Show Me the Money -- So That I Can Take It and Put It in a Place Where You Cannot Find It

  • Aired:  02/27/14
  •  | Views: 53,058

Bitcoin exchange site Mt. Gox gets a few pointers on creating institutionalized fraud and fomenting public protests from banking giants Credit Suisse and Goldman Sachs. (4:25)

LISTEN BITCOIN EXCHANGE, YOU'VEGOT A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT BEING A

FINANCIAL PLAYERYOU DON'T JUST COMMIT BRAZEN

FRAUD INONE FELL SWOOP.

>> YOU INSTITUTIONALIZE ANDNORMALIZE SYSTEMIC FRAUD

WHICH BRINGS TO US OUR NEWSEGMENT, SHOW ME THE MONEY!

SO I CAN TAKE IT AND PUT INA PLACE WHERE YOU CAN NO

LONGER FIND IT.

CHECK OUT HOW A ROFESSIONALLYCORRUPT FINANCIAL

INSTITUTION DOES BUSINESS.

>> BANKING GIANT CREDITSUISSE HELPED THOUSANDS OF

WEALTHY AMERICANS HIDEBILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM THE

IRS OVERSEAS.

>> A WEALTHY CUSTOMER HIDINGA QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS IN

PANTY HOSE WRAPPED AROUNDHER BODY-- .

>> Jon: [BLEEP] SUISSE, LETME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

A DECENT COUNTRY AT AMINIMUM WOULD MAKE THESE TAX

DODGERS AT LEAST SMUGGLE ITIN THEIR ASSES.

MAKE THEM EARN THAT TAXEXEMPT STATUS.

AT THE VERY LEAST MAKE THEMSWALLOW A CONDOM FULL OF

NICKELS.

BY THE WAY, WORST SEQUEL TOFISTFUL OF DOLLARS EVER.

BECAUSE YOU SEE MTGOXYOUR BRAZEN BITCOIN FRAUD MEANS

WILL YOU SPEND YOUR DAYSHUNTED DOWN BY EVERY

INTERNATIONAL HIGH-TECH LAWENFORCEMENT AGENCY KNOWN TO

MAIN.

MEANWHILE IF YOU WOULD HAVEINSTITUTIONALIZED YOUR

CORRUPTION THIS WOULD BE THEPENALTY YOU WOULD HAVE FACED.

>> CREDIT SUISSE'SMANAGEMENT TEAM REGRETS VERY

DEEPLY THAT DESPITE THEINDUSTRY-LEADING COMPLIANCE

MEASURES WE PUT IN PLACE, WEHAD SOME SWISS-BASED PRIVATE

BANKERS WHO APPEAR TO HAVEVIOLATED U.S. LAW.

>> Jon: IT TURNS OUT YOU DIDNOT WANT THIS MONEY HIDDEN

FROM YOUR TAX LAWS.

(LAUGHTER)SO SORRY.

(LAUGHTER)I HAVE BROUGHT YOU

MULTI-COLORED SWATCHES.

(LAUGHTER)SWATCH FOR YOU, SWATCH FOR

YOU.

SO WE'RE GOOD NOW.

(LAUGHTER)ONCE YOU GET IN AND MAKE

YOURSELF A CORNERSTONE IN THEFINANCIAL MARKETPLACE THERE

IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU MAYACCOMPLISH/PERPETRATE.

>> FIRST OF ALL, HOW DIDGOLDMAN SACHS COME TO OWN

URANIUM?

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: GO ON.

>> GOLDMAN ITSELF ACTUALLYCAME INTO THE URANIUM MARKET

JUST IN 2009.

IT BOUGHT A WIDER TRADINGDESK WHICH HAPPENED TO OWN

THIS COMPANY CALLED NUFCORINTERNATIONAL, THEY'RE

MEANT TO BE SITTING ONAPPROXIMATELY TWO AND A HALF

THOUSAND TONS OF YELLOW CAKEAT THIS TIME.

>> Jon: OH MY GOD GOLDMANSACHS IS GOING TO HAVE A

NUCLEAR WEAPON BEFORE IRAN!

(LAUGHTER)HERE'S HOW BAD ASS GOLDMAN

IS NOW.

JUST THE THOUGHT OF THEM CANTOPPLE A GOVERNMENT.

>> THE DANISH CENTER LEFTCOALITION IN POWER SINCE

2011 HAS BEEN PLUNGED INTOITS DEEPEST POLITICAL CRISIS

BY THE INVESTMENT FROMGOLDMAN SACHS.

>> Jon: ALL THEY HAD TO DOWAS INVEST MONEY IN THE

COUNTRY AND THE WHOLECOUNTRY WAS LIKE [BLEEP] IT

WE'RE LEAVING.

WHAT DID GOLDMANINVEST IN OVER THERE.

>> PROTESTORS ARE ANGRYABOUT GOLDMAN'S 1.5 BILLION

INVESTMENT IN STATE-OWNEDUTILITY DONG ENERGY.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: DONG ENERGY, HUH?

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: DONG ENERGY, HUH?

I THINK THEY SELL THAT AT ABODEGA NEAR MY HOUSE.

(LAUGHTER)SUPPOSEDLY MADE FROM REAL

GIRAFFE BALLS BUT I DON'TKNOW, IT'S UNREGULATED.

NOT THAT I DIDN'T GETRESULTS WITH IT BUT IT'S

HARDLY WORTH $1.5 BILLIONINVESTMENT, UNLESS I'M

SOMEHOW MISINTERPRETINGEVERYTHING ABOUT THE

CORPORATION DONG ENERGYBECAUSE OF THE RELATIVELY

JUVENILE ATTACHMENT TO THEWORD DONG.

(LAUGHTER)BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, LOOK HOW

THE DANISH PEOPLE TOOK TOTHE STREETS.

YOU KNOW YOU'VE MADE IT AS ACORPORATION WHEN THE

MAJORITY OF THE COUNTRY ISWILLING TO BRAVE SUBZERO

TEMPERATURES TO KEEP YOU OUTOF ITS COUNTRY WHEN YOU

HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHINGYET.

ARE YOU THERE YET, BITCOIN?

OH, THERE YOU GO.

THAT'S-- YEAH.

WELL, THAT'S THE START OF APROTEST.

ARE YOU SURE THAT PROTESTISN'T BASED ON MAGIC OF THE

TINY GATHERING?

>>(LAUGHTER)

BABY STEPS, BITCOIN, WE'LL BERIGHT BACK.

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