April 10, 2014 - Jennifer Garner

  • Episode: 19090 | 
  • Views: 526,170

Stephen Colbert makes an exciting career move, college athletes struggle to unionize, and Jennifer Garner shares Kevin Costner's off-set activities while filming "Draft Day." 

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]GOOD MORNING.

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT.

MY GUEST TONIGHT FROM THE NEWFILM "DRAFT DAY" JENNIFER GARNER

IS JOINING US. BUTBEFORE WE START AS YOU

CAN IMAGINE, IT'S BEEN A BIT OFA WILD DAY AROUND HERE.

YOU MAY REMEMBER A FEW YEARSBACK THERE WAS A GENTLEMAN ON

THIS PROGRAM BY THE NAME OFSTEPHEN COLBERT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]HE WAS -- YEA HIGH, SKIN LIKE

PORCELAIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]VERY TALENTED ACTOR, WRITER,

DANCER, IMPROVISATIONALCOMEDIAN.

WE WOULD OCCASIONALLY SEND HIMOUT INTO THE FIELD, USUALLY WITH

SOME TYPE OF FRUIT AND WEWOULD SEE WHERE THE DAY TOOK US.

>> THERE'S AN ALLEGATION THATTHE PRINCE HAD A GAY EXPERIENCE.

>> YOUR WORDS, NOT MINE, JON.

BUT I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH, IFIT WAS SUBSTANTIATED.

[LAUGHTER]NOT GAY, JON, ARISTOCRATIC, IT'S

A DIFFERENT CULTURE THAN OURS.

>> Jon: WHAT IS DIFFERENTABOUT IT?

[LAUGHTER]>> YOU KNOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]MAINLY HOW GAY IT IS.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: OKAY.

SO --[LAUGHTER]

BY THE WAY WE SPENT ALL DAYLOOKING UP OLD STUFF ON THE

INTERNET OF STEPHEN.

IT'S REALLY FUN.

I MEAN WORKING, WE WERE WORKING.

TRULY ONE OF GREAT PLEASURES OFDOING THIS WILL SHOW HAS BEEN

TRYING TO MAINTAIN PROFESSIONALCOMPOSURE WHILST MR. COLBERT IS

MAKING ME LAUGH UNCONTROLIBLY.

THE EXCITING NEWS TODAY IS I NOLONGER NEED A CABLE SUBSCRIPTION

FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF WATCHINGSTEPHEN COLBERT.

OUR GOOD FRIEND STEPHEN COLBERTWILL BE HEADING TO CBS TO TAKE

OVER THE LATE SHOW FROM, FOR ATLEAST ME, THE COMEDIAN

BROADCASTER WHO IS THE BESTTHERE EVER WAS, DAVID LETTERMAN.

I THINK THE BEST THERE EVER WAS.

AND I THINK -- HERE IS THEEXCITING THING FOR ME.

I THINK STEPHEN COLBERT IS UPFOR THE CHALLENGE.

WHILE WE WISH DAVE THE ABSOLUTEBEST FOR A WELL EARNED

RETIREMENT, THERE'S NO GREATERJOY THAN SEEING A GENUINELY GOOD

MAN WHO WORKS AS HARD AS HE CANEVERY DAY AND DESERVES ALL THE

SUCCESS IN THE WORLD ACTUALLYGET THAT SUCCESS.

FOR STEPHEN WE'RE JUST THRILLED.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]IT WILL BE,

HERE IS WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARDTO BE ABLE TO WALK DOWN BROADWAY

AND LOOK UP AT THE ED SULLIVANTHEATER MARQUEE AND SEE

THE "LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHENCOLBERT, ASSUMING THAT IS

WHERE THEY TAPE IT.THERE IS ALSO, YOU KNOW, A

THEATER ACROSS THE STREET FROMUS HERE WHICH I

BELIEVE IS CURRENTLY REFERREDTO AS THE HUSTLER CLUB.

BOTH VENUES PRETTY FAMILIAR WITHTHE PRESENCE OF ED SULLIVAN.

MY POINT IS THIS --[LAUGHTER]

GODSPEED TO BOTH MEN.

TURNING TO THE WORLD OF SPORT --BAD SEGUE.

THIS WEEK SAW MARCH MADNESS DRAWTO A CLOSE WITH CHAMPIONSHIP

WINS FOR BOTH THE UNIVERSITY OFCONNECTICUT MEN'S AND WOMEN'S

BASKETBALL TEAMS.

WOOF -- THEY ARE THE HUSKIES.

LET'S GO RIGHT OUT TO HEAR FROMTHE MOST OUTSTANDING PLAYER OF

FINAL FOUR, SHABAZZ NAPIER.

>> WE DO HAVE HUNGRY NIGHTS THATWE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO

GET FOOD. THERE ARE HUNGRYNIGHTS WHERE I'M NOT ABLE TO EAT

AND I STILL HAVE TO PLAY UP TOMY CAPABILITIES.

THERE ARE HUNGRY NIGHTS THAT IGO TO BED AND I'M STARVING.

>> Jon: I'M SORRY, I DON'TUNDERSTAND SURELY YOUR WEALTHY

PARENTS AND OR LOCAL BASKETBALLPATRONS CAN SEND YOU A

LOT OF MONEY SO YOUCAN ORDER FOOD.

HOW COULD A GUY PLAYING ON THEBIGGEST STAGE IN COLLEGE SPORTS

BE GOING HUNGRY.

>> IF YOU COME FROM A LOW INCOMEURBAN ENVIRONMENT THERE'S NO MOM

SEND ME A MEAL CARD.

SEND ME MONEY.

I RAN OUT OF CASH.

THEY HAVE NOTHING TO FALL BACKON THAT'S WHY A LOT OF THESE

GUYS END UP GOING TO BED HUNGRY.

>> Jon: SOME OF THE PLAYERSINTEGRAL TO THE NCAA TOURNAMENT

DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO EAT.

BUT I GUESS THAT'S THE PRICE YOUPAY TO BE INVOLVED IN A

STRUGGLING START-UP CHARITYTOURNAMENT LIKE MARCH MADNESS.

>> THE NCAA SIGNING THISLANDMARK 14 YEAR DEAL WITH

TURNER BROADCASTING AND CBSSPORTS. GET THIS.

$10.8 BILLION AGREEMENT.

>> ESTIMATES SUGGEST THE COLLEGESPORTS INDUSTRY GENERATES ON

AVERAGE $11 BILLION IN REVENUEANNUALLY.

>> Jon: OKAY, BUT WAIT, THATIS PRETAX.

[ LAUGHTER ]THAT IS PRETAX.

THAT IS GROSS.

[ LAUGHTER ]IT'S GROSS.

IT'S -- IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOWWHAT, WAIT A MINUTE, I FORGOT,

ACTUALLY IT'S $11 BILLIONBECAUSE ANYWAY THEY ARE A

NONPROFIT. THE NCAAIS A NONPROFIT.

SO $11 BILLION IN I GUESSNOTHING BUT NET WOULD BE THE

PHRASE.

[LAUGHTER]IT SOUNDS LIKE GOING UP AGAINST

A NONPROFIT MONOPOLY LIKE THENCAA WOULD MAKE IT DIFFICULT

FOR ATHLETES TO IMPROVE THEIRCONDITIONS.

IN A GAME CHANGING DECISION ANATIONAL LABOR RELATIONS BOARD

FOUND FOOTBALL PLAYERS ATNORTHWESTERN NOW QUALIFY AS

UNIVERSITY EMPLOYEES WHICH MEANSTHEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO UNIONIZE.

>> Jon: UNIONS?

[LAUGHTER]SINCE WHEN DO UNIONS BELONG IN

COLLEGE SPORTS?

THEY ARE SOCIALIST AND COMMUNISTCOLLECTIVES.

SPORTS ARE ABOUT PEOPLE COMINGTOGETHER AS A GROUP WORKING

TOWARDS A COMMON GOAL FROM EACHACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY,

PUTTING THE TEAM AHEAD OF THE --OH, MY GOD!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]WAIT A MINUTE.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

I KNEW THAT PICTURE OF STALINLOOKED FAMILIAR.

HOW DID THE NCAA REACT TO THISDECISION?

>> THE NCAA SAYS IT'SDISAPPOINTED WITH THE RULING

ADDING STUDENTS PLAY FOR THELOVE OF SPORT NOT FOR A SALARY.

>> Jon: YES, THE LOVE OF SPORTMUCH LIKE THE NCAA BROADCASTS

MARCH MADNESS FOR THE LOVE OFTHE SPORT.

NOT FOR A $10.8 BILLION CONTRACTWHICH THEY ALSO LOVE.

THE HEAD OF NCAA MARKEMMERT WOULD LIKE TO REMIND

THESE AT-TIME HUNGRY INDIVIDUALSWHAT THEY ARE REALLY

BEING PAID WITH IS THE MOSTPRECIOUS GIFT OF ALL.

>> THE GAME CHANGER FOR A YOUNGPERSON IN LIFE IS THAT THEY GET

AN EDUCATION.

THEY ARE SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE OFWHAT THEY LEARNED AS A STUDENT

ATHLETE AND WHAT THEY GAINED INTHE CLASSROOM.

>> Jon: THIS IS EXACTLY RIGHTAND WHILE MANY BIG-TIME COLLEGE

SPORTS SCHOOLS HAVE MADE AMOCKERY OF ACADEMIC STANDARDS

FOR ATHLETES IN ORDER TOCONTINUE TO COMPETE AT THE

HIGHEST LEVELS CREATING NO SHOWCLASSES, PREDETERMINED MAJORS

AND GRADES TO MAINTAIN THEILLUSION OF ACADEMIC COMPLIANCE.

POINT TAKEN. STUDENT -- STUDENTSTILL COMES BEFORE ATHLETE.

>> PLAYERS SPEND 50-60 HOURSA WEEK ENGAGING IN FOOTBALL

RELATED ACTIVITIES.

>> Jon: ALL THAT MEANS IS THATSOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO

MANAGE YOUR TIME MORE CAREFULLY.

[ LAUGHTER ]BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE IF THESE ATHLETES WHO HAVEJUST DIRECTLY POURED MILLIONS

INTO THE COFFERS OF THEUNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT ARE

HUNGRY, THEY COULD TAKEADVANTAGE OF THE LOCAL

BUSINESSES WHO ARE GIVING AWAYEVERYTHING FROM DRINKS TO FROYO

TO THE CRAZIEST OFBREADS TO REWARD UCONN'S

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS. IF OFCOURSE THAT WAS IN ANY WAY LEGAL

UNDER NCAA RULES GOVERNING THEACCEPTANCE BY ATHLETES OF

ANYTHING OF MONETARYOR CALORIC VALUE.

>> OKLAHOMA SELFREPORTING THREE STUDENTS

RECEIVED FOOD IN EXCESS OF NCAAREGULATIONS AT

A GRADUATION BANQUET. THEYWERE PROVIDED PASTA IN

EXCESS OF THEPERMISSIBLE AMOUNT.

>> Jon: IF I MAY HERE IS ADRAMATIC REENACTMENT OF THE NCAA

ENFORCING THAT REGULATION.

HEY, HEY, (bleep).

YEAH, HALF A CUP OF PENNE,(bleep), HALF A CUP.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN DUNKWITH BOTH HANDS, HALF A CUP OF

PENNE.

SO WHAT EXACTLY IS WRONG WITHPLAYERS BANDING TOGETHER TO

NEGOTIATE THEMSELVES A FAIRSITUATION?

ONCE AGAIN THE PRESIDENT OF THENCAA?

>> TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK THENOTION OF USING A UNION EMPLOYEE

MODEL TO SOMETHING THAT STRIKESMOST PEOPLE AS A GROSSLY

INAPPROPRIATE SOLUTION TO THEPROBLEMS.

IT WOULD BLOW UP EVERYTHINGABOUT THE COLLEGIATE MODEL OF

ATHLETICS.

>> Jon: AND WE LIKE OUREXPLOITATIVE, OVERWHELMINGLY

FINANCIALLY ADVANTAGEOUS TO USDRACONIAN COLLEGIATE MODEL.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW THE OLDEXPRESSION, IF THEY ARE BROKE,

WHY FIX IT? SO, THAT'S HOW THE NCAA FEELS.

BUT THAT'S JUST AN ORGANIZATION.

I'M SURE THE COACHES, THE GUYSWHO SPEND EVERY DAY WITH THESE

KIDS.

I BET THE COACHES ARE ON THEIRSIDE.

>> I'M A FOOTBALL COACH, I'M ATEACHER, I'M AN EDUCATOR. THIS

ISN'T WHAT I SIGNED UP TO BE. ISIGNED UP TO HELP THESE GUYS

TO DEVELOP TO BE THE BEST THEYCAN BE NOT TO BE AN EMPLOYER.

>> Jon: I DON'T WANT TO GETTECHNICAL OF COURSE YOU ARE NOT

THE EMPLOYER, YOU'RE KIND OFTHE SUPERVISOR, THE FLOOR

MANAGER. THE FLOOR BEING100 YARDS LONG AND YOU

CAN AT YOUR WHIM GET THEM TO RUNBACK AND FORTH ON

UNTIL THEY VOMIT ORMORE SPECIFICALLY DRY HEAVE

SEEING AS THERE'S NOT A LOT OFFOOD IN THE BELLY. BUT LISTEN,

YOU ARE AN EDUCATOR, YOU'RERIGHT. BUT WITH ONE SMALL

SOMEWHAT CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE.

>> HEAD COACHES AT 44 SCHOOLS INTHE NCAA'S FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP

BOWL GAMES MAKE AN AVERAGE OF $2MILLION IN SALARIES AND IN 40 OF

THE 50 STATES PUBLIC UNIVERSITYHEAD FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL

COACHES ARE THE HIGHEST PAIDPUBLIC EMPLOYEES.

>> Jon: EXCUSE ME THEY PREFERTHE TERM EDUCATOR.

BUT ALL RIGHT, SO AS WE DO ATTHE END OF EVERY MARCH MADNESS A

SALUTE TO THE HEROES, TO THEEDUCATORS OF THESE FINE STUDENT

ATHLETES.

♪ ONE SHININGMOMENT YOU REACH FOR THE SKY ♪

♪ ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU KNEW,ONE SHINING MOMENT YOU WERE

WILLING TO TRY ♪♪ ONE SHINING MOMENT YOU KNEW.

>> Jon: YEAH, IT GETS ME EVERYTIME.

[ LAUGHTER ]WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

YOU KNOW AMERICA HAS IN MY MINDA LONG TRADITION OF POLITICAL

ATTACK ADS.

IN THE 2010 WEST VIRGINIA SENATERACE DEMOCRAT JOE MANCHIN TOOK

THE ATTACK AD CONCEPT TO ASOMEWHAT MORE LITERAL LEVEL,

USING A DEAD BOLT RIFLETO MURDER A COPY OF THE

FEDERAL CAP AND TRADE BILL.BY THE WAY, THE BILL NOW OF

COURSE RESIDES ABOVE SENATORMANCHIN'S FIREPLACE.

OF COURSE, LIKE ANY VISIONARYMANCHIN HAS HAD HIS IMITATORS.

>> GOVERNMENT RUN HEALTH CARE.WE DON'T WANT IT.

WE DON'T NEED IT. WECAN'T AFFORD IT.

THIS IS WHAT I DO TO THAT LAW.

PULL.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: THAT IS SO PRIMAL.

[ LAUGHTER ]WHAT DOES HE DO TO BILLS HE

LIKES?

[LAUGHTER]REALLY NOT SURE WHAT THAT WAS.

[ LAUGHTER ]I THINK THESE GENTLEMAN MAY HAVE

A FUNDAMENTAL MISUNDERSTANDINGOF HOW LEGISLATION WORKS.

A LAW ISN'T LIKE A HORCRUX FROMHARRY POTTER WHERE

IF YOU DESTROY IT THE THING ITREPRESENTS IS GONE FOREVER.

THAT WOULD BE A VERY BIG HOLE INTHE SYSTEM I SPILLED COFFEE ONTHE

13th AMENDMENT.

BLACK PEOPLE ARE SLAVES AGAIN.

DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

BUT NOW WE'RE HEADING INTO THE2014 MID TERM CAMPAIGN SEASON.

I WONDER IF WE'LL SEE BILLSHOOTING ADS THAT SOMEHOW

OUT (bleep) THE PREVIOUS ONES.

>> THIS IS WILL BROOKE. WE'REDOWN HERE TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN

TODAY AND TALK ABOUT TWOSERIOUS TOPICS, THE SECOND

AMENDMENT AND SEE HOW MUCHDAMAGE WE CAN DO TO THIS COPY OF

OBAMACARE.

>> Jon: OH SCARY. A HANDGUN.C'MON YOU'RE

TRYING TO KILL OBAMACARE OR GIVEIT A FLESH WOUND?

[LAUGHTER]I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WEREN'T DONE

YET.

♪ [LAUGHTER]

HOLY (bleep).

WHEN DID OPPOSING HEALTH CAREREFORM BECOME THE SUNNY DEATH

SCENE FROM THE GODFATHER?

THESE CANDIDATE SHOOTS A LAW ADSARE LIKE DIE HARD SEQUELS. EACH

ONE IS GOING TO BE CRAZIERAND MORE DESPERATE THAN THE

LAST. IT'S HARD TO IMAGINEWHAT COULD COME NEXT.

WELL, NOT THAT HARD.

>> HI THERE, I'M WILSHIREJESSUP, AND I'M HERE TO TALKTO YOU

ABOUT TWO THINGS, AMERICA ANDDOING WEIRD (bleep) TOOBAMACARE.

♪ >> YOU CAN PRAY FOR A QUICK

REPEAL BUT YOU AIN'T GONNA GETIT.

♪ I'M SO SCARED I FALL OFF MYCHAIR AND I'M WONDERING HOW I'LL

GET DOWN THE STAIRS ♪♪

AT LEAST SOMEBODY IS CUTTING

EARMARKS.

[LAUGHTER]♪ STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

>> I'LL WILLSHIRE JESSUP ANDI'LL (bleep) ANY BILL OBAMA

PASSES.

PAID FOR BY CITIZENS AGAINSTPAPER. VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE

SOLELY THOSE OF WILSHIRE JESSUP.TARANTINO,

IF YOU TRY TO SUEME, YOU WILL FAIL.

I'M BROKE AND PAYING CHILDSUPPORT FOR THREE SEPARATE

WOMEN. NOT AFFILIATED WITHNAPALM AGAINST OBAMACARE.

>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, SHE'S GOT ANEW FILM OUT.

IT'S CALLED DRAFT DAY.

>> HOW DOES A GIRL LIKE YOU GETIN THIS GAME, ANYWAY?

>> LAW SCHOOL.

>> LAWYER. SO YOU DON'T GETEXCITED ABOUT ANYTHING.

>> IF I DO MY JOB AND WE HAVEN'TSPENT MORE THAN $125 MILLION ON

PLAYERS BY THE TIME THIS SEASONSTARTS, I GET EXCITED.

>> MIND IF I SIT DOWN.

>> I'M BUSY.

>> WON'T TAKE LONG.

I COULD USE YOUR HELP.

THE BROWNS BROUGHT ME TOCLEVELAND SO THAT EVERYBODY

COULD GET ONE OF THESE.

>> HOW IS IT THAT THE ULTIMATEPRIZE IN THE MOST MACHO SPORT

EVER INVENTED IS A PIECE OFJEWELRY.

>> Jon: THAT'S GOT TO HURT.

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THEPROGRAM, JENNIFER GARNER.

VERY NICE. HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'M GOOD.

>> WHAT HAPPENED THERE.?

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

>> A PIECE OF JEWELRY FALLINGOFF. OK.

>> HOW DOES THAT, WHAT HAVE YOUGOT THERE?

>> IT'S BORROWED SO I MEAN, YOUKNOW.

STILL -->> Jon: CAN I TELL YOU

SOMETHING?

HERE IS WHAT I DO IF I'MJENNIFER GARNER.

I POCKET THAT (bleep).

I DON'T GIVE IT BACK FOR ASECOND.

[LAUGHTER]LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. THIS

IS A PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE THINGON THIS PERFECT DAY.

OUR GOOD FRIEND STEPHEN COLBERT.

>> I KNOW. SO EXCITING.

>> Jon: IS BEING ELEVATED TOTRULY ONE OF MOST DISTINGUISHED

POSITIONS IN ALL OF TELEVISION.

YOU HAVE A UNIQUE RELATIONSHIPWITH STEPHEN COLBERT.

COULD YOU PLEASE DESCRIBE IT FORUS.

>> YOU READY?

>> Jon: I'M READY.

>> I USED TO BABYSIT FOR STEPHENCOLBERT'S KIDS!

>> Jon: BOOM!

BOOM!

HERE IS WHAT IS WEIRD ABOUTTHAT.

STEPHEN COLBERT HAS GOT TO BELIKE

20 YEARS OLDER, THE FACT THATYOU BABYSAT FOR HIM,

I FIND IT A LITTLE WEIRD.

>> STEPHEN AND I, WE WERE GUESTSTARS ON SPIN CITY AT THE SAME

TIME, FOREVER AGO. I HAD MAYBESIX LINES AND BUT HE HAD FOUR.

WE HAD ALL OF THIS TIME TO HANGOUT TOGETHER CAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE

THEY SAID OH WE'RE DONE WITHTHOSE FOOLS LET'S LET THEM GO

FOR THE DAY. THEY JUST FORGOTABOUT US FOR THE WHOLE TIME.

SO WE WERE JUST DOWN HANGINGOUT, AND AT THE END,

HE WAS LIKE, YOU SEEM NORMAL.

[LAUGHTER]WOULD YOU BABYSIT?

SO MY ROOMMATE AND I BABY SATFOR LITTLE MADELEINE.

>> Jon: YOU RAISED THAT KIDRIGHT.

THE OTHER ONES, TOO SMART ASWHIPS. HE'S GOT THREE OF THEMNOW.

WHEN YOU WERE OVER THERE DID YOUPEG STEPHEN FOR GREATNESS?

WAS THERE SOMETHING WITHIN HIMOR DO YOU THINK TO YOURSELF

SURE, $10 AN HOUR, FINE.

>> I WAS NOT MAKING $10 AN HOURI'M SURE OF IT.

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> HE IS SO CHEAP, RIGHT?

>> Jon: BOOM!

BOOM!

YES.

I LOVE IT.

>> I'M SURE HE STILL OWES ME.

I DON'T THINK HE EVER TIPPED ME.

NO, I DON'T EVER REMEMBER.

>> Jon: THIS IS TRULY ONE OFGREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH, HE DIDUSED TO HAVE -- IT SEEMED TO ME

AND MY ROOMMATE KARINA, WE USEDTO TALK ABOUT THIS.

THAT HE WAS COBBLING ITTOGETHER.

HE WAS DOING A LITTLE WRITINGHERE.

HE HAD A LOT GOING ON.

>> Jon: THE MAN HAS PAID HISDUES AND COULDN'T BE IN REALITY

A GENTLER NICER PERSON. LIKEDOWN TO EARTH.

>> SO NICE.

SO MUCH FUN.

IF YOU EVER HAVE TO BE A GUESTSTAR ON A SHOW WHERE YOU HAVE

NOTHING TO DO YOU WANT IT TO BEWITH STEPHEN COLBERT.

Jon: NO QUESTION. OR IF YOU ARELOOKING TO BLOW A WEEKEND AND DO

SOME SHROOMS WITH A REALLYFUN GUY ALSO A GOOD CHOICE.

>> YES, THAT IS YET TO COME.

>> Jon: PROBABLY SHOULDN'THAVE SAID THAT.

BUT, IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU.

THINGS OBVIOUSLY GOING GREATGUNS FOR YOU.

>> YEAH, EVERYTHING IS GREAT.

>> Jon: THE FILM IS GOOD.

>> DRAFT DAY.

IT'S ACTUALLY, IT'S A REALLYSUPER FUN MOVIE.

>> Jon: IT LOOKS REALLY FUN.

ALTHOUGH, OBVIOUSLY YOU SPENDTIME WITH LEARY.

THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE, ITHINK -- YOU KNOW IN A CAREER

YOU HOPE THAT EACH EXPERIENCEYOU HAVE IS BETTER THAN THE

NEXT.

YOU BEGAN BY SHARING TIME WITHSTEPHEN COLBERT BACKSTAGE AND

YOU END UP WITH LEARY AND ITHINK THAT'S -- I DON'T WANT TO

USE THE WORD TRAGIC BUT --

>> DENIS SAID THE NICESTTHINGS ABOUT YOU.

HE TALKED ABOUT HOW YOU WERE THEKINDEST, THE SMARTEST, THE

MOST -- THE MOST GENEROUS OFHEART.

HE SAID HE ALWAYS LOOKED UP TOYOU AS A MENTOR THAT YOU ARE TO

HIM.

[ LAUGHTER ]HE SAID THAT YOU ARE LIKE A BIG

MUCH, MUCH OLDER BROTHER.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT

THIS.

[ LAUGHTER ]WELL, DRAFT DAY, THE JENNIFER

GARNER STARRING VEHICLE, IS ASTARRING VEHICLE FOR JENNIFER

GARNER. SHE IS, BY RIGHTS, THEBEST ACTOR IN IT AND HAS THE TOP

BILLING IN IT. >> ALONG WITH KEVIN COSTNER.

>> ALONG WITH KEVIN COSTNER.

YOU CAN DISS DENIS LEARY. BUTKEVIN, C'MON HE'S KEVIN COSTNER.

>> Jon: HE'S KEVIN.

THERE'S STILL A LOT OF HANDSOMETHERE.

>> THERE IS A LOT OF HANDSOMETHERE.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT, I ALWAYSIMAGINE KEVIN COSTNER LIKE WHEN

HE IS NOT ON SET JUST SLIGHTLYOFFSET SITTING ON A HORSE

SMOKING. FOR NO REASON. JUSTINSIDE. AND YOU ARE

LIKE WHY IS THAT GUY ON A HORSEINSIDE? BUT IT'S LIKE,

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

>> THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.

>> THAT'S KINDA IT, ISN'T IT?

>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT REALLYWAS, HONESTLY? -->> I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW --

REALLY TRULY WHEN HE IS NOTSHOOTING, YOU KNOW, WITH A

CAMERA, HE IS IN THE NEXT ROOMSOME OF HIS BAND MEMBERS CAME

AND THEY WOULD BE THERE PLAYING.

SINGING.

HE'S SINGING ALL THE TIME.

ALWAYS SINGING.

>> Jon: WOW.

THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES THATSTORY BETTER FOR MY TASTE IS IF

IT WAS A MARCHINGBAND. AND IT'S KEVIN COSTNER

AND YOU WALK IN THERE AND HE'SJUST GOING.

GONNA FLY NOW!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BY.

>> THANK YOU.

THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

Jon: IT'S MY PLEASURE.

AND TELL YOUR FELLA I SAIDHELLO.

DRAFT DAY IN THE THEATERS ONFRIDAY.

JENNIFER GARNER.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: THAT IS OUR SHOW.

HERE IT IS YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> CRUISE OFFICIALS SAY THEYWILL NOT CHANGE ONE SHIP'S

ITINERARY EVEN THOUGH DOZENS OF

ITS PASSENGERS HAVE GOTTEN SICK.

I HOPE THAT PLANE CHANNELDOESN'T START ANOTHER

POOP CRUISE SORT OFEXTRAVAGANZA.

BECAUSE HOW WILL WE KNOW WHATHAPPENED TO THE PLANE IF THEY

GO OFF ON POOP CRUISE AGAIN?

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