June 21, 2012 - Bassem Youssef

  • Episode: 17118
  • (0)

President Obama claims executive privilege on Fast and Furious documents, Egypt holds elections, and Egyptian satirist Bassem Youssef describes his version of The Daily Show.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: HEY, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO THE "DAILY SHOW." MY NAME IS JOB STEWART.

WOW, DO WE HAVE A SHOW TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, BASSEM YOUSSEF.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU HEAR THAT?

THE CROWD FROM EGYPT GOES WILD.

A SAT TIRIST FROM EEGYPT, WHERE CIVILIZATION BEGAN, WHERE HUMOR BEGAN, ENTIRE SHOW,

HIEROGLYPHICS, TREMENDOUS.

WE'RE EXCITED TO HAVE HIM HERE TODAY.

WE BEGIN TONIGHT WITH THE CONTROVERSY REGARDING ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC HOLDER.

WE'RE GOING TO TRY TO GET YOU CAUGHT UP ON IT AS QUICK PLEA AS WE CAN.

IT ALL BEGAN WITH AN A.T.F. PROGRAM CALLED FAST AND FURIOUS IN WHICH THE USE

GOVERNMENT ALLOWED GUNS TO BE SMUGGLED TO MEXICAN DRUG RUNNERS IN ORDER TO FIND OUT WHERE

MEXICAN DRUG RUNNERS WERE GETTING THEIR GUNS.

( LAUGHTER ) IT TURNED OUT TO BE-- IT TURNED

OUT TO BE FROM OUR GOVERNMENT.

THEY ACTUALLY-- CIRCLE OF LIFE.

ANY-WHOOO, WE LOST TRACK OF ABOUT-- HOLD ON, HOLD ON-- 2,000 GUNS.

ALTHOUGH, ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, WE DID END UP FINDING ONE OF THEM WHEN IT WAS USED TO KILL A U.S.

BORDER PATROL AGENT.

AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, WHISTLE BLOWERS BEGAN TO BLOW WHISTLES.

CONGRESS ULTIMATELY ASKED THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT THE DETAILS OF THIS FAST AND ACTUALLY

SOMEWHAT CURIOUS PROGRAM TO WHICH THE D.O.J. RESPONDED IN FEBRUARY 2011, PROGRAM?

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE PROGRAM.

I NEVER HEARD-- LET ME LOOK FOR THE LETTER "F" FAST AND FIZZY,

FARTS AND AT THAT POINTA.

NOPE, NO FAST AND FURIOUS.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

ABOUT A MONTH LATER, CBS BREAKS THE STORY OF THE PROGRAM PUBLICLY AT WHICH POINT THE

JUSTICE DEPARTMENT WAITS ANOTHER NINE MONTHS AND WITHDRAWS THE FIRST LETTER AND SENDS CONGRESS

A NEW LETTER SAYING, OH, FAST AND FURIOUS.

( LAUGHTER ) YEAH.

WE HAVE THAT.

WE'VE JUST-- WE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.

WE'VE BEEN CALLING IT DONDESUSPICIOUS

AUTOMATICO.

BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW.

SO CONGRESS HAS FOR THE PAST YEAR OR SO NOW BEEN ASKING FOR THOUSANDS OF DOCUMENTS RELATING

TO THIS NO PROGRAM.

OH, THAT PROGRAM,

SWITCHEROO THING THAT THE ATTORNEY GENERAL DID.

ATTORNEY GENERAL HOLDER HAS REFUSED TO GIVE THE DOCUMENT.

YESTERDAY THE HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE VOTED TO HOLD HOLDER IN CONTEMPT.

( LAUGHTER ) IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME WAY TO

TAKE THE TEMPERATURE OF THIS WHOLE THING UP A NOTCH.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS ENTERED THE FREY AND EXERTED EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE OVER THE DOCUMENTS

THAT HAVE BEEN REQUESTED BY CONGRESSMAN ISSA.

>>ISSA.

>> Jon: OH, NO YOU DIDN'T!

EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE ON ( BLEEP ).

OOO-AAA.

( LAUGHTER ) WAIT.

EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE-- I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHEN AN EXECUTIVE GETS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE ON

YOUR WEDDING NIGHT.

ISN'T THAT-- I'M SORRY, I'M BEING TOLD THAT IS CALLED PRIMA

NOTHINGRA, AND THAT ONLY APPLIES TO KINGS.

THAT EXECUTIVE TOTALLY LIED TO ME.

DAMN YOU, LEE IACOCCA!

I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THIS TERRIBLE STORY FUNNY.

SO HERE'S THE PROBLEM-- IT TURNS OUT THAT DURING THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION, EXECUTIVE

PRIVILEGE WAS SEEN BY THE DEMOCRATS AS A REFUGE OF SCOUNDRELS, A METHOD OF

OBSTRUCTION USED FROM ANYTHING TO KEEPING THE BUSH WHITE HOUSE VALERIE PLAME DOCUMENTS SECRET,

TO PREVENTING HARRIET MYERS TESTIFYING ABOUT THE 2007 ATTORNEYS PURGE.

IT UPSET MANY, MANY PEOPLE BACK THEN.

HERE'S ONE CHOSEN AT RANDOM.

>> THERE'S BEEN A TENDENCY ON THE PART OF THIS ADMINISTRATION

TO TRY TO HIDE BEHIND EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE EVERY TIME THERE'S

SOMETHING A LITTLE SHAKY THAT'S TAKING PLACE.

AND I THINK THE ADMINISTRATION WOULD BE BEST SERVED BY COMING CLEAN ON THIS.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: THAT HANDSOME YOUNG HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR IS RIGHT.

( LAUGHTER ) BUT IF THE CURRENT PRESIDENT

IGNORES THIS YOUNG MAN'S ADVICE,

THE DEMOCRATS ARE NOW IN THE POSITION OF HAVING TO DEFEND AN EXECUTIVE ACTION TATHEY

THOROUGHLY DENOUNCED DURING THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION NOT FIVE YEARS PRIOR, WHICH MEANS WE HAVE

NO CHOICE BUT TO PLAY EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME.

>> DIFFERENTIATE YOUR PARTY'S ASSERTION OF EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE FROM THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION'S!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: YOU KNOW THE RULES.

DEMOCRATIC CONTESTANTS HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY OBAMA'S ASSERTION OF EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE IS MORE

VALID THAN THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S USE OF IT IN 2007.

OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS NEW YORK REPRESENTATIVE CAROLYN MALONEY.

DIFFERENTIATE THAT PRIVILEGE.

>> IF IT GETS TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CAN'T EVEN COMMUNICATE IN

A-- IN AN AGENCY OR ALL OF YOUR DOCUMENTS HAVE TO COME TO THE PUBLIC, IT WILL BE DIFFICULT FOR

PEOPLE TO REALLY EXPRESS THEMSELVES, AND HE DREW THE LINE THERE.

>> Jon: DRAWING LINE, A FINE EXPLANATION, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES NEEDS TO

PROTECT HIS ABILITY TO GET ADVICE,.

IF THAT ADVICE IS SOMETHING SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID LIKE WHY DON'T WE LET MEXICAN DRUG

SMUGGLERS SMUGGLE GUNS INTO MEXICO AND NOT TRACK THEM FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.

IS THAT DIFFERENT FROM HOW REPUBLICANS JUSTIFIED BUSH.

>> THE PRESIDENT HAS TO HAVE ADVISERS THAT KNOW WHEN THEY ADVISE HIM THEY CAN SPEAK

FRANKLY AND SPEAK IN CONFIDENCE.

>> THE COURT HAS LONG HONORED THE PRESIDENT'S NEED TO KEEP

ADVISERS' ADVICE CONFIDENTIAL ( BUZZER ).

>> Jon: IT'S THE SAME.

NEXT JAY CARNY.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS GONE LONGER WITHOUT ASSERTING THE PRIVILEGE THAN ANY PRESIDENT IN

THE LARGE THREE DECADES.

>> Jon: EXCELLENT EXCUSE!

COME ON, EVERYBODY!

OBAMA HELD OUT SO LOCK!

EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE, IT'S LIKE VIRGINITY, YOU HOLD ON TO IT FOR

AS LONG AS POSSIBLE, AND ONE DAY YOU'RE LIKE, "I JUST GOTTA HAVE IT, MAN!"

HAVE A LITTLE EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE.

JUST TOUCH IT ONCE.

( APPLAUSE ) BUT, IS THAT DIFFERENT FROM WHAT

REPUBLICANS SAID IN 2007?

SURVEY SAYS--

>> IN REALITY, PRESIDENT CLINTON HAS RAISED EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE

FIVE TIMES MORE THAN PRESIDENT BUSH ( BUZZER ).

>> Jon: DIDN'T DIFFERENTIATE.

SAME ARGUMENT.

SURE, OUR GUY DID IT AND IT WAS WRONG BUT HE DIDN'T DO IT AS MUCH AS THE LAST GUY.

WE GET IT.

YOU WERE BOTH VIRGINIAIPS COMPARED TO THE SHUT WHO WAS IN OFFICE BEFORE YOU.

YOU'RE DOWN TO YOUR LAST SHOT,

DEMOCRATS.

YOU HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE TO SHOW OBAMA'S ACTION ARE DIFFERENT FROM GEORGE BUSH'S IN 2007.

PERHAPS SOMETHING IN THE PROCESS YOU FIND OBJECTIONABLE.

>> THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN A POLITICAL WITCH-HUNT.

>> WITCH-HUNT.

>> IT'S OBVIOUS, ED, A WITCH-HUNT.

>> IN WHICH IGNORANT PEOPLE ARE CONDEMNED BY THE IGNORANT AND THE FEARFUL.

IN 2007 THE PROCESS WAS, WHAT WAS IT?

>> IT SEEMS NOW THAT WE HAVE A FISHING EXPEDITION.

>> Jon: A FISHING EXPEDITION!

A METHOD OF SUSTAINING ONESELF AT A TIME OF HUNTER.

WAY TO GO DEMOCRATS, YOU'VE DONE IT.

HUNTING WITCHES AND FISHING-- I'M BEING TOLD THEY'RE THE SAME.

( APPLAUSE ) WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ALL THE

TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY, BUT STAY TUNED FOR OUR SPIN-OFF SHOW FOR REPUBLICANS, RECONCILE YOUR

CURRENT OUTERAGET OBAMA ADMINISTRATION'S USE OF EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE WITH YOUR

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.

IN A FEW MINUTES, BASSEM YOUSSEF WILL BE JOINING US.

HE A VERY, VERY SHARP, FUNNY OBSERVER OF EGYPTIAN POLITICS BUT WE THOUGHT, BOY, BEFORE HE

COMES OUT, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO A QUICK REVIEW OF WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON-- NOT THAT AMERICANS

REPORT UP ON IT.

WE'RE UP ON IT.

WE'VE-- UP ON IT.

( LAUGHTER ) SO HERE'S WHAT'S GOING ON.

HOSNI MUBARAK, WAS EGYPT'S LEADER, U.S.-BACKED LEADER FOR 30 YEARS.

HE WAS IMMENSELY POPULAR AMONGST HIS PEOPLE, TYPICALLY WINNING ELECTIONS BETWEEN 98% AND 127%

OF THE VOTES.

( LAUGHTER ) IN ANY GIVEN ELECTION.

HE WAS SO BELOVED SO POPULAR,

LAST WINTER HIS PEOPLE DEMANDED HE TAKE A WELL-DESERVED RETIREMENT.

( LAUGHTER ) LEST THEY GROW TO LOVE HIM.

THEY JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SMOTHER HIM.

SO WHERE IS HE NOW?

>> THE BIG STORY HERE TODAY IS BREAKING, A REPORT THAT FORMER EGYPTIAN HOSNI MUBARAK IS

CLINICALLY DEAD.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: THE NEWS NOW OFFICIAL, 11:15 P.M., EASTERN STANDARD TIME, HOSNI MUBARAK--

SORRY, WE'RE GETTING AN UPDATE.

>> THE FORMER EGYPTIAN PRESIDENT HOSNI MUBARAK IS NOW REPORTEDLY IN A COMA.

>> Jon: OKAY, HE WAS DEAD,

BUT NOW HE'S IN A COMA.

WAIT, HOW CAN YOU TELL?

WHENEVER YOU SEE HIM HE'S JUST ON A BED WEARING SUN GLASSES?

( LAUGHTER ) MAYBE HE DIED WEEKS AGO AND THE

EGYPTIAN MILITARY IS PULLING A "WEEKEND AT HOSNI'S" THING.

YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW.

HAUGH LAUGH ( APPLAUSE ).

>> Jon: WAIT.

WHY WOULD THEY SAY MUBARAK WAS DEAD AND THEN SAY HE WAS IN A COMMA?

WHY WOULD THEY LIE ABOUT IT?

>> MAYBE SOMETHING HAPPENED SO HE COULD BE PULLED OUT OF THAT PRISON AND SENT BACK TO THE

MILITARY HOSPITAL WHERE HE HAD BEEN FOR A NUMBER OF MONTHS UP UNTIL HIS TRIAL WHERE THE

CONDITIONS ARE MUCH BETTER.

>> Jon: AAAH.

SO THIS IS ALL JUST A BIG CON TO GET MUBARAK A NICER HOSPITAL ROOM.

OH, WHAT'S WRONG, HOSNI?

SEMIPRIVATE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?

YOUR CAN ROOMMATE TOOY?

I DON'T THINK SO!

( LAUGHTER ) NO, I KNOW A LOT ABOUT EGYPT.

MUMMIES ARE APPARENTLY EVERYWHERE.

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, THE TIME OF DICTATORSHIP AND EGYPT DONE.

HERE'S THE NEW REALITY--

>> EGYPTIANS TURNED OUT IN HUGE NUMBERS TODAY TO VOTE IN PARLIAMENTARY ELECTIONS STARTING

TODAY, THE FIRST SINCE HOSNI MUBARAK WAS TOPPLED LAST FEBRUARY.

>> I GOTTA TELL YOU, WATCHING PEOPLE GET THEIR FIRST TASTE OF FREEDOM NEVER GETS OLD.

>> ISLAMIST PARTIES HAVE WON A MAJORITY OF SEATS IN THE FIRST

ROUND OF EGYPT'S PARLIAMENTARY ELECTIONS, THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD PARTYARCHS PEERS TO

BE ONE OF THE MAJOR WINNERS.

>> THEY ARE VEHEMENTLY ANTI-ISRAELI, THEY'RE NOT PRO-AMERICAN.

>> Jon: WHAT IS WITH THE ANTI--AMERICAN STUFF?

WHAT DID WE DO TO THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD EXCEPT SUPPORT A DICTATOR WHO OPPRESSED THEM FOR

30 YEARS MAY OR MAY NOT BE A RAY-BAN WEARING CORPSE.

EGYPT HELD ELECTIONS ANY THE COUNTRY CAN MOVE FORWARD.

>> THE MILITARY DISSOLVED THE FIRST FREELY ELECT THE PARLIAMENT.

>> Jon: WE'RE BACKWARDS.

BACKWARDS IS NICE, TOO.

AT LEAST THE PRESIDENTIAL RUNOFF ELECTION WENT OVER THE WEEKEND,

RIGHT, FREE AND FAIR, CLEAR WINNER?

>> UNOFFICIAL RESULTS SHOW THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD WILL BECOME THE NEXT PRESIDENT.

>> THE EGYPT ELECTION COMMITTEE SAID IT WILL NOT ANNOUNCE THE RUNOFF WINNER TOMORROW AT ALL.

IT HAS TO REVIEW HUNDREDS OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE VOTING.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER OF THE ELECTION BECAUSE IN A COUNTRY OF

83 MILLION PEOPLE, YOU GOT...

HUNDREDS OF COMPLAINTS.

( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE NEW TO THE DEMOCRACY THING.

I GET THAT.

HUNDREDS OF COMPLAINTS?

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S CALLED IN FLORIDA?

( LAUGHTER ) THE BEST, MOST EFFICIENT

ELECTION IN THE HISTORY OF FLORIDA.

( APPLAUSE ) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

( CHEERING ) TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN!

YOU GET MORE COMPLAINTS A NIGHT IN BOCA RATON AT AN OLIVE GARDEN.

( LAUGHTER ) "THE SALAD BAR PLATES ARE VERY SMALL.

I KEEP GOING BACK AND FORTH." ( LAUGHTER )

WAIT, THIS WOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT THING THE MILITARY DID, THE DISSOLVING

DISSOLVING OF THE PARLIAMENT,

WOULD IT?

>> THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE HAVE GATHERED OPPOSING WHAT THEY SEE AS A MILITARY CUE.

>> THE MILITARY GOVERNMENT,

THEY'RE AFRAID OF A MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD PRESIDENT.

>> Jon: JUST LIKE ITS AILING EX-LEADER EGYPTIAN DEMOCRACY IS EITHER DEAD, IN A

COMA OR TRYING TO GET A BETTER ROOM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, SHE A HEART SURGEON WHO ALSO HOSTAISE SATIRICAL NEWS PROGRAM IN EGYPT.

>> COUSIN.

>> HUH?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Jon: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY HAVE THEIR OWN MICHAEL STEELE PUPPET?

ALL RIGHT, PLEASE WELCOME BASSEM YOUSSEF.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELLO, HELLO.

OH, MY GOD!

>> WOW, YOU'VE GOT LIVE AUDIENCE.

Q. YES.( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

YOU DON'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE.

>> THAT'S WHY I USE PUPPETS.

>> Jon: YOU USE PUPPETS BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE.

ARE THERE ANY SHOWS IN EGYPT THAT HAVE AN AUDIENCE?

>> NO, WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO DO THAT NEXT.

WE GOING TO BE THE FIRST ARAB POLITICAL SHOW WITH AN AUDIENCE WHICH IS HUGE BECAUSE WE DON'T

HAVE THIS KIND OF INDUSTRY.

>> Jon: TELEVISION WITH LIVE AUDIENCES AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

>> YES.

>> Jon: HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO DO A SHOW LIKE YOU'RE DOING,

A COMEDY SHOW, WHEN THE STABILITY OF THE COUNTRY IS STILL IN QUESTION BECAUSE IT'S

DIFFICULT FOR ME, AND WE'RE PRETTY STABLE...

( LAUGHTER ) BUT I STILL GET THE PEOPLE, THEY

DON'T LIKE ME.

WHAT HAPPENS WITH YOU?

WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I.

>> SOMETIMES I GET BEATEN-- NO,

NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.

IT'S ACTUALLY, IT'S BEEN QUITE A RIDE, AND WHAT WE DO HAS ACTUALLY-- WE BROKE GROUND IN

THE TELEVISION PROGRAMMING BECAUSE NOW PEOPLE SAY, "WOW, HE ACTUALLY SAYS WHAT WE WANT TO

SAY." WE'RE TRYING TO BE FUNNY.

WE FAIL MOST OF THE TIME BUT WE TRY.

>> Jon: CHECK.

>> CHECK, YES.

( LAUGHTER ) CAN I ASK A QUESTION?

CAN I ASK A QUESTION?

LAST WEEK, DID YOU HAVE CATHERINE ZETA-JONES HERE.

>> Jon: CATHERINE ZETA-JONES WAS IN YOUR SEAT,

SIR.

>> IN THIS SEAT?

>> Jon?

N YOUR SEAT.

>> WOW!

( APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: TAKE IT TO CAIRO.

WE DON'T CARE.

>> OOOO!

>> Jon: NICE, RIGHT?

>> YES.

>> Jon: SHE'S VERY SWEET.

>> YES.

>> Jon: YEAH.

IT'S NICE.

YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE-- YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE TV.

YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT.

HERE'S THING THAT IS VERY UNUSUAL TO ME.

YOU ARE A VERY ACCOMPLISHED HEART SURGEON AS WELL BEFORE YOU GOT INTO THIS.

NOW, OBVIOUSLY, JEWS AND MUSLIMS, THERE IS TENSION AMONGST THE CULTURES AT TIMES--

2,000 YEARS-- BUT ONE THING WE PROBABLY SHARE IS THAT GOING TO YOUR MOTHER AS A HEART SURGEON

AND SAYING, "YEAH, I THINK I'M GOING TO BE A COMEDIAN,S WITH THE WOULD BE A PROBLEM.

( LAUGHTER )

>> IT WAS A PROBLEM, UNTIL SHE SAW THE MONEY.

( LAUGHTER ) AND-- AND SHE SAW MY NEW BIG TV

AND LIVING ROOM, SO SHE WAS OKAY WITH THAT.

>> Jon: SO COMDEE, A LITTLE MORE LUCRATIVE THAN THE HEART SURGERY BUSINESS.

>> A LOT.

>> Jon: I KNEW I WAS SMART NOT TO DO THAT.

>> AND YOU DON'T GET SUED EVERY FIVE SECONDS.

>> Jon: I THINK THAT'S PROBABLY SMART, TOO.

HOW DID THIS ALL BEGIN?

DURING THE REVOLUTION, DID YOU JUST DECIDE THIS IS THE TIME TO TRY AND EXPRESS THIS THOUGHT?

THIS IS THE TIME TO DO SOMETHING I'VE WANTED TO TRY FOR A WHILE?

>> THE 18 DAYS OF THE ROVE HUGHES WAS INCREDIBLE BECAUSE YOU WOULD GO TO THE SQUARE,

WOULD SEE WHOSE HAPPENED, YOU COME BACK, YOU OPEN THE TV, AND IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLD.

IT'S AMAZING.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN NOW.

IT'S LIKE ALL RUMORS ABOUT ALIENS COMING DOWN.

THEY ARE THE PEOPLE DRIVING THE REVOLUTION --

>> IS IT REALLY THIS TYPE OF CONSPIRACY STUFF?

WE HAVE A GENTLEMAN HERE, DOES GLENN BECK HAVE A SHOW IN EGYPT OR NO?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> IT'S HIS EVIL TWIN.

>> Jon: REALLY?

THE GUY WHO IS SPREADING SORT OF CONSPIRACY STUFF?

>> HE'S A LITTLE BIT KIND OF CLONED EVERYWHERE.

>> Jon: OH, REALLY?

>> YES, EVEN IN SPORTS PROGRAMS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE GLENN BECK DOING A SPORTS SHOW, ASK THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL GET.

THAT WAS-- SOME BLU-RAY CAME FROM THE EYES --

>> BASICALLY IT'S FREE MASON AND THE AMERICANS AND ISRAEL HAVE

GATHERED TOGETHER TO HYPNOTIZE THE EGYPTIAN PEOPLE TO GO TO TAHRIR SQUARE TO COMPLAIN.

>> YES.

>> Jon: OKAY.

>> AND IRANIANS.

ALL THESE PEOPLE, YOU CAN IMAGINE, ISRAEL, HAMAS, ISRAEL,

AND AMERICA ALL --

>> WORKING TOGETHER.

>> YES, AGAINST EGYPT.

>> Jon: HOW, HOW DO THEY DECIDE WHAT TO EAT AT THE MEETING?

KOSHER.

GOTTA BE KOSHER.

ARE THE PEOPLE RESENTFUL THATLET POWERS THAT BE DON'T BELIEVE THAT THEY WOULD HAVE THE WHERE

WITH ALL TO STAND UP ON THEIR OWN?

>> THE PROBLEM IS THAT PEOPLE WANT TO BELIEVE.

THEY-- THEY WANT TO BELIEVE,

BUT, LIKE, WHEN YOU HAVE THE MEDIA, KIND OF POUNDING ON THEM WITH ALL THESE CONSPIRACIES, YOU

WILL FIND PEOPLE THAT WILL FALL FOR THAT.

I MEAN, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU HAVE-- WHAT'S HIS NAME, KRAMER, LIKE "MAD MONEY?"

>> Jon: YES.

>> PEOPLE STILL WATCH HIM.

THE GUY WHO BANKRUPTED THE WHOLE COUNTRY.

AND STILL PEOPLE WATCH HIS SHOW.

IT'S INSANE.

>> Jon: IT'S HAVE INTERESTING THAT THE MEDIA IN OUR COUNTRY HAVE-- THERE'S SORT

OF AN ESTABLISHED MEDIA AND WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE STREET AND THE TWAIN DENT MEET?

>> YES.

>> Jon: AND YOU TRY TO OCCUPY THAT SPACE IN BETWEEN IT.

>> IT'S BEEN FUN TOW WATCH THE MEDIA BACK IN EGYPT.

WE'RE NOT VERY MUCH DIFFERENT.

>> Jon: NO, I THINK YOU LOOK BETTER IN A SUIT BUT OTHER THAN THAT WE'RE THE SAME.

>> IT'S AN ARMANI.

>> Jon: LOOK AT YOU!

( APPLAUSE ) VERY SHARP.

>> I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!

HE GETS HIS FOR FREE.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: GIVE IT 14 YEARS,

MY FRIEND.

IT WILL COME, IT WILL COME.

I CAN'T TELL YOU-- HERE'S THE THING, I WATCH YOUR PROGRAM.

I HAD IT TRANSLATED.

I DON'T KNOW A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT ABOUT EGYPTIAN POLITICS BECAUSE,

OBVIOUSLY, AS AN AMERICAN, WE PREFER NOT TO KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT COUNTRIES WE MEDDLE IN.

BUT I DO KNOW A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT THE HUMOR BUSINESS.

YOUR SHOW IS SHARP.

YOU'RE REALLY GOOD ON IT.

IT'S SMART.

IT'S WELL EXECUTED.

I JUST-- I THINK THE WORLD OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING DOWN THERE AND

I COULDN'T BE MORE PLEASE SAID THAT YOU'RE HERE.

COULD YOU STICK AROUND.

WE'LL THROW A LITTLE MORE UP ON THE WEB AND HAVE A NICE TALK.

>>

>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> YOU'RE A SWREGGAN?

>> YES.

>> WHAT CHANGED YOU.

>> TOO MANY, TOO MANY, TOO MANY PRISON CELLS.

TOO MANY JAILS.

TOO MANY LAWSUITS.

TOO BANKRUPTCIES.

TOO MANY

Loading...