTITUTIONS IN OUR NEW SEGMENTWHERE ARE WE NOW?

MAYBE THE PRESIDENT HAS TIME TOCOVER THE WHOLEUNION, BUT I HAVE A HALF HOUR,AND

A THIRD OF THAT IS TAKEN UPWITH JEFF GARLIN.

STAY TUNED TONIGHT FOR JEFFGARLIN FROM THE HIT SHOW "THE

GOLDBERGS."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]I KNOW I'VE SEEN HIM IN OTHER

THINGS BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'SONLY "THE GOLDBERGS."

THE NEWS MEDIA IS LOOKINGSTRONG.

LAST WEEK, FOR INSTANCE, MSNBCRAN A SURPRISINGLY SUBSTANTIVE

DEBATE ABOUT GOVERNMENTSURVEILLANCE.

WANTS RECOMMENDATIONS BUT ITHINK AT THIS POINT WE SHOULD

SERIOUSLY CONSIDER NOT -->> LET ME INTERRUPT YOU.

CONGRESSWOMAN LET ME INTERRUPTYOU FOR A MOMENT.

WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS OUT OFMIAMI.

>> Jon: BREAKING NEWS THAT ISMORE URGENT THAN THE GOVERNMENT

SPYING ON AMERICANS AND FROMMIAMI?

DID MIAMI'S SOUND MACHINESPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST KILLING

MILLIONS?

IT WOULD BE THE GREATEST TRAGEDYSINCE THE GREAT C AND C MUSIC

FACTORY FIRE OF 1911.

TELL ME IT'S NOT THAT.

>> STAND BY IF YOU WILL, INMIAMI JUSTIN BIEBER HAS BEEN

ARRESTED ON A NUMBER OF CHARGES.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE][AUDIENCE BOOS]

>> Jon: THEY ARE NOT BOOINGTHEY ARE SAYING BOO-BER.

YOU INTERRUPTED A FORMERCONGRESSWOMAN AND NATIONAL

SECURITY EXPERT FOR SOMETHINGJUSTIN BIEBER DID?

UNLESS HE CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKEIN JAPAN I DOUBT IT WAS WORTH

IT.

STILL THE MEDIA FLOODED THE ZONEFOR BIEBER'S DRAG RACING ARREST

WITH CNN IN PARTICULAR PULLINGOUT THE STOPS WITH A SPECIAL

REPORT WITH FOOTAGE LIFTED FROMTMZ TESTIMONY FROM THREE FORMER

CHILD STARS AND STATE OF THE ARTCGI SIMULATION.

>> WHEN HE RACED AGAINST AFERRARI ON A QUIETSTRETCH OF

BEACH BOTH VEHICLES NEARLY TWICETHE SPEED LIMIT.

TWO BLACK S.U.V.S BLOCKING THEROADWAY.

>> Jon: AND THEN YOSHI HIT AKOOPA SHELL AND PAC MAN AND WHOSHOWS UP, JUST

IN TIME TO BEAT UP HOOKERS OH,THE HUMANITY.

[ LAUGHTER ]POINT IS.

WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA OFCOVERAGE.

WHAT ABOUT OUR ELECTEDREPRESENTATIVE.

SENATOR TED CRUZ OF TEXAS.POTENTIAL PRESIDENTIALCANDIDATE,

LEADING LIGHT OF THE REPUBLICANPARTY.

A FEW MONTHS AGO HE PUSHED THEG.O.P. TO SHUT DOWN THE

GOVERNMENT ANY REGRETS?

>> I SAID WE SHOULDN'T SHUT THEGOVERNMENT DOWN.

>> IF YOU DIDN'T THREATEN TOSHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT WHO

DID?

>> HARRY REID AND PRESIDENTOBAMA.

>> Jon: I DON'T REMEMBER ITTHAT WAY.

THERE IS JUST ONE THING ABOUTTHAT.

>> SENATOR JOHN CORNYN SAID ITMIGHT BE NECESSARY TO PARTIALLYSHUT

DOWN THE GOVERNMENT IN ORDER TOSECURE THE LONG-TERM FISCAL WELL

BEING OF THE COUNTRY.

>> WE SHUT THE GOVERNMENT DOWN.

>> WE WILL DO WHAT WE HAVE TODO, SHUTDOWN THE GOVERNMENT IF

WE HAVE.

>> Tom: THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOSHUT DOWN.

>> I SAY SHUT IT DOWN.

>> Jon: LOOKS LIKE WE GOTOURSELVES ONE OF THOSE HE SAID,

ACTUAL VIDEOTAPE RECORDINGS OFTHE EVENTS AT THE TIME SAID

DISAGREEMENTS.

I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW THETRUTH.

YOU CAN LEARN MORE ABOUT WHATHAPPENED AT TED CRUZ'SREIMAGINING IN

CRUZ YOUR OWN ADVENTURE FROM THENORTHERN STATES' SECESSION FROMTHE

CONFEDERACY TO MOON MAN NEILARMSTRONG'S HISTORIC LANDING ONEARTH.

IF TED CRUZ REMEMBERS IT THATWAY, THEN IT'S TRUE. SO THAT'SWHERE OUR

REPRESENTATIVES ARE AT WHATABOUT THE CIVIL SERVANTS

DOING THE REAL WORK OFGOVERNMENT AT THE STATEDEPARTMENT.

>> IT'S A PRIVILEGE TO INTRODUCEGEORGE TSUNIS THE NOMINEE FOR

THE AMBASSADOR TO NORWAY.

HE IS A PERFECT CANDIDATE FORAMBASSADOR.

>> Jon: GOOD FOR HIM.

I SURE PEOPLE LAUGHED AT HIMWHEN HE MAJORED IN NORWEGIAN

POLITICAL SCIENCE AND MINORED INFJORDS.

WHO IS LAUGHING NOW?

>> HAVE YOU BEEN TO NORWAY?

>> NO.

>> Jon: BEEN TO NORWAY?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT PLACE ISA FROZEN (bleep).

I WOULDN'T (bleep) WITH SWEDEN(bleep) YOU KNOW WHAT I'MSAYING?

SO DID I GET THE JOBOR WHAT?

COME ON.

WHY ON EARTH DID PRESIDENT OBAMANOMINATE A GUY WHO HAS NEVER

BEEN TO NORWAY TO BE THEAMBASSADOR OF NORWAY IN THE

FIRST PLACE.

>> HE RAISED NEARLY $850,000 FORTHE PRESIDENT'S REELECTION

CAMPAIGN.

>> Jon: CAN WE PULL UP THE LIVEFEED FROM NORWAY RIGHT ABOUT

NOW?

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

THINGS ARE LOOKING PRETTY BADFOR EVERYTHING BUT LET'S NOT

FORGET, WE DON'T HAVE TO GO INTHAT DIRECTION WE HAVE A NEW

INSPIRATIONAL POPE.

NO MATTER HOW TOUGH THINGS SEEMWE CAN FIND SOLACE AT LEAST INHIS

PROFOUND MESSAGE OF PEACE.

HE DEMONSTRATED THAT AGAIN WITHA MOVING PRAYER FOLLOWED

BY THE SYMBOLIC RELEASE OF TWOWHITE DOVES.

>> ONE OF THE DOVES WAS ACTUALLYATTACKED BY A SEAGULL THE OTHER

BY A BLACK CROW.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: OKAY.

YOU MAY SEE THAT AS A CHILLINGOMEN OF PEACE, TORN ASUNDER

BY THE FORCES OF VIOLENT CHAOS.

I SEE A BLACK CROW AND A WHITESEAGULL PUTTING ASIDE THEIR

DIFFERENCES TO WORK TOGETHER.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE FINE.[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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