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February 26, 2015 - Olivia Wilde

  • Episode: 20067
  • Views: 131,845

Several whistleblowers are penalized after exposing misconduct, Hasan Minhaj tackles inequality among the 1%, and Olivia Wilde discusses her film "The Lazarus Effect." (21:28)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO"THE DAILY SHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOT A GOOD ONE TONIGHT, OH MYGUEST, THE GREAT OLIVIA WILDE

IS GOING TO BE JOINING US FROMTHE MOVIE THERE

"THE LAZARUS EFFECT."

BUT FIRST, HSBC, HONG KONGSHANGHAI, IT'S ONE OF BRITAIN'S

LARGEST FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS,IT FOUND ITSELF IN A SPOT OF

STICKY PUDDING A COUPLE OF YEARSAGO AFTER THE BANK WAS

CAUGHT KNOWINGLY LAUNDERINGNEARLY $1 BILLION IN DRUG MONEY.

YOU HEARD THE GASP.

( LAUGHTER )WHAT?

WHAT'S THAT?

AND LIKE IN MOST CASES OF DRUGCARTEL MONEY LAUNDERING, THE

PERPETRATORS WERE SENT STRAIGHTTO PAY A FINE.

( LAUGHTER )CASE CLOSED.

>> BRITISH BANK HSBC IS UNDERFIRE AGAIN.

THE COMPANY'S SWISS BANKING ARMIS ACCUSED OF HELPING CLIENTS

HIDE BILLIONS OF ASSETS FROMINTERNATIONAL TAX AUTHORITIES

BEFORE 2007.

>> Jon: STILL BREAKING THEMOTHER ( BLEEP ) LAW?

I KNOW YOU'RE BRITISH BUT "KEEPCALM AND CARRY ON" WASN'T MEANT

TO APPLY TO MAJOR FINANCIALCRIMES.

BIG MISTAKE HSBC. THINKING YOUCOULD HIDE IN SWITZERLAND?

WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN,

WHERE THERE'S CHEESE, THERE'S ARAT.

>> NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVESURFACED HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR

THIS MAN, HERVE FALCIANI, ANHSBC COMPUTER SECURITY

SPECIALIST AT THE GENEVA,SWITZERLAND BRANCH.

( LAUGHTER )>> Jon: HANDSOME FALCIANI IS A

COMPUTER SECURITY SPECIALIST.

WITH A FACE LIKE THAT, HE'SGOING TO HAVE TO INSTALL A

FIREWALL, IN MY HEART.

BUT GOOD ON HIM!

THE WHISTLEBLOWER FALCIANI HASDONE THE WORLD ECONOMY A GREAT

SERVICE.

HOW MANY MEDALS OF HONORS ANDKEYS TO THE CITY DID THEY GIVE

THIS GENTLEMAN?

>> IN DECEMBER, SWISSAUTHORITIES CHARGED HIM WITH

INDUSTRIAL ESPIONAGE.

HE ENDED UP IN A SPANISH JAILFOR FIVE MONTHS FIGHTING

EXTRADITION AND MADE COURTAPPEARANCES WEARING DISGUISES,

SAYING SHE FEARED HEAR HIS LIFE.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Jon: JUDGING FROM THATDISGUISE YOU SHOULD BE CHARGED

WITH SABOTAGE! CALLING ALL Y'ALLWITH THE SABOTAGE!

ALRIGHT, YOU GOTTA GO WITH THEBEASTIES.

SO, THAT'S THE DISGUISE YOUSHOULD GO WITH THERE,

THE ONE THAT MAKES YOU LOOKALMOST EXACTLY LIKE YOURSELF?

( LAUGHTER )EVEN THE BIKERS WHO WANTED FRUIT

ON THEIR IHOP PANCAKES PUT INMORE EFFORT TO THEIR DISGUISES.

WHAT WAS THIS GUY THINKING?

BUT I FEEL BAD FOR FALCIANI.

HIS HEART WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACEBUT HIS WHISTLE BLOWING WAS IN

THE WRONG ONE.

IF HE TRIED THAT SAMETHING IN AMERICA, THINGS MIGHT

HAVE TURNED OUT VERYDIFFERENTLY.

>> A PENNSYLVANIA ACCOUNTANTTURNED IN HIS EMPLOYER FOR

FAILING TO PAY TAXES.

THE ACCOUNTANT HAS JUST BEENAWARD NEARLY A QUARTER OF THE

$20 MILLION THE IRS RECOVERED.

>> A FORMER COUNTRY WIDEEXECUTIVE IS COLLECTING A $57

MILLION AWARD.

>> A WHISTLEBLOWER IS RECEIVING$63 MILLION FOR INSIDER

INFORMATION ABOUT BAD BEHAVIORIN JPMORGAN'S MORTGAGE DIVISION.

>> Jon: IN AMERICAN FINANCESNITCHES DON'T GET STITCHES.

SNITCHES GET RICHES, BITCHS.

YOU KNOW WHY? YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE IN AMERICA, WE RESPECTAND REWARD THOSE WITH THE

COURAGE TO SAY, HEY, WHAT'SGOING ON HERE IS WRONG.

I'M GOING TO TAKE A RISK FOR THEPEOPLE MUST KNOW OF THIS.

>> THOMAS DRAKE, WHO THOUGHTTHAT TAXPAYER MONEY WAS BEING

WASTED ON USELESS INTELLIGENCEGATHERING PROJECTS WHILE

PROMISING TECHNOLOGY WASIGNORED.

DRAKE TRIED TO GET THE WORD OUT.

>> Jon: GOTTA LOVE THEDRAKE.

N.S.A. GOVERNMENT WORKER SEESBUREAUCRATIC WASTE, FRAUD, AND

ABUSE, THREATENING OUR NATIONALSECURITY, AND HE BLOWS THE

WHISTLE ON IT.

HOW MUCH REWARD MONEY DID HEGET?

>> AS A RESULT, HE'S BEENCHARGED UNDER THE ESPIONAGE ACT.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Jon: WHAT THE ( BLEEP )?

I ASSUME YOU MEAN THE RARELYENFORCED PROVISION OF THE

ESPIONAGE ACT THAT INVOLVESREWARDING WHISTLEBLOWERS WITH

MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ANDUNLIMITED BLOW JOBS.

( LAUGHTER )IS THERE-- BY THE WAY, IS THERE

ANYTHING THAT REWARDS YOU WITHTHAT IN THE WORLD?

OTHER THAN PLAYING IN A BAND.

MAYBE I'M MISUNDERSTANDING WHATSINISTER FOREIGN POWER DID THIS

GUY SELL OUR CLASSIFIED WASTEFULSPENDING SECRETS TO.

>> BLAKE CONTACTED "BALTIMORESUN" REPORTER SIOBHAN GORMAN.

>> DID YOU EVER COMMUNICATECLASSIFIED INFORMATION TO

SIOBHAN GORMAN?

>> NOT ONCE EVER, IT WAS ALLUNCLASSIFIED, PERIOD.

>> Jon: OKAY, MIGHT HAVEBEEN UNCLASSIFIED BUT THAT

DOESN'T MEAN THE GOVERNMENTWANTED YOU TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT

IT.

THAT'S BASIC BRO-CODE -- BROSBEFORE EXPOSED.

CONTINUED WASTEFUL SPENDING OFTAXPAYER DOLLARS THAT COULD

POTENTIALLY THREATEN OURNATIONAL SECURITY.

TO BE FAIR, THE GOVERNMENTDIDN'T CART DRAKE OFF TO JAIL

ON THESE TRUMPED UP CHARGES.

THEY JUST RUINED HIM.

>> ALL THE HAD, ALL RETIREMENT IS GONE.

I ENDED UP FINDING WORK,INITIALLY PART TIME, THEN FULL

TIME AT AN APPLE STORE.

>> Jon: REALLY, AN APPLESTORE ISN'T A TERRIBLE PLACE TO

WORK.

AT LEAST HE'S IN A PLACE THAT'STRANSPARENT!

AND DRAKE-- OH, SNAP!

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

AND DRAKE, DRAKE'S IS FAR FROMTHE ONLY CASE OF THE ESPIONAGE

ACT-BASED SILENCING.

>> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION ISUSING THE ESPIONAGE ACT MORE

AGGRESSIVELY THAN ALL OTHERADMINISTRATIONS BEFORE WHEN IT

COMES TO GOING AFTER PEOPLE WHOLEAK NATIONAL SECURITY SECRETS

TO THE PRESS.

>> Jon: OF THE 11 TIMES INOUR ENTIRE HISTORY THAT THE

ESPIONAGE ACT HAS BEEN USEDAGAINST GOVERNMENT WORKERS,

SHARING INFORMATION WITHJOURNALISTS, SEVEN OF THEM HAVE

BEEN UNDER THIS PRESIDENCY,INCLUDING STEPHEN KIM WHO

RECEIVED A 13-MONTH SENTENCE FORTELLING A REPORTER NORTH KOREA

WAS CONSIDERING A NUCLEAR TESTIN RESPONSE TO SANCTIONS.

YEAH, INFORMATION SO OBVIOUS ITWAS ACTUALLY THE SNAPPLE FACT

ON MY LEMON ICED TEA.

( LAUGHTER )I JUST WISH WE JUST HAD SOME

SORT OF OFFICIAL FEDERAL AGENCYTO PROTECT WHISTLEBLOWERS

FROM THIS KIND OF RETALIATION.

>> THERE'S A FEDERAL AGENCY TOPROTECT WHISTLEBLOWERS FROM

RETALIATION.

>> AN INVESTIGATOR FROM THEOSHA'S WHISTLEBLOWER OFFICE

NOW A WHISTLEBLOWER HIMSELF.

>> Jon: OH FOR ( BLEEP ) SAKE.

CAN WE AT LEAST ASSUME THAT THISDO-GOODING GENTLEMAN

WHOSE SPECIFIC JOB IT IS TO HELPWHISTLEBLOWERS

AVOID PUNISHMENT WILL BEAWARDED FOR HIS COURAGE?

>> WHITMAN HAS WORKED AS AWHISTLEBLOWER INVESTIGATOR FOR

THE PAST FIVE YEARS.

HE'S FACED DISCIPLINE FOR GIVINGWHISTLEBLOWERS INTERNAL

INFORMATION ABOUT HOWHE THOUGHT THEIR CASES

WERE MISHANDLED.

>> I THINK AS SOON AS YOUBROADCAST ANYTHING I'LL BE

FIRED.

>>( BLEEP ). WELL, OF COURSE IFHE IS FIRED HE CAN ALWAYS APPEAL

HIS CASE TO THE WHISTLEBLOWERPROTECTION PROGRAM BUREAU OF

PROTECTING WHISTLEBLOWERSPROTECTION WHISTLEBLOWERS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

NOW AT TIMES, I HAVE TO TELLYOU, I THINK OUR ECONOMY SEEMS

BASED ON THE THEORY THAT AS THERICH GET RICHER--

( LAUGHTER )AND LIFE GOES ON.

BUT APPARENTLY, ONE KEY GROUPHAS BEEN FORGOTTEN

IN THAT EQUATION. HASAN MINHAJFILES THIS REPORT.

>> WEALTH INEQUALITY-- IT'SONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT

ECONOMIC ISSUES OF OUR TIME ANDIT MAY BE WORSE THAN YOU THINK.

>> IN THE LAST TWO, THREEDECADES, WE'VE SEEN REALLY

STRIKING INCREASE IN WEALTHINEQUALITY IN AMERICA.

THIS NEW STUDY SHOWS THAT WITHINTHE TOP 1%, THERE IS VERY--

VERY, VERY WIDE INEQUALITY.

>> WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. WHAT'SHAPPENING IN THE 1%?

>> THERE'S A GROWING WEALTH GAPWITHIN THE MILLIONAIRE

POPULATION.

>> DUN-DUN, INDEED.

ACCORDING TO A RECENT STUDY THEINSANELY RICH PEOPLE ARE LEAVING

BEHIND THE LOWLY, AVERAGE,REGULAR RICH PEOPLE.

>> THEY NEED OUR HELP, RIGHT?

>> NO.

THE RELATIVE POSITION OFMULTI-MILLIONAIRE FAMILIES BY

COMPARISON TO BILLIONAIREFAMILIES IS NOT THE BIGGEST

PROBLEM FACING THE U.S. TODAY.

>> YOU'RE TURNING YOUR BACK ONTHE EVERYDAY MILLIONAIRE.

THEY'RE PEOPLE, JUST LIKE ME ANDYOU.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'MSAYING?

>> IF WHAT YOU'RE SUGGESTING ISTHAT MULTI-MILLIONAIRES ARE

PEOPLE, I'M FORCED TO AGREE WITHYOU.

>> YES, AND ALL WE WOULD HAVE TODO IS CREATE A SYSTEM WHERE THE

NORMAL, EVERYDAY MILLIONAIRE CANNOW BE A PART OF THE ELITE 1% OF

THE 1%.

>> UH-HUH.

SO YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THATGAP?

>> UH-HUH.

>> RIGHT.

NOBODY ELSE IS WORRIED ABOUTTHAT GAP.

>> RIGHT.

NO ONE'S CONCERNED ABOUT THEM.

THEY'RE VOICELESS.

AND THAT'S THE SADDEST PART.

SAD AND SHOCKING, BECAUSE THESIGNS ARE EVERYWHERE.

>> TEARING DOWN MEGAMANSIONS FORTHE NEW GIGAMANSIONS.

>> AND JUST LISTEN TO LUXURYYACHT DEALER RALPH NAVARRO.

>> THIS IS OUR 151 DELTA MARINEAND THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL THE

ROLLS ROYCE OF THE YACHTINGINDUSTRY.

EVERYTHING 130 FEET AND UP ISMOVING PRETTY QUICKLY NOWADAYS.

>> AND THEN HE OFFERED TO SHOWME WHAT REGULAR, AVERAGE

MILLIONAIRES ARE FORCED TOCRUISE AROUND IN.

SO THIS BOAT IS GOING TO TAKE USTO THE BIGGER BOAT, RIGHT?

>> NO, THIS IS THE BOAT.

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?

>> EVERYTHING, RALPH.

WHAT FLOOR IS THE COCAINE FLOOR?

>> THERE IS NO COCAINE ON THESEBOATS.

>> IT WAS HEARTBREAKING, BUTFORTUNATELY, EVERYDAY AVERAGE

MILLIONAIRES LIKE MORRIS PEARLARE FIGHTING TO DO AWAY WITH

WEALTH INEQUALITY.

>> I'M ASKING FOR FAIR TAXESWHERE THOSE WHO HAVE MORE PAY

MORE, THOSE WHO HAVE LESS PAYLESS.

>> WHAT?

BUT DON'T YOU NEED MORE MONEY?

>> NO, I DON'T.

I DO NOT NEED MORE MONEY.

>> IF WE GIVE THE .01% TAXBREAKS, THEY'LL SPEND MONEY

WHICH WILL THEN TRICKLE DOWN TOYOU GUYS.

>> NO.

IT WON'T TRICKLE DOWN.

MAKING RICH PEOPLE RICHER DOESNOT HELP MAKE POOR PEOPLE

LESS POOR.

>> BUT WHAT ABOUT SQUIRT-UPECONOMICS.

>> WHAT IS SQUIRT-UP ECONOMICS?

>> OKAY, OKAY LOOK. I'M GOING TOSHOW YOU WITH A VISUAL AID.

SO, THIS KETCHUP PACKETREPRESENTS THE POOR AND THE

MIDDLE CLASS.

IF YOU JUST SQUEEZE THE POOR,SQUIRTING, SQUIRTING CAPITAL UP

TO THE MILLIONAIRES.

>> YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.

THAT'S BEEN HAPPENING.

>> YOU JUST KEEP SQUEEZING THEMTHROUGH DIFFERENT TAX

INITIATIVES, EVENTUALLY, THATWEALTH WILL TRICKLE-- YOU JUST

SQUEEZE THEM FOR EVERYTHINGTHEY'RE WORTH.

>> WE'VE TRIED THAT SINCE THERONALD REAGAN DAYS, AND IT

HASN'T WORKED.

>> SO HE'S NOT ON BOARD WITHTRIED-AND-TRUE FINANCIAL

SOLUTIONS BUT AT LEAST HE DOESHAVE ONE GOOD IDEA.

>> WE THINK THAT RAISING MINIMUMWAGE, AS THE PRESIDENT

ADVOCATES, FROM $7.75 AN HOUR TO$10.10 WILL BE A START.

>> THAT'S IT.

IT WAS TIME TO MAKE THIS RIGHT.

WE'RE JUST ASKING FOR A FAIR ANDREASONABLE WAGE OF $13.75 K AN

HOUR.

>> I'M SORRY, K?

>> 13,000 THOUSAND?

>> YES.

>> IS THIS A JOKE?

>> NO, NO THIS IS DEAD SERIOUS.

>> IF YOU EXPECT ME OR ANYBODYELSE LIKE ME AND MY WIFE TO SIGN

THAT.

>> THERE ARE POOR MILLIONAIRESTHAT ARE MILLIONAIRES WITH JUST

AN "M."

>> YOU'RE ( BLEEP ) INSANE, MAN.

>> NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT INSANE!

>> NO, IT'S NOT A THING. NO, NOBECAUSE

AN EVERYDAY INVESTMENT BANKERAN EVERYDAY CORPORATE ATTORNEY,

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR AGARDENER THAT SPEAKS ENGLISH?

WHILE MEASURES LIKE THIS CANHELP, REAL CHANGE WON'T COME

UNTIL WE GET AT THE TRUE HEARTOF THE PROBLEM-- ARE PEOPLING

MAKING MORE MONEY OR ARE THEIRPENISES JUST GETTING SMALLER?

>> I THINK IN GENERAL PEOPLE AREJUST BECOMING RICHER.

>> AND THEN PENIS SIZE ISGENERALLY STAYING THE SAME?

>> I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THAT.

>> Jon: HASAN MINHAJ.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, A TREMENDOUSACTRESS.

HER NEW MOVIE IS CALLED "THELAZARUS EFFECT."

>> WHEN I DIED, I WENTSOMEWHERE.

I WAS IN THE ROOM. I WAS THERE.

I COULD HEAR THE PEOPLE.

THEY WERE STUCK.

>> ZOE, THAT WAS A DREAM.

IT'S A TRAUMATIC MEMORY FROMYOUR CHILDHOOD.

IT'S NOT REAL.

>> NO, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

I COULDN'T WAKE UP.

I WAS STUCK.

IT WAS ENDLESS.

I TRIED.

IT WENT ON AND ON AND EVERY DAYI WAS THERE IT WAS THE SAME OVER

AND OVER, EVERY SINGLE DAY--

>> ZOE, ZOE, YOU WERE GONE FORLESS THAN AN HOUR.

YOU WERE RIGHT HERE.

>> NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'TUNDERSTAND.

IT'S BEEN YEARS.

I'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR YEARS.

>> Jon: I REALLY DON'TTHINK HE UNDERSTANDS.

( LAUGHTER )PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE

PROGRAM OLIVIA WILDE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )HELLO!

>> HELLO.

>> Jon: I ALMOST, I THINK MYCHAIR WENT DOWN.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

>> I'M GOOD.

DID THAT CLIP FEEL LIKE THESTORY OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR

CAREER?

>> Jon: YES, VERY MUCH SO. I'VEBEEN HERE FOR YEARS.

>> IT'S BEEN YEARS!

>> Jon: I THOUGHT IT WAS ADREAM!

>> NO.

>> Jon: THIS FILM IS VERY--

LOOK, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THETRUTH.

>> YES, ALL RIGHT.

>> Jon: OBVIOUSLY I DON'T SCAREEASY.

I'M A HUGELY COURAGEOUSINDIVIDUAL.

>> YES.

>> Jon: I WAS-- I WAS ALITTLE BIT SCARED IN THIS.

>> YEAH, THAT'S GOOD! MYGOAL WAS JUST TO SCARE YOU.

THAT IF I COULD SCARE JONSTEWART --

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE?

IS THAT WHY MY NAME IS MENTIONEDALL THE TIME IN THE FILM?

>> YEAH. YOU CAUGHT THAT.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT'SINTERESTING? WHEN YOU GET A

SCREENER FROM A FILM COMPANY -->> YEAH.

>> Jon: YOUR NAME IS ON IT.

BUT I NEVER HAD THAT BEFORE WITHA HORROR MOVIE --

>> THAT'S SO SCARY!

>> Jon: SO LIKE PEOPLE ARE LIKETHEY'RE KILLING EACH OTHER AND

EVERY NOW AND AGAIN MYNAME WILL COME UP LIKE --.

( LAUGHTER )

>> THIS IS, THIS IS FOR YOU, JONSTEWART.

>> Jon: RIGHT. IT'S LIKE THAT,WHAT WAS THE-- "THE RING?"

IS THAT THE ONE WHERE IF YOUWATCH SOMETHING AND THEN LIKE

SIX DAYS LATER-->> YEAH. RIGHT.

>> Jon: YOU DIE.

>> IT HAUNTS YOU.>> Jon: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> IF YOU STILL USE A VHS, YOUWILL DIE SOON.

>> Jon: YES! THAT WOULD ACTUALLYBE A GREAT HORROR MOVIE BECAUSE

THAT WOULD MEAN ALL OF OURGRANDPARENTS ARE JUST GONE.

>> YEAH, JUST GONE.

>> Jon: THEM AND PEOPLE WITHANSWERING MACHINES.

BUT ARE YOU A PARTICULAR GENREFAN?

IS THIS JUST SOMETHING YOUWANTED TO TRY?

WHERE ARE YOU AT?

>> I WANTED TO TRY THIS.

I MEAN, I LOVE THIS GENRE WHENIT'S DONE REALLY WELL.

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> I LOVE "THE SHINING."

I LOVE, YOU KNOW, GOOD ONES.

BUT I NEVER WANTED TO BE THEGIRL RUNNING AWAY FROM THE

DANGER. I WANTED TO BE THEDANGER.

>> Jon: YOU'RE NOT -- HAVEYOU SEEN THIS?

YOU'RE NOT THAT PERSON.

>> NO, NO, AT ONE POINT I'MHANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE

CEILING LIKE A BAT.>> Jon: YES.

>> AT ONE POINT SCREAMING ANDBREAKING ALL THE BLOOD

VESSELS IN MY FACE.

AND WE HAD NO MONEY SO WE WEREDOING EVERYTHING FOR REAL.

IT WASN'T LIKE WE DID ANYAFTER-EFFECTS OUR ANYTHING.

IT WAS LIKE --

>> Jon: WAIT, THEY BROKE ALL THEBLOOD VESSELS IN YOUR FACE?

>> YEAH.

>> Jon: DON'T THEY HAVE LIKE ASTUNT FACE OR ANYTHING LIKE

THAT?

>> NO STUNT FACE.

I DID ALL MY OWN FACING.

>> Jon: REALLY!

>> YEAH.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T SEETHAT A LOT.

AND THIS MARK DUPLASS, I LIKEHIM VERY MUCH.

>> HE'S SO GOOD. I LIKE ITBECAUSE IT'S A HORROR MOVIE

GENRE FILM WITHOUT A CAST THATYOU WOULD TYPICALLY ASSOCIATE

WITH SOMETHING ALONG THOSELINES.

>> EXPECT. THAT'S RIGHT.

WE HAVE DONALD GLOVER,CHILDISH GAMBINO.

>> Jon: YEP. CHILDISH GAMBINO ISIN IT.

>> WE HAVE EVANPETERS WHO IS ON "AMERICAN

HORROR STORY."

SO HE'S KIND OF MORE FAMILIARWITH THE GENRE.

BUT IT WAS A GROUP OF KIND OFCOMEDIANS AND INDPENDENT ACTORS

AND DRAMATIC PEOPLE.>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

>> AND I THINK THAT MAKES IT ALITTLE MORE TEXTURED.

>> Jon: AND OTHERWISE, IKNOW YOUR BABY IS NOW 12?

>> 10 MONTHS.

>> Jon: OR 10 MONTHS.>> YES.

>> Jon: IT'S JUST, I DON'T KEEPUP WITH THE GOSSIP.

>> I KNOW. YOU DON'T? YOU REALLYSHOULD.

IT'S THE NEWS.

>> Jon: OH, THAT'S TRUE. THAT ISTRUE.

AND A BALL?

IT'S A BALL.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

IT IS SO MUCH FUN.

>> Jon: YEAH.

IT'S AMAZING.

HE'S WONDERFUL.

>> Jon: WHAT'S NICE ABOUT IT,LIKE FOR MY KIDS AS A PARENT,

IS YOU CAN LEAVE THEM FOR DAYS.

>> I KNOW.

JUST PUT THEM IN THE CRIB.

PUT, LIKE, A SANDWICH.

>> Jon: THAT IS SUCH A GOODIDEA.

>> YOU SHOULD LEAVE ASANDWICH.

>> Jon: I'M GOING TO DOTHAT NEXT TIME.

>> DON'T LEAVE THEM HUNGRY.

>> Jon: NO!

GOD! I'M SO STUPID!

>> MONSTER.

>> Jon: I'LL LEAVE A LITTLEWATER.

>> IT IS SO FUNNY HOW IT CHANGESYOUR DAILY LIFE.

ESPECIALLY LIKE, THERE'S NO SUCHTHING AS A LEISURELY BRUNCH

ANYMORE.>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU USED TO GO OUTAND HAVE BRUNCH AND MAYBE TAKE

LIKE AN HOUR AND A HALF TO EAT.>> Jon: YEAH.

>> NOW IT'S LIKE YOU HOLD HIM.YOU HOLD HIM.

YOU HOLD HIM. I GOT IT. I JUSTWANT TO EAT THIS ONE THING.

JUST LET ME EAT THIS ONETHING!

TAKE HIM BACK AND THEN YOU HOLDHIM.

IT'S REALLY, IT'S A BALANCINGACT.

>> Jon: IT FEELS LIKE WHATWE DID, AND OUR KIDS ARE OLDER

NOW SO IT'S A LITTLE EASIER BUTWHEN IT'S YOUNG LIKE THAT,

IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING--WHAT WERE THOSE OLD GAMES LIKE,

TICK-TICK-TICK --TICK-TICK-TICK-BOOM.

LIKE YOU DIDN'T AT THE PRESENTTIME TO EXPLODE.

>> YEAH.

>> Jon: LIKE IT REALLY IS THAT.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY'RE GOINGTO GO OFF AT SOME POINT.

>> IT'S INEVITABLE AT SOMEPOINT, YOU JUST DON'T EXACTLY

WHEN. >> Jon: YES.

ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT A WHOLEMENAGERIE?

ARE YOU SOMEONE WHO WOULD LIKETO SEE LIKE KIDS, ANIMALS

THE WHOLE DEAL?

LIKE WHAT ARE WE DEALING WITH?

>> YEAH, YEAH, I WANT THE WHOLEDEAL.

>> Jon: ARE YOU GOING EARTHMOTHER? ARE WE GOING --

>> I WANT WHOLE FARM.>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.

>> NO I MEAN -- I THINK-- ITHINK-- I'M PART OF THREE.

HE'S PART OF THREE.

I LIKE THE IDEA OF THAT.>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> BUT IF I CAN KEEP ONE ALIVE--( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )I'LL BE REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF.

BUT YOU KNOW, IT'S-- I WAS DOINGRESHOOTS FOR THIS MOVIE--

ACTUALLY, THE CLIP YOU JUST SAW,THE REASON I'M OVER-ACTING SO

MUCH -->> Jon: YEAH. STOP IT.

>> IS BECAUSE I WAS EIGHT AND AHALF MONTHS PREGNANT.

>> Jon: IN THAT?

>> IN THAT.

AND I WAS JUST SO EXCITED TO BEWORKING THAT I WAS

LIKE I'M GOING TO ACT THE( BLEEP ) OUT OF THIS SCENE.

( LAUGHTER )I WAS SO HAPPY.

I WAS LIKE, HERE I GO.

>> Jon: HERE I GO. BRING IT INTHERE.

>> STILL GOT IT!

>> Jon: THAT'S AWESOME.

>> YEAH. AND THE REASON IT'SKIND OF FRAMED ODDLY IS BECAUSE

THERE'S JUST THIS ENORMOUSBELLY, WHICH IS LIKE A WHOLE

OTHER HORROR MOVIE.

I MEAN THE LOOK OF IT WITH LIKETHE LENSES --

>> Jon: IT IS, THERE ISSOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

AND I REMEMBER IN "ROSEMARY'SBABY" AND SEEING "ROSEMARY'S

BABY" AND THINKING OHTHIS IS METAPHORICAL.

LIKE FOR A WOMAN TO HAVE-- LIKE,THAT IS A PROCESS THAT MUST--

>> YEAH.

>> Jon: LIKE IT'S A 10-POUND--LIKE NOT EVEN JUST SITTING THERE

LIKE OH I JUST HAD A CHEESESTEAK, LIKE IT'S MOVING.

>> IT'S MOVING.

IT IS REALLY INSANE ANDTERRIFYING.

YEAH.

I RECOMMEND IT.

>> Jon: I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE APLATE OF NACHOS.

LIKE ME, YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS FELTLIKE WHEN MY WIFE WAS PREGNANT,

I WS LIKE WELL IKNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE.

>> IT'S GAS.

>> Jon: I HAVE EATEN LIKE NACHOSAND A PIZZA AND I FELT TERRIBLE.

>> YEAH, WELL AND THERE ARETHOSE PEOPLE --

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> MY FAVORITE SHOW TO WATCHWHEN I WAS PREGNANT WAS, "I

DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT." DOYOU KNOW THAT SHOW?

>> Jon: NO.

>> OH YOU HAVE TO WATCH THESHOW!

>> Jon: IT'S A SHOW CALLED "IDIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT?"

>> I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT.AND THE --

>> OH, IS THAT ON THE DUMBPEOPLE NETWORK?

( LAUGHTER )HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW THEY'RE

PREGNANT?

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT.

>> THEY DON'T KNOW AND MYFAVORITE EPISODE IS CALLED, ARE

"THERE'S A BABY IN MY SWEATPANTS."

AND I THOUGHT, THAT LUCKY BITCH!

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: DON'T GIVEAWAY THE ENDING!

"THERE'S A BABY IN MY SWEATPANTS."

IS THAT THE TITLE AT THEBEGINNING OF THE EPISODE?

>> YEAH, YEAH, AND I LOOKED DOWNAND THERE'S A BABY

IN MY SWEAT PANTS.

AND I WAS LIKE I HOPE THAT'S HOWMY LABOR GOES.

MINE WAS THE OPPOSITE OF THAT.

>> Jon: "THERE'S A BABY INMY SWEAT PANTS."

>> YEAH. YEAH.

SOME PEOPLE THINK IT'S GAS, ANDTHEY'RE PREGNANT AND THEY HAVE A

BABY.

( LAUGHTER )>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, WE'RE

GOING TO GO.

HERE'S WHERE WE'RE GOING TO GORIGHT NOW.

I'M GOING TO GO RENT SOME DVDsOF THIS SHOW.

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. YES, PLEASEDO.

>> Jon: I AM GOING TO DOTHAT.

>> YEAH.

>> Jon: "THE LAZARUS EFFECT,"IT'S IN THE THEATERS ON FRIDAY.

OLIVIA WILDE, EVERYBODY.

>> THANK YOU.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT,EVERYBODY.

THAT IS OUR SHOW.

HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> OFFICIALS IN INDIA WANT TOSET THE RECORD STRAIGHT.

>> STEWART!

HEY, STEWART, LOOK, I'VE HEARDEVERY SINGLE THING THAT YOU'VE

BEEN SAYING ABOUT ME.

I HOPE, MY FRIEND, THAT YOU AREPREPARED FOR A WORLD OF HURT.

>> Jon: W.W.E. SUPERSTARAND POSTER BOY FROM THE

AUTHORITY, SETH ROLLINS.

HOW DID YOU INTERRUPT MY MOMENTOF ZEN!

HOW!

>> oh PLEASE, PLEASE, STEWART.

YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN THAT.

I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT.

I AM ALL POWERFUL.

>> Jon: SETTLE DOWN,OBI-WAN!

YOU'RE NOT ALL POWERFUL.

MINDS YOUR MANNERS.

YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A LITTLEWRESTLING IN MY BACKGROUND

AS WELL. I'VE GOT ALITTLE WRESTLING.

I'LL PUT YOU IN A HALF-NELSON

MAYBE A LITTLE JIBBY JAB. AJIBBY JAB WITH THE THING.

MAYBE A LITTLE FLIP FLAP. ALITTLE FLIP FLAP!

BEHIND THE -- HE'S RIGHT BEHINDME, ISN'T HE?

IS HE RIGHT BEHIND ME? IS HE --

>> REALLY, REALLY TOUGH TALK,STEWART.

WHY DON'T YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTHAND BRING IT, PAL, HUH!

>> Jon: LET ME JUST SAYTHIS-- A LITTLE BEARD

CONDITIONER WOULD GO A LONGWAY-- AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS,

ROLLINS, I WILL BRING IT!

ALTHOUGH, UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'THAVE IT WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

SO I WILL, PERHAPS, LOOK FOR ITAND MEET YOU SOMEWHERE AT A

LATER DATE, LIKE A GENTLEMAN.

>> WELL, YOU KNOW, WHAT?>> Jon: WHAT?

>> IT'S FUNNY YOU WOULD MENTIONTHAT --

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> BECAUSE I ACTUALLY CAME HERETO GIVE YOU AN INVITATION.

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> YES.

>> HOW ABOUT YOU SHOW UP THISMONDAY NIGHT ON "MONDAY NIGHT

RAW" AT THE PRUDENTIAL CENTER.

HAVE YOU GOT THE GUTS, STEWART?

>> Jon: I HAVE MORE THANTHE-- OH JESUS, I THINK I JUST

PULLED SOMETHING WHENI TURNED ON THERE.

BUT I DO HAVE THE GUTS-- OH,YOU'RE TALLER THAN I THOUGHT.

ON THE TELEVISION IT LOOKS LIKEHE'S-- ALL RIGHT, SETH ROLLINS

EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE BACK NEXTWEEK, UNLESS I GET CRUSHED!

>> HEY, HEY!

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