February 16, 2011 - Brian Williams

  • Episode: 16023
  • (0)

President Obama releases his budget, and Brian Williams shows off his new glasses.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

DOING THE DOUGIE.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS BRIAN

WILLIAMS.

REALLY?

AGAIN?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I GUESS IT'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES,

IT WILL BE FINE.

[LAUGHTER]

EVERY NIGHT I HAVE A BIT OF A

ROUTINE.

I DRIVE HOME, KICK BACK, TURN ON

THE JEOPARDY AND SIT AND

COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW MUCH LONGER

IS IT BEFORE ENTERTAINMENT

TONIGHT COMES ON.

USUALLY ABOUT A HALF HOUR.

LAST NIGHT I TURN IT OP AND I

CAN'T BELIEVE, THEY ARE LETTING

COMPUTERS PLAY JEOPARDY NOW.

APPARENTLY THEY HAVE RUN OUT OF

QUALIFIED HUMAN CONTESTANTS FOR

JEOPARDY AND THE COMPUTER IS

CRUSHING IT.

>> WHAT IS LEPROSY.

>> WHO IS SIR CHRISTOPHER WREN,

WHO IS THE CHURCH LADY?

WHO IS ISAAC NEWTON, WHAT IS

GUITAR?

WHAT IS THE -- WHAT IS --

>> YOU ARE RIGHT AND WITH THAT

YOU MOVE TO $36,681.

A BIG, BIG LEAD.

>> HE WON $36,000.

OH, YEAH, SOMEONE IS GOING TO

GET REPWAOTD TONIGHT OR WHATEVER

IT IS COMPUTERS DO WHEN THEY WIN

A LOT OF MONEY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ANYWAY THAT GUY IS WATSON, THE

COMPUTER THERE IS THE LATEST IN

A LONGLINE OF SUPERCOMPUTERS

INVENTED TO MAKE HUMANS STOP

TAKE UP HOBBIES.

YOU KNOW WHAT, COMPUTERS?

YOU WANT TO THROW DOWN?

YOU WANT TO HAVE A GO?

IS THAT IT?

YOU BESTED US AT CHESS AND

WIDELY SYNDICATED QUIZ SHOWS.

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, ISN'T IT A

ONE-WAY STREET.

YOU THINK YOU CAN BE A BETTER

US?

MAYBE WE CAN BE A BETTER YOU?

MUST BE NICE TO BEAT US AT OUR

JOBS, TAKE OUR GAMES.

WHENEVER IS SOMETHING TO HEAVY

FOR YOU, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T

KNOW A THING DDOOOOOOO, I DON'T

KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T ASK ME.

YEAH, MUST BE NICE.

YEAH!

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU ARE A PERSON.

I'M A COMPUTER, HOW HARD CAN IT

BE?

I GOT GAMES.

I CAN PLAY GAMES.

WHERE IS MY BOWL OF BIRDS?

HERE IS MY BIRD.

YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME?

HUH?

THESE ARE BIRDS FROM MY OWN --

THESE ARE MY OWN BIRDS.

I'VE BEEN SWINGING BIRDS INTO

BUILDINGS SINCE WHERE YOU WERE

MEANWHILE, BACK IN WASHINGTON

PRESIDENT OBAMA RELEASED HIS

BUDGET FOR FISCAL YEAR 2012.

APPARENTLY IN PHONEBOOK FORM.

[LAUGHTER]

THE BUDGET CALL TOWARDS $3.7

TRILLION IN SPENDING WHICH IS, I

KNOW, A DIFFICULT NUMBER TO WRAP

YOUR HEADS AROUND.

PERHAPS THIS DEMONSTRATION WILL

IN NO WAY CLARIFY THINGS FOR

YOU.

>> WE GOT THE PENNIES AND

STACKED THEM UNTIL WE GOT THIS

BUDGET.

EACH ONE STACK OF THESE FIVE

PENNIES REPRESENTS $2 BILLION.

>> Jon: THAT DOESN'T HELP US

IN ANYWAY.

[LAUGHTER]

LET ME DO A QUICK IMPRESSION OF

YOU OF AN EMPLOYEE AT ABC WORLD

NEWS.

I WENT TO COLOMBIA UNIVERSITY --

COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY AND NOW I'M

STACKING PENNIES PENNIES TO MAKE A PIE

CHART.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

LET'S GET TO THE BUDGET.

$3.7 BILLION.

THE TRICK IS TO GET IT TO VASTLY

INCREASE THE DEFICIT WHILE

GIVING AMERICANS THE SHOTY

DEMOCRACY WE EXPECT OR ARE AT

LEAST NUMB TO.

>> SOME OF THE SAVINGS COME

THROUGH LESS WASTE AND MORE

EFFICIENCY.

WE'LL SPEND BILLIONS OF GETTING

RID OF 14,000 OFFICE BUILDINGS,

LOTS AND GOVERNMENT-OWNED

PROPERTIES WE NO LONGER NEED.

>> Jon: FROM NOW ON WHEN WE

BUY OFFICE SUPPLIES WE'LL JOIN

UP WITH CANADA AND MEXICO TO

LOOK FOR DEALS ON GROUPON.

[LAUGHTER]

THE BUDGET WOULD CUT SUCH

ENTITLEMENT STAPLES AS THE HOME

HEATING ASSISTANCE AND PELL

GRANTS.

MAYBE REPUBLICANS HAVE A

STRONGER PLAN FOR GETTING THE

DEFICIT UNDER CONTROL.

>> REPUBLICANS WANT TO TAKE OUT

PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

>> THE ELIMINATION OFMEN CORPS,

FOR EXAMPLE.

>> THE REPUBLICANS HAVE A NEW

TARGET PBS AND NPR.

>> Jon: AT LEAST WE AGREE THAT

THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THIS SPHES

TO EFFECT PROGRAMS OF PEOPLE

THAT VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS.

OBAMA WOULD SAVE $1.1 TRILLION.

JEFF SESSIONS, RANKING

REPUBLICAN ON THE SENATE BUDGET

COMMITTEE ALTHOUGH BEST KNOWN

FOR HIS 1996 COLLABORATION WITH

BOB DYLAN.

[LAUGHTER]

IT WILL BRING BACK (bleep)

PICTURE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT GUY HAS GOT TO BE PLEASED

WITH THE CUTS.

>> WHEN YOU HEAR THE $1.1

TRILLION IN SAVINGS OVER TEN

YEARS, WHAT IS YOUR TAKE?

IS THAT A GOOD START, SENATOR?

>> NO, IT'S NOT.

I EXPECT ACCORDING TO

PROJECTIONS $12 TRILLION TO $14

TRILLION IN NEW ADDED DURING

THAT TIME.

SO A $1 TRILLION REDUCTION IS

INSIGNIFICANT AND DOES NOT GET

US OFF TO THE RIGHT COURSE.

>> Jon: WOW HE SAID THE

TRILLION DOLLARS IN SAVINGS IS

INSIGNIFICANT.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE

REPUBLICAN PLAN TO SAVE THE

IDENTICAL AMOUNT OF MONEY OVER

THE SAME TIME.

>> $100 BILLION MEANS OVER TEN

YEARS YOU WOULD HAVE A $1

TRILLION SAVINGS.

THIS IS THE WAY YOU GET THE

BUDGET BALANCED:

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE YOU

GOING TO DO BUY A FORD?

IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.

IT'S A PIECE OF (bleep).

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS BUY ONE

OF I HAD FORD'S.

[LAUGHTER]

I CAN'T BELIEVE DYLAN DID AN

ALBUM WITH THAT GUY.

[LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S CLEAR THAT NONE OF YOU

GUYS, REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT,

HAVE TAKEN THIS SERIOUS.

I'M GOING TO DO IT MYSELF.

I'M GOING CHARLES TKPWROEDEN AND

DAVE ON YOUR ASS AND THAT IS MY

LAST REFERENCE TONIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT.

HOW BIG IS THE BUDGET?

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA'S BUDGET

PROPOSAL FOR THE NEXT FISCAL

YEAR CAME IN AT MORE THAN $3.7

TRILLION.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT $3.7 TRILLION.

WHAT IS THE DEFICIT?

>> THE DEFICIT $1.1 TRILLION.

>> Jon: OKAY $1.1 -- YOU KNOW

WHAT, HOLD ON?

YEAH, THAT'S BETTER.

SOMETIMES THEY NEED TO WARM UP.

[LAUGHTER]

WE'VE GOT $3.7 TRILLION UP FOR

GRABS.

88% OF THE BUDGET IS NOT

EFFECTED BY THESE CUTS.

THEY ARE ONLY FOCUSING ON THE

CUTS -- FOCUSING THE CUTS ON 12%

OF THE BUDGET.

>> Jon: WE CAN ONLY CUT FROM

12% OF THE BUDGET.

$12% IS $440 BILLION.

HERE IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO.

WE NEED TO GET $1.1 TRILLION OF

SPENDING CUTS OUT OF $440

BILLION.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I'M JUST GOING TO VERY

QUICKLY -- WATSON?

WA

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

AS WE JUST SAW -- SORRY.

AS WE JUST SAW BALANCING OUR

NATION'S BUDGET AS WELL AS

NUMEROUS PROPS SEEMS ALL BUT

IMPOSSIBLE.

[LAUGHTER]

FOR HELP FROM THAT WE TURN TO

"THE DAILY SHOW" RESIDENT

PROBLEM SOLVER JOHN HODGMAN AND

HIS SEGMENT "YOU'RE WELCOME."

♪ ♪

>> Jon: THANKS FOR JOINING US.

THIS WEEK THE WHITE HOUSE

RELEASED ITS BUDGET [BUZZER]

>> HANG ON ONE SECOND.

>> Jon: WHAT IS THAT?

>> WATSON THE JEOPARDY COMPUTER.

HE'S DOING MILLIONAIRE TONIGHT.

I'M HIS PHONE A FRIEND.

THIS WILL JUST TAKE A SECOND.

YES, I'M HERE WATSON.

>> HODGMAN, I NEED YOUR HELP.

>> JUST RELAX AND TELL ME THE

QUESTION.

>> QUEERY: WHICH ACTOR PLAYED

CAPTAIN STIEWBING ON LOVEBOAT.

LOGICAL MAN CANNOT LOVE BOAT.

EXTERMINATE.

>> NO EXTERMINATE, NO!

>> HODGE HODGMAN, YOU HAVE TO

GET ME OUT OF THIS LIKE LAST

TIME.

>> OKAY, OKAY.

[LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT.

I SEEM TO HAVE LOST HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: JOHN, CAN WE SPEED

THIS UP.

I HAVE TO BE AT THE ABC STUDIOS.

>> Jon: HO DO WE CUT THE

STPWHUGT.

>> START WITH PUT KUTS TO THE

PENTAGON.

>> Jon: PRESIDENT OBAMA

PROPOSED $80 BILLION IN CUTS TO

THE MILITARY.

YOU ARE SAYING THAT'S NOT

ENOUGH.

>> I'M TALKING ABOUT THE

BUILDING THE PENTAGON.

DO WE REALLY NEED A BUILDING

WITH FIVE SIDES?

[LAUGHTER]

IN THIS ECONOMY ISN'T THAT

EXTRAVAGANT.

>> Jon: YOU ARE SUGGESTING WEG

CHANGE THE PENTAGON TO A

RECTANGLE.

>> WHAT ARE WE PORTUGAL?

NO.

A RHOBUS THE MOST MENACING, OUR

ENEMIES MUST KNOW WE'RE SERIOUS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: CUTTING COST IS JUST

ONCE OUT OF EQUATION, JOHN.

THE GOVERNMENT HAS TO RAISE

REVENUE.

IF HE WE GOT RID OF BUSH TAX

CUTS FOR THE TOP 40% THAT'S $40

BILLION RIGHT THERE.

>> WE CANNOT RAISE TAXES.

HARD-WORKING PEOPLE IN THIS

COUNTRY GIVE ENOUGH OF THEIR

PAYCHECK TO THE GOVERNMENT.

AND FOR WHAT SO NASA CAN BUY A

TOILET SEAT FOR $10 MILLION.

WHEN I COMES TO SPENDING OUR

MONEY, I PUT MY TRUST IN THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE [CASH REGISTER]

>> Jon: WHAT IS THAT SOUND?

>> IT'S A KA-CHING, JON.

A TAX ON ANTITAX CLEE SHAYS.

WE CAN TAX THE BUMPER STICKERS

ABOUT TAXES.

YOU TRY ONE.

>> Jon: YOU CAN KEEP YOUR

HOPE, I'LL KEEP THE CHANGE

[CHA-CHING SOUND]

>> GOOD ONCE.

>> Jon: RONALD REAGAN --

[CHA-CHING] THAT'S ALL I HAD TO

SAY REAGAN?

>> YOU PROBABLY COULD HAVE GONE

IT WITH RONALD RE --

>> Jon: THAT FILLS THE

NATION'S COFFERS.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO?

LEGALIZE IT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

LEGALIZING MURDER.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A PRETTY HIP

CROWD, JON.

>> Jon: YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT

LEGALIZING MURDER?

>> MURDER.

ALL I'M SAYING IS LET'S PUT THE

FREE MARKET DARINNAN THEORIES TO

THE TEST.

LET THE WEAK PERSONNISH AND LET

THE STRONG TAKE THEIR WIVES SO

LONG AS THEY CAN PAY THE BIGAMY

TAX.

>> Jon: WHAT ABOUT SOCIAL

SECURITY AND MEDICARE?

>> THAT'S HALF OUR BUDGET RIGHT

THERE.

DEDICATED TO TAKING CARE OF THE

OLDIES AND SICKIES AT THE

EXPENSE OF THE YOUNGIES AND

SEXYIES LIKE US.

MORE LIKE US.

SORRY.

POINT IS, IT'S NOT FAIR.

>> Jon: YOU ARE SAYING GET RID

OF THE OLD AND INFIRMED, IS THAT

WHAT YOU'RE --

>> NO, NO, DON'T GET RID OF

THEM.

LET'S MAKE SOCIAL SECURITY FUN.

WE'LL MAKE IT A COMPETITION.

WINNER TAKE ALL.

>> Jon: YOU DON'T MEAN?

>> YES, JON, A GENTLEMAN'S

AGREEMENT IN WHICH THE LAST

LIVING PARTICIPANT COLLECTS ALL

OF THE SOCIAL SECURITY MONEY.

>> Jon: IF MURDER IS LEGAL

THAT INCENTIVIZES PEOPLE TO KILL

EACH OTHER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> SORRY, JON, WHAT WERE YOU

SAYING.

>> Jon: THAT INCENTIVIZES

PEOPLE TO KILL EACH OTHER TO WIN

THE POT.

>> DON'T BE SILLY, JON, DON'T BE

SILLY AT ALL P. COME HERE,

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT THE ANCHOR AND

MANAGING EDITOR OF NBC NIGHTLY

NEWS.

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE

PROGRAM BRIAN WILLIAMS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: WHAT IS UP?

>> NOT MUCH, MY FRIEND.

HOW ARE YOU?

>> Jon: I'M VERY WELL, THANK

YOU.

GOOD THAT YOU ARE BACK FROM

EGYPT SAFE AND SOUND.

THAT SEEMED LIKE -- WAS THAT THE

HAIRIEST SITUATION THAT YOU'VE

BEEN IN AS AN ANCHOR?

>> IT HAD ELEMENTS OF THE DAY

KATRINA WENT SOUR AND BECAME

DANGEROUS.

IT HAD ELEMENTS OF IRAQ AND

AFGHANISTAN.

WE PWRAULT NO BODY ARMOR.

WE BROUGHT SECURITY WITH US BUT

THEY WERE UNARMED BECAUSE THE

GUN LAWS, ODDLY, IN EGYPT ARE

STRICT.

I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH THE GUY

ON THE LEAD HORSE.

>> Jon: THE GUY WITH THE

WHIPS.

>> AFTER I SAW HIM THEY PULLED

OUT WHIPS AND STARTED BEATING

HUMAN BEINGS.

>> Jon: WHAT IS THE ARMY DOING

AT THAT POINT?

THE GUYS ARE COMING THROUGH WITH

HORSES AND WHIPS.

YOU HAVE TANKS THERE.

THEY ARE GOING LITERALLY

MEDIEVAL ON YOU.

>> THAT IS SOMETHING OF A

CANARD.

THE ARMY WAS NOT READY TO DO ANY

URBAN ENVIRONMENT FIRING.

THEY ARE ON TANKS AND ARMORED

PERSONNEL CARRIERS.

YOU DON'T WANT THEM DISCHARGING

WEAPONS IN THAT ENVIRONMENT AND

THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH OF THEM TO

SUPPRESS THIS.

>> Jon: THEY KNEW IT WAS

COMING.

DO YOU THINK THEY KNEW?

>> I DON'T THINK SO.

>> Jon: THEY WERE ORGANIZED.

>> THEY DID BUT THEY CAME FROM

THE SUBURBS.

>> Jon: FROM THE SUBURBS LIKE

THE WHITE KIDS FROM THE SUBURBS.

THEY GO TO A CRACKHOUSE THEY

MESS IT UP.

>> THEY CAME IN ALONG THE NILE

RIVER ALONG A PROMENADE.

THEY MARCHED WITH BANNERS.

I HEARD DRUMS THAT MORNING.

IT WAS A DIFFERENT DAY BUT I'VE

NEVER SEEN SOMETHING BECOME SO

GOD AWFUL SOUR AND TOXIC SO

QUICKLY.

IT WENT FROM CAIRO THE BIG

CELEBRATION TO DON'T LEAVE YOUR

HOTEL.

>> Jon: THOSE ARE THE DAYS

WE'RE HAPPY FOR THE GREEN

SCREEN.

>> I NOTICED THAT AS SOON AS

THIS BROKE OUT AND NOT TO TOOT

MY OWN HORN, A LOT OF US HEADED

FOR KAY ROW AND YOU HEADED FOR

VACATION.

WHAT IS THAT?

>> Jon: I WAS AT DISNEY WORLD

AT THE TIME.

>> OKAY.

>> Jon: I SAW IT ON TV AND I

THOUGHT THAT LOOKS LIKE

SOMETHING.

>> I'M NOT EVEN GOING BACK TO

NEW YORK.

YOU THOUGHT NEW YORK WOULD BE

UNSAFE TAP POINT -- AT THAT

POINT SO YOU STAYED AT DISNEY.

>> Jon: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WAS

SAFING THE PETER PAN RIDE.

THAT'S WHAT I WENT ON.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT COULD TURN

AT ANY POINT.

YOU HAVE PEOPLE THERE HOPPED UP

ON TURKEY LEGS.

THERE[LAUGHTER]

THERE COULD BE THAT MOMENT WHERE

THEY LOOK DOWN AND SAY, MY GOD,

CAPTAIN HOOK.

THE WHOLE PLACE DISSOLVES TO GOD

KNOWS WHAT.

YEAH.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: NO, I HAVE ALWAYS SAID

THIS TO YOU AND I SAY THIS.

THERE'S AN ENORMOUS DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN REAL JOURNALISTS THAT

PUT THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE AND

COVER THESE TYPES OF STORIES AND

PEOPLE WHO SIT IN THE COMFORT OF

THEIR OWN STUDIO AND MAKE FUN OF

THEM MERCILESSLY.

I HAVE ALWAYS SAID TO YOU IT'S

SO MUCH BETTER TO BE ON THE

FUN-MAKING SIDE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> I WOULD LIKE SO MUCH TO TAKE

YOU ON ONE OF OUR TRIPS.

>> Jon: NO!

I DON'T WANT TO GO.

>> WE GO TO GREAT PLACES.

>> Jon: THIS IS AN INTERESTING

POINT THOUGH.

ISN'T IT FRUSTRATING FOR YOU AS

A NEWSMAN.

WE'RE ALWAYS REACTING TO

STORIES.

EGYPT COMES.

PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE SAID

YOU COULD SEE IT COMING FOR

YEARS.

THEN IT EXPLODES AND EVERYONE

HAS TO FLY IN.

THE INFRASTRUCTURE DOESN'T

EXIST, THE RELATIONSHIPS ON THE

GROUND DON'T EXIST AND IT PUTS

YOU GUYS AT A DISADVANTAGE AND

MAKE MAKES IT MORE DANGEROUS FOR

YOU THAT THE NEWS BUDGETS ARE

CUT TO THE EXTENT THAT WE DON'T

HAVE THE FOREIGN ARMS WE USED TO

HAVE.

>> CAN I PLAY DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

>> Jon: NO, YOU MUST AGREE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> WE FLEW IN AND WORKED OUT OF

CAIRO BUREAU WHERE IT'S UP AND

FUNCTIONING 24/7.

WE FLEW IN WITH RICHARD ENGEL

WHO LIVED AND WORKED THERE.

>> Jon: YOU ARE SATISFIED WITH

THE NBC NEWS EXPENDITURE FOR

INTERNATIONAL NEWS AND WHAT THEY

PUT OUT THERE?

YEAH, I THINK IN TERMS OF THE

NUMBER OF VIEWERS IN THE WORLD

WE COVER, ESPECIALLY POST 9/11.

THE PERCENTAGE OF OUR BROADCAST

THAT IS FOREIGN NEWS IS

UNBELIEVABLE.

THIS HAS BEEN THE LEAD STORY 20

DAYS RUNNING.

IT'S PART HUMAN NATURE.

I CAN TELL YOU ALL I WANT TO

LOOK ATMEN, TO WATCH -- YEMEN TO

WATCH OUT FOR BAHRAIN AND LOOK

OUT FOR LIBYA BUT WE'RE GOING TO

PAY ATTENTION.

>> Jon: YOU DO DO THAT.

I KNOW THE MESSAGES YOU LEAVE ME

ON THE PHONE, SOMETIMES.

JON, LOOK OUT FOR ABOUT BAHRAIN.

I CALL YOU BACK AND SAY, PLEASE,

PLEASE, DO NOT CALL ME.

[LAUGHTER]

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I DID THAT I

WOULD SUGGEST TO YOU KNOWING

SOMETHING BUT.

>> Jon: YES.

>> I GOT THESE.

WITHOUT THEM I'M A GUY THAT

FAILED TO COMPLETE MY STUDIES AT

BROOKDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE IN

NEW JERSEY BUT WITH THEM I WENT

TO THE IVY LEAGUE.

>>

HOLD I'M, I'M GOING TO DO TRY

SOMETHING NEW.

THE GLASSES ARE A TREK ASSET.

WATCH THIS.

GET ME PARKER DOWN AT THE PHOTO

DESK.

OH, OH, LOOK AT THIS.

HOW (bleep) AM I?

LOOK AT THAT?

>> THAT'S A DOUBLE BARREL.

>> Jon: I'M GOING DOUBLE PENS.

LET ME GET THAT DOWN.

>> THAT'S GOOD.

I STILL SAY GET YOU SOME TRI

FOCALS AND A NICE HORN RIM, IF I

CAN SELL YOU ON THAT.

WORTH 75IQ POINTS.

>> Jon: YOU HAVE STIESM WE'VE

HEARD THE FREEDOM AGENDA AND

ALL.

THIS SUDDENLY WE SEE IT IN EGYPT

AND PEOPLE ARE BACK PEDALING

LIKE, WHOA, ARE THESE GUYS OKAY

FOR DEMOCRACY TREATING FREEDOM

LIKE NUKE LAR WEAPONS.

IRAN CAN'T HAVE A NUCLEAR BOMB

AND EGYPT I DON'T KNOW IF THEY

CAN HAVE DEMOCRACY.

>> I LOVE THAT WE'RE THE ARBITER

OF WHO CAN HAVE THESE WEAPONS.

AND IN STATE DEPARTMENT TALK WHO

CAN HANDLE THE FREEDOM.

FRIDAY THERE'S A PEOPLE'S RALLY

IN CAIRO IN PART TO REMIND THE

MILTMILITARY THAT WE DID THIS.

IT'S REAL AND IT'S HAPPENING.

THE ONLY THING WE'RE HEARING IS

THAT THE MILITARY HASN'T BEEN

TRANSPARENT, THEY HAVEN'T NAMED

CITIZENS HELPING IN THE

GOVERNING OF.

THIS THEY SAY THE PRIORITY IS TO

GET PEOPLE BACK TO WORK.

EVERYONE'S VOICE IS FREE.

THEY WERE PROTESTING THIS PAST

WEEKEND "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS

DOESN'T COME IN A MEDIUM?"

>> Jon: I SAID I WANTED A TOY

WITH THIS MEAL!

>> WE HAVE TO HOPE FOR A BRIGHT

FUTURE.

NEXT TIME WE'LL TALK ABOUT THE

MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD.

HOW IS THAT FOR A TEASE, HUH?

>> Jon: WHAT AM I A SPANISH

SOAP OPERA?

NEXT TIME WE FIND OUT WHAT

HAPPENS.

>> YOU START DOING THE --

>> Jon: THERE'S GIBBERISH.

YOU KNOW THAT.

>> YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO,

IT'S THE TRADITIONAL YOUR

SEGMENT IS OVER.

OUT COMES THE CARD YOU NERVOUSLY

TAP AGAINST THE DESK.

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE DONE

THIS?

>> Jon: I HAVE A STALKER.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

JOIN US TOMOR

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