September 28, 2010 - Arianna Huffington

  • Episode: 15123
  • (0)

John Oliver sells West Bank timeshares, and Arianna Huffington offers rides to the rally in D.C.

>> Jon: HI, EVERYBODY,

WELCOME --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

-GUEST TONIGHT A PROFESSOR OF

STUDIES AT VASSAR, NO SHE'S THE

HEAD OF THE HUFFINGTON POST.

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON WILL BE

JOINING US TONIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

CAME IN FROM L.A. WITH A POSSE.

SHE'S GOT A POSSE OF 800 PEOPLE

THERE.

THEY FLEW IN FROM L.A.

THEY OWE ME ONE.

LOOK AT THIS.

>> A RECORD BREAKER IN L.A. NOT

JUST FOR TODAY'S HIGH

TEMPERATURE BUT THE ALL-TIME

TEMPERATURE PERIOD.

A FEW MINUTES AFTERNOON TODAY IT

HAD ALREADY CLIMBED TO 113

DEGREES.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: WOW.

FINALLY A REASON TO NOT WANT TO

LIVE IN L.A.

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN IT'S NORMALLY SUCH AN

APPEALING PLACE.

[LAUGHTER]

GOOD PEOPLE, STABLE GROUNDS.

[LAUGHTER]

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE NEW

[LAUGHTER]

WE TURN NOW TO THE MIDDLE EAST,

THE WORLD'S TOP REGIONAL

EXPORTER OF DEPRESSING NEWS

STORIES.

IN THE LAST THREE WEEKS IT

SEEMED THAT THAT WAS ABOUT TO

CHANGE.

>> ANOTHER FRESH START FOR

MIDDLE EAST PEACE TALKS.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR AND

A HALF ISRAELIS AND PALESTINIANS

RESUMING DIRECT PEACE

NEGOTIATIONS.

THERE'S RENEWED HOPE AND

OPTIMISM.

>> Jon: RENEWED HOPE AND

OPTIMISM.

PEACE IN THE HOLY LAND.

HASEL TOF.

-- MAZEL TA *EUS -- TOV.

HIT IT!

SO EXCITING.

IT'S LIKE A BAR MITZVAH, SO SO MUCH

POSSIBLE AND THEN THE

PROFESSIONAL DANCERS HELP THE

YOUNG 13-YEAR-OLD MEET GIRLS.

THAT'S EXCITING.

THE ONLY THING THAT COULD BLOW

THIS NEW FOUND HOPE IS IF ISRAEL

DOESN'T EXTEND THE FREEZE --

>> ISRAEL HAS REASSUMED

SETTLEMENT CONSTRUCTION IN THE

WEST BANK.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: HIT IT.

THAT'S NOT QUITE RIGHT.

IT'S SAD BUT I'M LOOKING FOR

SADDER JEWISH MUSIC IF I COULD.

♪ LF ON THE ROCKS ♪

♪ LOVE ON THE ROCKS ♪

♪ ♪

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: NEIL DIAMOND.

HE'S LIKE HE'S SINGING TO ME.

HOPE SURVIVED IN THE MIDDLE EAST

FOR THREE WEEKS.

IT WOULD BE SAD EXCEPT THAT'S

THE LONGEST HOPE HAS EVER

SURVIVED IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

THERE'S PLANS FOR A NEW JEWISH

HOLIDAY HOPE-ACOST.

THEY THOUGHT THERE WAS HOPE FOR

THREE DAYS BUT THE HOPE LASTED

SEVEN TIMES THAT LONG BEFORE

RUNNING OUT.

THAT'S WHY FOR THREE WEEKS EVERY

FALL NO JEW EATS VIDALIA ONIONS.

A DEVASTATING THREAT TO A

PROMISING PEACE PROCESS.

THEY HAVE TO BE WALKING ON EGG

SHELLS.

THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE GOOD.

ALTHOUGH THERE ARE 2,000 HOMES

READY TO BE BUILT, THE ISRAELIS

RESTRAINED THEMSELVES TO ONLY

BUILDING 26 NEW HOMES WONDERFUL

THAT BE ENOUGH TO PREVENT THE

PALESTINIANS FROM WALKING AWAY

FROM THE NEGOTIATION TABLE.

>> WE HEARD FROM THE PALESTINIAN

PRESIDENT MAHMOUD ABBAS AND HE

SAID NEXT WEEK HE WILL FIND OUT

WHAT THE ARAB COUNTRIES THINK HE

SHOULD DO.

>> Jon: THE ARAB LEAGUE.

THAT'S A TOUGH LEAGUE.

SAUDI ARABIA DOING WELL.

LEBANON HOPING FOR A WILDCARD

SPOT.

FOR GOD SAKES, THE METS RE

BOTTOM OF ARAB LEAGUE AS WELL?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THAT CAN'T BE!

IT'S JUST EMBARRASSING.

THE METS CAN'T EVEN DO WELL IN

THE ARAB LEAGUE.

THOSE COUNTRIES DON'T EVEN PLAY

BASEBALL.

[LAUGHTER]

FOR MORE ON THE RENEWED

CONSTRUCTION WE GO TO "THE DAILY

SHOW" SENIOR MIDDLE EAST

CORRESPONDENT JOHN OLIVER.

JOHN OLIVER JOINS US LIVE FROM

THE WEST BANK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

JOHN, DO YOU -- DO YOU SEE ANY

HOPE FOR A SOLUTION HERE?

>> JON, I THINK IT'S OBVIOUS.

THE COURT HAS TEMPORARILY

EXTENDED THE MORATORIUM ON

BUILDING.

CLEARLY WE JUST NEED TO INVENT

MORE JEWISH HOLIDAYS.

>> Jon: THEY ARE BASED ON

THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF TRADITION.

YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE UP NEW ONES.

>> REALLY?

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> WATCH ME.

BAGEL MANIA.

THREE DAYS AT THE END OF

SEPTEMBER.

FRAN DRESHER'S BIRTHDAY.

THAT'S A BIG ONE, SEPTEMBER 30

AND THE ENTIRE MONTH MANY OF

OCCTOBER.

THREE STRIKES OFF THE TOP OF MY

HEAD.

>> Jon: NOBODY IS -- OKAY.

IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT SOME JEWS

OBJECT TO YOU CHANGING THEIR

CALENDAR.

>> NO PROBLEM, JON.

SINCE THE ISRAELISEN

PALESTINIANS ARE HAVING TROUBLE

DIVIDING THE LAND WHAT IF THEY

BOTH HAVE IT BUT AT DIFFERENT

TIMES OF THE YEAR.

50% OF THE TIME FOR ONE, 50% FOR

THE OTHER, 100% PERFECT

SOLUTION.

>> Jon: THAT'S -- THAT'S --

THAT WOULD END UP CAUSING

PROBLEMS.

I DON'T THINK IT WOULD

SATISFY --

>> IT'S FLEXIBLE.

THEY CAN SWAP OUT VACATION WEEKS

IF WORK SCHEDULES CHANGE.

IT'S EASY.

>> Jon: YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE

A TIMESHARE.

>> YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A

TIMESHARE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FRACTIONAL

OWNERSHIP OPPORTUNITY THAT THE

MIDDLE EAST HAS BEEN WAITING

FOR.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU ARE -- YOU ARE

CENTURY 21 GUY NOW.

IS THAT IT?

>> CENTURY 21, NOW CENTURY 58.

THINK ABOUT IT.

WHY WOULD EITHER SIDE ATTACK THE

OTHER'S HOUSE IF THEY KNEW THEY

WERE GOING TO BE LIVING IN IT A

FEW MONTH'S TIME?

DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

>> Jon: DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE

WHATSOEVER, JOHN.

>> WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO PUT

YOU IN A DISPUTED TERRITORY

TODAY?

>> Jon: I HAVE A HOUSE, JON.

>> YOU HAVE A HOUSE IN JERSEY.

>> Jon: THAT'S NOT FAIR.

>> THERE'S A CHANCE NOAH IS BURR

TKPWHREUD YOUR BACKYARD?

>> Jon: BON JOVI'S BATTING

SKAEUG A TWO MINUTE DRIVE.

>> THEY WANT TO YOU HAVE THIS

UNIT.

THIS IS THE PROMISE CONDO.

I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND PUT

YOU DOWN FOR THREE UNITS, OKAY.

>> Jon: I DON'T WANT THREE

UNITS.

>> YOU ARE KILLING ME STEWART.

I HAVEN'T RUNNING THE BELL ALL

WEEK.

I HAVE KIDS TO FEED.

>> Jon: YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS.

>> DO YOU WANT ME TO DANCE FOR

YOU? I'LL DANCE, JON.

IT'S A VERY NICE AREA, VERY NICE

AREA.

WHY DON'T YOU COME LIVE HERE,

HEY!

>> Jon: HAVE SOME DIGNITY.

>> GET READY TO RING THAT BELL,

MURRAY, I'M BRINGING ONE IN.

>>

YOU KNOW, OUR NATURAL RESOURCES

MUST BE CARED FOR OR TREASURES.

IF WE DON'T DO THAT, SOME OF

THEM COULD DISAPPEAR IN THIN

AIR.

AASIF MANDVI FILED THIS REPORT.

>> OUR INSATIABLE SUPPLY OF OIL

HAS PUSHED US TO THE BRINK.

BUT WE'VE LOT SIGHT OF A GREATER

CRISIS.

>> WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF HELIUM.

>> THE HELIUM MAY RUN OUT?

>> IT WILL RUN OUT, YES AND WHEN

IT'S GONE, IT'S GONE.

>> WAIT A MINUTE, THE HELIUM IS

RUNNING OUT?

>> THAT'S CORRECT.

>> WHAT?

ARRRRGH!

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF HELIUM.

OH, MY GOD, HELP US.

THE HELIUM IS RUNNING OUT.

THE HELIUM.

THE HELIUM, OH, MY GOD.

THE HELIUM!

TAKE ME TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

WAIT A SECOND, WHY DO WE CARE

ABOUT HELIUM?

>> HELIUM IS USED FOR MAGNETS,

CRYOGENICS,S, PARTICLE

ACCELERATORS, MRIS IN THE

HOSPITAL, PARTY BALLOONS.

>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT THERE WOULD

BE NO MORE PARTY BALLOONS?

>> THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING.

>> DEAR GOD!

NOOOO OH, MY GOD NO MORE PARTY

BALLOONS.

NO MORE PARTY BALLOONS.

AND THIS LOOMING CAN A FIDEL

CASTRO IF I WILL -- CATASTROPHE

WILL DEVASTATE ONE OF OUR MOST

VITAL INJURIES.

OKAY SEND IN THE CLOWNS.

[LAUGHTER]

GOOD HOW WOULD THE HELIUM CRISIS

EFFECT BIRTHDAY PARTIES?

>> YOUR BUSINESS WILL BE

DESTROYED.

>> I HAVE A LOT OF OTHER CRAP I

DO.

>> WHAT OTHER CRAP DO YOU DO?

>> A LITTLE BIT OF MIMES,

CLOWNING.

I MIGHT DO MAGIC TRICKS.

>> MAGIC TRICKS?

>> LOOK AT THIS RIGHT HERE.

TAKE THIS.

>> WHAT IS THAT?

>> IT'S AN ILLUSION.

IT'S A JOKE.

>> PORNOGRAPHIC.

STOP DOING THAT.

>> IT'S A LITTLE JOKE.

>> BELIEVE ME DON'T DO THAT AT A

BIRTHDAY PARTY.

WHAT ISN'T A JOKE IS THAT OUR

HELIUM SUPPLY IS RUNNING OUT.

IF SCIENTISTS LIKE THESE CAN'T

FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE MORE,

SOMEONE HRELS HAVE TO.

DON'T DO THAT!

>> THE MOST ABUNDANT ELEMENT IN

THE UNIVERSE IS?

>> HYDROGEN.

>> WHICH IS REPRESENTED BY H.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ADD AN E

TO HYDROGEN AND YOU HAVE HELIUM.

>> THAT DOESN'T WORK.

>> I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND

IT.

>> I UNDERSTAND IT.

>> YOU DO?

>> BUT YOU DON'T.

WHAT YOU ARE PROPOSING IS

AGAINST THE LAWS OF NATURE.

>> RIGHT, LET'S BE OUTLAWS.

[LAUGHTER]

IF SCIENCE WON'T LISTEN TO

REASON, IT WILL MEAN SAYING

GOODBYE TO SOMETHING EVERYBODY

LOVES.

>> I JUST WANTED TO -- WONDERED

WHEN A BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH

CHILDREN WOULD LOOK BHIEK --

LOOK LIKE WITHOUT HELIUM

BALLOONS.

>> THAT WON'T BE MY DEPARTMENT

ANYWAY.

IT'S DECORATORS.

I DON'T I HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST

HELIUM BALLOONS I DON'T

PERSONALLY USE THEM.

>> ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT THE

WORD IS NOT AS HAPPY A PLACE

WITHOUT HELIUM BALLOONS.

IS THAT (bleep) BALLOON BEHIND

ME AGAIN?

>> I THINK YOU ARE ANGRY.

>> (bleep) YOU CLOWN.

>> (bleep) YOU.

>> SORRY, (bleep) YOU.

>> OH, YEAH, LOOK AT THIS.

(bleep) YOU.

>> YEAH, YEAH, OH, OH, I GOT A

GIFT FOR YOU.

LET ME TURN IT UP.

(bleep) YOU.

>> I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT ONE

AGAIN.

(bleep) YOU.

>> SOMETHING IS CALLING THEY

SAID (bleep) YOU.

>> (bleep) WHO THE (bleep)

ARE YOU ANYWAY?

>> (bleep) YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> I THINK THIS EXPERIENCE VIEW

WENT PRETTY WELL.

>> NOT BAD.

>> SO WHO DO WE HAVE TO THANK

FOR ALL THIS?

THE CLOWNS IN CONGRESS WHO

MANDATES WE SELL-OFF THE ENTIRE

HELIUM RESERVE BY 2015 LEAVING

FUTURE GENERATIONS TO PAY THE

PRICE.

>> THE COST OF HELIUM IS GOING

TO GO UP DRAMATICALLY.

YOUR PARTY BLOOPS MIGHT COST

$1,000.

>> HUH?

SUDDENLY I STARTED TO SEE THIS

PROBLEM IN A WHOLE NEW LIGHT.

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT THE

ECONOMY, I HAVE TWO WORDS FOR

YOU: HELIUM.

CALL HELIUM LINES TO TALK TO ONE

OF OUR EXPERT ACCOUNT

EXECUTIVES.

PRAY ON IT, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT

AND THEN GIVE HELIUM LINE A

CALL.

DIAL THE NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN

NOW TO REQUEST YOUR FREE

INVESTOR KITT.

>> HELIUM IT'S ONE INVESTMENT

THAT

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT A COFOUNDER OF

HUFFINGTON POST.

HER BOOK IS CALLED "THIRD WORLD

AMERICA" PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO

THE PROGRAM ARIANNA HUFFINGTON.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>>>> Jon: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

>> NICE TO SEE YOU.

>> Jon: CONGRATULATIONS.

>> WE'RE READY TO MARCH.

>> Jon: --

>> WE'RE MARCHING OCTOBER 30.

>> Jon: HOW ARE YOU GETTING

THERE?

>> A BUS.

IF THERE'S ANYBODY HERE WHO

NEEDS TO GET THERE.

>> Jon: THAT GUY.

WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?

>> MASSACHUSETTS.

>> Jon: FOR REAL?

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET TO

WASHINGTON FROM MANHATTAN.

>> COMING TO 560 BROADWAY IN

SOHO THE BUS WILL BE THERE,

WE'LL TAKE YOU WITH US.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: IS THAT TRUE?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHEN ARE YOU LEAVE SOMETHING IN

SATURDAY --

>> WE HAVE MANY BUSES -- WE HAVE

AS MANY BUSES AS THERE ARE

PEOPLE TO FILL THEM.

THAT'S OUR PROMISE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: LET ME SAY THIS: SHE

WILL HAVE AS MANY BUSES AS IS

NECESSARY AND THEN ANYBODY ELSE,

I'LL TAKE CARE OF.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.

DO YOU KNOW -- YOU UNDERSTAND

THE WAY THAT THE WEB WORKS.

WE'RE TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE THAT

ARE COMING FROM DIFFERENT

LOCATIONS GET DOWN HERE BUT

WE'RE A LITTLE BIT CLUELESS IN

TERMS OF -- I'M FROM THE OLD

SCHOOL.

I'M -- I THOUGHT PEOPLE

CARPOOLED.

BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND, HOW

WOULD THEY MEET UP.

IS THERE A LINK ON YOUR WEB

SITE, ON CRAIGSLIST.

>> YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU WORK ON THE MESSAGE.

I'LL WORK ON LOGISTICS.

>> Jon: WHY WOULD I GIVE A

MASSAGE?

YOU WILL BE ONE OF POINT PEOPLE

FOR LOGISTICS.

>> EXACTLY.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THIRD WORLD

AMERICA.

I'M THEY'RE SETTLE BOOK!

>> Jon: YOU BROUGHT IT UP.

"THIRD WORLD AMERICA" THIS IS

WHAT I THOUGHT WAS INTERESTING.

THE HEART OF THE BOOK IS YOU

CAN'T DO ANYTHING UNLESS WE

REFORM THE WAY THAT WE PAY FOR

ELECTIONS.

>> RIGHT, BUT, BUT IF YOU GO TO

PAGE 199 IN SECTION 5 IT WILL

GIVE YOU SEVEN STEPS -- SEVEN

STEPS -- HE DIDN'T GET AS FAR AS

199.

IT WILL GIVE YOU SEVEN STEPS OF

WHAT YOU CAN DO BETWEEN MARCHS.

MARCHS ARE GREAT.

WE'RE GOING TO MARCH.

WE NEED SOMETHING DEEPER, MORE

SUSTAINED, LONGER.

>> Jon: I DON'T THINK YOU'VE

READ THIS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> COME ON, JON.

>> Jon: PAGE 199 IS ABOUT THE

PREAMBLE OF THE CONSTITUTION,

NO?

>> THAT'S WHERE IT STARTS.

IT SAYS LOOK AT THE LEADER IN

THE MIRROR.

THE LEADER IN THE MIRROR.

DON'T JUST WAIT FOR POLITICIANS

TO GO TO WASHINGTON AND SOLVE

THE PROBLEMS.

IT'S UP TO US IN BETWEEN MARCHS

TO TAKE STEPS LIKE "THE DAILY

SHOW", THE DAILY STEPS.

THE DAILY STEPS, YOU KNOW?

>> Jon: WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY

SHOW SEEM LIKE ALCOHOLICS

ANONYMOUS.

THE DAILY STEPS AND GOD GRANT ME

THE SERENITY.

HERE IS THE POINT: WHAT CAN

PEOPLE DO IN MONEY IN POLITICS?

HOW DO WE REFORM THE ELECTORAL

SYSTEM IN TERMS OF WAY IT'S

FINANCES.

THEIR WHOLE LIVES ARE ABOUT

RAISING MONEY.

THEY ARE BEHOLDEN TO THE

INTERESTS.

HOW DO YOU GET AWAY FROM THAT?

>> I'M PROPOSING THE PUBLIC FNGS

OF CAMPAIGNS.

OTHERWISE THERE'S 26 LOBBIES FOR

EVERY ELECTED OFFICIAL AND

OTHERS EVERY DAY.

WHILE WE'RE CAMPAIGNING FOR THAT

WE CAN TAKE STEPS TO REBUILD THE

COMMUNITIES RIGHT NOW.

THERE ARE PEOPLE ALL OVER

AMERICA.

AS I WENT AROUND RESEARCHING THE

BOOK.

I'M STUNNED BY THE THINGS THAT

PEOPLE DO.

>> Jon: IN A GOOD WAY OR --?

AVERAGE I GOOD WAY.

LIKE UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE CREATING

A SITE LIKE WHO HAS TIME TO HELP

HELPING EACH OTHER.

>> Jon: IT'S AN AMAZING SITE.

PEOPLE UNEMPLOYED ARE

VOLUNTEERING FOR THINGS.

VERY EXCITING.

>> I HAVE EXAMPLES OF UNEMPLOYED

LAWYERS COMING TOGETHER HELPING

PEOPLE PREVENT FORECLOSURES.

WE CAN TAKE THIS LEGITIMATE

ANGER OF HOW WE'RE SCREWED UP BY

WALL STREET AND POLITICIANS AND

CHANNEL IT TO THE TEA PARTY AND

DEMONIZING EACH OTHER.

>> Jon: THAT'S NOT FIRE THEM.

THERE ARE PEOPLE WITHIN THAT

MOVEMENT -- BUT THEY ARE TRYING

TO COME UP WITH SOLUTIONS.

YOU MAY NOT AGREE.

>> WE CAN TAKE THAT ANGER AND

REBUILD THE COMMUNITY.

>> Jon: WE SHOULD INCLUDE TEA

PARTY WELCOME.

EVERYBODY WELCOME.

TEA, COFFEE ANY BEVERAGE, JUICE.

>> IF THE TEA PARTY PEOPLE WANT

TO COME ON THE BUS WITH US TO

WASHINGTON FOR THE RALLY.

>> Jon: THEY ARE TEA PARTY

PEOPLE WE'RE HUFF PO PEOPLE.

CAN'T WE ALL --

>> GET ALONG?

>> Jon: THAT CAN'T HAPPEN.

WE'RE NOT ENEMIES WE'RE WORKING

TOWARDS THE SAME GOAL, I WOULD

THINK, WE MAY COME AT IT FROM

DIFFERENT THINGS.

THE MORE WE GET ENTRENCHED IN

THE IDEOLOGY OF IT, THE LESS

WE'RE ABLE TO SOLVE THINGS, YES?

>> I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THAT.

REBUILDING THE COMMUNITIES AND

HELPING EACH OTHER IS BEYOND

IDEOLOGY AND LEFT AND RIGHT.

THE IMPORTANT THING FOR ALL THE

YOUNG PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU WE

HAVE TO KEEP IT UP BETWEEN

MARCHS AND ELECTIONS.

WE CAN'T JUST VOTE AND EXPECT

EVERYTHING TO CHANGE.

WHAT ARE WE DOING IN BETWEEN.

>> Jon: THE IDEA OF TWO

WORKING HOUSEHOLDS TRYING TO

RAISE CHILDREN, WHEN ARE THOSE

FOLKS GOING HAVE TIME THEN TO BE

ACTIVISTS OR TO WORK WITHIN THE

COMMUNITIES?

ISN'T JUST LEADING A STABLE

DECENT LIFE IN SOME WAYS A

POLITICAL STATEMENT?

>> IT IS NORMALLY BUT NOT NOW.

>> WE'RE AT THE TURNING POINT.

WE'RE IN DANGER OF BECOMING

THIRD WORLD AMERICA.

WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY.

THIS SORT OF AMERICAN DREAM THAT

I BOUGHT INTO AS AN IMMIGRANT IS

NOT REAL ANYMORE FOR MILLIONS OF

AMERICANS.

AWKWARD MOBILITY HAS BECOME

DOWNWARD MOBILITY.

WE'RE TENTH IN UPWARD MOBILITY

BEHIND FRANCE AND GERMANY.

>> Jon: ONCE WE HIT ROCK

BOTTOM THINK OF THE POSSIBILITY.

ISN'T THAT WHAT WE'RE DOING?

IT'S A SIMPLE CORRECTION?

YONCH WANT TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

I WANT US TO CORRECT RIGHT NOW

STARTING ON OCTOBER 30 WITH THE

MARCH TO WASHINGTON.

>> Jon: WHAT?

>> AND GOING ON WITH THE SEVEN

STEPS TO RENEW AMERICA.

>> Jon: THAT WAS (bleep)

AMAZING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAID.

WHATEVER THAT WAS.

"THIRD WORLD AMERICA" IS ON THE

BOOKSHELVES NOW.

GET O

>> Jon: WHERE WE GO WITH CHECK

WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.

>> Stephen: JON, MY FRIEND IN

THE SPIRIT OF FRIENDSHIP AND

GOOD FEELINGS, I WOULD LIKE TO

EXTEND YOU A PERSONAL INVITATION

TO MY KEEP FEAR ALIVE MARCH ON

OCTOBER 30 AT THE WASHINGTON

MALL.

>> Jon: THAT'S VERY KIND OF

YOU.

>> Stephen: WOO!

WOOO!

>> Jon: I'M VERY SCARED RM

IT'S A KIND GESTURE MY FRIEND.

I'M ACTUALLY BUSY THAT DAY.

I HAVE SOMETHING SCHEDULED.

>> Stephen: YOU BUSY, JON,

IT'S NEVER PRE PRETTY WHEN AN

OLD MAID PLAYS HARD TO GET.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW I'LL BE

HOSTING MY RALLY TO RESTORE

SANITY THAT DAY SAME TIME!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND,

JON.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

JON, JON -- YOU DON'T WANT TO --

DON'T -- YOU DON'T WANT TO GO

THOIP HIP WITH ME.

I HAVE HIPS THAT COULD DROP A

LITTER OF TWINS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU ARE SERIOUS?

>> Stephen: AS A HEART ATTACK,

BUDDY.

>> Jon: YOUR MARCH IS A

COUNTER DEMONSTRATION TO MY

MARCH.

>> Stephen: YOUR RALLY SAY

COUNTER COUNTER DEMONSTRATION OF

MY COUNTER.

>> Jon: I'M NOT SURE THAT MADE

SENSE.

>> Stephen: IT'S NOT SUPPOSED

TO, JON.

>> Jon: THANK YOU, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> Jon: YOU'RE WELCOME, TOO.

HERE IT IS YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> DID CBS USE TEEN

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