Trump-o-Gram

  • Aired:  05/30/12
  •  | Views: 24,201

On the day Mitt Romney celebrates clinching the Republican nomination, he also holds a fundraiser with reality show host Donald Trump. (3:30)

SERIOUSLY, I HOPE HE ( BLEEP ) KILLS ME NOW.

THIS ELECTION IS GOING TO SUCK.

IT'S A GOOD THING I GET TWO WEEKS OFF EVERY OTHER WEEK.

( LAUGHTER ) I MIGHT AS WELL RESIGN MYSELF TO THE LONG SLOG TO NOVEMBER WITH

NO RAY OF LIGHT O'ER HOPE.

>> OOOOOH!

♪ ♪ ♪

>> Jon: WHAT-- COMEDY GODS?

IS THAT YOU?

DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING FOR ME?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF WELL-TIMED GAG GIFT.

( LAUGHTER ) SUPPORTED BY 60-POUND TEST WIRE.

COULD IT BE?

NO!

IN MY DESPAIR OVER NOT HAVING GOOD ELECTION MATERIAL, HAVE THE COMEDY GODS DELIVERED UNTO ME A TRUMP-O-GRAM.

( APPLAUSE ) LET'S SEE WHOSE INSIDE.

HOLD ON.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S INSIDE.

>> DONALD TRUMP DOUBLING DOWN TODAY ON HIS BIRTHY CLAIMS ABOUT PRESIDENT OBAMA.

>> OH!

THANK YOU GILDA RADNER, GORGE CARL AND I KNOW RICHARD PRYOR,

YES, THE COMEDY GODS DELIVER.

HE HOLDS A FUND RAISE WER REALITY SHOW HOST AND ANTIQUE DOLL HAIR THIEF DONALD TRUMP,

GIVING TRUMP AN EXCUSE TO DO PHONE INTERVIEWS ON NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT THREE SEPARATE CABLE

NEWS NETWORKS.

>> I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF BIRTHER OR NOT BIRTHER.

BUT THERE'S A MAJOR QUESTION HERE, AND THE PRESS DOESN'T WANT TO COVER IT.

THE PRESS JUST REFUSES TO COVER IT.

>> Jon: THAT IS A SHOT OF PURE IMPORTED RARE, SINGLE MALT BLACK TAR TRUMP RESIN.

NOT BECAUSE TRUMP'S COMPLAINING THAT THE PRESS REFUSES TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS LONG-DEAD

BIRTHER ISSUE BUT BECAUSE OF HOW TRUMP RESPONDS LATER THAT SAME DAY TO THE PROCESS' QUESTIONS

ABOUT THIS LONG-DEAD BIRTHER ISSUE.

>> Reporter: TELL US WHAT YOUR PEOPLE WHO WERE INVESTIGATING IN HAWAII WHAT, THEY FOUND?

>> WE DON'T HAVE TO GO INTO OLD NEWS.

NOW, IT'S APPROPRIATE, I THINK,

THAT WE GET TO THE SUBJECT OF HAND WHICH IS JOBS, WHICH IS THE ECONOMY, WHICH IS HOW OUR

COUNTRY IS NOT DOING WELL AT ALL UNDER THIS LEADERSHIP, WHICH IS REALLY THE THINGS I WANTED TO

TALK TO YOU ABOUT, BUT YOU LIKE TO KEEP GOING BACK TO THE PLACE OF BIRTH.

>> Jon: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

( LAUGHTER ) NOBODY'S MAN ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT THE BIRTHER ISSUE.

( BLEEP ) YOU FOR BRINGING IT UP.

WATCH THIS LITTLE BIT OF BITTERER TRUMP.

>> THE STATE OF HAWAII SAYS IT IS OFFICIAL, HE WAS BORN IN HAWAII OTHIS DATE, HERE IT IS,

WHY DO YOU DENY THAT?

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE DO NOT THINK IT WAS AN AUTHENTIC CERTIFICATE.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHEN YOU SAY "MANY PEOPLE." --

>> MANY PEOPLE.

>> LIKE WHO, GIVE ME THE NAMEAVE PERSON IN AUTHORITY THAT-- GIVE ME A NAME.

>> THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE-- I DON'T GIVE NAMES.

THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE THAT DO NOT BELIEVE THAT BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS AUTHENTIC.

>> Jon: LISTEN, I DON'T GIVE NAMES.

I CAN'T.

YOU LOOK AT MY POSSESSIONS.

THE ONLY NAME I KNOW IS TRUMP.

I USE IT LIKE THE SMURFS USE SMURFS, SO

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