May 6, 2010 - Mario Batali

  • Episode: 15064
  • (0)

Jason Jones looks for illegals on Cinco de Mayo, and Mario Batali invents a Whopper Double Down.

>> Jon: HEY, EVERYBODY!

WELCOME TO THE DAIL SHOW.

MY NAME IS J.W. STEWART.

WE HAVE A SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

TONIGHT'S GUEST, FAR OWE BATALI.

GREAT CHEF, AUTHOR, TV PERSONALITY.

BAM!

[LAUGHTER]

ANYWAY, IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.

FOLKS, TONIGHT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

THE WORLD HAS EXPLODED.

I DON'T EVEN... BELIEVE ME,

THERE ARE SOME DAYS I COME IN THE OFFICE AND THE BIGGEST STORY IS THAT ON CNN SOME GUY IS

WEARING AN ASCOT.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT IS JUST...

[LAUGHTER]

YOU THINK THAT'S HOW SOMEONE REPORTS THE NEWS TO THE GREAT GATSBY?

BIG NEWS TONIGHT IN PEARL-HANDLED CIGARETTE HOLDERS.

WE CAN'T DO IT, MAN.

[BLEEP] IS FLYING EVERYWHERE.

GREECE IS ON FIRE.

WE'RE TRYING THE CAP THE OIL SPILL.

NASHVILLE AND CENTRAL TENNESSEE STILL FEELING TERRIBLE PAIN FROM THIS HORRIFIC FLOODING.

THE DOW DROPPED 1,000 POINTS,

AND THEN FOR NO APPARENT REASON SHOT UP 700 POINTS.

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN, YOU GET THE FEELING WE ARE ON THE PRECIPICE OF A MAJOR...

[LAUGHTER]

HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

HONEY, WHERE ARE MY TIES?

OH, FORGET IT, I FOUND THE SCISSORS.

HELLO, DRAPES.

I'LL BE HOME AFTER NO ONE STOPS ME FROM WEARING THIS ON TELEVISION.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT IN REAL NEWS, REMEMBER THIS GUY, FAISAL SHAHZAD, A.K.A. THE WANNABOMBER, TURNS OUT... TURNS

OUT HE'S NOT JUST A TERRORIST.

HE'S A MORON.

>> HE DROVE ANOTHER CAR TO TIMES SQUARE LAST FRIDAY, THE DAY BEFORE THE ATTEMPTED BOMBING,

APPARENTLY TO BE HIS GETAWAY CAR, BUT THEY SAY HE LEFT THE GETAWAY KEYS HANGING IN THE REAR

HATCH DOOR OF THE BOMB-CARRYING S.U.V.

>> HE ALSO LEFT BEHIND THE KEYS TO HIS HOME.

HE GETS TO CONNECTICUT, TELLS HIS LANDLORD, I NEED YOUR HELP GETTING INTO MY APARTMENT.

[LAUGHTER]

THEN HE GETS INTO HIS APARTMENT AND REALIZES, I LEFT THE TAP RUNNING, SLIPS ON THE WATER,

FALL ONTO A CACTUS AND FALLS RIGHT INTO HIS BEAR TRAP COLLECTION.

THAT RATTLES HIS BOOKCASE AND HIS BOWLING BALL FALLS RIGHT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO IN THIS COUNTRY WHEN WE GET ATTACKED BY SOMEONE WHO IS NOT ONE OF THE

"HOME ALONE" BURGLARS?

THIS GUY IS [BLEEP].

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MEANWHILE, WHILE ALL THAT'S GOING ON, GREECE'S FINANCIAL CRISIS THREATENS TO TAKE DOWN

ALL OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION.

A CIVILIZATION THEY THEMSELVES FOUNDED.

[LAUGHTER]

A RATHER TRAGIC IRONY, WHICH IS SOMETHING THEY ALSO INVENTED.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT DIDN'T THE GREEKS INVENTS?

>> GREECE IS NOW DROWNING IN DEBT.

FOR MORE THAN A GENERATION,

GREECE HAS BEEN LAX OVER ITS SPENDING, PLAYING OUT SALARIES ON THE GOVERNMENT DIME WITH HUGE

HOLIDAY BONUSES, PAYING EMPLOYEES AS IF THEY WORK 14 MONTHS A YEAR INSTEAD OF 12.

>> Jon: OH, RIGHT, MATH.

THEY DIDN'T INVENT MATH.

[LAUGHTER]

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CUT BACK TO ONLY ONE GOD.

I DON'T KNOW WHO WE'RE GOING TO GO WITH.

MEANWHILE, THE COUNTRY THAT PERFECTED THE DEMOCRACY GREECE INVENTED...

[LAUGHTER]

WE'RE MOVING INTO MID-TERM TERRITORY.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

[LAUGHTER]

I WISH.

I WISH.

I CAN'T KEEP [BLEEP] THAT CHICKEN.

LOOK... WE GET TO SEE, OH,

ERNIE.

WE GET TO SEE HOW POTENTIAL CONGRESS PEOPLE, LIKE FLORIDA REPUBLICAN DAN FANELLI, WOULD

DEAL WITH ISSUES LIKE TERRORISM.

>> DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A TERRORIST OR THIS?

IT'S TIME TO STOP THIS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: WHICH ONE LOOKS LIKE A TERRORIST?

WHICH ONE, DR. KEVORKIAN ON THE LEFT, OR THE CAST MEMBER FROM

"JERSEY SHORE" ON THE RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

WHICH ONE'S THE TERRORIST?

>> LET'S FACE IT, IT'S A GOOD-LOOKING RIPPED GUY WITHOUT

MUCH HAIR WERE FLYING AIRPLANES INTO THE TWIN TOWERS, I WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM BEING PULLED OUT

OF LINE.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT BUST THE BEAUTIFUL BUBBLE YOU'RE

CREATED FOR YOURSELF, BUT REMEMBER THE GUY THAT FLEW A PLANE INTO THE I.R.S. BUILDING?

HE DIDN'T LOOK LIKE EITHER ONE OF THOSE GUYS.

HE LOOKED LIKE YOU.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SO YOU'RE RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.

SEE YOU IN JAIL [BLEEP].

MEANWHILE, REMEMBER THAT MASSIVE OIL SLICK THREATENING THE GULF COAST?

THEY MIGHT HAVE A SOLUTION.

>> THINK OF THIS CONTAINMENT DOME AS A BIG, MASSIVE METAL CONCRETE FUNNEL.

>> A HUGE, ARE U.S.E BOX.

>> A BIG SUCTION CUP.

>> THE BOTTOM OFF OF A MILK CARTON.

>> A BIG CHIMNEY.

THE.

A BUCKET OVER A FIRE HOUSE.

>> A HUGE COFFEE CUP.

>> Jon: A BROOCH, A TEARDACTYL.

SO THE BIG IDEA TO FIX THE OIL SPILL THAT'S GUSHING FROM THE UNDERWATER WELL IS TO COVER IT.

[LAUGHTER]

SEEMS A LITTLE LATE.

JESUS, MY HEAD'S BLEEDING.

OH, HERE, PUT A HAT ON.

THANKS, DOC.

ACTUALLY, IT MIGHT NOT BE AS DIFFICULT AS IT SEEMS.

LET'S TRY AND THIS A DEMONSTRATION HERE.

A LITTLE BIT OF SCIENCE, IF WE WILL.

I HAD THE BOYS DOWN AT "DAILY SHOW" TECH WORK UP A SIMULATION.

NOW, REMEMBER, KIDS...

[LAUGHTER]

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, TRY THIS AT HOME.

IN THE NICEST ROOM IN THE HOUSE.

ALL RIGHT.

SO SAY THIS IS YOUR OIL WELL.

IT'S IN THE WATER THERE.

AND THEN HERE WE GOT A LITTLE EXPLOSION CAUSING... OH, BOY.

ALL RIGHT.

THERE'S THE EXPLOSION.

OKAY.

HOLD ON.

LET ME JUST GET IT.

WAIT.

OKAY.

I ALMOST GOT IT.

HOLD ON.

WAIT.

I THINK I'M GOING TO GET IT.

HOLD ON.

I'M GOING TO GET IT.

OH...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN THE MOST EXPLOSIVE OR JUVENILE STORY OF THE NIGHT.

SANCHEZ, TAKE IT A WAY.

>> HIS NAME IS GEORGE REKERS.

HE CO-FOUNDED THE FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL.

HE GOES ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AS AN ANTI-GAY ACTIVIST.

THIS GUY, REKERS, HAS BEEN REPORTEDLY SPOTTED WITH AN ALLEGED MALE PROSTITUTE.

>> Jon: MAYBE IF WE CAP HIS PENIS, THEY, UH...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THAT WOULD WORK.

YES.

GEORGE REKERS, CO-FOUNDER OF THE ULTRA CONSERVATIVE FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL CAUGHT

VACATIONING IN EUROPE WITH A RENT BOY.

THAT WAS ACTUALLY HIRED FROM A SITE CALLED RENTBOY.COM.

[LAUGHTER]

SEEMS LIKE A FAIR CHARACTERIZATION.

BY THE WAY, IF HE HAD GONE TO PEP BOYS DOT COM, HE MIGHT HAVE SEEN MY AD.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT, LOOK AT THAT.

YEAH.

IT WAS JACK'S IDEA.

REKERS CLAIMED HE HIRED THE MALE PROSTITUTE BECAUSE HE'D RECENTLY

HAD SURGERY AND NEEDED SOMEONE TO HELP HIM CARRY HIS LUGGAGE.

NOW, IF I MAY SHOW YOU A PHOTO,

A LOCAL MIAMI PAPER TOOK OF THE TWO AT THE AIRPORT, FOR THE RECORD, THE RENT BOY IS THE ONE

ON THE RIGHT, NOT TOUCHING THE LUGGAGE.

I ASSUME TO PRESERVE HAND SOFTNESS.

[LAUGHTER]

WHEN CONFRONTED, THE RENT BOY ADMITTED THAT THE TWO HAD HAD SEX, WHILE REKERS CLAIMED HE WAS

MERELY TRYING TO CONVINCE THE RENT BOY TO LEAVE THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE AND "SHARE THE GOSPEL

OF JESUS CHRIST WITH HIM IN GREAT DETAIL." YES, I BELIEVE THEY READ

EXTENSIVELY FROM THE BOOK OF

[BLEEP].

[LAUGHTER]

SO MANY STORIES TODAY.

SO MANY THINGS GOING ON IN THE WORLD.

THINK YOU CAN GUESS WHICH STORY LIT UP "THE DAILY SHOW" SWITCHBOARD?

>> GOOD AFTERNOON, "DAILY SHOW." YES, WE KNOW ABOUT THE GAY CONSERVATIVE.

CONSERVATIVE WITH GAY PROSTITUTE, YES, WE KNOW.

HELLO, DAILY SHOW?

HOMOSEXUAL HUSTLER.

WE KNOW HE'S GAY.

GAY, GAY.

WE KNOW HE'S GAY.

GAY.

GAY.

GAY.

YES, HE'S GAY.

>> Jon: WE W||||

NOW, THANK YOU.

BESIDES ALL OF THE PROBLEMS THAT WE WERE DISCUSSING IN THE FIRST ACT, THE COUNTRY IS ALSO FACING

A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF IMMIGRATION ISSUES.

HOW REALISTIC ARE THE PROPOSED SOLUTIONS?

JASON JONES FILED THIS REPORT.

>> ARIZONA'S NEW IMMIGRATION LAW REQUIRES POLICE TO QUESTION

ANYONE THEY REASONABLY SUSPECT OF BEING AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT.

BUT HOW EXACTLY DO YOU SPOT ILLEGALS?

I WENT OUT ON MAY 5th TO FIND OUT.

>> WHAT WOULD YOU THINK CONSTITUTES REASONABLE SUSPICION?

>> REASONABLE SUSPICION I WOULD SAY IS THEY DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH.

>> IT IS A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF CORONA.

>> PERCEPTION.

>> WHAT WOULD YOU PERCEIVE AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO LOOK LIKE?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> MAYBE THEY'D BE WEARING SOMBREROS OR DRINKING OR EATING SPICY FOOD OR SPEAKING BROKEN ENGLISH.

>> DRINKING.

>> OH, MY GOD, SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR WAS EVERYWHERE.

BUT HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT DETERMINING WHO IS ILLEGAL.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, HOMBRE?

>> RICH.

>> RICH?

>> YEAH.

>> SURE IT IS.

>> IT IS.

>> HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

>> I WALKED.

>> YOU WALKED ALL THE WAY HERE?

>> YEAH, FROM MY WORK.

>> WHAT, PICKING STRAWBERRIES?

HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

>> GRABBED A CAB FROM PENN STATION.

>> SO A FOREIGNER SMUGGLED YOU IN THE BACK OF HIS CAR ALL THE WAY HERE?

>> A FOREIGNER?

NO, I TOOK A CAB FROM PENN STATION.

>> OF COURSE, ESTABLISHING REASONABLE SUSPICION IS JUST THE FIRST STEP.

I'M GOING TO NEED TO SEE YOUR PAPERS.

>> I DON'T HAVE MY WALLET ON ME.

>> I'M FROM THE UNITED STATES.

>> OH, REALLY?

>> YEAH.

>> MOVE IT.

>> HOW DO I PROVE IT.

>> WHICH AMENDMENT PROTECTS CITIZENS FROM UNREASONABLE SEARCHES AND SEIZURES?

>> SEVEN.

>> CHECK THIS OUT.

GUYS, GUYS, UNREASONABLE SEARCH AND SEIZURES, WHAT AMENDMENT?

>> QUATRO.

>> THAT'S A BUNCH OF JOHNNY AMERICANS IN THERE.

IF OUR POLITICIANS DON'T HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO WHAT THEY DID IN ARIZONA, THEN OUR STREETS

WILL BE OVERRUN BY LAZINESS AND LOUD ETHNIC MUSIC.

♪ ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ♪♪

HOWEVER, WE MUST TREAD CAREFULLY BECAUSE ILLEGALS ARE ON A HAIR TRIGGER.

ANYTHING CAN SET THEM OFF.

>> YOU'RE AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT.

>> ARE YOU [BLEEP] KIDDING ME.

I WENT TO COLLEGE.

WHAT THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT.

[BLEEP] YOU, MAN.

>> THERE YOU HAVE IT, THE TRUE FACE OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION.

>> [BLEEP]

>> IT TURNS OUT THERE IS A LINE YOU CAN'T CROSS.

AS AN ILLEGAL, DO YOU FEEL YOUR RIGHTS ARE BEING INFRINGED UPON.

♪ ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ♪♪

>> SADLY, IF ILLEGALS CONTINUE TO ENTER THE COUNTRY AT WILL,

THE AMERICAN VALUES WE HOLD SO DEAR WILL BE DESTROYED.

>> HEY, LOOK AT MY TWO NEW MEXICAN WIVES.

TIME TO KISS THE BRIDES.

CINCO DE MAYO!

>> BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON IS...

♪ ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ♪♪||||

>> Jon: OUR GUEST TONIGHT, A RENOWNED CHEF.

HE OWNS 14 RESTAURANT, WRITTEN EIGHT COOKBOOKS, HIS LATEST BOOK IS CALLED "MOLTO GUSTON: EASY

ITALIAN COOKING." PLEASE WELCOME TO THE PROGRAM MARIO BATALI.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> I BELIEVE THAT IT MAY BE TRADITIONAL IN YOUR FAMILY TO HAVE THE PASTE AS A SECOND COURSE.

SO I BROUGHT THE ANTIPASTO TO FINISH IT OFF.

>> Jon: THIS IS DELIGHTFUL.

IT IS THE MOST AVANT-GARDE SEDER PLATE I'VE EVER SEEN.

>> WHY DO WE EAT THE HAM?

>> Jon: IS THIS FROM THE BOOK?

>> ALL OF IT.

>> Jon: WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? IT SEEMS EASY TO MAKE.

>> THERE'S PEAS, THERE'S ROASTED PEPPERS WITH CAPERSES.

THERE'S PIZELLI.

>> Jon: SURE.

CAN I INTERRUPT YOU VERY QUICKLY.

I HAD TACOZETTI, BUT I HAD IT WITHOUT BZELLI, AND IN MY MOUSE I WAS THINKING, THAT'S TACOZETTI.

>> THERE IS A DOUBLE ENTENDRE GOING ON IN ITALIAN.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO PUT A PIZILLO IN YOUR MOUTH, AT LEAST ON NATIONAL TV.

>> Jon: REALLY?

>> TAKE IT RIGHT OUT.

>> Jon: I JUST SAID THAT.

WHAT DID I SAY?

SERIOUSLY, WHAT DID I SAY?

THIS SHOW IS IN ITALY NOW, AND PEOPLE IN ITALY...

>> THEY'RE GOING TO WONDER IF YOU'RE WITH THE GUY...

>> Jon: THE RENT BOY.

DID I JUST SHARE I WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH A RENT BOY?

>> YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO PUT SOMETHING IN YOUR MOUTH?

>> Jon: REALLY?

WHY DID THEY MAKE THAT SO CLOSE TO SOMETHING THIS DELICIOUS.

IS THE THING YOU MENTIONED PEAS OR CHEESE?

>> PEAS.

>> Jon: NOW I SEE HOW IT ALL COMES TOGETHER.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, MAN, I FEEL EMBARRASSED TO EAT IN FRONT OF YOU.

>> WELL, I'LL TRY SOMETHING.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

OH, GOD.

>> I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW MUCH GRAPA YOU GUYS DRINK.

>> Jon: DO YOU HAVE... WHEN YOU GO... HAS IT TAKEN THE PLEASURE OUT OF EATING FOR YOU

TO BE IN A BUSINESS, 14 RESTAURANTS, YOU COOK ALL THE TIME.

CAN YOU ENJOY A MEAL, OR DO YOU BREAK IT DOWN?

FOR ME AT COMEDY CLUBS, THERE'S A LITTLE PART OF ME THAT SITS IN THE BACK AND JUDGES.

DO YOU HAVE THAT WHEN YOU'RE COOKING?

>> WELL, LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY,

MY FAVORITE THING TO EAT IS ANYTHING ANYONE ELSE MAKES.

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE?

>> YEAH.

>> SO YOU'RE NOT CRITICAL?

>> AS A YOUNG CHEF WHEN I WAS JUST GETTING MY FEET UNDER MY AND FIGURING OUT MY POINT OF

VIEW, YOU WOULD SPEND MOST OF THE DEAL I'D DO IT A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU HAVE TO REMOVE YOURSELF FROM TOTALLY CRITICIZING EVERY EXPERIENCE.

>> Jon: THIS IS THE BEST

[BLEEP] I HAVE EVER HAD.

IT'S SO GOOD.

[APPLAUSE]

>> SEE HOW QUICKLY YOU LEARNED ITALIAN?

>> Jon: THAT IS... OH.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S SO GOOD.

DO YOU EVER... DO YOU EVER DISAPPOINT YOURSELF?

CAN YOU COOK A MEAL AND THEN YOU EAT IT AND THINK, OH, WHAT WAS I DOING?

OR IS IT JUST SO SECOND NATURE TO YOU?

>> IT IS SECOND NATURE.

WHAT YOU COOK AT HOME, YOU DON'T MAKE COMPLICATED DISHES.

YOU MAKE THINGS THAT COOK RELATIVELY QUICKLY AND THEY'RE MORE BASED ON PRODUCT THAN TECHNIQUE.

SO YOU BRING IT HOME, SAUTE, PUT SOME SAUCE ON THE SIDE AND IT'S GOOD AND WORKS OUT WELL.

>> YOU HAVE 14 RESTAURANTS, ALL THESE COOKBOOKS.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU GO HOME, DO YOU EVEN HAVE TIME TO COOK?

ARE YOU AT THESE RESTAURANTS?

ARE YOU GORDON RAMSEY?

ARE YOU YELLING AT PEOPLE IN THE KITCHEN?

>> I AM DECIDEDLY NOT GORDON RAMSEY.

ALTHOUGH I RESPECT HIM FOR FINDING HIS VOICE IN WHATEVER WORLD THAT IT HAD TO BE.

>> Jon: WHY CAN'T HE USE HIS INSIDE VOICE, THOUGH?

[LAUGHTER]

WHY MUST HE ALL ALWAYS USE HIS OUTSIDE ANGRY VOICE?

>> YOU HAVE NO COMPLICATED THAT INSIDE VOICE MAY BE YELLING AT HIM FROM INSIDE.

>> Jon: AH.

>> GENERALLY COOKS OR CHEFS THAT YELL AT THEIR COOKS ARE EXPRESSING THEIR OWN

SELF-LOATHING FOR NOT HAVING PREPARED THEIR STAFF TO DO THE JOB THEY KNEW WAS COMING AT THEM.

[AUDIENCE REACTS]

>> Jon: HEY, GORDON RAMSEY,

MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU TOOK A LOOK IN A POT OF SAUCE NAMED YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

I USED TO WORK FOR A GREAT CATERING COMPANY IN NEW YORK,

GLORIOUS FOODS, AND I USED TO BE THE GUY IN THE BACK, THE GUY WOULD COME BACK AND SAY, "WE

NEED 1,000 TOMATOES," BUT THEY NEVER LET ME MAKE [BLEEP].

[LAUGHTER]

>> WELL, HOW OF THEN DID YOU DO THE JOB, EVERY MITT NTLY NOW?

IF YOU STAYED THERE FOR A WHOLE WEEK IN A ROW, THEY WOULD LET YOU TAKE THE TOPS OFF THE TOMATOES.

TWO WEEKS LATER THEY LET YOU TAKE THE BOX OF TOMATOES OUT OF THE KITCHEN.

>> Jon: FOR YOU, WHAT'S THE END GAME?

DO YOU MOVE THROUGH DIFFERENT CUISINES.

RIGHT NOW YOU'RE ITALIAN.

THEN YOU GO THROUGH INDIA AND LEARN ALL ABOUT THAT?

OR DO YOU STICK TO ONE PARTICULAR...

>> I'M STICKING WITH WHAT I'M GOOD AT, WHICH IS MEDITERRANEAN,

BUT MOSTLY ITALIAN.

I LIKE SPANISH FOOD.

I LIKE SOME OF THE SOUTHERN FRENCH FOOD.

>> Jon: DO YOU EVER THINK TO YOU'RE, THE DOUBLE-DOWN SANDWICH, KFC.

>> THEY GOT A LOT OF PRESS.

IT WAS IMPRESSIVE.

I THOUGHT ABOUT EATING IT.

>> Jon: DID YOU REALLY?

>> FOR ABOUT THAT LONG.

I'M NOT AVERSE TO THE IDEA OF USING PROTEIN AS BREAD.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOME GENIUS.

THEY MUST HAVE SHOOK A LOT OF IDEAS AROUND BACK AT THE OLD KFC DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN.

I GOT IT.

WE'LL GET RID OF THE BREAD.

THEY GOT RID OF ALL THE CARB DIETS, BUT COME OUT WITH IT ANYWAY.

>> Jon: THE SAME GUY, WHY DON'T WE PUT THE CHICKEN IN THE BUCKET.

BUNGTDS SELL.

A BUCKET OF CHICKEN, YOU GOT TO LOVE THAT.

'D LIKE TO BUY A WHOPPER AND PUT IT INBETWEEN A DOUBLE DOWN AND SEE IF MY STOMACH EXPLODES.

>> WOULD YOU LEAVE THE BREAD?

>> Jon: I'D LEAVE THE BREAD.

>> WHAT IF YOU DID A DOUBLE WHOPPER NO BREAD INSIDE THE CHICKEN

>> Jon: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

>> YES.

>> Jon: THIS IS WHY YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL CHEF AND I'M JUST THE GUY.

I HAVE EATEN AT YOUR RESTAURANT,

NOT ALL 14.

THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLE.

AND YOU TRULY ARE, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT, A MAESTRO?

WHAT WOULD THEY CALL A GRAND CHEF?

>> A LUCKY GUY.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: SAVE IT FOR RACHEL RAY'S SHOW.

"MOLTO GUSTO." IT'S ON THE||||

Captioning sponsored by

COMEDY CENTRAL Captioned by

Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

JOIN US ALL NEXT WEEK AT 11:00.

HERE IT, IS YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> I'VE ALWAYS ARGUED THAT EVEN THE TALK OF OUR DEFICIT, THAT AS MUCH AS WE THINK||||

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