April 8, 2014 - Denis Leary

  • Episode: 19088
  • (0)

Al Madrigal tackles the liberal Latino media bias regarding Obamacare, "Noah" disappoints certain moviegoers, and Denis Leary shares his hairstyle choices for "Draft Day."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOOD SHOW TONIGHT.

MY GUEST WILL BE DENIS LEARY.

WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THEBENEFITS OF MEDITATION AND OUR

FAVORITE PALESTINIAN POLISHCUISINE.

[LAUGHTER]BUT FIRST -- A LITTLE DISCUSSION

WE WERE HAVING EARLIER IN THEAUDIENCE.

[LAUGHTER]THE END OF MARCH SAW THE

AFFORDABLE CARE ACT ENROLLMENTDEADLINE.

IT WAS A CRUCIAL TEST FOR THEOBAMA ADMINISTRATION THEY SET AN

AMBITIOUS GOAL LAST SEPTEMBER.

>> I THINK SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE ATLEAST 7 MILLION PEOPLE SIGNING

UP BY THE END OF MARCH 2014.

>> Jon: AND FAILURE LOOKS MEME PRETENDING WE NEVER HAD

THIS CONVERSATION. C'MON. 7MILLION ENROLLEES WITH A WEBSITE

YOU COULDN'T LOG ONTO FOR AMONTH,

AND GOVERNMENT MANDATED ABORTIONPANELS FOR PUPPIES.

YOU'LL NEVER GET THERE.

>> IN 5 MONTHS ALLEGEDLY FOURMILLION PEOPLE SIGNED UP.

THEY EXPECT TO GET THREE MOREMILLION IN ONE MONTH. WOW,

THIS IS GOING TO BE A DISASTER.

>> Jon: DISASTER! IT'SA FEVER DREAM. A PREPOSTEROUS

FANTASY FIT MORE BY THEOUTLANDISH RAMBLINGS OF

AN OPIATE FIEND AS HELAYS BABBLING IN A DRUG

INDUCED STUPOR ON ASOILED ALPHABET CITY MATTRESS.

I WATCHED CHINATOWN LAST NIGHT,I'M SORRY.

SO THE DEADLINE PASSED.

GIVE US THE TOTAL.

>> 7.1 MILLION AMERICANS HAVENOW SIGNED UP FOR PRIVATE

INSURANCE PLANS THROUGH THESEMARKETPLACES.

7.1.

>> Jon: WOW.

GOT IT ALMOST EXACTLY.

[LAUGHTER]WITH A HEALTHY 1.4% MARGIN OF

ERROR THAT WILL EASE SUSPICIONS.

QUEUE THE CELEBRATION.

>> HOW REAL ARE THOSE NUMBERS?

>> THIS IS A PHONY NUMBER.

>> I ACTUALLY THINK THE WHITEHOUSE IS STRAIGHT UP LYING ABOUT

THESE NUMBERS.

>> THIS IS A SHAM.

>> I THINK THEY ARE COOKING THEBOOKS ON THIS.

>> Jon: IF I KNOW THISADMINISTRATION THEY ARE PROBABLYSTEAMING

THE BOOKS INSTEAD OF COOING THEMWITH OIL OR BUTTER.

MIGHT GIVE THE BOOKS SOMEFLAVOR, AND THEY'RE PROBABLY

SERVING MACROBIOTIC KALE WITHTHE BOOKS.

AND FOR DESSERT WITH THE BOOKSSOME SORT OF

MIDDLE EASTERN HONEY PASTRY WITHFLAXSEED THAT NOBODY LIKES AND

THEN AFTERWARDS THEY'LL COMPOSTTHEIR STEAMED BOOK (bleep).

[ LAUGHTER ]COMMUNISTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS RATHER

FORTUITOUS INCREASE.

>> 7.1 MILLION FOLKS HAVE HEALTHINSURANCE BECAUSE PEOPLE GOT THE

WORD OUT.

WE DIDN'T MAKE A HARD SELL.

>> Jon: WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]WORD OF MOUTH.

YOU DIDN'T MAKE A HARD SELL.

THE SIGNUP WAS THE CENTER PIECEOF YOUR STATE OF THE UNION

ADDRESS.

YOU TALKED IT UP ON ELLEN, ONRACHEL RAY, ON THE TONIGHT SHOW,

ENLISTED AN ARMY OF PROFESSIONALATHLETES, EVERY ACTOR IN

HOLLYWOOD.

YOU SAT BETWEEN TWO FERNS ANDTHEN THERE WAS WHATEVER THE HELL

THIS IS.

♪ LISTEN TO ME, A TALKING PUGYOU SEE IF YOU GET HEALTH

INSURANCE PREVENTATIVECARE IS NOW FREE ♪

>> Jon: DIDN'T GIVE THE HARD

SELL?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]FOR GOD SAKES YOU TAUGHT A DOG

TO RAP ABOUT HEALTH INSURANCE.

EVEN THE TACO BELL CHIHUAHUA WASLIKE YO QUIERO, WE GET IT.

BUT APPARENTLY, ACCORDING TOBRENT BOZELL OF THE

CONSERVATIVE MEDIA RESEARCH(bleep), I MEAN CENTER.

[ LAUGHTER ]THE GOVERNMENT HAD A SECRET

OBAMACARE ENROLLMENT SELLINGWEAPON.

>> FOR MORE THAN A YEAR THESPANISH LANGUAGE TELEVISION

NETWORK UNIVISION HAS EMBARKEDON THEIR OWN COMPANY WIDE EFFORT

TO GET LATINOS SIGNEDUP FOR THE EXCHANGES.

>> Jon: BASTARDOS! HOW DARE ACABLE NETWORK USE ITS REACH TO

HELP THE AUDIENCE COMPLY WITHTHE LAW.

THAT'S NOT NEWS.

WE'RE JOINED BY SENIOR LATINOCORRESPONDENT AL MADRIGAL.

AL.

BRENT BOZELL, FOX, ARE THEYMAKING TOO MUCH OF THE LIBERAL

BIAS OF UNIVISION AND TELEMUNDO?

>> JON, IF YOU ASK ME THEY ARENOT MAKING ENOUGH OF IT.

THESE NETWORKS SHOULD BERENAMED BARACK-A-VISION

AND OBAMA -MUNDO.

THEY ARE PRACTICALLY FORCINGLATINOS TO SIGN UP FOR HEALTH

CARE. [SPEAKING SPANISH]

>> Jon: THAT JUST STRIKES ME AS

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTTELLING PEOPLE ABOUT SOMETHING

THAT IS THE LAW.

THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT,DON'T THEY?

>> EXACTLY.

WHERE IS THE UNDERMINING?

THE FEAR-MONGER? THE PART ABOUTHOW OBAMACARE WILL KILL

MY ABUELITA?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE ANINFORMED DECISION?

HERE IS HOW. ♪

[LAUGHTER] CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S HOW YOU COVER THEAFFORDABLE

CARE ACT WITH THE FAIR ANDBALANCED MASHUP OF OBAMACARE,

CONTAGION AND THE WALKING DEADCREDITS.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO THE VIEWERS CAN DECIDE HOW

THEY FEEL ABOUT OBAMACARE.

>> Jon: RIGHT AFTER THEIRCHANGE THEIR PANTS.

THAT WAS TERRIFYING.

>> THIS IS NOT A JOKE, JON.

I MEAN, OBAMA --[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU ARE RIGHT.

I APOLOGIZE.

>> IT'S NOT A JOKE AT ALL.

>> Jon: YOU ARE RIGHT.

>> OBAMACARE IS JUST THE FIRSTSTOP ON THE UNIVISION, TELEMUNDO

PROPAGANDA TRAIN.LOOK AT THIS BLATNT GLOBAL

WARMING PROPAGANDA: [SPEAKINGSPANISH]

[LAUGHTER]THOSE OUTFITS SCREAM THE POLAR

ICE CAPS ARE MELTING.

I'M SO HOT.

LET'S DO A BODY SHOT BEFORE THEWORLD ENDS.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: THE LIPS ARE VERY

POUTY BUT I DON'T -- TO BEPERFECTLY HONEST I CAN'T THINK

OF A GOOD REASON WHY THEMETEOROLOGISTS WOULD DRESS

THAT WAY.

SO POINT TO YOU ON THAT ONE.

>> NOW YOU GET WHAT THEY ARE UPTO.

IT'S ONE THING TO LURE US INWITH THE LIBERAL WEATHER SIRENS

BUT THEY ARE EVEN USING THEIRNINOS.

>> APPROVING THE KEYSTONEPIPELINE IS LOCO WE NEED

RENEWABLES LIKE SOLAR.

>> ALL WOMEN DESERVE THE RIGHTTO FREE ON DEMAND BIRTH CONTROL.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: THAT IS CLEARLY YOU

DUBBING A LITTLE BABY VOICE

>> THANK IS CRAZY SENOR JON. IMEAN THAT'S CRAZY JON.

>> Jon: WHERE SHOULD SPANISHSPEAKING AMERICANS GET THEIR

NEWS AND WEATHER THEN?

>> HOW ABOUT FOX NEWS LATINO.HERE THEY ARE COVERING A RECENT

RULE CHANGE THAT GIVESIMMIGRANTS A WAIVER FROM

PENALTIES WHILE THEY WORK THEYON LEGALIZING THEIR STATUS.

>> Jon: ACTUALLY YOU KNOWWHAT, THAT ACTUALLY LOOKED VERY

FAIR. IT SEEMED LIKE ANINFORMATIVE STORY FRAMED

COMPASSIONATELY ABOUT AN

ISSUE AFFECTING A LOT OFLATINOS. HEY YOU KNOW WHAT'S

INTERESTING. YOU KNOW WHAT IJUST NOTICED FOX NEWS LATINO IS

RIGHT NEXT TO FOX NATION ONTHE TABS THERE.

>> OH HEY, YEAH YOU DON'T WANTTO CLICK ON THAT.

>> Jon: LET'S CLICK ON THAT,YEAH.

>> WOW.

>> SAME STORY JUST A SLIGHTLYDIFFERENT ANGLE.

>> Jon: I'LL SAY. IT DIDN'T EVENLOOK LIKE FAMILIES WERE BEING

BROUGHT TOGETHERIN THAT PICTURE.

I WONDER IF THE COMMENT SECTIONIS ANY DIFFERENT.

>> DON'T. OH NO NO NO NO. I BEGOF YOU.

IF YOU HAVE ANY DECENCY AT ALLAS A MAN.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND.

>> Jon: WHAT'S IN THE COMMENTSSECTION? LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

HOLY (bleep).

OH, MY GOD!

>> I SAID DON'T LOOK AT THECOMMENTS.

AND YOU LOOK AT THE COMMENTS.

>> Jon: HAVE THE POLICE BEENALERTED TO SARGIE?

HAVE THEY BEEN -->> LOOK JON, FOX WANTS TO REACH

A LATINO AUDIENCE AND THEY WANTTO REACH A

CONSERVATIVE WHITE AUDIENCEWITHOUT THE TWO OF THEM FINDING

OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER.

>> Jon: THEY ARE RIGHT NEXT TOEACH OTHER ON THE PAGE. THE TABS

ARE THERE. YOU CAN'TKEEP THEM SEPARATE.

>> YOU CAN, ACTUALLY IF YOUBUILD A DANG FENCE.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

>> PROBLEM SOLVED.

EVERYONE IS HAPPY.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I NEEDTO GO DO SOME MORE RESEARCH ON

THE TELEMUNDO WEATHER GIRLPROPAGANDA.

>> Jon: YOU ARE GOING TOMASTURBATE TO THE WEATHER,

AREN'T YOU?>> SI.

[LAUGHTER]AL MADRIGAL EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]TWO THINGS.

TWO THINGS.

TWO THINGS WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THEAMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

ONE IT IS FULL OF THE COUNTRY'SKINDEST AND MOST THOUGHTFUL

PEOPLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND TWO,

>> HOLLYWOOD FOR YEARS HASUNDERESTIMATED HOW MUCH WE WANT

TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THEBIBLE AND RELIGION.

>> ANTI-CHRISTIAN BIGOTRY ISJUST FINE IN THE ENTERTAINMENTINDUSTRY.

>> WHY DOESN'T HOLLYWOOD CHURNOUT MORE RELIGIOUS MOVIES.

>> Jon: THAT'S HOW YOU SHOWRESPECT FOR RELIGION.

GET IN THERE AND CHURN SOME(bleep) OUT.

HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWSBECAUSE THIS WEEK'S TOP ACTION

HEROES AT THE BOX OFFICE ARE NOTONLY CAPTAIN AMERICA BUT ALSO

CAPTAIN SUMERIA.

IN TWO WEEKS OF RELEASE, THENOAH MOVIE HAS EARNED NEARLY

$200 MILLION WORLDWIDE, SORELIGIOUS FILM GOERS MUST

HAVE SOMETHING TO CHEERABOUT.

>> IT IS AWFUL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: DID NOT SEE THATCOMING.

WHAT IS THE ISSUE?

>> THEY CLAIM THAT THE MOVIE ISUNFAITHFUL TO ONE OF BIBLES MOST

FAMOUS TALES.

>> THERE'S DEFINITELY ARTISTICLIBERTIES TAKEN IN THE FILM.

THIS MOVIE IS NOT A DOCUMENTARY.

[ LAUGHTER ][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: SO YOU ARE TELLING METHAT THE MOVIE ABOUT A MAN WHO

LIVES TO 950 AND LOADS TWO OFEVERY ANIMAL ONTO A 300 CUBIT

LONG BOAT, BY THE WAY ACUBIT IS FROM HERE TO HERE,

300 OF THESE BAD BOYS YEAHTHAT'S GOING TO KEEP THE LIONS

AWAY FROM THE DELICIOUS ZEBRAS.LISTEN. YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT

FILM WON'T QUALIFY TO SUBMIT INTHE DOCUMENTARY CATEGORY.

THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.

I GUESS WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TOSAY IS THIS VERSION IS A

BIT DIFFERENT FROM WHATIS IN THE BIBLE.

BUT HOW DIFFERENT COULD NOAH BE?

>> IT DOESN'T USE THE WORD GOD,NOT ONCE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE

FILM.

>> NOT REFERENCE AT ALL TO GODIN THE ENTIRE MOVIE.

>> Jon: THAT IS WEIRD BECAUSEIF THERE'S NO GOD IN THE MOVIE

WHO IS TELLING HIM TO BUILD THEBOAT?

TO GO ALL WATERWORLD WE BOUGHT AZOO ON EVERYONE?

>> THE MOVIE DOES USE THE WORDCREATOR IN REFERENCING GOD.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE BIBLEUSES THE WORD GOD. HIS DOG?

>> THE MOVIE DOES USE THE WORDCREATOR IN REFERENCING GOD.

THE PROBLEM IS THOUGH THAT THEBIBLE USES THE WORD GOD.

>> Jon: YEAH, I MEAN CREATORTHAT COULD MEAN ANYTHING.

AND WHILE THE BIBLE DOESN'TACTUALLY EVER USE THE WORD GOD

BECAUSE IT'S NOT IN ENGLISH. MYGUESS IS WE'RE NOT REALLY UP FOR

THAT DISCUSSION. BUT THEQUESTION IS, IS CREATOR ENOUGH?

I MEAN CREATOR COULD BE XENU,COULD BE TYLER THE CREATOR,

COULD BE THE MASTERBUILDER. IF ONLY SOMEONE IN

THE NOAH FILM, IF ONLY SOMEONEIN THIS FILM LIKE NOAH'S SON

HAM SAID SOMETHING CLEAR ANDUNEQUIVOCAL LIKE QUOTE

"MY FATHER SAYS THERE CAN BE NOKING. THE CREATOR IS GOD."

THAT WOULD CLARIFY.

OH RIGHT THEY DIDN'T SEE THE(bleep) MOVIE.

WHAT ELSE DID THEY PUT INTHIS MOVIE THAT ISN'T IN THEBIBLE?

>> NOAH GETS DRUNK.

NOAH HAS SOME VERY DARK MOMENTS.

THOSE ARE THINGS THAT SOME EARLYTEST AUDIENCES WERE NOT EXCITED

ABOUT.

>> Jon: YOU CAN'T SLANDER NOAHLIKE THAT.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?GENESIS CHAPTER 9, VERSE 21.

WHY DON'T YOU REMEMBER ANY OFTHIS STUFF?

YOU DID READ THE SAME BIBLE ASTHE REST OF US, RIGHT?

>> MY MEMORIES OF THE STORY OFNOAH ARE VERY DIFFERENT.

I HAD THIS CHILDREN'S BIBLE WHENI WAS A KID AND IT ALL THESE

ILLUSTRATIONS IN IT. THEY HADTHE TWO ANIMLS WALKING SIDE BY

SIDE AND THE SUN COMESOUT AND EVERYBODY LIVES HAPPILY

EVER AFTER.

>> Jon: EVERYBODY?

NOBODY LIVES!

EVERYBODY IS ONE FAMILY AND TWOOF EVERY ANIMAL.

EVERYBODY ELSE DROWNED.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY KOALA BEARSDROWNED?

[AUDIENCE BOOS] TALK TO GOD.

I THINK THE PROBLEM IS THEY MADEAN OLD TESTAMENT BIBLE MOVIE.

THE OLD TESTAMENT HAS STUFF INIT THAT YOU DON'T

NECESSARILY WANTFILMMAKERS TO TALK ABOUT.

JUST STICK TO JESUS AND YOUCAN'T GO WRONG.

>> SON OF GOD IS GENERATING ALOT OF HEAT BECAUSE JESUS IS

UMM SO SEXY.

I'M GAWKING AT THIS ACTOR ANDI'M THINKING OH MY GOSH,

I'M GAWKING AT JESUS.>> IS THIS PROPER?

>> AND THEN I FELT KIND OF DIRTYAND CREEPY, RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: DON'T WORRY I'M SURE

SEXY JESUS FORGIVES YOU.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: HELLO, WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, HE'S GOT A NEWFILM OUT IT'S CALLED DRAFT DAY.

>> I'M SORRY SONNY IS THIS A BADTIME?

>> I GOTTA GO, MOM.

>> THIS IS THE DRAFT ANALYSISWE'VE ALL BEEN WORKING ON FOR

THE LAST TWO MONTHS.

>> FIRE.

ALLEY, FIRE!

>> WHY AM I HERE, SONNY?

>> BECAUSE MALIA THINKS YOUCOACHED THE COWBOYS.

>> I DID COACH THE COWBOYS.

>> AND I THINK YOU WERE A BADBABY-SITTER.

>> THIS CITY DESERVES ACHAMPIONSHIP AND I'M THE GUY

THAT CAN DELIVER IT.

>> Jon: TO CLEVELAND?

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THEPROGRAM DENIS LEARY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> I HAVE TO SAY HI TO MY

PEOPLE.

>> Jon: GO SIT DOWN.

SIT DOWN.

>> MY PEOPLE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: SIT DOWN.

>> MY PEOPLE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]I HAD TO STOP AND SAY HI TO MY

PEOPLE, JON.

>> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU THEPONTIFEX? WHAT WAS THAT?

>> IF I COULD POINT OUT IN THATCLIP I HAVE VERY SHORT HAIR AND

I'M PLAYING THE COACH OF THECLEVELAND BROWNS.

>> Jon: THAT'S CORRECT.

>> AND NOW I HAVE VERY LONG ROCK'N' ROLL HAIR BECAUSE I'M

CURRENTLY PLAYING A ROCK STARBECAUSE I HAVE GREAT ACTING

RANGE, JON.

>> Jon: NO, YOU DO.

IS THAT THE HAIR WAS.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING THE RONDUGUAY STORY.

REMEMBER THE RANGERS?

>> WHY ARE THEY MAKING THAT?

I BRING IT UP, JON BECAUSE YOUMADE A MOVIE THIS PAST YEAR THAT

YOU DIRECTED THAT I'M NOT IN.

>> Jon: WELL, BECAUSE I WASMAKING A FILM, NOT A MOVIE.

>> OH.

[AUDIENCE REACTS]>> Jon: I WAS TRYING TO CLASS

IT UP A LITTLE BIT.

>> WITH SERIOUS ACTORS.

>> Jon: JUST ACTORS PEOPLEWHO COULD ACT.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

[ LAUGHTER ]CAN I GO BACK TO THE HAIR CLIP

AGAIN.

I DO A LOT OF MY ACTING WITH MYHAIR. IT'S ONE OF MY GIFTS.

>> Jon: LET ME ASK YOU AQUESTION.

HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO GETA PERM?

WHAT DID THEY -->> FIRST OF ALL, FIRST OF

ALL, IT'S LIKE DENIRO IN RAGINGBULL. LET ME JUST POINT OUT A

COUPLE THINGS. YOU HAVE TOGROW IT OUT, OKAY?

>> Jon: SURE.

>> THEN FOR A WHILE, FOR MONTHSAT A TIME.

YOU HAVE TO REALLY LET IT GROW.

>> Jon: OR WALK INTO LIKE ASAUNA, I GUESS COULD YOU DO.

>> AND THEN YOU HAVE TO GO AHAIR SALON.

I WENT TO AN ACTUAL HAIR SALONAND HAD IT CUT BY A PROFESSIONAL

HAIR STYLIST.

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.

I REMEMBER BEING REALLYIMPRESSED WITH ROBERT DENIRO IN

RAGING BULL BECAUSE OF WHAT HEDID WITH HIS HAIR.

I THOUGHT HE WASREALLY AWESOME.

>> THAT'S BEEN DONE. I'M DOINGGA HAIR THING.

OKAY.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE HAIR TOBEGIN WITH, FIRST OF ALL.

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION.

>> Jon: PLEASE.

ASK ME A QUESTION.

>> WHO IS IN THE MOVIE THAT YOUDIRECTED.

WHAT KIND OF PARTS?

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW THEIRNAMES.

WE HAVE A TREMENDOUS CAST. GAELGARCIA BERNAL IS IN IT.

>> WHO'S A FANTASTIC ACTOR.

DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS?

GREAT.

>> Jon: SHOHREH AGHDASHLOO,WE'VE GOT YOUR

HALUK BILGINER, WE'VE GOT YOURNASSER FARIS.

>> OKAY SO THERE'S --[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> THERE'S ONE GUY IN THE BACK.

SO THERE'S IS NO AMERICANCHARACTERS IN MOVIE AT ALL.

>> Jon: IT TAKES PLACE INIRAN.

SO I'M GOING TO GO WITH NO.

[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S IN IRAN IN2009. MAZIAR, YOU KNOW MAZIAR.

HE'S THE JOURNALIST THAT GOTARRESTED IN IRAN IN 2009.

HELD IN CAPTIVITY FOR FOURMONTHS.

IT'S ABOUT THAT. IT TAKES PLACEIN IRAN.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE ISTALKING ABOUT.

>> Jon: I WOULD HAVE USED YOUIN IT IF IN LIKE WHEN HE WAS IN

IRAN HE WAS LIKE YEAH, AND THEREWAS THIS ONE (bleep) IRISH GUY.

>> BY THE WAY WAS IT SO HARDTHAT THERE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN

ONE (bleep) IRISH GUY AT THEBAR?

>> Jon: I WILL SAY THIS I DIDWRITE IN A PART FOR SHAQUILLE

O'NEAL BUT I JUST NEEDED A GENIETO GET US OUT OF A JAM AT THE

END OF THE MOVIE. HE COMES INAS HIS CHARACTER IN SHAZAM.

>> ARE YOU'RE TELLING MENOW WHEN I SEE THE MOVIE,

WHAT IS THE NAME OF MOVIE?

>> Jon: ROSEWATER.

>> WHEN I SEE ROSEWATER.

>> Jon: WHEN YOU PAY FULLPRICE TO SEE ROSEWATER.

>> WHEN I PAY FULL PRICE TO SEEROSEWATER,

THERE WILL NOT BE ONE ENGLISHSPEAKING CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE

MOVIE?

NOT A BRITISH GUY, NO AMERICANGUY.

>> Jon: THEY ALL SPEAKENGLISH.

>> THERE'S NO BRITISH GUYS ORIRISH GUYS?

>> Jon: THERE ARE SOME BRITISHGUYS?

>> WHO ARE THEY PLAY SOMETHINGIN.

>> Jon: THEY ARE PLAYED BYBRITISH GUYS. I CAN'T DO ANIRISH

GUY AS A BRITISH GUY. DO YOUKNOW THE TENSION ON

THE SET THAT WOULD HAVE CAUSED?I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

YOU SHOW UP IN GREEN AND SOMEONEELSE IN ORANGE AND IT THE WHOLE

(bleep) THING GOES UP INFLAMES.

I DON'T WANT THAT. I WANTNOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

THIS IS ABOUT IRAN, A PEACEFULCOUNTRY.

>> DID YOU NOT WRITE THIS SCRIPTYOURSELF?

IT WAS BASED ON A BOOK. TRUESTORY.

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> YOU WROTE THE SCRIPT AND ITDIDN'T OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE

EVEN JUST BOX OFFICE-WISE ITWOULD HELP TO YOU HAVE ONE IRISH

AMERICAN CHARACTER THAT THEAUDIENCE COULD RELATE TO.

WHEN I CAME OUT PEOPLE WERE HIGHFIVING ME.

YOU NAMED THE PEOPLE IN YOURCAST AND ONE GUY WENT HUH!

>> Jon: YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RERIGHT. I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS

TRYING TO GET THIS THINGFINANCED IT WAS NOT EASY. IT'S A

TOUGH SELL. I REMEMBER SITTINGWITH A FINANCIER AND THEY SAID

TO ME, GET ME A GUY FROM DUMBODROP AND I'LL SEE WHAT I CANDO.

THEN I CAN SELL THIS THING.

YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING TOGO DUMBO DROP, DID YOU?

YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING TOGO DUMBO DROP?

>> I HAVE TO GIVE IT TO HIM.

I SAT HERE AND I DID NOT SEEDUMBO DROP COMING.

I WAS SO FOOLED. I WAS LIKE

I WONDER WHERE HE'S GOING AND OFCOURSE, WE WENT TO DUMBO DROP.

WE HAVE TO GO.

>> Jon: IS THIS MOVIE GOOD?

>> WHICH MOVIE?

>> Jon: DRAFT DAY THE ONE YOUARE IN.

>> WELL I HAVE A NUMBER OFMOVIES, JON. SHOW ME MY RANK.

I HAVE DRAFT DAY. DRAFTDAY IS A FOOTBALL MOVIE THAT

OPENS ON FRIDAY WITH ME,JENNIFERGARNER AND KEVIN COSTER.

SPIDERMAN 2 COMESOUT IN MAY, MAY 2.

AND I ALSO HAVE A TV SHOW CALLEDSIRENS I'M WRITING AND PRODUCING

THAT'S ON USA AND MORE PEOPLEKNOW THAT

THAN KNOW THE MEMBERS OF THECAST OF YOUR MOVIE.

>> Jon: OH SON OF A(bleep). DENIS LEARY, EVERYBODY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW,

EVERYBODY.

HERE IT IS YOUR MOMENT ZEN.

I LOVED HOW YOU ENDED THE WHOLEPIECE BECAUSE YOU SAY YOU WERE

SITTING THERE AND TRYING TOTHINK OF THE PERSON WHO COULD

MOST BE LIKE JESUS ON EARTHTODAY.

YOU COME UP WITH POPE FRANCIS.

YOU SAY IS HE HOT?

IN A WORD, NO.

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