September 30, 2014 - Ben Affleck

  • Episode: 20002 | 
  • Views: 24,868

Congress stops passing laws, India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi visits the U.S., and Ben Affleck discusses "Gone Girl" and "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice." 

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILYSHOW!

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

I'M HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE JOINEDUS.

I'M HAPPY YOU'VE JOINED US THISEVENING.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, A YOUNGFELLOW NAMED BEN AFFLECK.

HE'S GOING TO BE JOINING US ALITTLE LATER.

HE'S GOT THIS FILM OUT CALLED"GONE GIRL." PEOPLE LIKE HIM.

(CHEERING)VERY TALENTED.

YOU KNOW, BUT FIRST,OBVIOUSLY YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW

THIS SINCE YOU'VE BEEN IN THESTUDIO,

APPARENTLY, EBOLA IS INAMERICA.

GUESS WE'LL GET TO THATTOMORROW.

(LAUGHTER)DONE AND DONE.

BUT FIRST, AS AMERICA CONFRONTSTHE SEEMINGLY UNSTOPPABLE DUAL

THREATS OF ISIS AND REALLYFAST WHITE HOUSE LAWN-RUNNERS,

WE FIND OURSELVES SELECTING ANEW CROP OF MIDTERM LEGISLATORS.

LET'S GO TO IOWA!

WHERE SUNDAY'S SENATE DEBATE SAWDEMOCRAT BRUCE BRALEY AND

REPUBLICAN JONI ERNST PRESENT AREAL CHOICE.

>> SENATOR ERNST WOULD HAVEVOTED TO SHUT DOWN THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT WITH TED CRUZ, SHE'SCALLED PRESIDENT OBAMA A

DICTATOR AND THINKS IMPEACHMENTSHOULD BE ON THE TABLE.

>> OKAY, THAT'S, BRALEY, BRALEYJUMPS IN PAINTING ERNST AS AN

EXTREMIST, A REACTIONARY. HOWDOES ERNST RESPOND?

PERHAPS A MOVE TO THE CENTER.

>> YOU THREATENED TO SUE ANEIGHBOR OVER CHICKENS THAT CAME

ONTO YOUR PROPERTY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: TOUCHE.

BRALEY JUMPS IN, YOU'RE ANULTRA-PARTISAN IDEOLOGUE.

ERNST ANSWERS, YOU DON'T LIKEHAVING CHICKEN (BLEEP) ON YOUR

LAWN!

AND STAY DOWN!

SO ERNST HAS THE "TRESPASSING

CHICKEN" VOTE SEWN UP.

SO THE WINNER WILLBE DECIDED BY AN OLD-FASHIONED

HAWK-EYE STATE FOLKSY-OFF.

>> I GREW UP IN A WORKING-CLASSHOME IN A SMALL FARM TOWN.

>> I GREW UP DRINKING WELL WATERON A SOUTHWEST IOWA FARM.

>> MY DAD RAN A GRAIN ELEVATOR.

>> MY FATHER IS A FARMER, A VERYPROUD FARMER.

>> I GOT MY FIRST JOB INTHIRD GRADE.

>> I WAS THE MORNINGBISCUIT-MAKER AT HARDEES IN RED

OAK.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

LET ME JUST TALLY THIS UP.

WE'VE GOT EIGHT POINTS FOR WELLWATER DYSENTERY.

WE'VE GOT FOUR POINTS, GRAINELEVATOR BLINDNESS.

WE'VE GOT TEN POINTS FOR CHILDLABOR...

CARRY THE BISCUIT-MAKING....

OH, MY GOD, IT'S A TIE!

THEY HAVE BOTH ACHIEVED, THISIS EXCITING, A "WILFORD BRIMLEY

OATMEAL" LEVEL OF FOLKSINESS!THIS NEVER HAPPENS.

ALMOST HAPPENS. BRILLIANTLYDONE PEOPLE.

ONE OF YOU WILL TAKE THATDOWN-HOME, JUST-FOLKS,

REAL-AMERICAN-NESS TO WASHINGTONTO WRITE THE KIND OF

COMMON-SENSE, AW-SHUCKS LAWSTHAT SOMEHOW PROTECT THIS

NATION FROM TRESSPASSINGCHICKENS OR WHATEVER.

OR YOU WOULD DO THAT, IF MAKING

LAWS WAS STILL WHAT CONGRESSDID. ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN.

ALL AMERICANS KNOW HOW A BILLBECOME A LAW.

>> ♪ I'M JUST A BILL ♪ YES, I'M ONLY A BILL

♪ AND I'M SITTING HERE ONCAPITOL HILL ♪♪

>> Jon: RECENTLY THE LEGISLATIVEPROCESS, THOUGH, HAS GROWN

MORE COMPLICATED. TAKE THE 2010DODD FRANK ACT.

IN THE WAKE OF THE 2008CATASTROPHIC BANK COLLAPSE THAT

DESTROYED THE WORLD'S ECONOMY,IT WAS MEANT TO URGENTLY REFORM

A CRIPPLED AND FAILINGFINANCIAL SYSTEM.

BUT AFTER SIXTEEN MONTHS OFHEARINGS, LOBBYING AND HORSE

TRADING CONGRESS FINALLYPRODUCED AN 848-PAGE WATERED

DOWN TOOTHLESS PIECEOF (BLEEP) THAT LEAVES

OUR ECONOMY ALMOST AS VULNERABLEAS IT WAS PRE-CRISIS

OR AS CONGRESS NOW CALLS THAT,THEIR FINEST HOUR.

>> THE CURRENT CONGRESS IS BADAT PASSING LEGISLATION.

>> THEIR RECORD IS JUST DISMAL.

>> IT'S ON TRACK TO BE THE LEASTPRODUCTIVE IN HISTORY.

>> Jon: IN OTHER WORDS,CONGRESS HAS NOW GREATLY

SIMPLIFIED THE PROCESS FORPASSING LAWS,

IN THAT IT DOES NOT.BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE

LEGISLATIVE PROCESS IS USELESSWHICH BRINGS US TO OUR

NEW SEGMENT, HOW A BILL BECOMESAN AD.

HERE'S HOW THE LEGISLATIVEPROCESS WORKS NOW.

>> WE HAVE A WHOLE AGENDA NOWCALLED THE FAIR SHOT AGENDA --

EQUAL PAY FOR WOMEN, EQUAL WORK.>> RIGHT.

>> MINIMUM WAGE, HELPINGPAY FOR COLLEGE.

>> Jon: NOBLE GOALS! BUTDEMOCRATS LIKE CHUCK SCHUMER

ARE OR COURSE AWARE THATTHERE IS NO POSSIBILITY

FOR ANY OF THOSE TOBE PASSED!

WHY DO AT A CONTINUE TO PURSUETHEM?

>> NOW, WE DEMOCRATS WOULDPREFER THESE ITEMS PASS AND

BECOME LAW.

BUT IF REPUBLICANS CONTINUE TOOPPOSE THESE ISSUES, THEY'LL DO

SO AT THEIR OWN POLITICAL RISK.

THAT'S THE DISTINCTION WE WILLDRAW IN NOVEMBER.

>> Jon: FOR ONCE A YEAR --

-- IT IS WRITTEN THAT IN OUR11th MONTH, WE GATHER AS A

CONGREGATION TO DRAW ADISTINCTION BETWEEN, AS

MAIMONIDES PUT IT, FECKLESSNESSAND OBSTRUCTIONISM.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING --THAT --

(LAUGHTER)LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING -- NO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(BLEEP) KILLED AT MYBAR MITZVAH. KILLED!

SCHUMER JUST LAUNCHED THE FAIRSHOT AGENDA

LIKE A CLAY PIGEON FORREPUBLICANS TO

SHOOT DOWN, SO THAT DEMOCRATSCOULD THEN RUN MIDTERM CAMPAIGN

ADS LIKE THESE.

>> HEY, MITCH, WHY DO YOUREFUSE TO GIVE STUDENTS THE SAME

LOAN RATES AS THOSE BIG BANKS

>> WHILE VOTING 17 TIMES AGAINSTRAISING THE MINIMUM WAGE.

>> WILL YOU FINALLY GIVE WOMENEQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK?

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: OH...

HATERS, GONNA HATE, HATE --WELL, I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE IT

OFF...

A'YUP.

GOOD WORK, SENATE DEMOCRATS!

YOU FIGURED OUT HOW TO TURNPERPETUAL GRIDLOCK INTO

PERPETUAL GRIDLOCK-ADE.

OF COURSE, REPUBLICANS DO THESAME THING IN THE CHAMBER THEY

CONTROL.

YOU EVER WONDER WHY THE HOUSEWASTED EVERYONE'S TIME ON 54

FAILED VOTES TO REPEAL ALL ORPART OF OBAMACARE?

HERE'S WHY.

>> BARBER HAS FALLEN IN LINEWITH OBAMA AND PELOSI, EVEN

VOTING TO DEFEND OBAMACARE.

>> CONGRESSMAN AMI BERA VOTED TOKEEP IT.

>> SCHNEIDER VOTED TOKEEP OBAMACARE.

>> BARROW VOTED TO KEEPOBAMACARE NOT ONCE

BUT THREE TIMES!

>> OF COURSE, HE WANTSOBAMACARE!

LOOK AT HIS FREAKISHLYDISFIGURED BODY!

CREEPY GIANT HEAD AND HISFREAKISH FINGERS!

BEFORE OBAMACARE THAT'DBE A PRE-EXISTING CONDITION.

RIGHT NOW YOU'RE PROBABLY SAYINGTO YOURSELF, I CANNOT BELIEVE

HOW CHILDISH AND CYNICAL OURCONGRESS HAS BECOME.

WELL DON'T THROW UP YET.

>> SENATE REPUBLICANS AREHELPING DEMOCRATS MOVE

LEGISLATION ON EQUAL PAY ANDCAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM.

>> Jon: WHAT!

OH, MY GOSH, I WOULD SAY HOORAYFOR THAT IF I DIDN'T KNOW IN MY

HEART THAT THERE MUST BE SOMECRAVEN RUSE THAT WOULD

BONERIZE MACHIAVELLI AT PLAYHERE.

>> AWAY FROM THE MICROPHONESENATE REPUBLICANS ACKNOWLEDGE

THEY ARE CHEWING UP TIME ON THESENATE FLOOR TO AVOID

TOUGH VOTES. BY EXTENDING DEBATEON THESE TWO ISSUES THEY ARE

OCCUPYING THE REMAINING FEW DAYSON THE LEGISLATIVE CALENDAR.

AND THAT'S PREVENTING DEMOCRATSLED BY SENATE MAJORITY LEADER

HARRY REID TO SCHEDULEA POLITICALLY VOLATILE

VOTES BEFORE THE FALL RECESS.

>> Jon: WELL COME TO YOUR NEWCONGRESS, PEOPLE.

YOU SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING?

SO THEY SAY, I SEE YOUR ATTACKAD BAIT AND I RAISE YOU

TIME-KILLING, FALSE COOPERATION.

DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS ARE ONA BAD DATE.

DEMOCRATS KNOW THE REPUBLICANSDON'T WANT TO BE THERE, AND

REPUBLICANS KNOW THAT THEDEMOCRATS KNOW THE REPUBLICANS

DON'T WANT TO BE THERE.

(LAUGHTER)SO IN THEIR CYNICISM, THE

DEMOCRATS HAVE ASKED -- WANNASEE THE DESSERT MENU?

AND OUT OF SPITE, THEREPUBLICANS HAVE SAID, BRING

OVER THE WHOLE (BLEEP) CART.

(LAUGHTER)AND THE ESPRESSO MACHINE,

BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS ALL NIGHTLONG!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE SEX, BUTI'M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU DON'T

GET TO (BLEEP) ANYBODY ELSEEITHER.

SO PERHAPS IT'S TIME TO UPDATETHE CLASSIC

HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW.

♪ I'M JUST A BILL ♪ AND IT'S MAKING ME ILL

♪ NOW I WON'T EVEN BE A CAMPAIGN♪ SO I'M JUST HOLDING MY DICK

♪ AS I SIT HERE AND WAIT ♪

♪ WHILE THE BAD MOTHER (BLEEP)HOLD A PHONY DEBATE ♪

♪ I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

♪ I'M DONE ♪ I'LL BUY A GUN

♪ AND MY BRAINS I WILL SPILL ONSTEPS OF THE CAPITOL HILL ♪♪

>> Jon: OH MY GOD, SOMEBODYGET A BROOM!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WELCOMEBACK. AS YOU KNOW, THE

UNITED NATIONS GENERALASSEMBLY MET IN NEW YORK LAST

WEEK, AND AS WITH EVERY YEAR, ITWAS PRETTY MUCH THE MARCH OF

THE WOODEN POLITICANSPONTIFICATING TO APATHETIC,

HALF-FILLED ROOMS. -- ITWAS REALLY WAIT, WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?

>> INDIAN PRIME MINISTERNARENDRA MODI WAS GIVEN A

SUPERSTAR RECEPTION AS HEADDRESSED A SELLOUT CROWD AT NEW

YORK'S MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.

>> 20,000 MEMBERS OF THEINDIAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY TURNED

OUT.

>> Jon: 20,000 PEOPLE?

NO WORLD LEADER HAS DRAWN THATMANY AMERICANS FOR ANYTHING!

EXCEPT MAYBE ONE OF YOURBERLUSCONI BUNGA BUNGA PARTIES.

BUT TO BE FAIR, THOSE PARTIESOFFERED BUNGA BUNGA.

SO A TRIUMPHANT MOMENT FOR THENEWLY ELECTED INDIAN PRIME

MINISTER MODI.

ARE YOU ENJOYING THAT? YOU LIKE THAT?

(LAUGHTER)IT IS GOOD!

LISTEN, MODI, YOU'RE PLAYINGM.S.G., BABY. THIS IS JAY AND

BEY'S HOUSE. YOUGOT TO BRING IT.

SO I HOPE "TEAM MODI" KNOWS HOWTO PUT ON A SHOW.

>> YOUR EMCEE FOR TODAY,

MISS AMERICA 2014!

(MUSIC, "USA" CHANT)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(MUSIC, "USA" CHANT)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: SO, WAIT -- HOW DIDHE DO THAT?

BUT IT WASN'T JUST INDIANAMERICANS WHO WERE

MAD FOR MODI. EVERYONE WANTED APIECE OF THE NEW STAR,

HILLARY CLINTON, BILLDE BLASIO, CHRIS CHRISTIE,

CEOS FROM G.E., I.B.M., GOLDMANSACHS, EVEN THE

BIG DOG HIMSELF WHO I CAN ONLYASSUME TURNED TO MODI AND SAID,

MUST BE NICE TO STILL HAVE THATNEW LEADER SMELL!

WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,MODI, WHATEVER YOU DO,

DON'T GIVE YOUR PEOPLEHEALTH INSURANCE

BECAUSE IT JUST (BLEEP) YOU INTHE END!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BUT YOU KNOW, THE DEMOCRATS

THE DEMOCRATS DIDN'TTAKE TO MODI NEARLY AS MUCH AS

THE REPUBLICANS WHO WERE TOTALLYWON OVER BY MODI'S

PRO-BUSINESS MESSAGE.

>> PRIME MINISTER MODI HAS FAREXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS.

>> IT WAS A VERY POWERFULSPEECH.

I THOUGHT IT ELECTRIFIED THEAUDIENCE HERE.

>> THIS NEW PRIME MINISTERMR. MODI IS WHAT I THINK WILL

BECOME THE NEXT RONALD REAGANFOR THE WORLD.

>> Jon: THE NEXT RONALDREAGAN -- BLESSED BE THY NAME --

(LAUGHTER)THAT'S A SACRED HONOR USUALLY

ONLY RESERVED FOR AIRPORTS ANDPOST OFFICES.

CAN MODI LIVE UP TOTHE NAME?

>> SOME SUGGEST THAT THE ADORINGCROWDS IN MADISON SQUARE GARDEN

WERE REPRESENTATIVE OF INDIA'SWEALTHY AND NOT INDIA'S POOR

MAJORITY, WHO THEY SAY WEREBEING HARMED BY MODI'S

POLICIES OF DEREGULATIONAND PRIVATIZATION.

>> THEY ALSO SAY THAT HISECONOMIC CREDENTIALS AND

POLICIES ARE ONLY HELPINGTHE 1%, THE RICH.

>> Jon: HE IS THE NEW RAEGAN.

(APPLAUSE)BUT, OF COURSE, REAGAN WAS

KNOWN AS THE GREAT COMMUNICATOR,RAEGAN WAS A

GREAT COMMUNICATOR, SOMETHINGMODI WILL HAVE TO LIVE UP TO.

AND ON SATURDAY, MODI SPOKE ATCENTRAL PARK.

WHERE HE HAD A CHANCE TO PROVEHIS REAGANISMS AS A MAN WHO CAN

SPEAK TO ALL CULTURES AND ALLPEOPLES. MISTER PRIME MINISTER,

SHARE YOUR WORDS IN WAYS WEAMERICANS CAN UNDERSTAND.

>> GOD BLESS YOU! MAY THE FORCEBE WITH YOU!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: WAIT A MINUTE!

DO OTHER COUNTRIES THINK THAT WEACTUALLY BELIEVE IN "STAR WARS"?

I NOW HONOR THE WORDS OF YOURPROPHET, DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS

NO TRY!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Jon: WELCOME BACK!

MY GUEST TONIGHT,

AN ACTOR WHOSE LATEST FILM ISCALLED "GONE GIRL."

>> SO, YOUR WIFE HAS NO FRIENDSHERE.

IS SHE KIND OF STAND OFFISH, IVYLEAGUE?

RUBS PEOPLE THE WRONG WAY?

>> SHE'S FROM NEW YORK.

SHE'S COMPLICATED.

SHE'S GOT VERY HIGH STANDARDS.

>> TYPE A. WELL, THAT CAN MAKEYOU CRAZY IF YOU'RE

NOT LIKE THAT. YOU SEEM PRETTYLAID BACK, TYPE B.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, AMY'S BLOODTYPE.

>> GOD, I DON'T KNOW, I'D HAVETO LOOK IT UP AT THE HOUSE.

>> YOU DON'T KNOW IF SHE HASFRIENDS, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE

DOES ALL DAY AND YOU DON'T KNOWYOUR WIFE'S BLOOD TYPE.

>> ARE YOU SURE Y'ALL AREMARRIED?

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TOTHE PROGRAM, BEN AFFLECK!

♪♪(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

♪♪(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: I'LL TELL YOU IN ASECOND WHAT MADE ME LAUGH.

TERRIBLE. SO, SO I'LL TELL YOUWHAT MADE ME LAUGH.

SO YOU'RE BEEFING UP OBVIOUSLYFOR THE BATMAN ROLE, BUT

WHEN YOU CAME UP ON TO THESTAIRS AND WE HAD A LITTLE BRO

HUG, IT WAS VERY LITTLE.>> A TASTE.

>> Jon: A TASTE. IREALLY FELT LIKE YOUR SON AFTER

A LITTLE LEAGUE GAME. LIKE WHENYOU CAME OUT LIKE THAT I WAS

LIKE THANKS DAD,THANKS FOR COMING.

(LAUGHTER)>> INFIELD SINGLE IS AS GOOD AS

ANYTHING ELSE, KID. A WALK IS ASGOOD AS A HIT, JON, YOU DID

GREAT.>> Jon: WALK IS GOOD AS A HIT!

WALK IS AS GOOD AS A HIT. BOY,THIS...

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, CAN WE JUST,WE HAD A BIT, BUT I JUST WANT...

>> Jon: YES.>> TO GO BACK BECAUSE

SOMETHING'S BEEN ON MY MIND.>> Jon: PLEASE.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.

>> YOU KNOW THAT I DID A, LET MESTART HERE...

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> YOU DIRECTED A MOVIE, RIGHT?

A MOVIE CALLED ROSE WATER, ISTHAT RIGHT?

>> I MIGHT HAVE DONE SOMETHINGLIKE THAT.

>> YES. SO THIS...

>> Jon: MAYBE COMING OUT INNOVEMBER.

>> SURE THAT'S GREAT. SO THISMOVIE, THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT IRAN,

RIGHT? I MEAN THERE'S SOMEIRAN IN THAT MOVIE?

>> Jon: IT TAKES PLACE IN, BUTIT'S REALLY A UNIVERSAL STORY OF

HOPE.>> NO, NO.

>> Jon: IT'S REALLY UH... ITDOES TAKE PLACE IN UH...

(LAUGHTER)>> THAT'S TERRIFIC. BUT DO YOU

KNOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO, YOUKNOW, I DID A MOVIE ABOUT IRAN.

RIGHT?>> Jon: NOW I'M NOT...

>> WELL I'M TRYING TO THINK IFTHERE'S LIKE A LESS

BABYISH WORD THAN COPY CAT. BUTI DON'T UH...

>> Jon: WHAT MOVIE? WHAT WAS THENAME? BECAUSE I DON'T...

>> WELL, ORIGINALLY IT WASCALLED "ARG-ROSEWATER."

>> Jon: I THOUGHT...

AND THEN SOME (BLEEP) GUY MADEROSEWATER, SO...

>> Jon: I THOUGHT...>> WHO WOULD CALL A MOVIE

"ARGO" JUST OFF THE BAT, YOUKNOW?

>> Jon: I THOUGHT YOU DIRECTEDFARGO.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

I THOUGHT, NOW I FEELBADLY. IT TURNS OUT, THAT THEY

INCARCERATE MORE THAN ONEPERSON.

BUT YOU, LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUAND THE WORK YOU'RE GOING.

>> Jon: THE GOODWORK YOU'RE DOING.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: THE TREMENDOUS WORKYOU'RE DOING.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: THIS "GONE GIRL,"FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE IN

TWO OF THE MOST HIGHLYANTICIPATED MOVIES,

YOU'VE GOT "GONE GIRL," YOU'VEGOT "BATMAN VERSUS SUPERMAN."

TWO OF THE MOST HIGHLYANTICIPATED, HIGHLY SECRETIVE,

AND THIS IS NO, AND I HATE TO DOTHIS, BUT IT'S, OKAY, HERE'S THE

THING, IF I CAN?>> DON'T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY.

>> Jon: STOP IT.>> OKAY, NO.

>> Jon: SO, IN"GONE GIRL," HE KILLS HIS WIFE.

IN BATMAN AND SUPERMAN, SUPERMANDEFEATS BATMAN, SO IT'S, IT'S --

>> WHAT THE (BLEEP)!

>> Jon: I'M JUST TELLINGTHEM...

>> ARE YOU (BLEEP) KIDDING ME?

I HAVE A (BLEEP) TALK WITH YOUFIVE MINUTES AGO IN THE THING

AND IT'S LIKE HEY, WE'RE IN SHOWBUSINESS, CUT ME IN ON THE

THING -- YOU PUT IT ON THE SHOW!

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: YOU DID NOT SAY DON'T

TELL EVERYBODY ON THE SHOW! YOUSAID TO ME --

>> THE MOVIE COMES OUT INMARCH OF 2016!

>> Jon: BUT THAT'S WHY I THOUGHTYOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO WAIT!

I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT THEMTO WAIT.

>> IT TOOK TWO YEARS... IT'SACTUALLY COOL.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

>> DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'SFINE, IT'S FINE.

>> THIS IS, LISTEN, SO THIS ISSO THIS IS HIGHLY ANTICIPATED.

DAVID FINCHER "GONE GIRL,"WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS

"BATMAN VERSUS SUPERMAN" LATER.>> JUST SORT OF...

>> Jon: FINCHER IS PHENOMENAL.

>> NO, HE'S GREAT.

HE'S GREAT. AND FOR THIS FILM,

(LAUGHTER)FOR THIS FILM, WHAT THEY WANTED,

I DON'T WANT TO SAY GHOSTDIRECTOR, BUT, YOU KNOW,

DAVID'S --

>> Jon: OH, DID HE COME TO YOUFOR A LOT OF ADVICE?

>> A LOT OF HELP.

>> Jon: OH REALLY? I DIDN'TREALIZE THAT.

>> HE'S A GUY WHO'S, YOU KNOW...>> Jon: HE SEEMS VERY COMPETENT.

>> HE'S NEW. HE'S NEW, AND HE'SLOOKING FOR HELP AND HE CAME TO

ME AND SAID, HEY, BEN, YOUKNOW WHAT I MEAN,

YOU WOULDN'T MIND MAKING LIKETHE DECISIONS ON THE MOVIE?

NO PROBLEM, DAVE! YOU'RE A GOODKID YOU'RE JUST STARTING OUT.

>> Jon: SO IN TERMS OF CASTINGMAYBE THE ENTIRE MOVIE,

THAT'S MOSTLY YOU. ROSAMUNDPIKE,

WHO'S THIS AMAZING ACTRESS.

>> VIRTUALLY EVERY SHOT IN THEMOVIE, I AM ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE

FOR.

>> Jon: REALLY? >> YES.

>> Jon: BECAUSE IT'S ALSO, IT'SGETTING TREMENDOUS REVIEWS

AND YOUR WORK IN IT.

>> I KNOW, ISN'T THAT FUNNY!

>> Jon: YES!

>> I WASN'T GOING TO COME OUT INFRONT OF THE MOVIE. AND THEN I

SAW...>> Jon: YOU'D LOVE THAT.

>> NO BUT, THETRUTH IS, DAVID IS AN AMAZING --

>> Jon: THE GUY'S BRILLIANT.>> MASTER.

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.>> I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE,

IT WAS AS MUCH ABOUT GETTINGTO ACT FOR HIM WHICH IS

REALLY GREAT BECAUSE HE REALLYPROTECTS YOU AND HE'S SO SMART

AND HE MADE SUCH A SMART MOVIEAND IT'S ALSO LIKE STEALING

STUFF AS A DIRECTOR. YOU KNOWWHAT I MEAN?

>> Jon: YOU CHECK HIM OUT, YOUSEE WHAT HE'S DOING...

>> I'LL DO THAT.

>> Jon: AND THESE ARE BOTHTHE KIND OF MOVIES.

THE FANDOM FOR BATMAN ANDSUPERMAN AND, YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE IN, YOU'RE IN THESWAMPS, MAN...

>> YEAH.>> Jon: WHERE PEOPLE ARE GONNA,

THEY HAVE VERY HIGHEXPECTATIONS FOR THIS KIND OF

STUFF.>> OH, YES, MY FRIEND.

>> Jon: BUT THE "GONE GIRL"DELIVERS IN SPADES.

I MEAN TERRIFIC.>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, GILLIAN WROTE AGREAT BOOK.

AND IT'S TRUE YOU HAVE LIKE,AND IT'S ABOUT NOT ONLY THEIR

EXPECTATIONS BUT IT'SABOUT MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS

AND A LOT OF, AND IT'S DARK ANDIT'S A LOT OF HOT BUTTON STUFF,

SO YOU DEFINITELY, AND PEOPLEHAVE EXPECTATIONS ON YOU

DEFINITELY HAVE TO TREAD LIGHTLYBUT AT THE END OF THE DAY

I WAS WORKING WITH TWO GREATPEOPLE.

>> Jon: IT LIVES UP TO IT. IT'SEXCELLENT.

>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERYMUCH.

>> AND THEN, BEFORE WE GO. IT'SIN THE THEATERS ON FRIDAY.

BUT BATMAN ANDSUPERMAN. I SAY THIS AND --

>> HOLY (BLEEP)!>> Jon: JUST, JUST --

>> I DON'T -->> Jon: I JUST WANT TO TRY AND--

>> DON'T GIVE AWAY ANYTHINGELSE.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.BUT IT'S JUST, TO ME --

>> YEP.

>> Jon: -- THE TRANSITION FROMADAM WEST TO PEOPLE THAT ARE IN

SHAPE, LIKE YOURSELF --(LAUGHTER)

IT REALLY MAKES ME WONDER IF THENEXT ITERATION OF BATMAN, I MEAN

HE'S JUST GOING TO LOSETHE ENTIRE UTILITY BELT.

(LAUGHTER)IT MAKES ME WONDER, WHAT DO YOU

NEED THE GRAPPLING HOOK FOR ANDSMOKE BOMB IF YOU CAN KICK

PEOPLE'S ASSES JUST NORMALLY.

>> IT'S -- THAT RULES ME OUT,BUT, YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

YOU HAVE TO, LIKE YOU, FORROSE-ARGO --

>> Jon: STOP IT.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO GET INSHAPE.

>> Jon: I DO THINK THAT YOU MADEA MISTAKE GOING UP AGAINST

SUPERMAN BECAUSE HE'S SUPERMAN.

>> HE'S NO JOKE, I'LL TELL YOUTHAT.

>> Jon: HE'S NO JOKE, I MEANHE CAN FLY.

LIKE NO MATTER HOW GOODYOU DO, HE CAN FLY.

>> HE CAN. YEAH. YOU DIDN'T GETHERE BY ACCIDENT, MY FRIEND.

>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOUSOMETHING, THOUGH,

YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEFIGHT WITH SUPERMAN AND YOU'RE

LIKE -- YOU KNOW --(LAUGHTER)

AND THEN SUPERMAN IS JUST LIKE,MMMMM (BLEEP) HIS LASERS AT YOU

(BLEEP).

AND THEN HE JUST FLIES, LIKE --(LAUGHTER)

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN THROWLIKE YOUR NET, YOU'RE DONE!

>> I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING TOSPOIL THIS.

(LAUGHTER)THERE'S NO WAY. THERE IT IS.

>> Jon: IS THAT?

>> THAT IS THE SMOKE PELLET,YEAH. AND NOW

YOU'VE GIVEN IT AWAY ALONGSIDETHE ENDING OF THE MOVIE AND MY

OTHER MOVIE.

SO THAT'S ABOUT IT.

>> Jon: I'M A TERRIBLE,TERRIBLE INTERVIEWER.

"GONE GIRL," WHICH IS GREAT,YOU'VE GOT TO GO SEE IT.

AND HE'S GREAT IN IT.

IN THEATERS FRIDAY.

BEN AFFLECK, EVERYBODY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW!

HERE IT IS...

YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> YOU DON'T RETREAT.

YOU RELOAD WITH TRUTH, WHICH IKNOW IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES AT

1400 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,ANYWAY, TRUTH.

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