April 9, 2014 - Colin Firth

  • Episode: 19089
  • (0)

Samantha Bee fears that Putin is plotting to invade Brooklyn, Fox News covers spring break festivities, and Colin Firth discusses his role in "The Railway Man."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW". MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT A GOOD ONE TONIGHT.

MY GUEST COLIN FIRTH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]BUT FIRST LET'S TURN TO UKRAINE.

[LAUGHTER]REALLY, THE AMERICAN AUDIENCE

IMMEDIATELY LIKE DID WE BOMBTHEM?

WHAT HAPPENED?

[LAUGHTER]AFTER JUST A FEW WEEKS FROM WHEN

CRIMEA OFFICIALLY JOINED RUSSIAANOTHER REGION OF UKRAINE HAS

SAID I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'SHAVING.

THE CRISIS IN UKRAINE ISDEEPENING THIS MORNING WITH THE

THREAT OF MORE LOST TERRITORY.

PRO RUSSIA ACTIVISTS ARETRYING TO TAKE CONTROL OF

GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS IN TWOEASTERN CITIES.

>> THIS TINY SPACE IS THESELF-DECLARED PEOPLE'S REPUBLICOF DONETSK

WHERE JUST DAYS AGO IT WAS JUSTTHE LOCAL GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS.

>> Jon: NOW IT'S A DELI!

[ LAUGHTER ]WAIT, WAIT SO IN UKRAINE THEY

ARE DECLARING INDIVIDUALBUILDINGS INDEPENDENT NATIONS

NOW?

SORRY THIS IS THE REPUBLIC OFDONETSK YOU ARE LOOKING FOR GAS

STATION-STAN.

IT'S DOWN THE STREET YOU MAKE ATA LEFT AT THE USS-ARBYS.

LOOK, LISTEN TO ME. I DON'T

KNOW HOW BIG THE UKRAINIAN ARMYIS BUT IT DOES NOT APPEAR THAT

THEY ARE GOING TO GET BOGGEDDOWN WITH A SIEGE OF THAT

BUILDING-GRAD.

>> THE RUSSIAN FOREIGN MINISTRYIS WARNING UKRAINE'S GOVERNMENT

AGAINST HARMING ETHNIC RUSSIANSINSIDE UKRAINE'S OWN BORDERS.

>> Jon: ETHNIC RUSSIANS? WHATARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THESE

ARE THE PROUD DENIZENS OFDONETSK. A FIERCELY

INDEPENDENT NATION LOCATED AT315 PUSHKIN BOULEVARD.

ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT WANT TO USETHE ENTRANCE ON KLITSCHKO AVENUE

IT'S EASIER. LOOK.

THIS IS NOT LOOK GOING FORUKRAINE.

IT APPEARS RUSSIA MAY BETROLLING THESE GUYS FOR ANY

EXCUSE TO FURTHER INVADE THEIRSOVEREIGNTY.

UKRAINIANS MUST STAND STRONG ANDUNIFIED TO REPEL THIS THREAT.

>> A FIGHT BREAKING OUT INUKRAINE'S PARLIAMENT. THIS CAME

AFTER A LAWMAKER DEFENDED THEPRO-RUSSIA ACTIVISTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: I SEE THEY FOLLOW

ROBERT'S RULES OF DISORDER.PROBLEM SOLVED.

WHAT BETTER WAY TO CONVINCERUSSIA YOU ARE NOT GOING TO

PERSECUTE ETHNIC RUSSIANS INYOUR COUNTRY THAN TO BEAT THE

(bleep) OUT OF THEM WHEN THEYTRY TO TALK.

IT APPEARS ONCE AGAIN THERE'STROUBLING IN THE WORLD

AS THE SPECTRE OF OLD SCHOOLIMPERIALISM RAISES ITS UGLY HEAD

THE WORLD ONCE AGAIN SENDS OUT ABEACON, A CRY FOR HELP, FROM THE

WORLD'S SUPER HERO: AMERICA!

OH, ALL RIGHT.

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE SEEN THATBEACON 30 YEARS AGO.

WE'VE LET OURSELVES GO.

MUCH MORE FLATTERING SIGNAL.

GO ON.

>> THE UNITED STATES AND OURALLIES WILL NOT HESITATE TO USE

21ST CENTURY TOOLS TO HOLDRUSSIA ACCOUNTABLE FOR 19th

CENTURY BEHAVIOR.

>> Jon: THAT GOES FOR ANY19th CENTURY RUSSIAN BEHAVIOR

EVEN WRITING A COMPLEXNATURALISTIC NOVEL THAT SERVES

AS AN ALLEGORY FOR THESTRUGGLE TO MAINTAIN A PURE

SOUL UNDER THE HARSH REPRESSIONOF THE CZAR.

I'M LOOKING AT YOU TOLSTOY.

ANY-HOO.

>> WHAT ARE THE SOME OF THE 21STCENTURY TOOLS.

>> Jon: I'M GOING WITH CANDYCRUSH, TWITTER, NICE.

TINDER.

WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO SWIPELEFT ON RUSSIA.

>> WHAT ARE SOME OFTHESE -- A U.S. WARSHIP

IS EXPECTED TO MAKE A SHOW OF

PRESENCE ENTERING THE BLACK SEANO LATTER THAN THURSDAY.

>> Jon: NOTHING SAYS WE'RE GOINGTO USE 21ST CENTURY TOOLS LIKE

BOATS.

[ LAUGHTER ]VLADMIR PUTIN SEEMS POISED TO

ABSORB UKRAINE'S ENTIRE RUSSIANPOPULATION.

BUT WHO'S IS TO SAY HE'LL STOPTHERE. OUR OWN SAMANTHA BEE

INVESTIGATES RUSSIA'S NEXTPOSSIBLE STOP.

>> VLADMIR PUTIN ANNEXTATIONOF CRIMEA SHOCKED THE WORLD AND

FOREIGN POLICY NERDS LIKE ANDREWWEISS ARE CONCERNED THAT RUSSIA

WILL CONTINUE TO ILLEGALLYEXPAND ITS BORDERS.

>> WE'VE BASICALLY SEEN ONLYTHE BEGINNING OF RUSSIA'S MUSCLE

MOVEMENTS HERE. RUSSIA HAS ALOT OF ARROWS IN THE QUIVER.

IT'S QUITE SCARY.

>> WHO IS IT MOST SCARY FOR?

>> THE COUNTRIES THAT ARE SCAREDARE THE ONES THAT ARE IN THE

NEIGHBORHOOD. KAZAKHSTANAND THE CAUCUSES.

THEY HAVE LARGE ETHNIC RUSSIANPOPULATIONS..

>> OK I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OFTHOSE COUNTRIES BECAUSE THEY ARE

KIND OF LIKE THE SAME TO ME.

WHAT ABOUT OUR COUNTRY?

SHOULD WE BE AFRAID?

>> I THINK THE MOST TROUBLINGPART IS WE DON'T KNOW WHAT PUTIN

WANTS. HE SAYS "I'MDEFENDING ETHNIC RUSSIANS."

THEY COULD BE ANY ANYWHERE.

>> WHAT I'M HEARING IS IT COULDHAPPEN HERE.

>> NO WAY.

>> OK, YOU DON'T THINK IT'SPOSSIBLE? GIVE ME SOME ODDS.

>> I THINK WE'RE TALKING ABOUTASTROID HITTING THE EARTH ODDS.

SO ONE IN A COUPLE TRILLION.

>> SO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS, ITCOULD HAPPEN HERE.

>> THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

>> OK, YOU ALREADY GAVE ME THEODDS.

YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.

TOO LATE, GO TO THE PACKAGE.

>> IT COULD HAPPEN HERE.

>> SO I HEADED TO WHERE PUTINIS MOST LIKELY TO INVADE NEXT, A

FAR AWAY PLACE WHERE RUSSIANLANGUAGE AND TRADITIONS DOMINATE

THE LOCAL CULTURE.

A TERRIFIED NEIGHBORHOOD CALLEDBRIGHTON BEACH BROOKLYN,

AMERICA.

SKEPTICAL?

WELL, THEN LET'S EXAMINE THEPARALLELS BETWEEN CRIMEA AND

BRIGHTON BEACH.

WHY WAS CRIMEA RIPE FOR THEPICKING?

>> THE MAIN ISSUES WAS THEPEOPLE OF CRIMEA DON'T LIKE LIKE

THE PEOPLE OF THE RESTUKRAINE. A LOT OF THEM BASICALLY

SEE THEMSELVES AS EX-SOVIET ORRUSSIANS CULTURALLY.

>> OKAY.

SO LET'S SEE IF THE PEOPLE OFBRIGHTON BEACH ARE TRULY

RUSSIAN.

CREEPY SOVIET VIBE, CHECK.

RUSSIAN STYLE LEISURE.

IS THIS YOUR VERSION OFSUNBATHING? CHECK.

TRADITIONAL RUSSIAN ATTIRE?

OF COURSE.

STRONG SENSE OF RUSSIANNESS?

>> SHOW OF HANDS, WHO HERECONSIDERS THEMSELVES TO BE

ETHNICALLY RUSSIAN.

OH, MY OKAY.

DRIPPING WET BALLS.

I'M AFRAID SO.

BUT DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THATUNIQUELY RUSSIAN JE NE SAIS

QUOI?

GIVE ME YOUR BEST AND MOSTBEAUTIFUL RUSSIAN SMILE.

[ LAUGHTER ]SHOW ME YOUR BIGGEST, BRIGHTEST

RUSSIAN SMILE. LIFT THE CORNERSOF YOUR MOUTH.

JUST LIFT THE CORNERS OF YOURMOUTH INTO A SMILE.

[ LAUGHTER ]I DARE YOU TO (bleep) LOOK AT

THIS VIDEO AND NOT SMILE.

UGH WHAT KIND OF MONSTER AREYOU?

NOTHING COULD MAKE THESE PEOPLESMILE.

SHOW ME THE SMILE ON YOUR FACEWHEN YOU FIRST FOUND OUT THAT

PUTIN ILLEGALLY ANNEXED CRIMEA.

OH, THERE IT IS.

THERE IT IS.

I KNEW IT.

>> EXCEPT FOR THAT.

WE'RE SO GETTING INVADED.

>> OK I WAS JUST IN BRIGHTONBEACH.

AND IT CAN HAPPEN HERE IT COULDHAPPEN HERE. NO CUT THAT (bleep)

OUT. SERIOUSLY IT COULD HAPPENHERE.

>> I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING TOHAPPEN HERE.

PUTIN KEEPS SAYING THAT PEOPLEIN UKRAINE ARE UNDER THE THREAT

OF NEO-NAZI MOBS HUNTINGDOWN ETHIC RUSSIANS.

AND THAT CREATED A PREDICATE FORMILITARY ACTION IN CRIMEA.

>> CRIMEA HAS MARAUDING GROUPSOF GUYS SCARING LOCAL RUSSIANS

BUT THERE'S PROBABLY NOTHINGLIKE THAT IN BRIGHTON BEACH.

>> ALL WINTER, ALL WINTER

THEY SITTING HERE.

>> WHO? >> THE GUYS.

>> THEY COME AND PEOPLE

THEY DRINK VODKA HERE. THISIS NO GOOD.

>> VODKA, VODKA AND THENGOING PEE PEE.

>> THEY DOING THE VODKA.THEY'RE GOING PEE PEEEVERYWHERE.

>> THEY FIGHT. YEAH. PEE PEE INTHE ROAD.

>> ALL OVER THE PLACE.

>> (bleep) IT IS HAPPENINGHERE.

>> IT'S NOT HAPPENING HERE.

PUTIN IS NOT MOVING INTOBROOKLYN.

>> THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.

AND THEN THEY COME FOR YOU INTHEIR GODDAMN NEON SPEEDOS.

LEAVING ME ONLY ONE CHOICE: CONDITION MY BODY, LEARN THEIR

CUSTOMS.

YOUR BEARD HAIR IS TICKLING ME ALITTLE BIT.

[LAUGHTER]AND DO MY BEST TO BLEND IN

HOPING THAT WHEN MY NEWOVERLORDS ARRIVE I'LL BE ON THE

RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: SAM BEE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WELCOMEBACK. AS WE SAW IN THE FIRST ACT

THE WORLD AROUND US IS FALLINGAPART.

[LAUGHTER]BUT LET'S BE HONEST, WE HAVE

SOME OF OUR OWN PROBLEMSRIGHT HERE IN AMERICA.

>> EVERY YEAR THOUSANDS OFCOLLEGE STUDENTS PACK THEIR

BAGS.

THEY HEAD TO THE BEACH AND BEACHDESTINATIONS FOR THE

MOST COVETED WEEK OF THE YEAR.

THAT'S SPRING BREAK.

>> WE CONTINUE TO EXPOSE WHATIS REALLY GOING ON IN SPRING

BREAK IN AMERICA.

>> Jon: YES, AMERICA'S OLDESTHALL MONITOR, SEAN HANNITY,

DEDICATED NOT ONE, NOT TWO BUTFIVE DIFFERENT SHOWS ON THE

HORRORS OF SPRING BREAKINCLUDING THE ENTIRE HOUR ON

FRIDAY FEATURING A PANEL OFOUTRAGED EXPERTS THERE TO EXPOSE

THIS ANNUAL EVENT.

YOU WILL BELIEVE WHAT THEY FOUNDBECAUSE YOU KNOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> YES, PEOPLE HAVING SEX ON THE

BEACH IN PUBLIC.

>> THE ABUNDANCE OF THEOVERDRINKING.

>> THESE YOUNG LADIESWHO ARE DISGRACING THEMSELVES BY

RUNNING AROUND ACTING LIKE THAT.

>> WOMEN TAKE THEIR TOPSOFF.

>> THE YOUNG GIRL ON THE BOXWITH NO BOTTOM ON.

>> THESE SLOPPY DRUNKEN DUDESDOWN THERE.

>> GUYS WERE LITERALLY TAKINGTHEIR PANTS OFF.

>> YES. WAS HIGH AS A KITE.

>> LOTS OF DRINKING, DRUGS,RISKY BEHAVIOR SOMETIMES WITH

TRAGIC RESULTS.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: SHORTLY AFTER FILMING

THAT PIECE THAT YOUNG WOMAN BLEWOUT HER LEFT BUTT CHEEK.

[ LAUGHTER ]DOCTORS SAY SHE MAY NEVER TWERK

AGAIN.

PERHAPS SHE'LL HAVE TO FILE FORTWERKMAN'S COMP.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]SO YOU DID A WEEK OF SHOWS ON

THIS.

WHAT WISDOM DID THE PANELIMPART?

>> MY DAUGHTER THERE'S NO WAY INHELL SHE'S GOING THERE.

>> Jon: WELL, THAT MAKESSENSE.

I ASSUME THE SAME GOES FOR YOURSONS.

>> BUT WITH MY SONS I HOPE THEYHAVE A GREAT TIME.

>> MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL BUTWE'RE DIFFERENT.

IF I HAD A COLLEGE SON I WOULDSAY HERE IS $100, HAVE FUN.

>> Jon: LET'S JUST ALL AGREETHAT THAT IS SEXIST AND MOVE ON

TO THE MORE PRESSING ISSUE HERE.

$100?

[LAUGHTER]HE'S GOING TO SPRING BREAK NOT

DAVE AND BUSTERS.

LOOK.

[ LAUGHTER ]YOU ARE GOING TO GET A CALL

THREE HOURS INTO SPRINGBREAK "HEY, THANKS FOR $100. IT

GOT ME TO DELAWARE."

[LAUGHTER]NOW I'M JUST SITTING HERE

BLOWING TRUCKERS TRYING TO GETDOWN TO TAMPA.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TOHAVE TO DO TO GET HOME.

TELL MOM I LOVE HER.

[ LAUGHTER ]NOW SOME OF THE MORE SKEPTICAL

VIEWERS MIGHT THINK THIS IS LESSOF A NEWS STORY AND MORE OF A

REASON TO SPEND A WEEK RUNNINGWILDLY INAPPROPRIATELY T AND A

FOOTAGE ALONGSIDE PUNDITSTSSKING SAID FOOTAGE.

BUT YOU WOULD ONLY BE 99.9%RIGHT. YOU SEE,

THIS IS AN IN-DEPTH CAUTIONARYTALE OF WHAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN

CHILDREN ARE NOT PROPERLYRAISED.

>> WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS, ISWHAT I WANT TO KNOW?

>> PARENTS TODAY REALLY NEED TOGET A GRIP ON WHAT GOING IS ON.

>> IT'S UP TO THE PARENTSPARENTS TO INSTRUCT THE KIDS.

>> IT'S TIME FOR PARENTS TOSTART PARENTING.

>> IT REALLY COMES DOWN TOPARENTS.

>> Jon: WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?

[LAUGHTER]WHAT KIND OF ROTTEN NEGLECTFUL

PARENTS WOULD ALLOW THEIR KIDSTO EVEN GO ON SPRING BREAK?

>> ONE TIME I WENT TO CANCUN INCOLLEGE.

>> I WENT TO ACAPULCO AND IWENT TO SOUTH BEACH.

>> I WENT TO AUBURN UNIVERSITYIN THE SOUTH AND

SPRING BREAK WAS HUGE FOR ALLOF US.

>> I WENT TO SYRACUSEUNIVERSITY. IT WAS A PART

SCHOOL. I HAD A GREAT TIME. IWENT ON SPRING BREAK.

>> I WENT TO PANAMA CITY IN1992.

I WAS AT SHARKIES.

I MAY HAVE GOTTEN OVERSERVED ONEOR TWO NIGHTS.

>> I'VE BEEN DOWN THERE.

>> YOU KNOW ALL THOSE PLACES.

>> I KNOW ALL THOSE PLACES.

>> Jon: YOU DO.

SO WHAT KIND OF (bleep) PARENTSLET THEIR KID GO TO SPRING

BREAK?

OH, RIGHT YOUR (bleep)PARENTS. SO YOU JUST DON'T WANT

KIDS TODAY -- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

-- YOU CLEARLY DON'T WANT KIDSTODAY DOING THE TERRIBLE THINGS

YOU HAVE SUCH FOND MEMORIES OFDOING.

I GUESS IF THEY ARE GOING TO DOIT, THERE'S ONE THING YOU WOULD

LIKE THEM TO KNOW, THEY AREDOING IT WRONG.

>> WHAT WE USED TO DO WHEN WEWERE YOUNG PUT A BOOM HOLE,

HOLD IT UP, OPEN IT UP AND THATWAS CALLING SHOTGUN.

>> SHOOT THAT CUP.

>> THIS IS CALLED, GO AHEAD -->> -- A FUNNEL.

>> THEY HAVE TO LEANBACK. IT OPENS UP THEIR THROAT.

AND THE BEER LITERLLY JUST GOESDOWN.

>> CHLOE!>> THAT'S JUST WATER.

>> YOU HAVE TO BEND YOUR KNEES ALITTLE BIT.

THAT'S THE WHOLE TRICK.

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH BENDYOUR KNEES A LITTLE BIT.

YEAH, YEAH.

SHOW THEM HOW TERRIBLE IT IS.

[ LAUGHTER ]HONESTLY IT'S THE (bleep)

WEIRDEST WEEK OF TV I'VE EVERSEEN.

PERHAPS AS ALWAYS THE BESTADVICE ON STAYING SAFE CAME FROM

FOX NEWS LIBERAL ROBERT BECKEL.

>> I USE A LOT OF COCAINE INMY LIFE.

I HAVE HAD GOOD COCAINE AND BADCOCAINE. I GUARANTEE

YOU THE STUFF THEY'RE SELLINGDOWN HERE IS BAD.

>> Jon: SO REMEMBER KIDS STAY INSCHOOL, GET BETTER PARENTS, AND

DON'T GO TO SPRING BREAK.

BUT IF YOU DO, BRING YOURCOCAINE FROM HOME.

[ LAUGHTER ]I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH:

WHEN YOU GO ON SPRING BREAK,BRING THE COCAINE YOU USE AT

HOME.

[ LAUGHTER ]THE COCAINE YOU TRUST.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND THAT'S THE MORE YOU DO BLOW

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT.

THIS GUY.

THIS GUY CAN ACT.

HE HAS A NEW FILM CALLED "THERAILWAY MAN."

>> I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO BEALIVE.

NO, OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T.

YOU THOUGHT YOU GOT AWAY WITHIT.

WHY ARE YOU ALIVE?

>> WHY ARE WE ALIVE?

>> NO, YOU.

WHY ARE YOU ALIVE?

YOU WERE A WAR CRIMINAL, WHYDIDN'T THEY HANG YOU?

>> NOT A WAR CRIMINAL, JUST ANINTERPRETER.

>> YOU KNEW EVERYTHING.

WHY DID THEY LET YOU LIVE?

>> Jon: THAT LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THEPROGRAM COLIN FIRTH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )MY MAN!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THAT'S YOU RIGHT THERE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THERE YOU GO.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )YOU ARE LOOKING WELL MY FRIEND.

>> AS YOU ARE.

>> Jon: HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'M GOOD.

HOW ARE YOU?

>> Jon: YOU ARE SO GOOD IN THIS.

>> THANK YOU.

YOU SAW IT?

>> Jon: NO.

NO, I DID SEE IT.

IT'S PHENOMENAL.

BUT IT'S INCREDIBLY EMOTIONAL.

AND WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUTTHIS.

SO IT SORT OF FLIPS BACK ANDFORTH.

I DON'T WANT TO GIVE... IS ITOKAY TO SAY IT GOES FROM...

>> TELL THE WHOLE THING IT'SFINE.

I'LL FIND OUT IF YOU AREBLUFFING.

>> Jon: WORLD WAR II TO LIKE1980.

IT GOES BACK AND FORTH.

WE WERE THINKING 1980 IS APERIOD PIECE.

BECAUSE THE DISTANCE OF TIMEBETWEEN 1980 AND NOW IS THE SAME

AMOUNT BETWEEN 1980 AND WORLDWAR II.

>> HURTS, DOESN'T IT?

>> Jon: IT REALLY...

>> I WAS DOING A PLAY SET IN1952, AND I REFERRED IT TO AS

A PERIOD PIECE AND MY MOTHER WASMORTIFIED.

>> Jon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT'SMODERN HISTORY?

>> NO, NO. EXACTLY.

THE FIRST TIME I WAS ON YOURSHOW WOULD PROBABLY A PERIOD

PIECE NOW.

( LAUGHTER )>> Jon: EXACTLY.

A WOMAN ASKED ME TONIGHT WHENYOU FIRST STARTED HERE WHAT WAS

IT LIKE... I WAS LIKE WHEN DID IFIRST START?

WAS IT 42? OR WAS IT 52?

BUT YOU CLEARLY NOW YOU ARE INSOME KIND OF FIGHTING SHAPE.

ARE YOU DOING A BOXING MOVIE ORSOMETHING?

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN THIS TYPEOF FIGHTING SHAPE BEFORE?

>> PEOPLE SEEM TO ASSUME I WASTRAINING FOR THIS FILM WHICH I

HAD DONE THE YEAR BEFORE.

I KNOW I'M SLOW TO CATCH UP ONTHINGS.

( LAUGHTER )BUT I USUALLY TRY TO STAY A

LITTLE BIT MORE AHEAD OF THINGSTHAN THAT.

I'M PLAYING A SPY, I'M AN ACTIONHERO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Jon: THIS IS THE FIRST...

>> THEY APPLAUD BEFORE THEY'VESEEN IT.

>> Jon: THIS IS EXCITING. THISSTORY, THE ONE IN THIS,

THE GENTLEMAN YOU AREPORTRAYING, THIS IS A TRUE STORY

THIS IS A GENTLEMAN WHO WAS HELDIN THAILAND.

>> CAPTURED IN SINGAPORE, TAKENTO THAILAND BASICALLY AS AN ARMY

OF SLAVES TO DO THIS IMPOSSIBLETASK OF BUILDING A RAILWAY

THROUGH THE JUNGLE.

IT WAS AN ACT OF MASS MURDER.

AND MORE THAN 100,000 PEOPLE DIDDIE UNDER THOSE CONDITIONS.

IT'S THE MOST EXTREME BRUTALITYYOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE.

HE SURVIVED IT.

HE, LIKE MOST PEOPLE, VETERANSOF THAT EXPERIENCE, BOTTLED IT

UP FOR DECADES.

HE THRIVED ON HATRED. HE WANTEDVENGENCE.

>> Jon: WELL, THIS IS ABOUT THETRAUMA, THE P.T.S.D. THAT HE

EXPERIENCES IN FLASHBACKS.

>> EXACTLY, WHICH PROBABLYDIDN'T HAVE A NAME AT THE TIME.

HE FOUND RATHER MIRACULOUSLYFOUND THE GUY HE WAS LOOKING

FOR.

FOUND HIM TO STILL BE ALIVE ANDWENT OUT TO KILL HIM.

THAT'S WHAT LEADS TO THE SCENEYOU SAW THERE.

>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU HOW THATSCENE ENDS.

IT'S PHENOMENAL.

( LAUGHTER )THE GENTLEMAN IS NO LONGER WITH

US, BUT HIS WIFE IS.

YOU MET HER.

>> I MET THEM BOTH.

ERIC PASSED AWAY ABOUT A YEARAND A HALF AGO.

>> Jon: OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE.

>> AND I GOT TO KNOW HIM.

YOU KNOW, IT BECOMES VERYPERSONAL.

>> Jon: ABSOLUTELY.

IT'S NOT JUST A JOB AT THATPOINT.

PATTY HAS BEEN HERE IN NEW YORKTALKING ABOUT THE FILM WITH US.

YOU KNOW, IT'S...

>> Jon: WAS THAT THE PERSONWHOSE APPROVAL OR DISAPPROVAL

WAS MOST...

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Jon: ...IN THE FRONT OF YOURMIND.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Jon: WHEN THAT WAS DELIVEREDTO YOU IN I'M ASSUMING A

POSITIVE FASHION BECAUSESHE'S STILL WITH THE THING,

WAS THAT A WEIGHT OFFYOUR SHOULDERS?

>> A WEIGHT OFF AND THEN ON.

BECAUSE OF COURSE, IF SHE HADWITHHELD APPROVAL, I DON'T EVEN

KNOW HOW WE WOULDHAVE GOT GOING.

THE FACT THAT WE WERE THENTRUSTED TO TAKE THIS PRECIOUS

STORY.

AND THE REASON IT'S PRECIOUS ISTHAT OUT OF THIS WALL OF

SILENCE THIS MANSPOKE. AND IT WAS AT GREAT COST

TO HIM TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUTWHAT HAPPENED.

HE WAS SPEAKING FOR THOUSANDS OFPEOPLE WHO HAD NOT SPOKEN AND

HE'S SAYING OVER TO YOU.

A GUY TO WHOM NOTHING HASHAPPENED EVER.

>> Jon: I HEARD YOU WENT JOGGINGONCE.

>> I WENT JOGGING AND SOMEBODYWAS MEAN TO ME AT SCHOOL ONCE.

( LAUGHTER )SO YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT I HAD TO

DRAW ON.

AND, YOU KNOW, TO TAKE THIS HUGESTORY AND YOU'VE GOT 90 MINUTES

OF SCREEN TIME TO BE TRUE TO ITWAS... IT WAS AN INCENTIVE BUT,

YEAH THERE WAS A LITTLE BIT ONONE SHOULDER.

>> Jon: BEAUTIFULLY DONE, MYFRIEND.

REALLY, REALLY.

AS ALWAYS WITH YOUR STUFF EXCEPTFOR THIS NEW ONE THAT

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THATSOUNDS ( BLEEP ) TERRIBLE.

NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.

( LAUGHTER )"THE RAILWAY MAN" IT OPENS IN

NEW YORK AND LA ON FRIDAY ANDEVERYWHERE APRIL 18.

COLIN FIRTH, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN.

>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

HERE IT IS YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> A QUARTER OF A MILLIONAMERICAN COLLEGE STUDENTS ARE

EXPECTED TO VISIT DAYTONAFLORIDA OVER THE NEXT THREE

WEEKS AND THEY ARE NOT STUDYING.

WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS HAVINGFUN.

THE KIND OF FUN THAT FRANKIEAVALON AND ANNETTE FUNICELLO

NEVER EVEN DREAMED POSSIBLE.

Loading...