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July 27, 2015 - David McCullough

  • Episode: 20135
  • Views: 191,352

FBI officials warn of ISIS's Twitter capabilities, Mike Huckabee likens the Iran nuclear deal to the Holocaust, and David McCullough discusses his book "The Wright Brothers." (21:30)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

>> Jon: HELLO, EVERYBODY!

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW"!

MY NAME IS JON STEWART!

WE'VE GOT --

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

EIGHT MORE SHOWS!

HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS, MY GUESTTONIGHT WAS GOING TO BE TEXAS

REPUBLICAN SENATOR TED CRUZ!

GUESS WHAT?

HE DIDN'T MAKE IT!

APPARENTLY, HE HAD TO BE IN THESENATE TO VOTE ON SOME --

(BLEEP).

SO HE COULDN'T MAKE IT!

SO WE CALL HIM, NOW -- HERE'STHE THING -- TYPICALLY, IF

SOMEBODY CANCELS AT THE LASTMINUTE, YOU THINK, I'LL NEVER

GET ANYBODY INTERESTING TO TALKTO.

THERE'S A GUY RUNS A SUBWAYSANDWICH SHOP RIGHT UP THE BLOCK

THERE.

I GO IN THERE AND I WILL BE,LIKE, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

HE WOULD BE, LIKE, BREAD, ANDTHEN WE ALSO HAVE THE HORSE

CARRIAGE OVER THERE.

SO WHENEVER I WALK INTO THEBUILDING, THE TWO ODORS

GENERALLY COME TOGETHER AT THEDOOR, AND I END UP THINKING TO

MYSELF, " I COULD REALLY GO FORA (BLEEP) SANDWICH RIGHT NOW."

BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE BECAUSEWE HAVE AN EVEN BETTER GUEST!

THE GREAT HISTORIAN, ONE OF MYFAVORITES, DAVID McCULLOUGH,

IS GONNE BE JOINING US WITH HIS BOOK "THE WRIGHT BROTHERS"!

SO, YES!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WHAT COULD BE A BETTER GIFT ON AMONDAY KICKING OFF MY FINAL

EIGHT SHOWS.

MAN, THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THANTALKING TO AN HISTORIAN, A

NON-FICTION WRITER.

A GREAT WAY TO START THE FINALRUN.

BUT, WE MUST TURN FIRST -- AND I'M SORRY TO DO THIS, BUT AS

A HARD-HITTING NEWS PROGRAM,WE TURN TO I.S.I.S., OR AS

THEY'RE THEIR OWN I.S.I.L ORDA'ISH OR THE WORST PEOPLE

YOU'VE EVER SEEN ON YouTube.

>> THE NEW TERROR WARNING FROMTHE HEAD OF THE F.B.I.

I.S.I.S. IS NOW A BIGGER THREATTO THE UNITED STATES THAT

AL QAEDA.

>> I.S.I.L. IS NOT YOUR PARENTSAL QAEDA.

>> Jon: ARE YOU ACCUSING MYPARENTS OF BEING AL QUAED?

BECAUSE THAT WOULD NOT HAVEGONE OVER WELL AT THEIR TEMPLE.

MMMM... MA NISHTA-WHA?

SO WHAT MAKES THE F.B.I. -- THEFEDERAL BEURU OF INVESTIGATION

-- THINK I.S.I.S. ISN'T LAMELIKE AL QAEDA AND DOESN'T DRIVE

AN OLDSMOBILE?

>> THE REASON I.S.I.S. HASSURPASSED AL QAEDA AS A DANGER

TO THE U.S. IS BECAUSE IT HASMASTERED TWITTER AND OTHER

SOCIAL MEDIA.

>> THE I.S.I.L TWEETERS IN SYRIAHAVE 21,000 ENGLISH LANGUAGE

FOLLOWERS.

>> Jon: OOH!

21,000!

GUESS WHAT?

PINK BERR'S GOT 49,000.

MY GUESS, OUT OF THE 21,000 MOSTIS FOLLOWBACKS FROM MORNING SHOW

DJs.

"HEY! IT'S FOLLOW-BACK MONDAY!"

>> IF YOU WANT TO TALK WITHTERRORISTS, THEY'RE RIGHT THERE

DIRECT MESSAGING FOR YOU TOCOMMUNICATE WITH.

>> Jon: OH.

TERRORISTS HAVE ONLINE CUSTOMERSUPPORT!

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY SURPASSEDAL QAEDA, BUT THEY'RE BEATING

THE (BLEEP) OUT OF TIME WARNER!

BOOM!

WAHH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THAT HAD TO HURT.

(LAUGHTER)

SO WHAT ARE WE DOING TO FIGHTBACK AGAINST I.S.I.L'S TECHNICAL

SUPREMACY?

PERHAPS A VIRUS TO WIPE OUTCOMPUTERS?

HIJACK THEIR SOCIAL MEDIAACCOUNTS?

SOME KIND OF TARGETEDELECTROMAGNET PULSING?

>> THESE LEAFLETS, AIR-DROPPEDIN TARAFA BY THE U.S., THE

MESSAGE: FREEDOM WILL RISE -- ANOT SO SUBTLE WARNING TO

I.S.I.S., WATCH OUT.

>> Jon: ARE YOU (BLEEP)KIDDING ME?

LEAFLETS?

LEAFLETS?

THAT IS OUR NEWEST COMMUNICATIONWEAPON IN THE GREATEST WAR OF

THE 21st CENTURY, DROPPEDLEAFLETS, FLOATING PAPER.

(LAUGHTER)

REALLY, I.S.I.S.?

YOU'RE DOMINATING SOCIALMEDIA, WELL, LET'S JUST SEE IF

CRANKING UP THE OLD MIMEOGRAPHCAN TAKE CARE OF THAT!

EVERY TURN OF THE HANDLE IS --OH, I'M SORRY.

WE'RE OUT OF INK AND I'M TIREDAND, TURNS OUT, NOBODY READS

LEAFLETS.

WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE NOT MYPARENTS' AL QAEDA.

SO AMERICA, ARMED WITH DITTOMACHINES, IS UP AGAINST A GROUP

THAT IS DISRUPTING THE WHOLECONCEPT OF DISRUPTION!

>> THEY PUT OUT A GENERALIZEDMESSAGE, IT'S THE MONTH OF

RAMADAN, IF YOU SEE AN INFIDELOR QUFAR WHERE YOU ARE, TAKE AN

OPPORTUNITY TO KILL THEM AND DOTHIS.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

I.S.I.S. FAN-BOYS ARE GOING INTOOPERATION FROM BOTTOM UP.

IT'S SOMETHING THAT I CALL CROWDSOURCE JIHAD.

>> Jon: INTERESTING.

SO THROUGH TECHNOLOGY, I.S.I.S.DOESN'T CARRY OUT ACTUAL JIHAD

THEMSELVES, THEY PUT TERRORINDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR TOGETHER

WITH TERROR VICTIMS.

THEY'RE A TERROR UBER, IF YOUWILL.

(LAUGHTER)

12 MINUTES TO A CAR BOMB?

I'LL JUST WALK.

BUT WHO HAS TIME --

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

GOOD NIGHT -- I'M JUST GOING TOLEAVE NOW.

I'M JUST GOING TO LEAVE NOW.

THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

I'M GOING TO WAIT FOR A GOODHIGH NOTE AND JUST (BLEEP) BOLT.

I WANT TO GO OUT ON A HIGH NOTE.

OF COURSE, I.S.I.S. CLAIMS TO BEDOING ALL THESE THINGS.

BUT WHAT DOES THE AVERAGE JOESIX-PACKS-ARE-FORBIDDEN THINK?

>> THERE ARE PEOPLE IN MOSUL WHOSAY THEY ARE BETTER OFF UNDER

THE ISLAMIC STATE.

ALMOST ALL ARE SUNNI AND THEYHAVE SUFFERED AT THE HANDS OF

THE IRAQ SHIITE GOVERNMENT.

>> PEOPLE DON'T LIKE I.S., BUTTHEY LIKE THEY'RE SECUIRTY.

INSTEAD OF ANARCHY, THEY HAVENOW LAW AND ORDER.

>> Jon: LET ME GET THISSTRAIGHT -- SUNNI PEOPLE IN IRAQ

ARE ACCEPTING A BRUTALLYREPRESSIVE MURDEROUS, MEDIEVAL

TALIBAN-LIKE STATE BECAUSE IT'SBETTER THAN THE GOVERNMENT WE

LEFT THEM WITH?

(LAUGHTER)

GUESS WHAT -- THIS GATEDTERRORIST COMMUNITY HERE IS

ABOUT TO COME-A-TUMBLING DOWN.

>> TURKEY STEPS UP ITS FIGHTAGAINST I.S.I.S.

>> Jon: BOOM!

ACTUALLY, I WAS UNDER THEIMPRESSION TURKEY ALREADY HAD

SINCE, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE NEXTDOOR NEIGHBORS.

SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING ISTURKEY'S ANIT-I.S.I.S

CAPABILITIES JUMPED UP FROM"STEP UP 2" STATUS, ALL THE WAY

TO "STEP UP REVOLUTION," NOTEVEN BOTHERING TO STOP AT "STEP

UP 3-D," THOUGH THE LASER GLOVESWOULD COME IN HANDY HAS TURKEY

STEPS IT'S STRATEGY TO THEMAXIMUM OR "ALL-IN" LEVEL.

SO WHAT DOES TURKEY STEPPING UPENTAIL.

>> IN SYRIA TURKISH WARPLANESBOMBED I.S.I.S. FOR THE FIRST

TIME.

A MAJOR TACTICAL SHIFT FOR THETURKS.

>> IN WHAT IS CALLED A GAMECHANGER, TURKEY GAVE THE U.S.

PERMISSION TO USE A BASE IN THATCOUNTRY TO CRAIR OUT AER

AIRSTRIKES AGAINST I.S.I.S.

>> THE INVOLVEMENT OF TURKEY ISA GAME CHANGER.

>> Jon: OH, (BLEEP)!

WE JUST CHANGED THE GAME!

YOU THOUGHT WE WERE PLAYINGRISK, I.S.I.S.!

BUT WE'RE NOT!

WE'RE PLAYING LIKE SETTLERS OFCATAN.

AND THE GOOD GUYS JUST CORNEDTHE MARKET ON MOTHER(BLEEP)

SHEEP.

BY THE WAY, THAT STRATEGY BOARDGAME WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY

NERDS.

NERDS: THEY LIKE TO HAVE FUN,INSIDE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND NOW -- AND NOW YOU KNOW OURCORE AUDIENCE.

TELL ME ABOUT THIS GAME CHANGINGAIRSTRIKE TURKEY IS LAUNCHING.

>> SO FA, MOST OF TURKEY'SAIRSTRIKES HAVE BEEN AGAINST

THE PRO-AMERICAN KURDS.

>> Jon: SO THEY'RE STEPPING UPTHE FIGHT AGAINST I.S.I.S. BY

TAKING OUT THE PEOPLE MOSTEFFECTIVELY FIGHTING

I.S.I.S.?

BRILLIANT STRATEGY.

CERTAINLY NO ONE WILL SEE THATCOMING.

>> THE TURKS SEE THE KURDS ASSEPARATISTS AND TERRORISTS.

THE U.S. VIEWs THE KURDS AS veryEFFECTIVE FIGHTERS.

IT'S MAKING THIS A VERY COMPLEX BATTLEFIELD, AVERY DELICATE

MILITARY DANCE FOR THE UNITEDSTATES.

>> Jon: -- VERY DELICATE DANCE.

MUCH LIKE WHEN ELIZABETHBENNETT ATTENDED THE

NETHERFIELD BALL HOPING TO DANCEWITH WICKHAM ONLY TO FIND OUT

DOROTHY SCARED HIM AWAY,REQUIRING HER TO SPEND ENTIRELY

TOO MUCH TIME PAIRED OFF WITHMR. COLLINS, AND THEN EVERYONE

PULLED OUT A KNIFE ANDDECAPITATED EACH OTHER!

(LAUGHTER)

SPOILER ALERT!

SO TURKEY IS HELPING US IN THEFIGHT AGAINST I.S.I.S. WHILE

BOMBING OUR ALLIES IN THE FIGHTAGAINST I.S.I.S.

AS CONFUSING AS IT GETS, WE CANREST ASSURED THAT NO MATTER

WHAT HAPPENS, THE KURDSULTIMATELY GET (BLEEP).

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: AYYYY!

>> THE U.N. SECURITY COUNCILUNANIMOUSLY APPROVED A

RESOLUTION BACKING IRAN AND SIXOTHER COUNTRIES --

>> Jon: HMM? MMM!

>> A HIGHLY CONTROVERSIALCOMMENTS FROM MIKE HUCKABEE.

>> Jon: HMM? -- HMM.

>> THIS PRESIDENT'S FOREIGNPOLICY IS THE MOST FECKLESS IN

AMERICAN HISTORY.

HE'S SO NAIVE, HE WOULD TRUSTTHE IRANIANS AND TAKE THE

ISRAELIS AND BASICALLY MARCHTHEM TO THE DOOR OF THE OVEN.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

(LAUGHTER)

>> HE WOULD TAKE THE ISRAELISAND BASICALLY MARCH THEM TO THE

DOOR OF THE OVEN.

(JON CLEARS THROAT)

>> Jon: AHH!

>> THE USE OF THAT LANGUAGE ISJUST WRONG.

>> IRRESPONSIBLE AND DANGEROUS.

>> INAPPROPRIATE. IT'SOFFENSIVE.

>> COMMENTS LIKE THESE AREOFFENSIVE AND HAVE NO PLACE IN

OUR POLITICAL DIALOGUE.

THIS STEPS OVER THE LINE.

>> Jon: UHH.

HA, HA! UGH, UH.

>> DO YOU STAND BY YOURCOMMENTS?

>> ABSOLUTELY I DO.

THREE TIMES I HAVE BEEN TOAUSCHWITZ.

WHEN I TALKED ABOUT THE OVENDOOR, I HAVE STOOD AT THAT OVEN

DOOR.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKSLIKE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

(JON WHIMPERS)

("SOUL MAN" PLAYS)

>> THE POPEYE'S CHICKEN INTERMINAL B, I LIKE IT BECAUSE

THE FOOD IS QUICK AND DELICIOUS.

THE LADIES BEHIND THECOUNTER CALL ME HONEY, SWEETIE

AND DARLIN'.

GOOD SOUTHERN MOTHERS STILL MAKECATHEAD BISCUITS AND RED EYE

GRAVY.

CHURCHES STILL HAD DINNERON THE GROUNDS AND ALL-DAY

SINGIN' ON FIFTH SUNDAYS.

Jon: AH!

HMM-HM. HMM-HM.

(JON GRUNTS)

BLAH! -- AHHHH.

>> THERE IS A TRUMP EFFECTGOING ON WITH CANDIDATES WHERE

THEY WANT TO SAY THINGS AN DTHEN DOUBLE DOWN ON THEM

TO GET SOME ATTENTION.

>> Jon: OHH.

HMM... HUH.

THE I.R.S. IS THE CLOSESTTHE U.S. HAS TO A GUESS GESTAPO.

(LAUGHTER)

>> I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD MEWHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT I

COULD HAVE FELT LIKE A WOMANWHEN IT CAME TIME TO TAKE

SHOWERS IN P.E.

I'M PRETTY SURE I COULD HAVEFOUND MY FEMININE SIDE AND SAID,

COACH, I THINK I WANT TO SHOWERWITH THE GIRLS TODAY.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> BEYONCE IS SUCH A MEGATALENT, SHE HAS SUCH

EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY THAT SHEDOESN'T NEED TO GO WHERE SHE

WENT.

DO THEY NEED TO GET INTO THEVULGAR AND CRUDE TO BE SUCCESS

SUCCESSFUL?

(JON MUTTERS UNDER BREATH)

(LAUGHTER)

>> THERE IS A TRUMP EFFECT THATI THINK IS GOING ON --

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK!

MY GUEST TONIGHT, BEST-SELLINGAUTHOR, TWO-TIME PULITZER PRIZE

WINNER, HIS LATEST BOOK ISCALLED "THE WRIGHT BROTHERS"!

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THISPROGRAM, DAVID McCULLOUGH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

SENATOR CRUZ, AT LONG LAST!

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

SHORT NOTICE.

YOU KNOW I'M AN ENORMOUS FAN OFYOURS.

THE BOOK IS CALLED "THE WRIGHTBROTHERS."

I'M SO GLAD THE BOOK IS GETTINGTHE DAVID McCULLOUGH TREATMENT.

THEY ARE AMERICAN ICONS THAT WEHAVE AN ALMOST TWO-DIMENSIONAL

CARTOONISH KNOWLEDGE OF, LIKEFROM HOWARD JOHNSON'S PLACE

MATTS AND DIXIE CUPS, YOU KNOW.

NOBODY REALLY EXPLORES THEREALITY OF THE WRIGHT BROTHERS.

>> WELL, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELYRIGHT, AND I KNEW NEXT TO

NOTHING WHEN I FIRST CAME ACROSSTHEM.

I KNEW THAT THEY WERE A COUPLEOF BICYCLE MECHANICS FROM OHIO,

INVENTED THE AIRPLANE, WHICHCAME TO PROBABLY TEN MINUTES IN

HIGH SCHOOL IN HISTORY CLASS.

BUT, IN FACT, THEY WEREINFINETELY MORE THAN THAT AND

MORE INTERESTING AS HUMANBEINGS, AND BRAVE BEYOND ALMOST

ANYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN MUCHABOUT.

AND THEY WOULD NOT GIVE UP ANDTHEY NEVER LET FAIRLY FAILURE

GET THEM DOWN, AND THEY WEREDETERMINED TO SUCCEED, AND THEY

DID IT ON THEIR OWN ENTIRELY.

THEY HAD NO FOUNDATION BEHINDTHEM.

THEY HAD NO UNIVERSITY BACKING.

THEY HAD NO ANGEL.

>> Jon: THIS WAS NO PROJECT X.

>> YEAH, IT CERTAINLY WASN'T.

THEY HAD NO BACKER.

THEY DID IT ALL WITH THEIR OWNMONEY, ON THEIR OWN STEAM, ON

THEIR OWN INITIATIVE, IN THEIROWN FREE TIME.

THEY HAD VERY LITTLE IN THE WAYOF INCOME.

SAMUEL LANGLEY, THEN THE HEAD OFTHE SMITHSONIAN, BUILT AN

ENORMOUS PUBLIC -- ENORMOUS BYTHE STANDARDS OF THE TIME.

-- A FLYING MACHINE, WHICH HECALLED AERO DROME, AND IT

COST, ALTOGETHER, ABOUT $70,000,WHICH WAS A LOT OF MONEY THEN.

>> Jon: SURE.

AND IT TOOK OFF FROM THE TOPOF A HOUSE BOAT ON THE SHORES OF

THE POTOMAC RIVER, FLEW UP ABOUT60 INTO THE AIR AND DOVE RIGHT

INTO THE WATER.

(LAUGHTER)

THEIR FLYING MACHINE WHICHTHEY FLEW AT KITTY HAWK, NORTH

CAROLINA, IN THE MIDST OF THEWINTER OF 1903, EVERYTHING

INCLUDED FROM GOING BACKAND FORTH TO DAYTON, OHIO, TO

KITTY HAWK, NORTH CAROLINA, LESSTHAN $1,000.

SO THERE WAS VERY LITTLE THATTHEY COULDN'T MAKE WITH THEIR

OWN HANDS.

>> Jon: AND YET, EVEN THOUGHTHEY MADE IT, NO ONE REALLY

CARED EXCEPT IN FRANCE.

>> THEY IGNORED IT.

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> OUR GOVERNMENT IGNORED IT.

>> Jon: EVERYBODY IGNORED IT.

>> "NEW YORK TIMES," CHICAGOTRIBUNE, EVEN ONE OF THEIR

DAYOTN PAPERS.

ONE OF THE EDITORS OF ONE OFTHOSE PAPERS YEARS LATER ASKED

"YOU NEVER WROTE ABOUTIT, IT HAPPENED UNDER YOUR

NOSES."

HE SAID, "I GUESS WE WERE JUSTPLAIN STUPID."

>> Jon: I BELEIVE AT THE TIMEWAS THE BYLINE OF THE NEWSPAPER.

(LAUGHTER)

WE'RE JUST PLAIN STUPID.

UH, NEVER FLEW TOGETHER, ALWAYSWERE -- I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT

WAS SO INTERESTING.

SO COGNIZANT OF THE DANGER THATTHEY ONLY WOULD FLY SOLO SO THAT

THE OTHER WOULD BE THERE TOCARRY ON THE WORK IN CASE THEY

WERE KILLED.

>> EXACTLY.

IT WASN'T UNTIL 1909 -- NO,1910 --

>> Jon: I WAS GOING TO CORRECTYOU

(LAUGHTER)

>> I NEED A LOT OF THAT.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

>> IN FRONT OF A PUBLICDEMONSTRATION, AN AIR SHOW THEY

PUT ON AT AIR TESTING GROUND,WHICH WAS A COW PASTURE OUTSIDE

OF DAYTON, THAT THEY WENT UPTOGETHER, AND WHAT THEY WERE

SAYING TO ANYBODY WHO KNEW THEMWAS, WE'VE DONE IT.

WE'RE ALLOWED TO GO.

AND THE ONLY MEMBER OF THEFAMILY THAT HADN'T BEEN UP WAS

THEIR FATHER.

THE MINISTER.

HE WAS 82 YEARS OLD.

NOBODY THAT AGE HAD EVER GONE UPIN AN AIRPLANE, TO SAY THE

LEAST.

SO ORVILLE TOOK HIM UP AND THEYTOOK OFF IN THIS BIG CROWD OF

LOCALS, NEIGHBORS AND THE REST.

AND THE WHOLE TIME, HE WASSITTING BESIDE ORVILLE ON THE

PLANE, NO SEAT BELTS ORANYTHING--

>> Jon: FIRST CLASS OR COACH?

(LAUGHTER)

>> FIRST CLASS.

HE KEPT SAYING, HIGHER, ORVILLE,HIGHER.

THAT WAS THE SPIRIT OF THEFAMILY.

>> Jon: OH, I THOUGHT YOU WEREGOING TO SAY BECAUSE IT'S NEVER

ENOUGH.

I BUILT AN AIRPLANE!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HIGHER!

(LAUGHTER)

>> ONE OF MY FAVORITE LINESIS, WILBUR WAS ASKED ABOUT DO

YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR PEOPLEWHO WANT TO SUCCEED IN LIFE?

HE SAID, YES, PICK OUT A GOODMOTHER AND FATHER AND GROW UP IN

OHIO.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: THAT'S WONDERFUL!

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US!

I TRULY APPRECIATE IT!

THE WRIGHT BROTHERS! IT'S ON THEBOOKSHELVES NOW.

DAVID McCOLLOUGH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

>> Jon: HEY!

THAT'S ALL FOR THE SHOW!

BY THE WAY, FOR ANYBODY WHO WASWATCHING AND THOUGHT, WHAT THE

HELL WAS GOING ON IN THE SECONDACT. THERE, LET ME SAY VERY

QUICKLY.

FOR THE PAST, I DON'T KNOW, 15OR 16 YEARS, WE HAD A RUNNING

JOKE THAT I COULD REALLY DO THESHOW WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,

THAT I COULD JUST MAKE STUPIDFACES AND GRUNT.

AND WE NEVER HAD THE BALLS TOTRY THAT!

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WITH TWO WEEKS TO GO, WETHOUGHT, YEAH, WHY NOT!

SO THAT'S WHAT WE DID.

I REALIZED I HAVE BEEN WORKINGWAY TOO HARD.

WE'RE RACING TO THE FINISH LINE.

SEVEN SHOWS LEFT AFTER TONIGHT.

SO BEFORE I GO, I WANT TO REMINDEVERYBODY YOU STILL HAVE A

CHANCE TO COME SEE MY LAST SHOW.

GO TO OMAZE.com/DAILYSHOWBY THIS WEDNESDAY, THAT'S WHEN

IT CLOSES DOWN.

MAKE A $10 DONATION TO NEW YORKCOLLABORATES FOR AUTISM AND

NIGHT OF TOO MANY STARS.

THAT DONATION ENTERS YOU INTO ACONTEST FOR A FLIGHT TO NEW YORK

FOR YOU AND A FRIEND, A NIGHT ATA FOUR-STAR HOTEL AND TICKETS TO

MY LAST SHOW.

AND A SNUGGLE!

WHATEVER.

OMAZE.com/DAILYSHOW BYWEDNESDAY.

HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> SHARK ANADO WILL BE SHOWINGTHIS WEEK.

I HAVE TO ADMIT, I TURNED DOWN AROLE IN SHARKNADO 3.

BUT I CAN SEE THESE MOVIES AREFOOLISH, CAMPY FUN.

HOWEVER, A SERIOUS SHARKSITUATION OFF THE COAST OF SOUTH

AFRICA YESTERDAY WHEN A SURFERWAS ATTACKED BY A GIANT SHARK.

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