June 27, 2011 - Jennifer Aniston

  • Episode: 16083
  • (0)

New York legalizes gay marriage, and Jennifer Aniston talks about her movie, "Horrible Bosses."

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

TONIGHT JENNIFER ANISTON.

JENNIFER ANISTON WILL BE HERE.

I HOPE I'M NOT TOO EXHAUSTED.

I HAD A CRAZY WEEKEND.

YESTERDAY LIKE EVERY YEAR IN

THE END OF JUNE LAST WEEKEND I

DRESS IN GLITTER LIKE A

PEACOCK.

I MARCH DOWN FIFTH AVENUE TO

RAISE AWARENESS OF EXOTIC

BIRDS.

AND I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU THIS

YEAR ALMOST MORE THAN ANY

OTHER YEAR IT WENT REALLY

REALLY WELL.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE THE SUPPORT

I WAS GETTING.

PEOPLE ARE LIKE THIS IS A

GREAT DAY.

IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.

I WAS LIKE, YEAH, EXOTIC

BIRDS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND THEN PEOPLE ARE LIKE

WASN'T FRIDAY AMAZING?

I WAS LIKE WHY?

WHAT HAPPENED FRIDAY?

>> IT IS A HISTORY-MAKING

NIGHT WITH A VOTE THAT JUST

HAPPENED A SHORT TIME AGO.

NEW YORK BECOMES THE 7th

JURISDICTION IN AMERICA TO

RECOGNIZE MARRIAGE FOR SAME

SEX COUPLES.

>> Jon: THAT'S A MAJOR CIVIL

RIGHTS VICTORY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

NEW YORK, FINALLY, NEW YORK

STATE'S GAY AND LESBIAN

COMMUNITY ARE FREE FROM THE

BURDEN THAT WAS HAVING TO SET

FOOT IN CONNECTICUT IN ORDER

TO GET MARRIED.

( APPLAUSE )

REALLY?

THE NUPTIALS ARE IN STAM

FORWARD?

MMMM.

YES, IT WAS LAST FRIDAY NIGHT

AT 10:30 P.M. EASTERN GAY

RIGHTS TIME AFTER A WEEK OF

TENSE NEGOTIATIONS AND

PROTESTS FEATURING BRUTAL GAY

VERSUS JEW BULL FIGHTING, THE

SENATE IN AL BANY FINALLY MADE

AN HONEST STATE OF NEW YORK BY

A VOTE OF 33 FOR DESTROYING

SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT AND 29

AGAINST.

THE VOTE WAS IN DOUBT RIGHT UP

UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE.

AS OF THURSDAY, THE STATE

SENATE WAS DEAD LOCKED 31-31.

MARRIAGE RIGHTS SUPPORTERS HAD

TO FIND AT LEAST ONE MORE

REPUBLICAN TO FLIP.

AND THEN UP STEPPED MARK

GRISANTI, STATE SENATOR FROM

BUFFALO, WHO HAD RUN ON A

PLATFORM OF BANNING GAY

MARRIAGE.

HERE'S WHAT HE HAD TO SAY.

>> AS A CATHOLIC I WAS RAISED

TO BELIEVE THAT MARRIAGE IS

BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.

>> Jon: SO WE'LL MOVE ON FROM

THERE.

MAYBE THEY'LL FIND A VOTE FROM

SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T APPEAR TO

BE ON ELLIOTT NESS'S ENEMY

LIST.

>> I CANNOT LEGALLY COME UP

WITH AN ARGUMENT AGAINST SAME

SEX MARRIAGE.

WHO AM I TO SAY THAT SOMEONE

DOES NOT HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS

THAT I HAVE WITH MY WIFE WHO I

LOVE OR TO HAVE THE 1300-PLUS

RIGHTS THAT I SHARE WITH HER?

I VOTE IN THE AFFIRMATIVE,

MR. PRESIDENT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M SO IMPRESSED.

IN HONOR OF THIS MAN, IN HONOR

OF THIS GREAT MAN, I WILL NO

LONGER DO MY OFFENSIVE ITALIAN

NEW YORKER VOICE.

FOR AS LONG AS... BECAUSE IT'S

NOT OFTEN YOU SEE THIS SON OF

A B... THE COURAGE THAT THIS

MOTHER (BEEP), THE GIANT

(BEEP) HANGING OVER THIS MAN

LIKE BOCCE BALLS ON A SUMMER

AFTERNOON.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S VERY HARD NOT TO DO THE

VOICE.

IT'S A VERY FUN VOICE.

SO WITH SUPPORT OF GRISANTI

AND HIS FELLOW REPUBLICAN

STEVEN SALAN GAY MARRIAGE

PASSED AND OF COURSE YOU KNOW

WITH THAT MEANS.

>> THE CITY ESTIMATES THE NEW

LAW WILL BRING MORE THAN $180

MILLION TO THE STATE IN THE

NEXT THREE YEARS.

>> Jon: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

ALL RIGHT.

ALSO CASHING IN THE PERFECT

TIME TO ROLL OUT MY NEW JON

STEWART BRAND TUXEDOS.

ALL THE ELEGANCE OF A TUXEDO

BUT WITH THE FLATTERING

PHYSIQUE.

>> (CAT YOWLING).

>> Jon: INDEED.

FRAY FRY'S DECISION BRINGS THE

TOTAL NUMBER OF STATES

PERMITTING GAY MARRIAGE TO 7.

41 OTHER STATES STILL HAVE

LAWS ON THE BOOKS EXPLICITLY

BANNING SAME SEX MARRIAGE.

IT'S WHY MANY GAY ACTIVISTS

ARE LOOKING FOR FEDERAL ACTION

TO ACHIEVE NATIONAL MARRIAGE

EQUALITY.

LAST THURSDAY BARACK OBAMA

ADDRESSED THAT VERY QUESTION.

>> I HAVE LONG BELIEVED THAT

THE SO-CALLED DEFENSE OF

MARRIAGE ACT OUGHT TO BE

REPEALED.

>> Jon: HEAR, HEAR, YEAH!

I ASSUME THE PRESIDENT'S

PROBLEM WITH THE DEFENSE OF

MARRIAGE ACT IS THAT IT SHOULD

BE A FEDERAL LAW IN SUPPORT OF

GAY MARRIAGE.

>> PART OF THE REASON THAT

DOMA DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IS

THAT TRADITIONALLY MARRIAGE

HAS BEEN DECIDED BY THE

STATES.

(AUDIENCE GROANING).

>> Jon: REALLY?

THE GENTLEMAN WITH MIXED RACE

PARENTS PLAYING THE STATES NO

BEST CARD.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS BORN...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WHEN I WAS BORN MY PARENTS'

MARRIAGE WOULD HAVE BEEN

ILLEGAL IN FLORIDA AND

VIRGINIA.

SO

OF COURSE THE IMPLICATIONS OF

LEGALIZING GAY MARRIAGE CAN BE

HARD TO FULLY UNDERSTAND

UNLESS PERHAPS YOU HAVE A

CORRESPONDENT WHO WAS IN

MUSICAL THEATER.

WE SENT OUR OWN JOSH GAD FROM

THE BOOK OF MORMON OUT TO MAKE

SENSE OF THIS LANDMARK

LEGISLATION.

>> Reporter: THE LEGALIZATION

OF GAY MARRIAGE MEANS ONE

THING.

SUPER BOWL HERO DAVID TIREE.

>> THIS WILL BE THE BEGINNING

OF OUR COUNTRY SLIDING TOWARD,

YOU KNOW, IT'S A STRONG WORD

BUT ANARCHY.

>> Reporter: NOW EVERYONE FROM

AL BANY TO ROCHESTER WILL HAVE

TO DEAL WITH WHAT PEOPLE HERE

IN THIS CITY HAVE LONG HAD TO

ACCEPT AS PART OF THEIR DAILY

LIVES.

TRAFFIC SNARLS.

SAILORS GONE AWOL.

>> IT'S LIKE AN AVERAGE DAY IN

THE GAY COMMUNITY.

ISN'T SNIT.

>> NO.

THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY

THAT WE HAVE.

>> Reporter: SIR, MAY I ASK

YOU A QUICK QUESTION.

HOW IS THIS NOT LIKE THE

APOCALYPSE?

>> THIS IS A (BEEP) PARADE,

DUDE.

>> Reporter: IT REMINDS ME A

BIT OF THAT PASSAGE FROM

REVELATION.

I SAW A HORSE AND ITS RIDER

WAS WEARING A JOCK STRAP AND

HELL FOLLOWED.

>> I DON'T READ THE BIBLE.

>> Reporter: IT'S IN THERE,

PAGE 42.

>> WHAT KIND OF PARADE IS IN

STORE FOR TOMORROW?

>> I DON'T THINK ANY OTHER

PARADE BECAUSE WE HAVE PRIDE

ONLY ONCE A YEAR.

>> Reporter: YOU'RE SAYING

THIS IS THE PARADE BUT IN

REALITY THE ST. PATRICK'S DAY

PARADE IS A VERY ACCURATE

PORTRAYAL OF HOW IRISH PEOPLE

BEHAVE EVERYDAY.

>> I WOULDN'T SAY THAT AT ALL.

>> Reporter: I WOULD.

>> BECAUSE SOME OF THE PEOPLE

WHO ARE OUT MAKING A MESS ON

ST. PATRICK'S AREN'T EVEN

IRISH.

>> Reporter: BUT IRISH PEOPLE

ARE ALWAYS GETTING DRUNK AND

VOMITING AND INSIDE SUBWAY

STATIONS.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK, UPSTATE.

NORMAL RESPECTABLE PEOPLE LIKE

THIS WILL HAVE NOWHERE TO

TURN.

ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE

REPERCUSSIONS OF GAY MARRIAGE?

>> YEAH, I'M ONE OF THOSE

PEOPLE.

>> Reporter: ARE YOU GAY?

>> I'M GAY.

>> Reporter: I FISH WITH GUYS

LIKE YOU.

>> THANKS.

WE LOOK LIKE OTHER PEOPLE.

>> Reporter: AMAZING.

YOU'RE NOT GAY.

>> THEY'RE GAY AND I'M GAY.

>> Reporter: REALLY?

DAVID TIREE.

DAVID, TIREE SUPER BOWL HERO

BRAVELY SHOWING HIS FACE AT

GAY PRIDE PARADE.

UNBELIEVE AL.

IT'S BECOME CLEAR TO ME THAT

YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY DAVID

TIREE.

EVEN THOUGH I WAS ON BROADWAY

ONCE THEY FOUND OUT I WAS A....

>> I LOVED YOU IN THE BOOK OF

MORMON.

TOO BAD YOU DIDN'T WIN.

>> Reporter: ARE YOU FROM THE

BOOK OF MORMON?

OH, MY GOD.

>> Reporter: ALL RIGHT.

I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE FUN

(BEEP) YOURSELVES.

IT BECAME CLEAR THAT NO ONE,

NOT EVEN THIS INTREPID

REPORTER, WAS IMMUNE FROM

THEIR TAKEOVER.

>> I THINK THAT NEW YORK IS A

PART OF THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.

NEW YORK IS GOING TO STILL BE

NEW YORK.

JUST A PART OF EVERYTHING

ELSE.

>> Reporter: REALLY?

>> YES.

>> Reporter: THEN HOW DID THIS

HAPPEN?

THREE MINUTES AGO I WAS

WEARING A SUIT.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I EVEN GOT

IN THESE.

>> GOOD LUCK, BUFFALO.

YOU'LL NEED IT.

>> Jon: ANARCHY.

LET ME TELL YOU THIS.

THE MARRIAGE EQUALITY ACT

PASSING IN NEW YORK WASN'T THE

ONLY BIT OF GOOD NEWS HERE

THIS WEEKEND.

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

>> UP NEXT, SETTING THE RECORD

STRAIGHT ABOUT OUR INTERVIEW

LAST WEEK WITH JON STEWART.

>> Jon: YES!

FINALLY.

( APPLAUSE )

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING

ON.

I DO AN INTERVIEW WITH CHRIS

WALLACE.

I MENTIONED FOX NEWS VIEWERS

WERE THE MOST CONSISTENTLY

MISINFORMED VIEWERS IN EVERY

POLL.

POLITIFACT SAID I SHOULDN'T

HAVE SAID EVERY POLL.

JUST MOST.

I BROUGHT UP A 21 LIE SALUTE

OF POLITIFACT SPOT FACT

CHECKING SO I ASSUME THAT

CHRIS WALLACE NOW BEGINS THE

WORK OF APOLOGIZING FOR FOX'S

MANY FALSE AND MISLEADING

STATEMENTS.

PROBABLY DO A BLOOPER SHOW AND

CARRY US INTO THE 2014 MIDTERM

S WITH A CLEAR CONSCIOUS.

>> DO YOU BELIEVE THAT FOX

NEWS IS EXACTLY THE

IDEOLOGICAL EQUIVALENT... OF

NBC NEWS.

>> I THINK WE'RE THE

COUNTERWEIGHT.

I THINK THEY HAVE A LIBERAL

AGENDA.

I THINK WE TELL THE OTHER SIDE

OF THE STORY.

JON SEEMED TO THINK THAT WAS A

BIG DEAL THAT I SAID WE TELL

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY.

I WISH I HAD SAID THE FULL

STORY.

HERE'S WHAT I MEANT.

>> Jon: WAIT.

THAT WAS A BIG DEAL THAT YOU

SAID THAT.

THAT'S YOUR SETTING THE RECORD

STRAIGHT?

I ACCIDENTALLY TOLD THE TRUTH

AND WISH I COULD TAKE IT BACK?

YOU'RE NOT THE...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THAT'S CRAZY.

HOW ARE YOU NOT THE

COUNTERWEIGHT?

>> LET ME GIVE YOU A CLASSIC

EXAMPLE OF WHAT FAIR AND

BALANCED MEANS TO ME.

AFTER HURRICANE KATRINA, THE

MAINSTREAM MEDIA PILED ON FEMA

FOR ITS FAILURE TO RESPOND TO

THE CRISIS.

AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT DID

A LOUSY JOB.

BUT IT WAS FOX NEWS THAT

STARTED REPORTING ON THE

FAILURE OF THE FIRST

RESPONDERS, THE CITY OF NEW

ORLEANS AND THE STATE OF

LOUISIANA TO HELP PEOPLE.

YES, WE REPORTED FEMA'S

PROBLEMS BUT WE ALSO TOLD THE

OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY.

>> Jon: THAT'S YOUR EXAMPLE?

YOU HAD A WEEK TO PREPARE AN

EXAMPLE AND YOU CAME UP WITH

IN 2005 EVERYONE WAS (BEEP) ON

THE REPUBLICANS AND WE MADE

SURE THEY UNDERSTOOD THAT

LOCAL LOUISIANA DEMOCRATS

(BEEP) TOO.

I MEAN, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY

IN YOUR WEEK OF DIGGING FOR

THAT, DID YOU FIND IT ON

THURSDAY OR FRIDAY OR WAS IT

BROADCAST NEWS WHERE JOAN

SPRINTED IN DURING THE SHOW

COUNTDOWN, "I FOUND ONE."

HERE'S WHAT I'LL DO.

I'LL FIND SOMETHING.

HERE'S WHAT I'LL DO.

I'LL FIND SOMETHING MAYBE MORE

FROM THE RECENT PAST THAT I

THINK TELLS THE FULLER STORY.

IT'S NOT CRAZY.

MOTHER SAYS I'M CRAZY TO HAVE

THESE BOOKS BUT I DON'T THINK

IT'S CRAZY.

I THINK IT'S SMART TO HAVE

THESE BOOKS.

HERE'S ONE.

HERE'S ONE.

BRETT BEAR'S SHOW.

THAT'S ON THE NEWS SIDE.

THEY WERE REPORTING ON THE

CRAZY ATF OPERATION THAT

ALLOWED MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS

TO PURCHASE AUTOMATIC WEAPONS

INTO AMERICA AND SELL THEM

BACK TO MEXICO.

>> SOME SAY IT WAS INNOCENT.

OTHERS BELIEVE IT WAS ALLOWED

TO HAPPEN TO JUSTIFY TOUGHER

GUN LAWS IN THE U.S.

>> Jon: DID YOU SEE THAT?

HE JUST THREW IT RIGHT IN

THERE.

PRESIDENT OBAMA IS EITHER

INCOMPETENT MAKING AN INNOCENT

MISTAKE OR THE ARCHITECT OF AN

EVIL CONSPIRACY TO WREAK

VIOLENT CARNAGE IN MEXICO AS A

WAY TO TAKE AWAY AMERICA'S

GUNS.

YOU KNOW, BOTH SIDES OF THE

STORY.

WHO SAID THAT NERK AMERICA WAS

INVOLVED IN THIS TYPE OF

CONSPIRACY THAT, IF TRUE,

COULD OPENLY LEAD TO THE

IMPEACHMENT OF A PRESIDENT?

WHO SAID IT?

>> OTHERS.

>> Jon: OF COURSE CHRIS

WALLACE'S MAIN CLAIM TO

CREDIBILITY WAS THIS.

>> AS WE SHOWED TODAY WE DON'T

GO EASY ON REPUBLICANS.

>> Jon: THAT AT LEAST FOR ONE

HOUR OF FOX'S 168 HOURS OF

PROGRAMMING A WEEK, REALLY,

IT'S THREE HOURS BECAUSE IT'S

REPEATED TWICE.

MOTHER SAID IT'S CRAZY TO

WATCH IT LIKE THAT BUT I DON'T

THINK IT'S CRAZY.

I THINK WATCHING IT AT 2:00

AND 6:00 WHEN IT'S REPEATED IS

ACTUALLY THE RIGHT WAY TO DO

IT.

I WONDER.

I WONDER.

I WONDER IF THE FACT THAT I

MAKE FUN OF DEMOCRATS WOULD

THEN BE PROOF THAT I'M NOT

BIASED.

>> AM I AN ACTIVIST IN YOUR

MIND.

>> YEAH.

>> THEN I DISAGREE WITH YOU.

I ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE WITH YOU

THAT THAT'S THE CASE.

I DON'T THINK....

>> I THINK YOU TAKE SHOTS AT...

ALTHOUGH I THINK IT'S TO

MAINTAIN CREDIBILITY AND

YOU'RE NOT AS COMFORTABLE WITH

IT.

YOU TAKE SHOTS AT OBAMA AND AT

THE LIBERALS.

YOU LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF

CONSERVATIVES.

>> Jon: DO YOU SEE THE GAME?

I MAKE FUN OF CONSERVATIVES OR

REPUBLICANS BECAUSE I'M A

LIBERAL PARTISAN IDEOLOGUE.

I MAKE FUN OF LIBERALS OR

DEMOCRATS BECAUSE I WANT AS

PART OF MY BRILLIANT YET

CYNICAL STRATEGY TO MAINTAIN

ENOUGH CREDIBILITY TO CONTINUE

MAKING FUN OF CONSERVATIVES

AND REPUBLICANS.

AND THAT NARRATIVE OF

CONSERVATIVE VICTIMIZATION IS

THE TRUE GENIUS OF WHAT FOX

NEWS HAS ACCOMPLISHED.

ANY EDITORIAL JUDGMENT IN NEWS

OR SCHOOLS OR MOVIES THAT

DOESN'T FAVOR THE CONSERVATIVE

VIEW IS ELITISM AND IS

EVIDENCE OF LIBERAL BIAS.

WHEREAS ANY EDITORIAL JUDGMENT

THAT FAVORS THE CONSERVATIVE

VIEW IS EVIDENCE OF MERELY OF

FAIRNESS AND DONE TO PROTECT

THEM FROM LIBERAL BIAS.

AND IF YOU CRITICIZE FOX FOR

THIS GAME, GUESS WHAT THAT IS

EVIDENCE OF?

HOW RIGHT THEY ARE ABOUT HOW

PERSECUTED.

IT IS AIRTIGHTER THAN AN

OTTER'S ANUS.

DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THAT.

THEY CAN'T LOSE.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THIS WHOLE

VICTIM THING MAKES FOX?

PERHAPS THIS TERM A FRIEND OF

MINE USED ONCE TO DESCRIBE OUR

CURRENT PRESIDENTIAL

ADMINISTRATION IS MOST APT.

>> THEY ARE THE BIGGEST BUNCH

OF CRY BABIES I HAVE DEALT

WITH IN MY 0 YEARS IN

WASHINGTON.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT.

>> THIS ISN'T WORKING.

I'M SORRY.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK I CAN MAKE OUT OUR

LITTLE FRIEND RIGHT THERE.

>> CAN WE STOP DOING THIS

THING HERE?

>> WHY?

>> BECAUSE YOU'RE THE

GIRLFRIEND.

>> SHE'S NOT JUST MY

GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE.

WE'RE ENGAGED NOW.

>> WHAT?

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE

SHOW JENNIFER ANISTON.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: VERY NICE TO SEE YOU.

>> VERY NICE TO SEE YOU.

>> Jon: WHAT'S HAPPENING?

>> AS ALWAYS.

NOTHING.

I'M JUST SORT OF STROLLING

AROUND NEW YORK CITY.

>> Jon: PROMOTING SOME MOVIES.

>> SELL AGO MOVIE.

>> Jon: PEOPLE ARE SAYING YOUR

CHARACTER IS A LITTLE MORE

RAUNCHY, A LITTLE HARDER EDGE,

A BIT OF A DEPARTURE.

CLEARLY THEY DID NOT SEE

MARLEE AND ME.

>> ESPECIALLY ON THE....

>> Jon: BECAUSE YOU IN

THAT....

>> IT WAS CRAZY.

>> Jon: VICIOUS.

>> THERE WAS A LOT OF EDITING

ROOM FLOOR THAT THEY COULD NOT

PUT IN.

>> Jon: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

>> RAUNCHY.

>> Jon: IN THIS THING, IT'S

ABOUT A DENTIST THAT IS

SEXUALLY HARASSING HER

EMPLOYEES.

IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT OF YOUR

EMPLOYEES, IS THAT FROWNED

UPON NOW BECAUSE....

>> WHY?

>> Jon: I ALSO HAVE ONE OF

THOSE DENTIST SQUIRTERS IN MY

OFFICE.

WHENEVER ANYBODY COMES IN.

>> MALE OR FEMALE?

>> Jon: IT REALLY IS JUST

JEWISH OR CHRISTIAN.

SEE WHICH IS WHICH.

>> THAT'S INTERESTING.

WHAT OTHER DENT MANY TOOLS DO

YOU HAVE.

>> Jon: CAN I TELL YOU

SOMETHING, I AM STILL AT THIS

AGE NOT A BIG FAN OF GOING TO

THE DENTIST.

>> NOBODY IS.

>> Jon: THEY'VE GOTTEN MUCH

BETTER.

MY KIDS DON'T HAVE THE SAME

HANG-UP ABOUT IT AS I DO.

>> SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING

DIFFERENTLY THESE DAYS.

>> Jon: DO YOU THINK THEY'RE

BANGING WHILE MY KIDS ARE OUT?

THAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING I'VE

EVER HEARD.

JUST OPENING UP A HIGHLIGHTS

MAGAZINE AND GOING TO TOWN.

>> MY DENTIST PLAYS THE GUITAR

FOR ME WHEN I'M... WHEN I HAVE

LIKE MOLDS IN MY MOUTH.

LITERALLY WHILE SOMETHING IS...

I MEAN IT'S ODD.

BUT IT'S THE TRUTH.

>> Jon: WHY DOESN'T HE DO LIKE

DENTAL (BEEP) WHILE YOU'RE...

WHY IS HE PLAYING....

>> DON'T ASK.

IT'S HOLLYWOOD.

>> Jon: HE PUTS ALL THAT STUFF

IN YOUR MOUTH AND GOES, YOU

KNOW, I HAVE A NEW CD?

>> I'M NOT KIDDING.

HE PLAYS... AND YOU CAN'T GET

OUT OF THE CHAIR SO YOU'RE

SORT OF STUCK LISTENING TO IT.

NOT THAT IT'S NOT GOOD OR

ANYTHING BY THE WAY.

>> Jon: THE IMPORTANT

THING....

>> LOVELY.

>> Jon: INFLAME YOUR DENTIST

THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN THE

CHAIR.

IS HE PLAYING DENTIST MUSIC

LIKE A CERTAIN....

>> HE'S PLAYING MUSIC HE'S

LEARNED.

HE LITERALLY LEARNED TO PLAY

THE GUITAR LIKE SEVEN YEARS

AGO WHICH I'VE BEEN GOING TO

HIM FOR 15 YEARS.

IT'S QUITE IMPRESSIVE.

HE'S REALLY GOOD.

>> Jon: SO ONE DAY... AND I

HATE TO STICK TO THIS BUT ONE

DAY HE SAID JENNIFER I HAVE A

SURPRISE FOR YOU.

>> YES.

>> Jon: AND HE PULLED OUT A

GUITAR.

WERE YOU NERVOUS THAT HE WAS

ABOUT TO PROPOSE?

DID YOU THINK, GUITAR?

>> NO, I DIDN'T THINK THAT

BECAUSE THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF

PICTURES OF THE FAMILY UP ON

THE WALL AND ALL OF THEIR

TEETH.

>> Jon: HOW IS A DENTIST KIDS'

TEETH?

>> GORGEOUS.

>> Jon: WOULD HAVE TO BE.

DO YOU THINK... AGAIN I DON'T

WANT TO DISRESPECT THIS GUY.

DO YOU THINK IT'S HIS REAL

FAMILY?

BECAUSE JUST LOOKING AT IT

FROM A PURELY FROM A BUSINESS

PERSPECTIVE, LET'S SAY THESE

ARE SOME PEOPLE WITH SOME

TRULY (BEEP) DENTAL WORK.

HE CAN'T PUT THEM UP.

I MEAN, I'M NOT IN ANY WAY

SUGGESTING....

>> ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU

THINK MY DENTIST IS SORT OF

CORRUPT?

KIND OF?

>> Jon: SOMEHOW FIGURED OUT

THAT HE'S USING DENTAL WORK AS

A STEPPING STONE TO A MUSIC

CAREER.

>> IT'S A HOBBY.

I DON'T THINK HE'S... HE'S

NOT... THERE'S NO MUSIC....

>> Jon: I LIKE TO DO

WOODWORKING.

>> YOU DO.

>> Jon: I LIKE TO DO

WOODWORKING.

>> YOU WHITTLE?

>> Jon: I WHITTLE.

IS THAT WHAT THE KIDS ARE

CALLING IT THESE DAYS?

>> THAT'S WHAT I USED TO CALL

IT.

>> Jon: LET'S SAY, JENNIFER,

HOLD ON A SECOND AND I GOT

LET'S SAY A TABLE SAW AND I

JUST STARTED MOIKING YOU A

CABINET.

>> I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE

THAT.

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE?

>> YES.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW I MADE MY

CHILDREN'S CHANGING TABLE.

>> YOU DID.

>> Jon: I FIGURED AT THAT AGE

THEY'RE NOT GOING TO REMEMBER

THE SPLINTERS.

>> NO.

>> Jon: BUT I DID MAKE IT.

IT WAS QUITE GOOD.

>> I BET IT WAS.

>> Jon: VERY KIND OF YOU TO

SAY THAT.

IT'S A VERY FUNNY MOVIE.

IT'S IN THE THEATERS ON JULY

8.

>> JULY 8.

>> Jon: IT'S GOING TO BE

APPARENTLY HUGE.

>> LET'S HOPE.

VERY FUNNY MOVIE.

>> Jon: IT IS A VERY FUNNY

MOVIE AND YOU'RE VERY FUNNY IN

IT.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: YOU'RE WELCOME.

NOW I'D LIKE TO PLAY YOUR

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT I

BELIEVE AT 11:00.

LUIS C.K.WILL BE IN THE STUDIO

WITH US.

UNFORTUNATELY YOU PEOPLE WILL

NOT.

HERE IT IS YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> FOUND A PLACE TO COOL OFF.

>> SURFING THE SEAL RIVER.

CHECK THAT OUT.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING

LIKE THAT?

>> NEW YORK CITY PLANS TO FEED

GEESE TO THE HOMELESS.

THE CITY WILL ACTUALLY SEND

THE BIRDS CAPTURED AROUND ITS

AIRPORTS TO PENNSYLVANIA TO

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