August 14, 2012 - Misty May-Treanor

  • Episode: 17140
  • (0)

Mitt Romney campaigns with vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan, John Hodgman shares his love of "Twilight," and Misty May-Treanor reflects on her Olympic legend.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HEY, WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW." MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, OH, THIS IS A TREAT.

OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST MISTY MAY-TREANOR HERE TO TALK ABOUT HER RECENT TABLOID BREAKUP WITH

LET'S SAY SOMEONE FROM "THE HUNGER GAMES." ANYWAY, THERE WAS A GREAT DEAL

OF INTEREST ONLINE WITH ROBERT PATTINSON BECAUSE OF THAT WHOLE THING AND KRISTEN STEWART.

OUR RATINGS IN THE KEY DEMOGRAPHIC THAT ADVERTISERS USE TO SELECT THEIR KILL LIST...

(LAUGHTER).

I'M SORRY "PREFERRED CUSTOMERS." WAS TO USE THEIR TERMINOLOGY BOFFA.

IT MADE ME REALIZE THAT I HAD AFTER SEEING THE RATINGS FOR THE PAST ALMOST 15 YEARS BEEN

FOCUSED ON DOING A PROGRAM ABOUT SUBJECTS THAT ARE... LET ME JUST SHOW YOU THE TWEETS FROM THE FIRST...

(LAUGHTER).

FROM THE FIRST 15 MINUTES OF LAST NIGHT'S SHOW.

SON OF A BITCH.

(LAUGHTER) TOTES LAME.

HASHTAG MEH.

(LAUGHTER) ANYWAY, JOIN ME NOW FOR D.E.M.

LOCK LIPS, 2012, WAIT, DO LEAVE,

HERE'S A PICTURE OF TAYLOR LAUTNER EDITION.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) TO THE ELECTION!

I WILL MAKE THIS WORK!

TWO MEN BATTLE IN THIS ELECTION.

ONE OF THEM BELONGING TO A VERY OLD, VERY PALE CLAN OF ANCIENT BLOOD SUCKERS.

(LAUGHTER) THE OTHER A WILD YOUNG AND DIVERSE FERAL GROUP OF INCOHERENT PEOPLE.

(LAUGHTER) BOTH COMPETING FOR SOMETHING ONLY ONE OF THEM CAN POSSESS.

A FOUR-YEAR CONSTITUTIONALLY MANDATED TERM HEADING OUR NATION'S EXECUTIVE BRANCH.

(LAUGHTER) I MEAN THE LOVE OF AN UNDERAGED WOMAN NAMED AMERICA.

(LAUGHTER) ONE OF THE MEN, THE VAMPIRE...

(LAUGHTER).

... HAS CHOSEN... WHAT IS THE VAMPIRE EQUIVALENT OF A VICE PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE.

GODDAMNIT!

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PAUL RYAN!

HE'S GOT THE REPUBLICAN BASE ALL FIRED UP.

AND IN HIS FIRST SPEECH AS THE V.P. NOMINEE ON SATURDAY HE MADE IT CLEAR HE IS HERE TO FIX WHAT

AILS US.

>> HIGHER UNEMPLOYMENT,

DECLINING INCOMES AND CRUSHING DEBT IS NOT A NEW NORMAL.

IT IS THE RESULT OF MISGUIDED POLICIES.

>> Jon: (LAUGHS) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HE HAS MISGUIDED...

(LAUGHTER).

ANYWAY, WHAT PAUL RYAN IS SAYING IS THAT WE ARE TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT AND THAT IS DUE

TO WHAT HE IS SAYING ARE THE MISGUIDED POLICIES OF WE ARE TO ASSUME BARACK OBAMA.

SO LET'S LOOK AT HOW WE WENT FROM A 1990s SURPLUS TO THIS ENORMOUS PUBLICLY HELD DEBT.

LET'S SEE, $1.7 TRILLION OF THE DEBT COMES FROM THE BUSH TAX CUTS.

TWO FOREIGN WARS.

THAT AIN'T CHEAP.

MEDICARE D PLAN, THAT WAS NEW ENTITLEMENT SPENDING.

THERE WAS SOME EXTRA DEFENSE SPENDING THAT WAS IN THERE.

MORE TAX CUTS.

THERE WAS THE TARP BANK BAILOUT.

THAT'S A LOT OF DEBT.

I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF AN IRRESPONSIBLE LUNATIC WOULD VOTE FOR EVERY ONE OF THESE MISGUIDED

FISCAL TIME BOMBS?

I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.

HIS NAME BEGINS WITH PAUL RYAN AND ENDS WITH SILENCE!

(CHEERS AND

WELL, THAT WAS WONKY BUT I'M BEGINNING TO THINK PAUL RYAN'S

PAST POSITIONS DON'T REALLY HOLD UP TO THE LIGHT OF DAY.

MUCH LIKE EDWARD CULLEN.

(LAUGHTER) AND ACTUAL LIGHT OF DAY.

(LAUGHS)

>> ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH,

JON.

>> Jon: HUH?

JOHN HODGMAN, WHAT ARE COW DOING HERE?

>> I'M SENDING THIS SICK CHARADE YOUR FEEBLE AND CRAVEN ATTEMPT

AT CO-OPTING ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MOVIES IN MODERN SEXY FANTASY LITERATURE.

(LAUGHTER) ALSO KNOWN AS HORROROTICA.

>> Jon:ER WHO...

>> NO, HORROR... THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

THE POINT IS VAMPIRES AREN'T YOUR STUFFY OLD WORLD I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD ROMANIAN

ARISTOCRACY TYPES TO WHO EVAPORATE IN DAYLIGHT.

NO, THEY'RE YOUNG AND SEXY AND SHIRTLESS.

AND WHEN THE SUNLIGHT HITS THEM THEY SPARKLE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I SEE.

I GUESS WHEN IT RAINS...

>> WELL, WHEN IT RAINS THEY PLAY BASEBALL, OBVIOUSLY.

THEY'RE VAMPIRES.

SERIOUSLY, THEY PLAY BASEBALL IN THUNDERSTORMS FOR THEIR MIGHTY BACK CRACKS WOULD OTHERWISE

ATTRACT UNWANTED ATTENTION OF TOWNSFOLK.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE DUMBEST...

>> NO, NO, JON, JON!

YOUR DEMO IS LISTENING, JON.

AFTER ALL, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE SHOW GROWING UP?

>> "BANANA SPLIT."

>> SORRY, WHAT?

WHAT?

>> "BANANA SPLITS."

>> "BANANA SPLITS" YES.

FOUR PSYCHOTIC FOURRIES WHO LIVED IN A PSYCHEDELIC CLUBHOUS

>> Jon: POINT TAKEN.

ANY WAY, THE SPENDING PAUL RYAN WAS THE OLD PAUL RYAN.

HE APPEARED TO HAVE AN EPIPHANY ABOUT SPENDING SOME TIME AROUND WHEN THE DEMOCRATS TOOK OVER THE

BUDGET AND IS NOW AN IDEA MAN.

>> WE HAVE HEARD A GROWING NUMBER OF COMPARISONS BETWEEN MR. RYAN AND FORMER PRESIDENT

RONALD REAGAN.

>> PAUL RYAN HAS BEEN THE ONE WHO'S LED THE CHARGE ON ENTITLEMENT REFORM.

>> PROBABLY THE SMARTEST PERSON I KNOW IN POLITICS.

>> HE'S ACTUALLY DONE THE INTELLECTUAL WORK, THE RIGOROUS WORK OF PUTTING DETAILED

PROPOSALS ON THE TABLE.

>> PAUL RYAN HAS BECOME AN INTELLECTUAL LIEDER OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.

>> Jon: IN FACT, I, MITT ROMNEY, AMEERLY A WELL-CHISELED

DELIVERY SYSTEM FOR OUR NATION'S REAL FUTURE LEADER.

I AM THE FLAVORLESS GEL CAP SURROUNDING THE BITTER FISCAL MEDICINE WE SO DESPERATELY NEED

TO SURVIVE A FLAVORLESS HUNK.

THEY'RE... OH.

(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT, SO WHEN DO WE START IMPLEMENTING RYAN'S GENIUS PLANS

LIKE DEFUNDING MEDICAID AND CONVERTING IT INTO BLOCK GRANTS AND HE HAD ONE PLAN FOR

PRIVATIZING SOCIAL SECURITY A WHILE BACK AND TRANSFORMING MEDICARE INTO JUST A VOUCHER

SYSTEM WHILE REDUCING THE TAX BURDEN ON OUR NATION'S OVERBURDENED SUPERRICH ALLOWING

THEM TO SOAR LIKE VAMPIRES THAT CAN'T ACTUALLY FLY BUT ARE SO STRONG THAT WHEN THEY JUMP IT

LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE (BLEEP)ING FLYING!

SO I GUESS THAT'S WHAT...

(LAUGHTER).

>> NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

>> Jon: FINALLY, WITH THE SELECTION OF PAUL RYAN THE REPUBLICANS WILL BE PUTTING

THEIR MONEY WHERE THEIR MOUTHS ARE PHILOSOPHICALLY.

RIGHT, EVERY REPUBLICAN WHO'S EVER BEEN ASKED ABOUT RYAN'S

SOMEWHAT AUSTERE PLANS OVER THE LAST 72 HOURS?

>> I THINK THAT MITT ROMNEY APPRECIATES AND ADMIRES THE WORK AND THE IDEAS THAT PAUL RYAN HAS DONE.

BUT MITT ROMNEY HAS HIS OWN PLAN.

>> GOVERNOR ROMNEY HAS SAID HE'S GOING TO HAVE HIS OWN PLAN AND DOES HAVE HIS OWN PLAN.

>> IT SOUNDS AWFULLY LIKE THE PAUL RYAN MEDICARE PLAN!

>> BUT IT'S VERY DIFFERENT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: BUT DON'T GO THERE,

SOLEDAD.

WHERE DID YOU GET THE BALLS,

LIBERAL MEDIA, TO SUGGEST MITT ROMNEY'S MEDICARE PLAN IS IN ANY

WAY SIMILAR TO RYAN'S PLAN FOR MEDICARE?

>> MY PLAN FOR MEDICARE IS VERY SIMILAR TO HIS PLAN FOR MEDICARE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: THAT GUY IS TOTALLY IN THE TANK FOR OBAMA!

(APPLAUSE) WAIT.

I'M SURE GOVERNOR ROMNEY CAN CLEAR UP THIS CONFUSION.

>> I'M SURE THERE ARE PLACES THAT MY BUDGET IS DIFFERENT THAN

HIS, BUT WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.

THE ITEMS THAT WE AGREE ON I THINK OUTWEIGH ANY DIFFERENCES THERE MAY BE.

WE HAVEN'T GONE THROUGH PIECE BY PIECE.

>> Jon: BASICALLY WHAT HE'S SAYING IS THE BUDGET PLANS FOR THE TWO OF THEM ARE VERY

DIFFERENT BUT REALLY MOSTLY THE SAME ALTHOUGH WE REALLY HAVEN'T COMPARED THEM YET.

(LAUGHTER) THIS CAMPAIGN IS MORE CONFUSING ABOUT A MOVIE WITH A VAMPIRE INN

LOVE WITH A NON-VAMPIRE GIRL WHOSE OTHER BOYFRIEND IS A WARE WOLF AND ISN'T AS MUCH INTO HER

BUT INTO HER BABY RENEZMAY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> OH, YOU CYNIC.

"TWILIGHT" IS LIKE THIS CAMPAIGN BECAUSE IT REQUIRES YOU TO FREE

YOUR SPIRIT AND HAVE A BLATANT AND UTTER DISREGARD FOR LOGIC.

"TWILIGHT" IS LIKE FOX NEWS.

IT'S NOT MEANT FOR YOUR MIND.

YOU WATCH IT WITH YOUR HEART.

(LAUGHTER) AND YOUR GUT.

JON, YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE DEAD INSIDE NOT TO SEE THAT.

>> Jon: WOULD I?

MWAHAHA!

(LAUGHS)

>> JON!

BITE ME IS!

BITE ME!

>> Jon: IT WAS JUST A STUPID EFFECT.

>> NO, BITE ME, I SAY.

I WANT TO LIVE FOREVER, BITE ME!

>> Jon: JOHN HODGMAN,

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.

NOW THAT CHICK FLAY HAS PROVED THAT WEARING YOUR BELIEFS ON YOUR CORPORATE SLEEVE CAN SEND

YOUR SALES THROUGH THE ROOF WE NOW EXPECT OTHERS TO TAKE OUT OTHER IDEOLOGICAL TERRITORY.

>> THE C.E.O. OF PAPA JOHN'S SAID "IN 2013 OUR BEST ESTIMATE

IS THAT THE OBAMACARE WILL COST ABOUT 11 TO 14 CENTS PER PIZZA."

>> Jon: WHAT THE... WHAT?

I'M GOING TO PAY AN EXTRA 11 TO 14 CENT SO THE GUY WHO MAKES MY PIZZA CAN GET ANTIBIOTICS TO

KEEP HIM FROM HANGING UP LUNG TISSUE ON TO MY PIZZA?

OUTRAGEOUS!

(AUDIENCE REACTS) SOMETHING TELLS ME I'M NOT ALONE.

>> IF YOU LIKE PIZZA GET READY TO COUGH UP MORE DOUGH.

>> WILL OBAMACARE MAKE YOUR PIZZA MORE EXPENSIVE?

>> YOU WILL SOON HAVE TO PAY MORE FOR YOUR PIZZA!

AND YOU HAVE PRESIDENT OBAMA TO THANK FOR THAT.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK WE CAN ABSORB THAT 11 TO 14 CENTS.

CONSIDERING YOU CAN'T TURN ON THE T.V. WITHOUT BEING OFFERED TWO PIZZAS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE

AND IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW CRAZY BREAD, A TWO LITER SODA AND A THIRD PIZZA MADE OUT OF OREOS.

(LAUGHTER) SEEMS TO BE THE CHEAPEST FOOD PRODUCT ON THE PLANET.

OF COURSE, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE 11 CENTS, IT'S ABOUT A LARGE HERB ISSUE.

>> OBAMACARE IS DRIVING THE PRICE OF PIZZA THROUGH YOUR ROOF.

SOCIALISM SURBGS!

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: UNDER SOCIALISM HEALTH CARE WOULD BE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE STATE AND NOT PRIVATE

BUSINESSES WHICH I'M SURE YOUR COLLEAGUE BOB BECKEL WHO IS A LIBERAL WILL POINT OUT TO YOU

EXCEPT THAT... COME ON, MAN!

SHUT THE LID!

THAT IS NOT RIGHT!

(LAUGHTER) YOU ARE HYPNOTIZING HIM!

THAT IS NOT FAIR!

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

THAT IS A SNEAKY ARGUMENT MOVE.

I GUESS THE REPUBLICANS HAVE MADE THEIR POINT.

WE MUST END OBAMACARE TO SAVE OUR PIZZA.

JUST ONE THING, I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY A STUPID QUESTION.

ARE THERE ANY OTHER FACTORS THAT COULD ALSO DRIVE UP THE COST OF PIZZA?

>> 64% OF THE U.S. IS NOW IN SOME FORM OF DROUGHT.

64%.

>> THERE'S FEAR THAT FOOD-- THINGS LIKE DAIRY, MEAT PRICES,

EVEN THE PRICE OF PIZZA COULD SKYROCKET.

>> Jon: OH, RIGHT, THIS SUMMER'S CROP-KILLING MILK SCORCHING DROUGHT OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.

COME TO THINK OF IT THAT MIGHT ALSO BE AFFECTING THE PRICE OF PIZZA.

NOT TO MENTION THE FUTURE OF THE PLANET BUT LET'S FOCUS ON THE PIZZA.

SUMMER'S ALMOST OVER.

THAT WILL SOLVE THE HEAT WAVE,

RIGHT?

>> THERE IS A CONNECTION TO THESE EXTREME WEATHER EVENTS THAT WE'VE BEEN SEEING.

>> THEY ARE, IN FACT, A PRODUCT OF GLOBAL WARMING.

>> Jon: WHAT DO YOU KNOW NASA SCIENTIST?

(LAUGHTER) THAT'S JUST A SCIENTIFIC FACT.

ONE THAT HAPPENS TO BE CONFIRMED BY A RECENT STUDY FUNDED BY CLIMATE-DENYING PETROCHEMICAL BILLIONAIRES.

SO AS UPSET AS THE RIGHT GOT OVER OBAMACARE'S EFFECT ON THEIR

PIZZA I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW WIGGED OUT THEY'LL BE ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING.

>> OUR GOVERNMENT SPENDING OVER $10.6 MILLION OF YOUR TAXES ON

CLIMATE RESEARCH TO INCREASE ALL THIS SPENDING ON COMBATING GLOBAL WARMING ON THE HUNCH IT'S

MAN MADE.

>> TRYING TO REDESIGN THE AMERICAN ECONOMY AS WELL AS FOREIGN POLICY ON THE BASIS OF A

THEORY THAT PROVED TO BE GROUNDED IN LITTLE MORE THAN HYSTERIA.

>> THIS IS SURPRISING.

I HAVEN'T HEARD ON THE OTHER CHANNELS THAT SOME OF THE GLACIERS ARE GETTING BIGGER BUT

THAT'S WHY PEOPLE WATCH FOX.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: YEAH, THAT'S WHY THEY WATCH FOX.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) BECAUSE IT'S SO MUCH EASIER THAN LITERALLY STICKING UP YOUR HEAD

UP YOUR OWN ASS TO SHUT OUT REALITY.

SO PIZZA COSTS MORE BUT IN RETURN EVEN GETS HEALTH INSURANCE, OUTRAGEOUS!

BUT IF IT COSTS MORE BECAUSE HUMAN ACTIVITY IS BURNING OUR PLANET TO AN UNINHABITABLE HUSK,

OH, WHAT THE (BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER) RIGHT?

WE'RE SCREWED, WE'RE

WELCOME BACK, MY GUEST TONIGHT,

SHE IS A THREE-TIME OLYMPIC GOLD EDALIST IN BEACH VOLLEYBALL,M TAKING HOME GOLD IN LONDON WITH

HER PARTNER CARRIE WALSH JENNINGS, PLEASE WELCOME TO THE PROGRAM MISTY MAY-TREANOR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WELCOME!

>> THANK YOU.

(CROWD CHANTING "U.S.A.")

>> IT DOESN'T GET OLD, BELIEVE ME.

I WISH I COULD BOTTLE THAT SOUND LIKE, ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO

OPEN MY CAN OF "U.S.A.!"

>> Jon: GETS YOU EXCITED.

FIRST THING I HAVE TO ASK YOU,

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ROBERT PATTINSON.

(LAUGHTER) (WHISPERING) PLAY ALONG, YOUNG PEOPLE ARE WATCHING.

>> I THOUGHT IT WAS "THE HUNGER GAMES." (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: WAIT, DID WE HAVE ARCHERS THERE.

DID WE HAVE CAT MISS THE ON THE BUS AT THE OLYMPICS?

>> NO, BUT I WATCH ARCHERY AND I LIVE IN LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA AND I ALWAYS GO BY THIS PARK

WITH ARCHERS AND I'M LIKE SO NOW I'M LIKE WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

I THINK I SHOULD TAKE UP ANOTHER SPORT.

SO I SHOULD GO ARCHERY BUT DRESS IN CHARACTER LIKE ROBIN HOOD.

SOMETHING... EVERY TIME I TAKE A LESSON, LIKE WHAT ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M KATNISS.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE, I THINK, IN THE CALIFORNIA LIFE-STYLE AND NEW YORK.

THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE A BOW AND ARROW IN A PARK...

(LAUGHTER).

>> RIGHT?

>> Jon: LIKE, THE IDEA THAT...

LIKE, WE'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE NERF FOOTBALLS IN NEW YORK.

>> YOU GET TICKETED ON THE BEACH NOW.

KIDS...

>> Jon: FOR SHOOTING ARROWS.

>> THROWING FOOTBALLS IN CALIFORNIA, KIDS DIG A HOLE YOU'RE GOING TO GET A TICKET.

>> Jon: I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THAT.

>> YEAH.

>> Jon: IT'S A NANNY STATE.

IT'S GOT TO BE UNACCEPTABLE.

LET ME ASK YOU THIS: THE WOMEN OF THE OLYMPICS, IF YOU JUST TOOK THE MEDALS THAT THE WOMEN

OF THE UNITED STATES WON IT WOULD BE THE THIRD LARGEST COUNTRY HAUL FOR THE ENTIRE THING.

THE WOMEN DROVE US TO VICTORY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HAVE YOU SEEN... THIS IS... THIS WAS YOUR FOURTH OLYMPICS.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE WOMEN GROW IN CONFIDENCE AND ABILITY?

WHAT DO YOU ATTRIBUTE THAT SUCCESS TO?

>> OH, MY GOSH.

I THINK... I MEAN OBVIOUSLY THERE'S TITLE 9 THAT HAPPENED.

I WOULDN'T BE DOING WHAT I AM UNLESS THE WOMEN BEFORE ME GAVE US THAT FOUNDATION.

BUT THE YOU LOOK, NO MATTER WHAT, SOCCER, VOLLEYBALL, SO MANY YOUNG KIDS ARE PLAYING.

IT'S JUST THE AMOUNT OF YOUNG KIDS THAT ARE OUT THERE PLAYING HAS GROWN TREMENDOUSLY AND THAT

SAYS A LOT.

BUT ALSO YOU SEE THE HARD WORK THAT EACH INDIVIDUAL ATHLETE ON THE FEMALE SIDE-- AND MALE

SIDE-- IS PUTTING INTO IT.

>> Jon: NO, NO, NO, I THINK THE FEMALE SIDE.

(LAUGHTER) FROM WHAT I SAW OF THE MALE SIDE IT WAS A LOT OF LIKE "WHAT TIME

DOES THE CLUB CLOSE?" (LAUGHTER) DID YOU SEE... THERE WAS ALWAYS

PICTURES OF LIKE "HERE'S THE BELGIAN CYCLIST.

HE JUST URINATED ON HIMSELF." THERE'S LIKE... THEY'RE CARRYING HIM INTO A CAB.

DO PEOPLE GO NUTS?

LIKE, THIS IS YOUR FOURTH OLYMPICS, BUT DID YOU NOTICE PSYCHOTIC DISPLAYS OF LIKE "MY

EVENT IS OVER, I'M GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING." (LAUGHTER)

>> IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT BECAUSE OUR VENUE IS USUALLY PRETTY FAR FROM THE

OLYMPIC VILLAGE SO WE ALWAYS STAY UP UNTIL OPENING CEREMONIES AND EVERYBODY'S CALM,

EVERYBODY'S TRAINING AND DOING THEIR THING AND THEN THE FUN OR THE CRAZINESS STARTS AFTER AND

WE'RE USUALLY AT A DIFFERENT VENUE.

BUT, YOU KNOW IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE I'M READING THROUGH A MAGAZINE AND IT WASN'T ABOUT THE ATHLETES.

IT WAS THE BODY ISSUE.

IT HAD THE ATHLETES THERE AND YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE THE HIGHLIGHT.

>> Jon: THE NAKED PICTURES.

>> EXACTLY.

YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE THE HIGHLIGHT, RIGHT.

>> Jon: WHAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT?

>> NO, IT WASN'T.

>> Jon: IT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT.

>> NO, IT WAS TALKING ABOUT THE INTERNATIONAL LOVE OF THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE.

>> Jon: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT THERE WERE WORDS ON THAT PAGE.

AND I...

(LAUGHTER).

I'M GOING TO GO BACK NOW AND I'M GOING TO LOOK AT THOSE, BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS FASCINATING.

(LAUGHTER)

>> AND I WAS LIKE COME ON,

REALLY.

AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT CONDOMS AND HOW THERE'S A SHORTAGE AND THEY HAVE TO GET

MORE AND STUFF.

>> Jon: THERE WAS A CONDOM SHORTAGE?

(LAUGHTER)

>> I GUESS SO.

>> Jon: IS THAT GLOBAL WARMING?

(LAUGHTER) YOU HAVE DECIDED ENOUGH.

WAS IT A... WAS THAT FOREMOST IN YOUR MIND WHEN YOU'RE STANDING

ON THE MEDAL STAND AND YOU'VE GOT THAT GOLD?

IS IT A FEELING OF RELIEF?

IS IT A FEELING OF REYET?

ARE YOU TEMPTED TO GO BACK?

I'M SURE IT'S COMPLEX.

YOU HAVE 30 SECOND.

(LAUGHTER)

>> WELL, I THINK I'M READY.

MY HUSBAND AND I WANT A FAMILY.

THAT'S OUR PRIORITY.

>> Jon: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I CAN GET YOU THAT?

(LAUGHTER)

>> WE PUT THAT ON HOLD SO I DON'T MIND THE CONDOM SHORTAGE.

(LAUGHTER) RIGHT?

>> Jon: THE ONE ATHLETE IN THE VILLAGE.

"YEAH, I'M OKAY." (LAUGHTER)

>> BUT, NO, FAMILY'S IMPORTANT AND I MADE THE CHOICE AND I SAID YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S TIME FOR ME TO DO OTHER THINGS.

I WANT TO BE A WIFE.

I WANT TO BE A MOM.

I'M WORKING ON SEVERAL DIFFERENT CAMPAIGNS.

>> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU... ARE YOU RUNNING FOR SOMETHING?

>> I COULD PROBABLY WIN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: I THINK YOU COULD.

I REALLY THINK YOU COULD.

U.S.A., THAT'S FOR SURE.

WHAT IS YOUR... I KNOW YOU HAVE ONE THING.

WE'LL GET TO THAT.

>> SO I'M CURRENTLY DOING A CAMPAIGN CALLED "DITCH THE DRIP."

>> Jon: (LAUGHS) SORRY?

(LAUGHTER)

>> DITCHTHEDRIP.COM.

IT'S ABOUT SEASONAL ALLERGIES AND I KNOW MANY PEOPLE SUFFER.

I'M A SUFFERER AND IT'S ABOUT GOING TO YOUR DOCTOR AND GETTING

IT TAKEN CARE OF BEFORE YOU GET WORSE.

>> Jon: ALLERGIES.

>> ALLERGY SEASON COMING AROUND AGAIN.

>> Jon: BECAUSE I WAS LIKE PLEASE DON'T MAKE THIS ABOUT GONORRHEA.

>> BUT ALSO I LOVE WORKING WITH KIDS AND IT'S ABOUT GETTING THAT

NEXT GENERATION, WHICH IS WHY THE FEMALE ATHLETES DID SO WELL.

IT'S ABOUT GETTING THE NEXT GENERATION...

>> Jon: PAYING IT FORWARD.

>> AND I LOVE SHARING MY KNOWLEDGE.

SO THAT'S... THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO.

>> Jon: IT'S WONDERFUL AND I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU, JUST THE

THRILLS AND THE EXCITEMENT YOU HAVE GIVEN AMERICANS LO THESE PAST FOUR OLYMPICS, WE WANT TO

THANK YOU.

YOU GUYS WERE AMAZING.

>> THANK YOU.

YOU WON'T SEE THE LAST OF ME.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: WONDERFULLY DONE.

MISTY MAY-TREANOR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW, JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT AT 11:00.

BRIAN WILLIAMS WILL BE HERE.

HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.

>> ROMNEY SAID IN THE FIRST HUNDRED DAYS HE'S GOING TO LET THE BIG BANKS WRITE THEIR OWN RULES.

UNCHAIN WALL STREET.

(BOOS)

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