Gaywatch - International Edition

  • Aired:  06/13/13
  •  | Views: 94,852

France's anti-gay protests look gayer than America's pro-gay protests, Russia criminalizes homosexuality, and Pope Francis acknowledges the Vatican gay lobby. (6:25)

SO WE HAVE CLEARLY STILL GOT A

WAYS TO GO AT HOME.

WHAT ABOUT OVERSEAS?

WHERE PEOPLE ARE FAMOUSLY MORE

ENLIGHTENED ABOUT THESE ISSUES.

LET'S CHECK IN WITH TONIGHT'S

INSTALLMENT OF "GAYWATCH:

INTERNATIONAL EDITION."

( LAUGHTER )

BROUGHT TO YOU BY INTERNATIONAL

MALE.

INTERNATIONAL MALE, SELL MESH

UNDERPANTS FOR PRETEND PIRATES

SINCE 1974.

OUR FIRST STOP, OUR FIRST STOP

ON THIS TRIP, FRANCE, WHICH

RECENTLY LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE,

A MOVE THAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME

WAS MET WITH THE TRADITIONAL

NATIONWIDE TBALLIC SHRUG.

>> VIOLENCE ERUPTED ACROSS PARIS

AS DEMONSTRATORS SWARMED TO THE

STREET OVER FRANCE'S LAW

ALLOWING GAY MARRIAGE.

THERE WERE 150,000

DEMONSTRATORS.

>> John: REALLY.

>> BOOOO!

>> John: I DID NOT EXPECT

THAT.

I GUESS THEY JUST FEEL VERY

STRONGLY ABOUT PRESERVING

TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE IN FRANCE,

WHICH SOF COURSE, ONE MAN, ONE

WOMAN, AND HER SISTER, AND THEIR

MAID, AND THE COLLEGE-AGE

DAUGHTER FRIEND WHO STAYED WITH

THEM DURING THE SUMMER-- YOU

KNOW, TRADITIONAL FRENCH

MARRIAGE, LIKE GOD INTENDED.

ACTUALLY, CAN WE SEE SOME OF THE

THAT PROTEST FOOTAGE AGAIN?

QUICK QUESTION--

( LAUGHTER )

HOW IS IT THAT FRANCE'S ANTIGAY

PROTESTS LOOK SO MUCH GAYER THAN

OUR PRO-GAY PROTESTS?

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

YOU CAN'T BE A GAY-- WHAT-- AND

THAT WASN'T EVEN FRANCE'S GAYEST

ANTIGAY PROTEST.

>> FIREWORKS AT THE FRENCH OPEN

THIS WEEKEND.

HAD NOTHING TO DO, THOUGH, WITH

TENNIS.

A MASKED, BARE CHESTED PROTESTER

LEAPED ON TO THE COURT AND LIT A

FLARE OVER FRANCE'S DECISION TO

LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE.

>> John: LISTEN, I DON'T WANT

TO BE IN THE POSITION OF GIVING

TIPS TO BIGOTED ANTIGAY FORCES,

BUT JUST IN TERMS OF PURE

MESSAGE DISCIPLINE YOU MIGHT

WANT TO GO WITH SOMETHING THAT

DOESN'T SO MUCH SCREAM AUDITION

PIECE FOR CIRQUE DU SOLEIL.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

NOW, LIKE, PEOPLE CAN PROTEST

ALL THEY WANT, BUT WITH VOTES

HAPPENING ACROSS EUROPE,

MARRIAGE EQUALITY SEEMS TO BE

TAKING ROOT.

WHAT NATIONAL GOVERNMENT WOULD

TODAY HAVE THE BALLS TO SAY THAT

GAYS ARE NOT EQUAL CITIZENS WITH

EQUAL RIGHTS?

>> THE LOWER HOUSE OF PARLIAMENT

IN RUSSIA VOTED OVERWHELMINGLY

TODAY FOR A BILL THAT TARGETS

GAYS.

>> John: OKAY, RUSSIA, YEAH,

RUSSIA.

( LAUGHTER )

ACTUALLY QUITE A FEW, BUT RUSSIA

WOULD DEFINITELY BE AMONG THEM.

SO SPECIFICALLY, WHAT'S IN THIS

BILL?

THE RUSSIAN PARLIAMENT HAS VOTED

ALMOST UNANIMOUSLY TO PASS A LAW

TO PUNISH THE PROMOTION OF

HOMOSEXUALITY WITH FINES AND

JAIL TERMS GLAIN THAT IS TUG

ACTUALLY SMART BECAUSE NOTHING

REDUCES INCIDENTSES OF

HOMOSEXUALITY LIKE A LENGTHY

JAIL TERM.

( LAUGHTER )

THAT'S SOME VISIONARY THINKING.

SO FAR, THIS BILL WAS ACTUALLY

ONLY PASSED BY THE LOWER HOUSE

OF PARLIAMENT, SO WHAT HAPPENS

NOW?

>> THE BILL NOW GOES TO THE

SENATE BEFORE BEING SIGNED INTO

LAW BY PRESIDENT PUTIN.

THAT'S CONSIDERED TO BE A

FORMALITY.

>> John: I WOULDN'T ACTUALLY

BE SO SURE ABOUT THAT.

REMEMBER, THIS IS THE MAN THAT

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

♪ ♪ ♪

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

SERIOUSLY, AT THIS POINT, I

FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT VLADIMIR

PUTIN IS THREE MONTHS SHY OF

HAVING HIS OWN CALENDAR.

COME ON, COME ON.

WE CAN COME UP WITH A BETTER

TITLE THAN THAT.

BETTER.

YES.

THERE IT IS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THAT IS THE PERFECT ONE.

SO GAYS ARE COMING UNDER ATTACK

IN BOTH FRANCE AND RUSSIA, BUT

THERE IS ONE PLACE WHERE,

APPARENTLY, THEY HAVE FOUND A

HOME.

>> A STUNNING REVELATION COMING

FROM THE HEAD OF THE CATHOLIC

CHURCH.

POPE FRANCIS SAYS THERE IS A GAY

LOBBY AT THE VATICAN.

>> John: I DON'T KNOW IF I

CALL A VATICAN GAY LOBBY A

STUNNING REVELATION, REALLY.

THE WHOLE BUILDING IS BASICALLY

A LIBERACE FEVER DREAM, UNLESS

YOU DON'T MEAN AN ARCHITECTUAL

LOBBY.

>> "GAY LOBBY" I THINK IS KIND

OF A CONFUSING TERM.

WE USE LOBBY TO MEAN SOMEBODY

PUTTING FORTH A CERTAIN AGENDA.

>> I'M SORRY, I WASN'T LISTENING

TO A WORD THAT MAN WAS SAYING

BECAUSE I WAS LOST IN HIS EYES.

LOOK AT THEM, SO PIERCING BLUE.

IT'S AS IF ANDERSON COOPER AND A

SIBERIAN HUSKY MADE LOVE AND HAD

A BABY.

I WANT ONE OF THOSE.

I WANT ONE OF THOSE.

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY, FATHER McDREAMY,

YOU WERE SAYING THAT LOBBY IS

NOT A GOOD WORD FOR IT.

>> PROBABLY A BETTER WORD WOULD

BE "GAY CABAL," "GAY CLIQUE."

>> John: RIGHT AND OTHER NOUNS

INCLUDE A GAY BRUNCH AIR, MAN

PILE.

A CABIN CREW.

AND OSCAR PARTY OR A PALM

SPRINGS TRAFFIC JAM.

( LAUGHTER )

IF THERE IS A GAY LOBBY, WHAT IS

IT THAT THEY WANT?

HOW MUCH DAMAGE COULD THEY DO?

>> SO THERE HAVE BEEN LONG RUMOR

HERE'S THAT THE GAY LOBBY DROVE

POPE BENEDICT FROM THE CHURCH.

>> John: THAT IS JUST

RIDICULOUS.

A GAY LOBBY DID NOT DRIVE POPE

BENEDICT FROM THE CHURCH BECAUSE

IF THEY HAD, IT WOULD HAVE

LOOKED LIKE THIS.

♪ ♪ ♪

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> John: YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT,

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF

AN EXIT.

THE BOTTOM LINE TO ALL OF THIS

IS NO MATTER WHAT COUNTRY YOU

LIVE IN, WHAT RELIGION YOU

BELONG TO, IT SEEMS CRAZY THAT

IN THIS DAY AND AGE, ANYONE HAS

A PROBLEM WITH WHICH GENDER YOU

WANT TO, UHM-- WHAT'S THE

PHRASE?

>> WHAT TO DO SEX WITH EACH

OTHER.

( CHEERS AND APPLA

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