June 26, 2014 - Melissa McCarthy

  • Episode: 19126 | 
  • Views: 434,034

Republicans spout incongruous domestic and foreign policy ideas, Samantha Bee reports on child labor in the U.S., and Melissa McCarthy discusses her film "Tammy." 

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILYSHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, OH, WE LOVE,WE LOVE THIS WOMAN,

MELISSA McCARTHY IS GOING TO BEJOINING US TONIGHT.

WE'RE SO PLEASED ABOUT THAT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]BUT FIRST, IT'S A FUNNY STORY,

REMEMBER THAT TIME WEINVADED IRAQ TO REMOVE THE

THREAT OF THE WORLD'S MOSTDANGEROUS PEOPLE USING THE

WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS WEAPONSAND IT TURNED OUT THE THREAT

WASN'T THERE? WELL, GOODNEWS, THE THREAT'S THERE NOW.

[LAUGHTER]IN SOME MEASURE DUE TO THE

DESTABILIZING EFFECT OF OURINTERVENTION.

AND, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THEPEOPLE WHO HYPED THE ORIGINAL

PLAN WOULD LIKE TO DO NOW.

>> WE MUST GRAPPLE WITH HOW BESTTO HELP IRAQ MEET THIS THREAT.

>> IT IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIALTHAT WE STOP ISIS FROM GAINING

THIS FOOTHOLD IN IRAQ.

>> WE NEED AIR POWER IMMEDIATELYTO STOP THE ADVANCE.

>> WE HAVE TO ACT.

WE MUST ACT.

>> Jon: WE MUST.

[LAUGHTER]ACT.

WELL, IF WE DO, I THINK YOU'REGOING TO NEED ACTING LESSONS.

LOOK. BUT I DO LOOK FORWARD TOYOU AND YOUR FRIENDS STARRING IN

A NEW PLAY CALLED "A STREETCARNAMED WE'RE ALWAYS WRONG."

[LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT. LISTEN UP.

HERE'S HOW WE DO IT -- BY THEWAY, IRAQ ISN'T THE ONLY PLACE

THAT THESE GUYS WANT THE PLAY TOOPEN.

>> I SUPPORT PUTTING PEOPLE INAFRICA.

THAT'S WHERE THIS WAR IS HEADED.

>> CHAD HAS BEEN SCREAMING FORHELP FROM THE UNITED STATES.

>> IN LIBYA WE CAN HAVE AINFLUENCE.

>> HELPING THE RESISTANCE INSYRIA.

>> WHATEVER THE KURDS NEED WESHOULD PROVIDE THEM.

>> HELP ARM THE UKRAINIANPEOPLE.

>> Jon: THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTEFOR AMERICAN MILITARY

ASSISTANCE.

IN FACT, IN A BLIND WEAPONSTEST, NINE OUT OF TEN CLIENT

STATES PREFER WEAPONS FROM THEUNITED STATES TO THOSE FROM I

CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT AMERICA.

YES, THERE IS APPARENTLY NOCOUNTRY REPUBLICANS WILL NOT PUT

UNDER THE PROTECTION OF THEUNITED STATES.

EXCEPT ONE.

>> SENATE REPUBLICANS TODAYDEFEATED A $60 BILLION PLAN FOR

INFRASTRUCTURE JOBS.

>> SENATE REPUBLICANS BLOCKING ABILL THAT WOULD RENEW EXPIRED

TAX BREAKS.

>> BLOCKED A $21 BILLIONVETERANS BILL.

>> BLOCKED AN INCREASE IN THEMINIMUM WAGE.

>> BLOCKED THE PAYCHECK FAIRNESSACT.

>> BLOCK UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS.

>> NO IS WHAT THE AMERICANPEOPLE WANT.

>> WE'RE THE PARTY OF HELL NO.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: WELL, I JUST WANT YOU

TO KNOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE ATERRIBLE PARTY.

I MEAN, WITH WILL THERE BEDANCING AND PIZZA?

>> HELL NO.

>> Jon: OH! I GOT AN IDEA.

I GOT AN IDEA.

HOW ABOUT NOT MAKING IT HARDERFOR PEOPLE TO GET FOOD STAMPS.

>> HELL NO.

>> Jon: OKAY.

DO YOU DO ANYTHING BUT COMPLAINBITTERLY ANYMORE?

>> HELL NO.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: IF YOU'RE A DOODIE

HEAD, SAY "HELL NO."

>> HELL NO.[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: NOW, BUT SERIOUSLY, THEYMUST HAVE... THE REPUBLICANS

MUST HAVE GOOD REASONS FORBLOCKING EVERY DOMESTIC BILL

THAT COMES ACROSS THEIR DESKS.

>> WE CANNOT AFFORD IT.

WE JUST DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.

>> AMERICA'S GOING BROKE.

>> THE GOVERNMENT IS BROKE.

>> YOU CAN'T KEEP SPENDING MOREMONEY THAN YOU HAVE.

>> Jon: WE'RE SPENDING MONEYWILLY-NILLY.

AND DID YOU KNOW WE'RE SAVING UPTO GET A MORE PATRIOTIC

AMERICAN STATUE OF LIBERTY.

BA-BAM!

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE ALL KINDS OFREASONS WHY REPUBLICANS BELIEVE

DOMESTIC SPENDING IS FOLLY.

>> BIG GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WORK.

>> MASSIVE GOVERNMENT SPENDING,PARTICULARLY DEBT SPENDING, IS

NOT THE SOLUTION.

>> LAST THING WE WANT DO IS ADDTO THE DEBT AND DEFICIT.

>> THE NEGATIVE UNINTENDEDCONSEQUENCES OF OUR GOODINTENTIONS.

>> RAMPANT WASTE, FRAUD ANDABUSE.

>> WE NEED TO MAKE SURE OURPROGRAMS ENCOURAGE WORK, NOT

DEPENDENCE.

>> OUR POLICY CANNOT BE TOSIMPLY RELEGATE MORE AND MORE OF

OUR CITIZENS TO DEPENDENCEON THE GOVERNMENT.

>> Jon: BY THE WAY, DOES OUT OFCONTROL GOVERNMENT SPENDING HAVE

THE SAME CORRUPTING EFFECT ONNON-AMERICANS.

>> AMERICA'S GOAL IN IRAQ WAS TOHELP THE IRAQI PEOPLE TO

BUILD A DEMOCRATIC NATION THATCAN GOVERN ITSELF.

>> CREATE REAL DEMOCRACY FORPEOPLE WHO WANT IT.

>> WE HELP AFGHANS BEGIN TOBUILD A NEW DEMOCRACY, BUILD

THEIR ECONOMY AND PROVIDE BASICSERVICE AND EXPAND HEALTH CARE

AS WELL AS OPEN UP SCHOOLS.

>> AND ALLOWING FOR FREEDOM TOSPREAD AROUND THE WORLD.

>> Jon: SO BASICALLY WHEN WEGIVE OTHER COUNTRIES GOVERNMENT

ASSISTANCE, THEY HANDLE ITGREAT.

BUT WHEN WE GET IT OURSELVES, WE[BLEEPED] IT ALL UP.

[LAUGHTER]WHY IS IT YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE

ABOUT UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES,WASTE, FRAUD AND ABUSE AND

CULTURE DEPENDENCY WHEN IT COMESTO THE UNLIMITED CHECKBOOK WE

HAVE FOR FOREIGNMILITARY ADVENTURES?

>> OF COURSE THE WAR HAS BEENCOSTLY, BUT WE'VE BEEN PROTECTED

FROM ATTACK HERE AT HOME.

>> Jon: BULL [BLEEPED].

PUTTING ASIDE THE QUESTIONABLECONTENTION THAT THE WARS IN IRAQ

AND AFGHANISTAN HAVE KEPT USSAFE HERE AT HOME, YOU DO KNOW

TERRORISM ISN'T THE ONLY THINGAMERICANS WOULD LIKE TO BE

PROTECTED FROM.

>> THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF CIVILENGINEERS GIVES AMERICA'S

CRUMBLING INFRASTRUCTURE AD-PLUS.

>> THE V.A. SAYS AT LEAST 23PEOPLE HAVE DIED WAITING FOR

CARE.

>> 50 MILLION AMERICANS LIVINGBELOW THE FEDERAL POVERTY LINE.

>> TEMPERATURES COULD GO UP BY 9DEGREES THIS CENTURY, AND SEA

LEVELS COULD RISE AN EXTRA 10 TO21 INCHES.

>> 30 AMERICANS DIE FROM GUNVIOLENCE IN THIS COUNTRY EVERY

SINGLE DAY.

>> Jon: NONE OF IT ISTERRORISM, RIGHT?

BECAUSE THEN WE'D HAVE DOSOMETHING ABOUT IT.

IF THERE WAS ONE MAN WHOEMBODIED THE ETHOS OF THE

REPUBLICAN PARTY IN THIS REGARD,I'D HAVE TO SAY, IT'S OUR OLD

FRIEND JEFF SESSIONS OF ALABAMA.NEVER MET A WAR APPROPRIATIONS

BILL HE DIDN'T LIKE. HAPPY TOSPEND THE MONEY OVERSEAS.

>> WE MADE A COMMITMENT TO OURTROOPS, AND THEY'RE PREPARED TO

PUT THEIR LIVES AT STAKE FOR US.

AND, I DON'T THINK THEY OUGHT TOBE THE SLIGHTEST SUGGESTION IN

ANY WAY THAT WE'RE NOT GOING TOHONOR THAT COMMITMENT.

>> WHO DO I MAKE THE CHECK OUTTO, SIR?

AND OF COURSE, HE'S NOT TOOWORRIED ABOUT HOW IT'S GOING TO

WORK OUT.

>> SO YOU HAVE FAITH THAT THECOST OF THIS WAR IN CASUALTIES

AND THE COST OF LIKE HALF ATRILLION DOLLARS OF RISKS IN

TERMS OF GETTING PEOPLE IN THEWORLD NOT LIKING WHAT WE'RE

DOING WHICH IS FAIRLY OBVIOUS ISALL WORTH IT BECAUSE IF WE DO

FAIL, THINGS FAIL, AND WE COMEHOME OR WE COME HOME AND AFTER

WE COME HOME, IT FAILS OVERTHERE, THEY GO BACK TO

SOME MILITARY COUP.

ISN'T THAT DANGER THAT WE CAN'TCHANGE THE COURSE OF A COUNTRY

IF WE'RE ONLY GOING TO BE THEREA LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME?

>> WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT'SGOING TO HAPPEN.

>> Jon: OH, HE DOESN'T BELIEVEIT!

WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]UNLIMITED MONEY TO GO OVER

THERE.

I DON'T THINK ANYTHING BAD'SGOING TO HAPPEN.

WELL, HOW ABOUT SPENDING SOMEMONEY ON CLEANING UP THE MESS

YOU MADE HERE AT HOME FOR THEVETERANS.

>> WE NEED TO RESIST THETEMPTATION TO CREATE MORE

ENTITLEMENTS AND MOREENTITLEMENTS, WHICH IS ONE OF

THE REASONS THAT WE'RE HEADINGRECKLESSLY TO A FISCAL CRISIS.

BUT I DON'T THINK WE SHOULDCREATE A BLANK CHECK, AN

UNLIMITED ENTITLEMENT PROGRAMNOW.

>> Jon: GO [BLEEPED] YOURSELF.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M WORRIED.

I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THEREPUBLICANS.

THEIR INABILITY TO WEANTHEMSELVES OFF OF MILITARY

INTERVENTION.

THEY HAVE A CULTURE OFDEFENDANCY, IF YOU, WILL AND I

BELIEVE IT'S TURNED THEM ALLINTO WARFARE QUEENS.

AND, I THINK WE NEED TO CUT THEMOFF FOR THEIR OWN GOOD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Jon: HELLO! WELCOME BACK.

YOU KNOW, SUMMER'S HERE.

SCHOOL'S OUT. SOMEKIDS ARE OFF TO CAMP.

OTHERS MAY BE TAKING A SUMMERJOB.

AND, THERE MIGHT BE MOREOPPORTUNITIES OUT THERE THAN YOU

THINK.

SAM BEE REPORTS.

>> FARMING, IT'S THE BACKBONE OFTHIS COUNTRY, BUT DID YOU KNOW

IT BENEFITS WORKERS OF ALLSIZES.

>> CHILDREN AS YOUNG AS SEVENARE LEGALLY WORKING IN U.S.

TOBACCO FIELDS.

>> YES, ACCORDING TO A LOOPHOLEIN OUR AGRICULTURAL LABOR LAWS,

OUR HARD-WORKING TYKES ARE FREETO PICK AS MUCH TOBACCO AS THEY

WANT.

AND FOR KENTUCKY TOBACCO FARMERAND STATE SENATOR PAUL HORNBACK,

IT'S THE BEST THING FOR 'EM.

>> IT'S LONG DAYS.

IT'S IN THE HEAT.

IT'S OUT THERE IN THE SUN.

SOME DAYS IT MAY BE 100 DEGREES,BUT THAT'S NOT BAD.

THERE ARE LOTS OF PLACES TO GETSHADE, TO COOL OFF, TO REST FOR

A LITTLE WHILE.

>> WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO PEOPLEWHO SAY, "THIS WORK IS TOO

DANGEROUS FOR 12-YEAR-OLDS?"

>> CHILDREN NEED TO EXPERIENCETHINGS.

>> BUT NOT TOBACCOFARMING, ACCORDING TO A NEW

REPORT BY HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH.

AND, THEY'RE PUSHING FOR A LAWTO BAN THE PRACTICE.

>> WE DON'T NEED MORE LAWS ONTHE BOOKS TO TRY TO PROTECT

EVERYBODY FROM EVERYTHING THATTHERE IS OUT THERE.

>> KIDS ARE TOUGHER THAN WE GIVETHEM CREDIT FOR?

>> THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

WHEN I WAS A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD, IWAS WANTING TO WORK.

I WAS WANTING TO DO WHAT THE MENWERE DOING.

>> HE WAS RIGHT.

WORKING ON FAMILY FARM FILLED MEWITH PRIDE.

AND NO ONE KNOWS BETTER THANTHESE THREE TOBACCO-PULLING

SCAMPS WHO HAVE ENJOYED WORKINGON A DIFFERENT TOBACCO FARM IN

NORTH CAROLINA SINCE THEY WERE12.

SO TELL ME ABOUT YOUREXPERIENCES WORKING ON THE

TOBACCO FARMS.

I'LL START YOU OFF.

YOUR GRAND PAPPY WAKES YOU UP.

YOU GET A NICE, NUTRITIOUSBREAKFAST OF FARM FRESH CHICKEN

EGGS.

MAYBE THE FARMER'S WIFE BRINGSYOU A COOL DRINK OF LEMONADE TO

REFRESH YOU.

>> NO.

>> DEFINITELY NOT.

IT'S TOTALLY THE OPPOSITE.

>> IT'S REALLY NOTHING LIKETHAT.

>> NO.

>> WE'RE NOT THE FARMER'SFAMILY.

WE'RE ACTUALLY WORKING FOR THEFARMER, AND THEY DON'T EVEN

BRING US WATER SOMETIMES.

THEY BARELY GIVE US BREAKS.

>> ALL KIDS COMPLAIN ABOUT WORK.

>> KIDS DO COMPLAIN A LOT.

>> WE'RE RAISING A SOCIETYTHAT'S TOO SOFT.

>> WHAT I'M HEARING FROM YOU ISTHAT AMERICAN CHILDREN ARE

PUSSIES. >> THEY'RE SOFT.

>> I APPRECIATE THAT YOU WON'TSAY IT, BUT JUST NOD IF YOU

THINK AMERICA'SCHILDREN ARE PUSSIES.

>> IT'S SOME OF THE HARDEST WORKTHAT YOU COULD EVER DO.

BUT, WE TAKE THE SAFEGUARDS. YOUMAY SEE A TEN-YEAR-OLD OUT

THERE PICKING TOBACCO, BUT YOUWON'T SEE HIM THERE ALL DAY.

>> I WORKED 12 HOURS DAY IN THETOBACCO FARM.

>> OR SOMETIMES A LITTLE BITLONGER.

>> OH, AND IS THAT, IS THATTYPICAL?

>> FROM THE SUN COMES OUT UNTILTHE SUN COMES DOWN.

>> HOW MANY SHADY NAPS DID YOUGET TO TAKE TO REFRESH YOURSELF?

>> I HAVE NOT TAKING ANY NAPSWORKING.

>> YOU'RE OUT THERE ALL DAYIN THE HOT SUN. IT'S LIKE 100

SOMETHING DEGREES OUTSIDE.

>>IT'S LIKE 90 SOMETHING DEGRESSOUTSIDE AND AND WE'RE WORKING.

>> I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO SOMETEENAGERS WHO TOOK PRIDE IN

THEIR WORK.

AND THE KILLJOYS AT HUMAN RIGHTSWATCH DON'T WANT AMERICA'S

CHILDREN EXPERIENCING THEPLEASURE OF TOBACCO.

WHICH THEY ARE NOT YET LEGALLYALLOWED TO PURCHASE.

>> A TOBACCO FARM IS NO PLACEFOR CHILD.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, MY SON IS 16YEARS OLD.

AND HE STILL WEARS VELCROSNEAKERS.

I WISH I COULD SEND HIM TO ATOBACCO FIELD TO LET HIM DO AN

HONEST DAY'S WORK.

>> BUT MANY OF THE CHILDREN WETALKED TO REPORTED SYMPTOM

CONSISTENT WITH ACCUTENICOTINE POISONING FROM

HANDLING TOBACCO PLANTS:NAUSEA, VOMITING, HEADACHES,

DIZZINESS.

>> OH COME ON, HAVEN'T WE ALLFELT DIZZY AND NAUSEOUS

WHILE AT WORK?

>> NO, I DON'T GET SICK AT WORK.

>> MAYBE YOU NEED TO WORK ALITTLE HARDER.

I'M CONSTANTLY THROWING UP AT MYJOB.

>> I USED TO GET SICK AT LEASTLIKE THREE TIMES EVERY SUMMER.

>> LIKE SICK WITH EXCITEMENT?

>> THROW UP.

HEADACHE.

IT SEEMS LIKE THE WORLD WASREVOLVING AROUND MY HEAD.

I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO DIE.

>> ACUTE NICOTINE POISONING ISREALLY NOT THAT BIG A PROBLEM.

IT'S NO DIFFERENT FROM HAVING A24-HOUR VIRUS WHERE YOU HAVE A

STOMACH VIRUS.

>> IT'S LIKE ONE COUGH ORFAINTING SPELL OR VOMIT ATTACK

AND EVERYONE STARTS FREAKINGOUT.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> YOU KNOW?

>> AND WE DO THINGS, LIKE WEARTHE PLASTIC GARBAGE BAGS.

WE DO THOSE THINGS TO PROTECTOUR HEALTH.

AND I FURNISH ALL OF THAT.

>> SEE, OUR CHILDREN ARE ALREADYPAMPERED WITH THE HEFTIEST

SAFETY TECHNOLOGY GLADLYPROVIDED WE THE FARMERS.

KIRKLAND?

>> THE FARMER DOES NOT BRING USANYTHING LIKE THAT.

WE HAVE TO PROVIDE OUR OWNSTUFF.

>> YES. WE HAVE TO BUY ITOURSELVES GLOVES, BAGS.

>> OKAY.

WOW.

YOU'RE MAKING IT VERY HARD FORME TO IRONICALLY SUPPORT CHILD

TOBACCO LABOR.

>> WHAT WILL BE NEXT?

CAN THEY NOT WORK OUT IN THEHEAT THEN PICKING PUMPKINS?

CAN THEY NOT WORKING PICKINGGREEN BEANS.

>> FIRST THEY CAME FOR OUR CHILDTOBACCO FARMERS AND I SAID

NOTHING BECAUSE I HAD ACUTENICOTINE POISONING AND WAS

DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN.

BUT, LUCKILY FOR PAUL, TOBACCOWORK CAN STILL LEGALLY TEACH OUR

CHILDREN ONE INVALUABLE LESSON.

>> YOU NEVER APPRECIATE A GOODJOB UNTIL YOU'VE HAD BAD ONE.

>> YOU'RE SO RIGHT.

THOSE CHILDREN ARE GOING TOAPPRECIATE THE [BLEEPED] OUT OF

THEIR NEXT JOB.

>> SAMANTHA BEE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, SHE GOT A NEWMOVIE OUT CALLED "TAMMY."

>> DO IT, DO IT!

OKAY.

THE CORNER.

>> WHOA.

>> OH.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

OH, GOD.

MARK TWAN NATIONAL FOREST?

WHERE ARE WE?

>> WE'RE IN MISSOURI.

WE WENT IN THE WRONG DIRECTIONAND YOU DO KNOW WHO MARK TWAIN

IS, RIGHT?

>> I KNOW WHO HE IS.

GOOD GUY.

HE'S A GOOD GUY.

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TOTHE PROGRAM MELISSA McCARTHY.

COME ON! LADY!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]MELISSA McCARTHY IS HERE.

MELISSA McCARTHY IS HERE.

MELISSA McCARTHY.

HOW ARE YOU?

>> THERE'S ALWAYS THAT FEAR OFLIKE TIPPING RIGHT OVER.

>> Jon: CAN I TELL YOUSOMETHING?

WE NEARLY KILLED JIMMY CARTER.

>> OH JESUS, REALLY?

>> Jon: A FEW YEARS BACK. LET MESHOW, OH,

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE IT REALLY.YOU SEE THIS LITTLE,

THIS LITTLE PART RIGHT HERE,THIS LITTLE EDGE PART?

SO, THAT WASN'T HERE AT ALL.

AND JIMMY CARTER SAT DOWN...

>> OH GOD.

>> Jon: AND KICKED BACK,AND THIS THING WENT WINK

AND TOOK HIM TO THE EDGE OFCONCUSSION TOWN.

[LAUGHTER]ISN'T THAT CRAZY?

>> I HAD A JIMMY CARTER WIND-UPPEANUT AS A CHILD.

>> Jon: DID YOU REALLY?

>> YEAH.

THOSE WERE THE COOL TOYS IPLAYED WITH.

I LOVED IT.

IT HAD JIMMY CARTER'S, WE WENTTO WASHINGTON, D.C. AND

I GOT A PEANUT WITH JIMMYCARTER'S FACE ON IT AND TWO

LITTLE FEET.

AND WHEN YOU WOUND IT UP, ITWENT.

I STILL HAVE IT SOMEWHERE.

I WAS LIKE, THAT'S AWESOME.

>> Jon: YOU, YOU, YOU WORKEDWITH YOUR HUSBAND ON THIS?

>> I DID.

>> Jon: YOU WROTE IT WITH HIM?

>> I DID.

>> Jon: HE DIRECTED IT.

>> I KNOW.

>> Jon: DO YOU STILL LIKE EACHOTHER?

>> NO. NO.>> Jon: I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

>> WE HAVE NOT SPOKEN IN MONTHS,AND BY "MONTHS," I MEAN A YEAR

AND A HALF.

NO, NO IT WAS, I KNOW EVERYBODYIS LIKE, THAT SEEMS LIKE A

RECIPE FOR DISASTER.I LOVED IT.

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> HE'S THE CALMEST, NICEST GUY,AND HE'S A REAL SMARTY AND HE'S

REALLY FUNNY.

THAT'S KIND OF HOW HE DIRECTED.

>> Jon: THAT'S NICE.>> YEAH.

>> Jon: DID YOU EVER SEE, WASTHERE EVER A SIDE, YOU KNOW,

IN A SCENE LIKE IT WASN'T GOINGSO AND LIKE ALL OF

A SUDDEN HE TURNED RED AND FIREDA CHILD? LIKE WAS THERE

ANYTHING LIKE THAT, WHERE HE WASLIKE, I'VE NEVER

SEEN YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THATBEFORE?

>> ONLY ON THE DAY HE WOREJODHPURS AND LIKE YELLED AT ME

THROUGH A WAS LIKE, "DO ITAGAIN, McCARTHY. BOO!"

LOTS OF THAT. I KIND OF WANTEDONE DAY.

I WAS LIKE, AREN'T YOU GOING TOGO CRAZY AT LEAST ONCE?

>> Jon: YOU'VE GOT TO. HAVE YOUEVER WORKED WITH A DIRECTOR

LIKE THAT WAS LIKE JUST EDGY ANDMADE IT A LITTLE BIT TOUGH?

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THEIRNAMES, ALTHOUGH IF YOU WOULD

LIKE TO.

>> OH, I'LL NAME NAMES.NO, I DID ONE COMMERCIAL,

AND THE PERSON NEVER CAMEDOWN. IT WAS A GUY.

I DON'T KNOW WHO IT WAS...>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> BECAUSE HE NEVER CAME DOWN TOSAY, LIKE, HEY, THANKS FOR

SHOWING UP. NOTHING. HE STAYEDWAY UP IN LIKE A GLASS BOOTH

SOMEWHERE. AND HE JUST YELLED ATUS THROUGH A SPEAKER ALL DAY.

IT WAS THE WEIRDEST THING.

AND, AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS AJOKE.

AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.AND I WAS LIKE,

COULD YOU IMAGINE IF HE JUSTDID THAT ALL DAY?

>> Jon: AND HE DID IT ALL DAY.

>> AND THAT'S WHEN THE AD WASLIKE LET'S NOT... LET'S NOT...

THAT'S PROBABLY NOT FUNNY.

I WAS LIKE, AND IT WAS ALLLIKE I WAS JUST MOVING BOXES.

IT WAS LIKE A FACTORY FROM ONEPLACE TO ANOTHER.

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.

>> SO HE'S LIKE, A LITTLE MOREENERGY.

WELL, DON'T GO CRAZY. SO I WASLIKE...

>> Jon: FIND YOUR CENTER.

>> I KNOW. SO HOWEVER I WASMOVING BOXES SUCKED APPARENTLY

BECAUSE I WAS EITHER TOO FAST ORTOO SLOW AND THERE WERE

THREE OF US AND NOBODY KNEWWHO HE WAS YELLING AT.

>> Jon: I WENT ON A COMMERCIALAUDITION YEARS AGO. IT WAS LIKE

WHEN YOU WOULD GO IN FORLIKE CHILIS AND THEY'RE LIKE

IT'S YOU AND THREE PEOPLE YOUNEVER MET BEFORE LIKE

"YOU'RE BEST FRIENDS AND YOU'REHAVING NACHO PARTY AND THESE

NAPKINS ARE NACHOS.

AND YOU'RE LIKE "GO."

NUMBER THREE, HAVE FUN.

>> IT'S SO...NUMBER THREE,YOU'RE UPSETTING US.

>> Jon: RIGHT. THIS IS THE MOSTFUN I'VE EVER HAD.

>> I WENT IN. THERE WAS,THERE'S ALWAYS, GOD BLESS,

THERE'S ALWAYS ONE PERSON,THAT'S LIKE A BUNCH OF

NICE PEOPLE, EVERYONE ISJUST TRYING TO GET A JOB, AND

THEN THERE'S ALWAYS ONE CRAZY,WHICH IS PROBABLY IN ANY GROUP.

BUT THERE WAS A GIRL THAT CAMESTORMING IN THE ROOM ONCE.

THERE WERE LIKE 15 OF US, ANDTHEN 15 KIDS, AND THEN LITERALLY

THERE WERE LIKE WEIRD DOLLS,IT WAS A HUGE AREA WHERE

THERE WERE TEN DIFFERENTCOMMERCIALS. AND I KNEW, IT WAS

LIKE I NEVER GOT HIRED FOR THOSEBECAUSE THEY HATED ME.

AND THIS GIRL CAME STORMING INAND LIKE WITH ALL THE ENERGY OF

LIKE A JUST A TRUE MAYBEUNBALANCED GAL IN HER 20S.

>> Jon: A DIVA.

>> TRYING TO MAKE, SHELITERALLY CAME UP TO ME. SHE WAS

LIKE "ALRIGHT" AND WENT IN FORLIKE SOME KIND OF CLAPPING

THING. BEFORE, BEFORE LIKE COOLHANDSHAKES WERE IN.

AND THEN LIKE IMMEDIATELY SATDOWN AND WAS LIKE TRYING TO BE

IN ON A JOKE THAT NO ONE ELSEWAS IN. AND THEN WHEN WE WENT

IN, I PROBABLY SHOULDNOT BE TELLING THIS STORY.

I'M LITERALLY PSYCHO-ANALYZINGTHIS GIRL. IT'S TERRIBLE.

>> Jon: TELL IT!

TELL IT!

>> WE WENT IN AND SHE GOES, YOUGUYS ARE MY FRIENDS,

SO JUST LET ME SET IT UP.

WE'RE COOL.

AND I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOWYOU.

AND SHE'S LIKE, JUST LET ME SETIT UP. WE GO WAY BACK.

AND SHE CAME IN, SHE'S LIKE HEYYOU GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LIKE THEY CLEARLY DIDN'T KNOWHER.

THEY'RE LIKE, WHAT HAVE YOU BEENUP TO?

AND SHE'S LIKE, OH YOU KNOW,JUST GOT OVER AN ABORTION,

DOING COOL. HANGING COOL.

>> Jon: OH, MY GOD.

>> HANGING COOL, DOING WHAT IDO, AUDITIONING A LOT.

LIKE IT WAS LIKE ABORTION,HANGING COOL, GETTING THE WORD

OUT ABOUT MY ACTING.

AND I LITERALLY WAS JUST LIKE...

LIKE I KNOW I WENT REAL WEIRD.

I THINK I STARTED JUST BEINGLIKE, I CAN TAKE MYSELF OUT OF

THE ROOM. AND SHE'S LIKE KIND OFHANGING ON ME LIKE WE'RE BUDS.

I WAS LIKE, OH, I'M GETTING SONAUSEOUS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

THERE'S NO ANSWER TO THAT.>> Jon: NO.

>> AND THEN STRANGELY WE DID NOTGET THAT JOB.

>> Jon: REALLY?

WHEN IS "TAMMY"... "TAMMY" ISCOMING OUT ON THE SECOND.

>> THE SECOND.

>> Jon: THIS IS GOING TO BE AHUGE BLOCKBUSTER.

AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHY.

>> WHY?

>> Jon: PEOPLE LOVE MELISSAMcCARTHY.

>> WELL YOU.

>> PEOPLE LOVE, I LOVE MELISSAMcCARTHY.

MELISSA McCARTHY, EVERYBODY.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: HEY, EVERYBODY.

THAT'S OUR SHOW. LISTEN UP,

SO I'M -- I'VE PROBABLY DONETHESE DAMN "DAILY SHOWS"

PROBABLY ABOUT 2,400, 2,500 OFTHESE, OF THESE THINGS.

WE GOT A WRITER HERE, NAME OFJ.R. HAVLAN HE HAS PROBABLY

DONE 2,800, 2,900, OF THESETHINGS AND HE HAS DECIDED

FOR WHATEVER REASON, AFTER ONLY2,900, THAT

YEAH, I'M GOOD, THAT'S ENOUGH.

BOY, WE'RE GOING TO MISS HIM.

A GREAT WRITER.

HE HAS LIKE, LIKE THE SHOW,EVOLVED, GROWN FROM, YOU KNOW, A

COMIC-TURNED WRITER TO ANACCOMPLISHED WRITER WITH JUST A

LOVELY WIFE AND FAMILY AND JUSTA GREAT GUY.

SO J.R. HAVLAN, WE'RE GOING TOMISS YOU.

HERE'S YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> A LOT OF QUESTIONS, HEY,CRAIG, HOW COME YOU'RE SUCH A

CUTUP, SUCH A CARD?

>> WELL, IT TAKES THE COMBINEDEFFORTS OF A NUMBER OF HIGHLY

TRAINED PEOPLE.

LET'S MEET "THE DAILY SHOW"WRITERS.

>> SMALL FORWARD, OBTAINEDHIS GED FROM THE JUVENILE

DETENTION CENTER IN DANVILLE,CALIFORNIA, J.R. HALVLAN,

MY BABY.

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